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16 bars (edited)
Topic Started: Dec 2 2006, 01:49 PM (248 Views)
Vintage
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Angel
The duribility and militent representation, of an Avtomat Kalashnikova//
It was the first true assault rifle, i'm the first true MC born 18th of October//
Through november, december, powder released from bar cartridges embers//
Local like Partridge, make sure you remember, this originality forever//
Ever for the cause, lyricism is my sauner, words released from my pores//
To a round of applause, the inferior scoop up the remains off the floor//
Hoping to capture my supirior status displayed like hunting a wild boar//
I laugh and then roar and impale these whores within my right of the law//
I stand tall, I hold the authority over every crabby nut hanger criminal//
Firing disses and subliminals, eat 'em up regardless if they're inedible//
Fuck with me, i got a pack of wild animals waitin' and i still ain't fed 'em all//
Fork tounged, unload a pack like Rizla's, roll, smoke 'em and shed 'em all//
Lookin' to the bottle i find my influence within the blue Bombay Sapphire//
Heads twistin' back in my direction at the intellect like 'Yo hombre thats fire!'//
I laugh that i inspire, when i dropped out of school at 14, or rather i 'retired'//
I find myself being asked for tips, advice, it comes as a suprise, i'm admired..//

:shutup:
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Swiff Epics
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Top Member of Society
nice use of vocab as always, nice concepts too. only crit is maybe the lines are longer than they need to be at times but i understand that its cos ur puttin in so much detail.

keep it up
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Angel
Yeah the lines are long at times, i can shorten that up, i'm not planning on spittin' that or anything so i wasn't watching the length of the lines.

You written anythin new?
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Swiff Epics
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yeh it dont matta at all if its just text ur doin, i jus wanted u to understand that i read it and analysed it, so i bought that up basicaly. and nah not lately, been kinda busy, ill probly try do something a little later tho.
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Angel
Yeah, its all good with me, i didn't want you dickriding it like it was perfect, it's far from perfect, always room for improvement, but maybe you should write at work or something.
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supaboy47
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Da King / AC Prezident
nice verse eib like swiff said nice use of vocab but yea swiff ya shud write sumtyn
"The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous."
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[Blazing Heat Dynasty]
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ShyChlo
Top Member of Society
Very nice Joel, as usual, I swear you're lying about your age still.
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Angel
lmao, thank you, i never know how to take compliments, i'm real terrible at it, shame something like that is near impossible to spit.
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Angel
Edited it, decided to round it out into a 16 with 4 more bars.
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supaboy47
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Da King / AC Prezident
Quote:
 
i retired

yo hombre thats fire
"The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous."
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[Blazing Heat Dynasty]
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lyrical_girlie
Working-Class Citizen
You need more faith in your skills, Joel.

That's pretty good.
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Angel
Mrmmmmhhh, ain't feeling it no more, seemed forced, EIB for retirement! but, thizzanks. :lol:
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supaboy47
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Da King / AC Prezident
lol nah bruh ya cant retire
"The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous."
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[Blazing Heat Dynasty]
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Angel
Most people don't understand what the fuck i'm saying anyway, seems i have to snap my fingers to speak their language
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Dee
Newly Deported
Nice verse, da use of vocab is dope, so the multies were there out in the open, flow was on point and thats kinda hard since the syllables were long. Would sound weird in audio, but i would like to listen. stay up.
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Above The Intellectuals
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Angel
Yeah on audio that would be just too hard to spit lol strictly a written, but you know what you're talkin' about.
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