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| * D E A T H W I S H *; Fanfiction? BAH, IT'S ORIGINAL. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 12 2006, 05:59 PM (1,120 Views) | |
| jiz | Apr 12 2006, 05:59 PM Post #1 |
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trufax
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o_O Oh my, Jiz decided to write something. Shamefully, it's not fanfiction Cos I'm really no good with using other peoples' characters in stories :fist: So yeah, it's original? Oh my. It's kinda based on my life(oh yey, you get to learn more about me!) so expect some drama and emo crap But don't worry, there'll be some comedy from time to time. Fufufu, and name changes to hide peoples identities and situations have been changed a tad so my friends won't know if I'm really talking about them :ph43r: Nyah, and this uses Korean terms too, just to tell you. Now on to the story.Title: * D E A T H W I S H * Author: Jiz Rating: PG-13/T(might change) Category: Romance, Comedy, Drama/Angst Day Started: 04.12.06 Day Ended: --.--.-- Last Updated: 04.16.06 * D E A T H W I S H * How is it like to know that you're responsible for my pain? //Character Chart// ![]() //Glossary// Oppa- Term of respect for older male used by younger female Appa- Dad Umma- Mom Saranghae(yo)- I love you *More to be added later //Wishes// .00.01.02.03. .04.05. //The Story// A Lovely Death Every breath you take, every time your heart beats, the closer you get to death. You only have one life to live, make it right. When you die, you die. It's our destiny, you can't say or do anything to stop it. //00//PROLOUGE::What's in a Name?:: I tried so hard, I really did. I tried my best to let go of you. I seriously tried, I wanted to forget. But the thoughts of you would never leave. You still haunt me till this very day. Why is it that I can't forget you? Why won't you just leave me alone now? I'm tired, I'm weak, my heart is being crushed by this weight, the weight that is you. It hurts and it's breaking, but that's life. Life and love, I just don't get it. Your name, Cho-Hei. The symbol of my eternal suffering. ![]() //01//CHAPTER1::Hammers and Hearts:: We used to be best friends in the sixth grade. But that was it, after the sixth grade, I moved. And she was out of my live. But not for good. The memories of her, they still stalk me, like a predator in the night. They always get, and eat me up from the inside out. Though, looking back on some of memories we had together, makes me laugh. But looking back on the laughs we had together, makes me cry. I was in love with her. And I fell hard, so hard, it almost killed me. But, I could never tell her how I felt. I remember, back in the sixth grade, I'd always try to tell her. But I'd always chicken out in the end. "Hey, umm, Cho-Hei?" "Yeah, what is it?" "S-saranghae..." "W-what?" And then I would always look away from her and say: "Just kidding." I've always regretted saying that, because it just made me feel worse. But don't you find it strange for a girl to have feelings for another? The last week of school, we had Sixth Grade Camp. A week of nature. I remember looking out at the vast scenery on top of the mountain. It was breath taking. Everything was so small and insignificant, it was as if you can reach out and grasp it. Grasping the beauty of happiness. The simplicity of peace. It was all right there. I remember when we had free time there, she and I laid underneath a tree together. The sun was setting and everything was glowing with a tint of red. The wind blew and the clouds slowly moved away from the world. It was like a dream. She sighed. "You know, our hearts beat around two billion times in our lifetime." I blinked and turned to her but said nothing. "It's kinda scary, every time your heart beats, the closer you are to death." I stared at her then sighed. And I thought this, "If that's the case, then I wish to spend every beat of my heart with you." But after camp and sixth grade, I moved. My wish wasn't granted. ~~~ Yeah, short chapters But it'll get longer later on.
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| xSojix | Apr 13 2006, 03:27 AM Post #2 |
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Middle Schooler
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This is really good! But you're right. It's kind of short. Write longer for the next chapter!!! |
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| JMacalinao | Apr 13 2006, 07:17 PM Post #3 |
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YAY~
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Excellent, Jiz. Just excellent. Though the double-spacing won't prevent me from saying that it's short. :P :lol: |
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| jiz | Apr 13 2006, 08:39 PM Post #4 |
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trufax
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Chapter 2 is somewhat longer! XD Don't worry, it'll get longer when we're out of the reminscing and into the present(I suppose). And yeah, and I put a character chart up yesterday. It's not exactly how they look like at this point, since it's still a flash back x_X They'll look like that in high school though >_> New term, manwha=korean manga. Mmmkay. Song Eun and Kwan Hoon are introduced~ //02//Chapter 2::Middle Middle:: I was devastated after sixth grade. I felt like my whole world went crashing down after I moved away from her. I was on Cloud Nine when I was with her. And when I moved, Cloud Nine was shot down. I fell hard, so hard, it almost killed me. I moved back to a familiar place, though. I used to live here when I was in the second grade, With my grandparents for awhile when we first came here to California. A month or so later, though, we moved. But now I’m back, after five years. “You get to see all your old friends again, isn‘t that nice?” My mother said. “I suppose, Umma” ‘But it’s been five years since I’ve seen them. And we only stayed for a month here,’ I thought. Besides, it just the second grade, like anyone remembers. The only thing I remember was breaking my arm in the second grade. And well, the few friends I had as well, but I doubt they’d remember me. A couple of days later, was the first day of school. It was a brand new school, just built and all, though it still wasn’t finish. And it was just opened to seventh graders, so I suppose that was cool, didn’t have to go to a school that was overpopulated the first year. I had to take the bus. Which was a minus for me, I dislike waking up early and then walk out in the cold. At the bus stop, I stood alone. Arms crossed and looking down at the ground. I sighed. Waiting for the bus is always boring. Especially when you’ve got no one to talk to. I looked up and around at all of the other kids. For some reason being alone makes you aware of all the noise around you. Out of the jumble of people, one girl caught my attention. She looked oddly familiar. She was talking to two other guys. A tall one and a short one. I listened closely to their conversation. “Hey, Kwan Hoon,” She said. “Yeah, what’s up Song Eun?” Song Eun. I was a little shocked when I heard her name. Now I knew for sure, that she was my best friend from way back. She certainly grew a whole lot in five years… I wanted to go up to her and say hi and catch up, but I was nervous. So I stood where I was at and continued listening. “You see that girl over there?” “What girl?” She tilted her head towards me to point me out. “Her?” “Yeah.” “So, what about her?” “I’m sure that’s one of my best friends from 2nd grade.” “And?” “I haven’t seen her in like, five years!” “Whoa, then you should go up to her and say hi!” “I don’t know, what if she doesn’t remember me?” Looks like she feared the same thing I did. Funny. But I still didn’t move. “Ah well, we’ll just talk to her later.” After we arrived at school and got off the bus, I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Jin Ha-Neul?” Song Eun asked. I was a bit surprised, but I smiled at her. “Hey.” “You still remember me, right?” She asked. “Of course, we were best friends back then.” We both smiled at each other. Happy to know that we both still remembered. “Oh yeah,” She said. “This is Kwan Hoon behind me,” She pointed behind to the guy behind her. He was fairly tall, taller than I was. Actually, Song Eun was taller than me too. I find it funny because when we were younger, I used to be one of the tallest in class. But it seems I stopped growing fast around the fifth grade And everybody started getting taller. Ah well. “Hello there! Nice to meet you, I’m Kwan Hoon,” He said as he held out his hand. I reached out and grasped it. “Yeah…Jin Ha-Neul. Hi,” I said a tad nervously while shaking his hand. The rest of the day was just like that too. Every period, we went around the classroom introducing each other. I made two friends on the first day, besides Song Eun and Kwan Hoon. I meet Seung Woo and Hea Sun. Hea Sun, she was in half of my classes for the whole school year. She was in my science, English, and world cultures class. She was practically my only friend in those classes too. Seung Woo, he was only in my art class. And he moved after the first month of school, sadly. I ate lunch alone for about a couple of weeks. I would’ve eaten with Hea Sun but we were assigned different lunches. She had second lunch while I had first. It was kind of lonely always eating lunch alone. It always felt like lunch was longer than it should be too. I would’ve eaten lunch with Song Eun and Kwan Hoon, But for some reason, I was intimidated by their other friends. But one day Kwan Hoon came to eat lunch with me. … It was an ordinary lunch, boring, dull, and lonesome. I sat at a table that was right across from where Song Eun and the others were eating. I was only eating a sandwich Umma made me, with my favorite manwha at the time in hand. For some reason, eating and reading manwha at the same time feels so right. Especially when you’re at a climactic moment, it’s like your food just disappears quicker at that part. “Man~” It sounded like a guy complaining. I looked up from my book at saw Kwan Hoon in front of me. Surprised and confused at the same time, I tilted my head and let out, “Hmm?” “Song Eun kicked me out,” He whined. “Eh? Why?” “She said I was being annoying again,” He said sitting down across from me. “Oh…” Kwan Hoon turned around and pouted at Song Eun. “Big meanie butt!” Song Eun merely smiled and laughed. “Bleh,” He turned back around. “Don’t worry, this always happens,” He said. “Really?” So they argue like this often? Weird. “Yeah, I’ll probably be back in there by the end of this week maybe.” “I see,” I took the last bite of my sandwich. “That’s good to hear, I suppose.” “Oh yeah, they’re switching up my classes,” He said. “Really…” “Yeah, what homeroom do you have?” “401.” “Cool, that’s where I’m going!” “That’s cool.” So then afterwards, I wasn’t bored in homeroom and eventually, I joined Song Eun’s group for lunch. The first semester of seventh grade was fun. I had so much fun, but second semester… I met a guy that changed my life… |
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| Rark | Apr 13 2006, 11:38 PM Post #5 |
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MA Oldfag
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This is interesting, being "semi-biographic', if I could call it that, and all. Sad people are always interesting, and in saying that I mean no offence I just took Evangaline's words from back in the martial arts tourni to heart and realized how true they were. Well I want to read more, keep up the good work. |
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| Regginald | Apr 13 2006, 11:49 PM Post #6 |
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Middle Schooler
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You are very good at this, Jiz. It's very well balanced, with emotions. You know how to juggle drama and joy well. And it seiges well. I especially like the scene you described at the end of the first chapter. The picture was described in such a way, I was able to relate with it well. Good going. :] |
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| jiz | Apr 14 2006, 01:06 AM Post #7 |
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trufax
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Whoo~ Thanks for the comments everyone This is actually my first time posting my writing on the internets, so yay! :D Well, time to get back to work *goes back to writing chapter 3*
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| Shinmeiryuu | Apr 14 2006, 11:31 PM Post #8 |
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Cling Cling Queen
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You write like a shoujo mangaka would. :lol: All that deep stuff and such, lol. Great work, though. I like how the chapters are like little poem vignettes. ^-^ And the characters are pretty. :P |
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| jiz | Apr 16 2006, 07:28 PM Post #9 |
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trufax
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2 Chapters! w00t! In chapter 3, Dong Wan's introduced. Basically about Jin and Dong's relationship. Oh yeah, and if you've got something against gay guys, don't read it >_>; Even though Dong Wan just confesses that he's bi, if you can't handle that and it grosses you out, don't read chapter 3 D: Chapter 4 is about Jin's dad. //03//Chapter 3::Hopeless Love Dong Wan. The best guy friend I ever had in my life. He understood me. And I understood him. We understood each other Without words, We spoke our feelings, Our problems. Without words, Unspoken, We shared a special bond. It was strange, how well we got along. How similar we are, Similar in the misfortunes of love that is. A one-sided love, Unrequited, So sad, So pathetic. “You know, unrequited love, It’s very difficult. It’s not always having a one sided love For somebody that’s far away Being close, talking daily, and loving Somebody that’s constantly near you, Is harder than it would be under different circumstances…” He told me that. And he was right. I became friends with Dong Wan the second semester of seventh grade. Before, I didn’t really like him. Because he was, well, a social. And of course, people under the “Social” rank, Tend to view them as cold and shallow. But, Dong Wan surprised me. He was in my homeroom, he always came in late though. Kwan Hoon came in and sat across from me. “Hey Jin! You’ve got anything I could color this time?” I drew a lot, and from what others say, pretty well. So I usually give Kwan Hoon some sketch I don’t like to color. I smiled and pulled out my folder. At that moment, the bell rang And Dong Wan ran in and threw his backpack to the desk in front of me. “Yeah, Jin! Got anything for me to color?” He grinned. That was his first time talking to me. We were in the same health and power reading class, but we didn’t talk. So it was kind of surprising for me. To have Dong Wan randomly run in and say that. It was actually pretty funny. Afterwards, the three of us started talking about this and that. Dong Wan even joined us at lunch. He made life so much happier, enjoyable, For me. After that day Dong Wan and I, We were inseparable. A lot of people… Thought we were even going out. Whenever they would ask… “Hey, are you guys going out?” We turned to each other and pointed, “You crazy? Of course not!” Dong Wan told me, That I was the first person he came out to. I was flattered by the fact that he trusted me so much, He’d actually come out to me first… It made me feel like I was special to him… We were eating lunch together one day. Alone together, beside the wall of a classroom, Away from everybody else So that nobody could see, Nobody could hear Our laughter. With all jokes aside, Dong Wan suddenly became quiet. We both sighed. The wind blew through our hair And whistled through the silence. I looked down at the ground. I suddenly became aware of the situation. How it was my first time being alone with Dong Wan like this. It was a bit awkward. “Jin?” I looked up at him. “Yeah?” “Please don’t hate me when I say this but…” “Huh? I’d never hate you Dong Wan! You’re seriously one of my best friends ever,” I said with a concerned look on my face. ‘I wonder what he has to tell me that’d make him think that…’ I thought. “I like Shin…” I froze for a bit and my eyes widened. Shin, he was another social at school. Personally, I hate his ass. “Are you…?” I didn’t really want to say gay, since it’d probably sound offensive, so I stopped there. He put his back against the wall and slid down to the floor. He sat there with his eyes close and sighed. “No, I’m bi…” I frowned then sat down beside him. I made a fake laugh then sighed. “Looks like we’ve got another thing in common then,” I smiled. “You are too?” “Yep,” I nodded. Silence came upon us again. We looked at the clouds, slowly moving passed us. And we laughed. I placed my head on his shoulder and sighed once more. “So then Jin, if you’re like that, who’s the girl that you like?” I held Dong Wan’s hand and closed my eyes. I guess now, we really look like a couple. But the fact is, we like different people. “The girl I like… Doesn’t go to this school.” “I’m sorry…” “It’s okay…” I sighed again. “It’s almost been two years since I fell in love with her..” “Wow…” “Yeah, but I’m tired…” “…” “I’m tired of chasing after a girl I can’t have. And I know I can never have her. And yet I keep on running.” “I’m sorry, Jin.” “It’s alright.” “Have you ever confessed to her yet?” “No, I regret it though. Because who knows when I’ll ever get the chance to speak to her again.” “That seriously sucks ass.” “Yeah it does. And which is why I think… You should tell Shin how you feel before it’s too late, regardless of the outcome. Because you’ll just end up beating yourself up if you don’t. Just like I am right now…” He sighed. “I seriously want to tell him, but I’m afraid he’ll hate me. When a girl confesses to another girl, it’s different. Most likely the other girl would accept her and stay friends. But when a guy confesses to another guy… There’s always extreme hate. And usually some other things broken besides a heart.” I frowned. “You are right about that, I guess girls are more accepting than guys. But if Shin can’t accept you for who you are, then forget him. He’s not worth it. And don’t let fear get in the way if you’re going to confess. Not unless you want to end up like me,” I smiled. I placed my hand on his shoulder and got up. He got up soon afterwards. “From this day on, let’s work hard to get the courage to confess!” I said. “Well then Jin, I’ll cheer you on,” He smiled. “And I’ll do the same.” And with that, the bell rang, and lunch was over. I grabbed his hand and locked our fingers together. Then we walked off to homeroom. //04//Chapter 4::Dearest Father Towards the end of seventh grade, my father got arrested again. It usually happens almost ever year, so I suppose I’m used to it. But every time it happens, the more I realize how bad my family’s situation’s becoming. My dad was always the problem… He was a drug addict. I was born in New York. We used to live there for five years. Then because of my dad, we had to move. The only things I could remember from that incident Was that we came home from a party that night. My dad was acting crazy. Angry, furious, he was shouting at the top of his lungs Things from the Bible. It scared us. My mother took my younger brother and I to her room And locked the door. The lights were off and everything was dark. All was quiet except for my dad yelling nonsense. She held us in her arms and started crying. “I’m sorry kids, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I’m sorry you have to see your father like this…” She held us tighter. “What’s wrong with Appa?” I said. I was only five at the time. I had no idea what was going on. But I was still scared. “Kids, stay here, I’m going to go get the phone.” The phone was in the kitchen. And to get to the kitchen, she had to get passed my dad. She put us down. “Stay here, I’ll be back.” She opened the door, walked out, and closed it. I remember the fear I felt when she left. Would she really come back? I don’t want to be in the dark without her… I went to the bed and crawled into a little ball. I started crying. “Umma, please come back…” I heard my father and mother yelling at each other. Then I heard my mom scream. I shut my eyes tight, afraid of what was happening. Then my mother opened the door and ran in. She quickly slammed the door and locked it. Her back against the wall, she slid to the floor, grasping the phone in her hands. “Umma!” I ran to her and hugged her tight, as well as my brother. Then she called the cops. They came fast. And loud too. They yelled really loud at my father. So loud, it got my brother crying. We waited inside the room for awhile. Then one of the police officers came in and told us it was safe to come out. We got out and they interrogated my mom. The officer held a big kitchen knife. “Ma’am, we found this on him, did he try to harm you in anyway?” He asked. “Well, when I tried to get the phone, he tried to stab me with it, but I quickly rolled away.” “I see…” He started writing on a memo pad. I looked out the window. I saw my dad. He was in a straightjacket strapped down on a stretcher, being put away in an ambulance. I think he saw me, because he was yelling, “Close the doors and windows! I don’t want my kids to see me like this!” I quickly turned away from the window and looked around the house. It was all a mess, thanks to my father. After that day, we had to move. We moved to Texas with my uncle. We stayed there for a year, and my father came back. We then moved to California, with my grandma. We stayed at there house for awhile, And basically almost every couple of years, we’d move Because my dad would always get high and have the cops come. And I guess, for my mom, she’d like to keep my dad away and not have to be trouble for the neighbors. Because of my dad, we always had to move. It was always so hard to adjust to schools and get new friends. Because of him… I had to move away from the one I love… |
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| Rark | Apr 16 2006, 08:13 PM Post #10 |
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MA Oldfag
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Hmmm, Shinmeiryuu was right, it does sound like a shoujo manga. Extreamly interesting though. |
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| Jisatsu | Apr 17 2006, 03:42 PM Post #11 |
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Middle Schooler
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It's a great read so far! Keep up the good work :lol: |
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| jiz | Apr 17 2006, 10:38 PM Post #12 |
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trufax
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Just one really short chapter this time Meh, sorry for the weird, funky typos in the previous chapters >_>; I don't proof read my stuff so yeah xP But I did fix a few >,<; So yeah...chapter 5...gay people are humans too D: Special message? Sure I guess.//05//Chapter 5::Heffy End During the final quarter of seventh grade, Dong Wan finally confessed to Shin. Although, like he expected, there wasn’t a very good outcome. He told me about it on a Saturday. We were on the swings at the park. “I told him earlier today…” He said, swinging himself slowly, back and forth with his right foot. “By the looks of things, it doesn’t look like it went too well, did it?” He shook his head. I frowned. “I’m sorry Dong Wan…” He sighed heavily. “He hates me now…he told me to get out of his face… And that he never wanted to look at me again. He said I was disgusting. And he told everyone else…and now they all hate me too…” He started to cry. “All of my other friends turned me away too. I hate it, Jin.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t know what to do anymore. Everybody hates me…Jin…” He was about to fall off the swing But I quickly got off of mine And caught him in my arms. I comforted him, I ran my fingers through his hair, And stroked his back. I held him tightly in my arms. “I’m sorry Dong Wan. I really am. Shin…he’s a real dickhead. You deserve more than him, Dong Wan. You really do. And your other friends… What kind of friends are those? If they can’t accept you for who you are… Screw them.” He wiped the tears away from his eyes. “I know…and I’m acting… Really pathetic right now… I mean look at me, I’m crying like a baby…” I frowned. “It’s understandable though. You did just get your heart broken And your other friends turned against you. If I were in your place, I would cry too.” He pushed me away. “But that’s just it, I’m acting like a girl.” He looked away from me and sighed. “I wish that… There was just something that I could do…” He frowned and bit his lower lip. I could tell that he was trying To keep himself from crying. I frowned as well and sighed. “Time, my friend, In these kinds of situations, It heals all wounds. In time, they will learn To accept you for who you are. They will learn to accept you, As a human being.” I patted him on the shoulder. “Gay people…we have feelings to, you know. We’re just like everybody else. We have feelings. We love. We hate. We breathe. We’re alive too. But a lot of people can’t accept us for who we are And who we love. But with time, They will learn… That we’re human too.” I smiled and got up. I took Dong Wan by the hand and helped him up too. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” He sighed and smiled. “Thanks Jin.” “No problem buddy.” “Hey Jin…” I turned to Dong Wan as we walked along the park. “Yeah?” “I hope that… Everything turns out okay When you confess to Cho-Hei.” I stopped and looked up at the sky. It was the afternoon And usually here in San Diego, The sky is always cloudless around that time of day. I sighed and closed my eyes. Every time I look up at this cloudless sky, I feel relaxed. Empty. Like all my troubles were washed away. Like how all the clouds disappeared from the sky. It was as if I was engulfed by the sky. So big, so blue. It was like the ocean. It was like whenever I breathed in the air, I could imagine myself walking out to the ocean and letting the waves consume me, taking me away from the land, my troubles, and out to sea, my heaven. That was how I felt. I opened my eyes and sighed. “I hope that everything will turn out okay too.” |
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| Jisatsu | Apr 17 2006, 10:58 PM Post #13 |
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Middle Schooler
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Great chapter, and your special message is so very true XD |
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| Rark | Apr 18 2006, 09:16 PM Post #14 |
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MA Oldfag
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hmmm, another great chapter. I liked the park setting along with Jin's want to be swept away on the waves, really like that part by the way. Special message, not really, people are just slow on the acceptance of gays. Can't wait for the next part. |
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| Little Wolf 713 | May 17 2006, 09:52 PM Post #15 |
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Grade Schooler
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wow, i really like your story. i registered just to say that. *and the fact that the konosetsu coupling is uber cute!* i cant wait for the next chapter! |
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Cos I'm really no good with using other peoples' characters in stories :fist: 






![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)


This is actually my first time posting my writing on the internets, so yay! :D Well, time to get back to work *goes back to writing chapter 3*


7:21 PM Jul 10