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| Fanfic: Tenderness; My first attempt at a KonoSetsu fic | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 3 2007, 06:03 AM (18,451 Views) | |
| WitchCirce | Feb 4 2007, 01:28 PM Post #16 |
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Middle Schooler
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Beautiful! xD My, I love your prose already. Ryûchan, I salute your writing talent. |
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| Rutee | Feb 4 2007, 02:24 PM Post #17 |
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Grade Schooler
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You just made my day ^^ `Al |
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| Furu Kei | Feb 4 2007, 02:36 PM Post #18 |
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Middle Schooler
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That was awesome...so very very awesome... x_x but now I can't wait to see the next part...x_x Please continue...I hope to see more of such talented writing soon ^.^ hehe...I fourth Jisatsu's comment. -Furu Kei |
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| Ryûchan | Feb 4 2007, 03:37 PM Post #19 |
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Middle Schooler
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*bounces happily* By the power of feedback and ego-cake I now have two, nearly three pages more of the story. Maybe this won't take too long to finish up if things keep up, hmm? :lol: Dobbles, Hilarious you say? Wheee! Thank you.Hmm, should I be writing down the votes for the taking-off-the-kimono thing I wonder? :P WitchCirce, Oh such high praise... thank you. *bows* I hope the rest won't disappoint. Rutee, I'm happy to hear that. :) The encouragement I get from all you kind reviewers and the joy I get from writing made mine. Furu Kei, *big grin* Well, I'm writing on the next part... honest. :D Ah, another vote for Konoka's undressing... wonder what I should deduce from this? *j/k* :excited: |
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| Jisatsu | Feb 4 2007, 03:45 PM Post #20 |
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Middle Schooler
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Do you need more ego-cake? *bakes some more* XD And oh wow, you're a really fast writer! Always a good thing for us readers of course, haha. (Can I fifth my own comment about Konoka's undressing? XDD) |
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| Furu Kei | Feb 4 2007, 04:07 PM Post #21 |
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Middle Schooler
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ooh!! I'll help you bake the ego-cake, Jisatsu!!! yupyup!! Go Ryuchan!!! I hope to see your writing soon!!! hmn...can I sixth that? (hehe...didn't really know what I was supporting last time... >.> just joined because the rest of the harem did... >.>...and I thought you just meant changing to a new Kimono...x_x Furu--->clueless again) -Furu Kei |
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| Ryûchan | Feb 4 2007, 04:35 PM Post #22 |
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Middle Schooler
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More ego-cake? Wheeee! *bounces around for a bit before I will return to writing* I'm starting to wonder though if I can meet these expectations regarding Konoka's undressing. *grins* It seems that thought is particularly enticing... no-one wants poor Secchan undressing then I take it? :D Harem? *curious* Am I, as an ignorant newbie and all, missing something? |
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| Jisatsu | Feb 4 2007, 05:57 PM Post #23 |
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Middle Schooler
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Oh? We never said anything of the sort! I think we just assumed that they would "help each other", if you know what I mean :lol: The harem Furu mentioned is Ryuuen's Harem XD Would you like to join, by any chance? XD |
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| Ryûchan | Feb 4 2007, 06:29 PM Post #24 |
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Middle Schooler
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Aa yes, those traditional outfits are tricky to put on and take off on your own I hear... *nodnod* It makes perfect sense that they should help each other out. *innocent* :lol: Ryuuen's fanclub, then? Oh I would, his art is amazing! *I really should ask about that picture* Of course, my beloved would kill me for the "Harem" part though. XP Hope nobody minds that this part is shorter, it felt like a natural place to stop before the next part begins. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- TENDERNESS 2 (continued) --- It was late in the evening when Konoka finally made it back to her dorm room, having since the startling revelation regarding her father’s purpose there and his intentions for her Secchan had found herself in flurry of activities that, besides just plain being annoying, kept her from her black-haired companion save for a look shared in passing. She had stopped by Secchan’s room before staggering to her own, but the young warrior had yet to return, most likely still being run ragged by Konoka’s father and grandfather and their crazy ideas. With a deep, heartfelt sigh Konoka threw herself face first on her bed, weakly acknowledging her roommates surprised greetings with a wave of her hand, still processing the day’s events internally. Since her grandfather had insisted that Konoka wear a new kimono for Setsuna’s omiai if she were to attend it, Konoka had spent nearly all what remained of her day first in search of a tailor able to do the work on such short notice, and then being fitted and otherwise involved in the making of her outfit. A rare vain streak had surfaced when Konoka realized that the obi she had worn with her previous kimono would not be a good match for this new one, and with a sudden and desperate need to look her very best Konoka had spent a good amount of time purchasing one that would. Making arrangements with the hairdresser for early the next morning also took time, and during the visit she decided that new hair ornaments were in order to further go along with her new outfit, in short Konoka ran through the shopping district like a crazy woman until the last stores were closed. Once returned to the campus, the young heiress was tired to the bone, confused, upset and just a bit heartsick. It had been confusing at first, this fierce need to make sure she would look nothing short of the very best she could, and her impulse to put such effort into her appearance when she never did more than absolutely necessary for any of her own omiai. It came to her after a while though, a realization accompanied by the echo of her father’s comment about the girl that was out to steal her Secchan! going to be presented as a possible match for Secchan. She had a reputation of being a great beauty, daddy had said. And suddenly Konoka just knew she could not afford to be anything short of stunning herself, because... there was that nagging doubt eating at her heart. What if this person was really as pretty what if Secchan thought she was really pretty, what if Secchan liked her more and likeable like daddy said? A tiny voice in her head, a voice that sounded eerily like a certain cigarette-smoking panty thief, told Konoka to just run to wherever Secchan was, tackle her to the floor and shower her with kisses until no-one else mattered. Konoka lifted her head to send a brief glare in Chamo’s direction. That plan didn’t work if she didn’t know where Secchan was, anyway. The frustrated scream Konoka belted out into her pillow had both Asuna and Negi jump and look at one another with wide, almost frightened eyes. A small gesture from Asuna and Negi dashed off into the tiny kitchen to prepare some tea while Konoka’s long-time roommate and friend sat down on the bed next to the prone girl. “Konoka? What’s wrong?” The lanky redhead patted Konoka’s shoulder, managing to coax the brunette to turn around and sit up. The expression on her friend’s face only managed to turn concern into alarm however. “W-what? What is it?” In fits and starts Konoka told her friends what had happened, her story gaining momentum as she spoke until Asuna had to snatch back the mug Negi had given Konoka before they were all wearing the tea that was being sloshed about with Konoka’s agitated movements. “Oh Asuunaa... what if Secchan likes her more!” Konoka wailed at last into a pillow taken hostage after the mug had been plucked from her grasp. Soft sobbing and shaking shoulders followed, causing the bewildered Asuna to scramble to hug her crying friend. Negi on the other hand paled and scrambled about putting all the materials for his experiments – and other liquids – securely out of immediate sight and reach. Asuna spared the boy a half-hearted glare, but couldn’t be bothered to argue at the moment. “There, there...” She patted Konoka on the back awkwardly, trying to sound comforting. “I’m sure that’s not possible. Setsuna thinks the world of you, you know.” “...really?” Konoka stopped sniffling to give Asuna an intense stare that made the other girl fidget. “Y-yeah...” Asuna wondered just what she had gotten into. “So, uh, Setsuna’s looking to get married, then?” Oops, that was very much the wrong thing to say. “NO!” The wet dark brown eyes narrowed dangerously. “This isn’t Secchan’s idea! She had no idea about all of this, someone just approached daddy and he didn’t know better and...” Konoka trailed off into dark mumbles that Asuna was sure she didn’t want to hear. “I don’t know how daddy could do this!” Konoka complained suddenly, clutching her pillow tighter while her lower lip trembled pitifully. “Doesn’t he know that Secchan is... that Secchan is... Secchan...” “Secchan is my Secchan!” Silence followed the plaintive cry, in which Konoka seemed to finally unwind some, merely sitting there hugging the pillow with Asuna scratching her head as she sat beside her friend. Negi tried to be as quiet and unnoticeable as possible in order not to interrupt their talk, knowing himself to be far out of his depth in a conversation that had veered into the dangerous area of relationships and emotions. “Well...” Asuna said carefully after a while. “I suppose I’m not entirely surprised. The two of you always seemed... almost like you were dating, or something.” Instead of correcting Asuna on her assumption Konoka found herself asking instead “Does that... bother you?” Asuna flashed a wide lopsided grin and leaned the side of her head against Konoka’s. “Me? Nah, of course not! I... nah. I wouldn’t be.” She hugged Konoka who smiled for the first time since entering the room and hugged back. “I always kinda thought the two of you made a cute couple.” The last bit came with a wink that made Konoka’s smile widen a bit and gave the girl a rather pleased look. “So... you’re going to be dressed to knock Setsuna’s socks off tomorrow, huh?” “I’ll try.” The usual twinkle was returning to dark brown eyes. “And that means I should really go to sleep if I don’t want to arrive at the meeting with my eyes bloodshot and with dark rings around them.” “Good thinking.” Asuna chuckled slightly. “Anything I can help with though?” And there was. Asuna promised to make sure Konoka got out of bed the same time as Asuna herself did next morning, no matter what it took. It was a promise she fulfilled with little difficulty as the nervous Konoka practically flew out of bed on her own accord when the alarm rang, but nonetheless Asuna kept Konoka company, full of cheer and pep-talk, on the way into town before Asuna had to go deliver her newspapers. |
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| Jisatsu | Feb 4 2007, 06:41 PM Post #25 |
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Middle Schooler
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But of course! It'll be much more... pleasurable for their aching muscles (after running about preparing for the omiai, of course). Which of Ryuu's pictures might you be talking about? :3 Oops, that was very much the wrong thing to say. Lol, no kidding! And Konoka's alter-ego is Chamo? Oh my, oh my XD Excellent update! Am still eagerly anticipating what you have in store for Konoka and Setsuna ;D |
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| Furu Kei | Feb 4 2007, 06:48 PM Post #26 |
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Middle Schooler
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*sparkly eyes* You're my hero!!!<3 Such great writings...and quick updates too!!! (x_x but for some reason I still can't wait for the next update) Please continue such great work!!! -Furu Kei |
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| Ryûchan | Feb 4 2007, 07:19 PM Post #27 |
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Middle Schooler
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*grins* I'm sure that excuse would work perfectly with Konoka's father and grandfather, too. ;P Ah, the picture... well I've been meaning to ask Ryuuen about that lovely illustration he did for Half of a Soul, if I could possibly have his permission to print it for my wall calendar. *sheepish* I need to remember to do that _before_ the month in question arrives. XP
:lol: After watching the OAVs I'm convinced Konoka is secretly a shameless flirt where Setsuna is concerned - she SO looks like she knows what she is doing to Secchan when she teases her in those. :P And if she does, she sure seems like she could have an "inner Chamo voice". XP
I'm a hero! Wheee! *grins* Unfortunately I'm afraid you'll have to wait for the next update... since I'll have to sign off for the night. XP But thanks for sticking with the story! ^__^ |
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| Dobbles | Feb 4 2007, 09:22 PM Post #28 |
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Grade Schooler
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Oh my goodness! Ryuchan you are just flat out brilliant! You have me waiting on the edge of the seat for more! -bows to you- You are just...words fail me! You are too awesome with your fast updates and ideas. Can't wait to see more from you ^___^ Keep this up and I think the world has another KonoSetsu fanfic writer to be hailed! So, much love <3! Hope to see more soon ;D |
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| Ryuuen | Feb 4 2007, 11:48 PM Post #29 |
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High Schooler
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yes you can XD; I love the continuation! I can't wait for the next thing that will happen! xD |
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| Ryûchan | Feb 5 2007, 10:14 AM Post #30 |
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Middle Schooler
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Dobbles, Wheee! :D I haven't had much time to write yet today, so... only two pages so far, but I'm trying, I'm trying. ;D Ryuuen, Thank you! :) The month of... *thinks* July will look just gorgeous! :D And yes yes, I'm going back to writing... *heh* -------------------------------------------- Since I'm not sure if the rule about not posting twice in a row applies to fanfic topics as well, I'm going to try to just edit my last post to include the next bit of the story. Hope this works. ^~^;; I hope things don't get to weird in this part. ^.^ ---------------------------------------------- TENDERNESS 2 (continued) --- The morning flew by in a hectic flash, and far too soon for her frazzled nerves Konoka found herself carefully walking through the lobby of the hotel that, as it turned out, was located suspiciously close to campus grounds. An elevator ride later and Konoka was performing a last critical survey of her appearance in a full-length mirror in the hallway outside of the conference suite where the omiai was going to be held. She looked... pretty, Konoka decided, the kimono with its hues of pink, pale pink and white was actually quite a bit more flattering than its predecessor, her hair had been brushed until it shone before being partially done up in an elaborate style accentuated by the pink, white, and red wood hair ornaments. Would it be enough? Normally Konoka was not a person prone to vanity although she was well aware of the fact that she was an attractive girl. Enough people had praised her beauty over the years for her to be cognisant of this, but until recent events it had not been something she had concerned herself with. With her Secchan summoned to an omiai however, her appearance was of outmost importance... Konoka was going to do whatever she could to ensure that her beautiful black-haired warrior’s eyes were firmly fixed on her where they belonged. The possessive nature of her thoughts made Konoka blush slightly for a moment, but she was quickly shaken from her contemplation when the doors in front of her opened and Chachamaru of all people appeared to escort Konoka inside. The main room was empty save for being lavished with furniture, the meeting instead being held in the somewhat smaller and more traditionally decorated room beyond that and facing the glass balcony, and it was there Konoka found the others waiting. Five people were seated at the low table, and Konoka scanned the faces quickly, unconsciously searching for her unknown rival. There was grandpa, Miss Minamoto from school, and opposite them daddy, Eva-san and... Secchan. Everything else just faded away when the two girls got a good look at one another. Secchan was dressed in white and blue, her glossy black hair pulled back in a different type of ponytail than the one she usually wore and tied with a long narrow blue ribbon. Even sitting down she managed to cut an impressive figure in her new outfit, and Konoka felt herself blush slightly just looking at her handsome Secchan. Whatever concerns Konoka might still have held regarding her own appearance were completely dispelled with Secchan’s more than satisfactory reaction upon seeing her. The young warrior’s eyes grew wide as saucers, and with a sudden violent jerk Secchan grabbed hold of the person nearest her, apparently completely without noticing. Evangeline cursed under her breath but otherwise said nothing as she discreetly pried the death-grip off her dress jacket and, in a tiny gesture of kindness that she was not exactly known for, carefully returned the hand to its owner’s lap. The smile that Konoka gave her Secchan as she made her way towards the empty seat in front of the other girl was a particularly sweet one, and it made Secchan blurt something out in a longing tone of voice that brought a fierce blush to the shy girl’s cheeks. “So beautiful...” Secchan breathed before catching herself and, deeply embarrassed, avoided facing the looks of the people seated at the table by staring intently at her hands. Konoka blushed as well, pleased, and giggled softly with happiness. “Thanks Secchan.” The warmth of her tone drew Secchan’s gaze back up towards herself as if Secchan just couldn’t help it. “And you look... gorgeous.” Evangeline cleared her throat and smirked at her blushing classmates. “Now that we’re all here, shall we get this meeting started?” That caught Konoka’s attention. “We’re all here?” She looked around her, noticing for the first time that there were no other spaces left by the table now that she had taken her seat. “But... what about...” Secchan looked as bewildered as Konoka felt. Next to Konoka Minamoto Shizuna spoke up. “I hope you do not mind that I am here Konoka-chan. The principal asked for my aid in representing you for this omiai, apparently the principal felt a woman’s perspective was needed.” “Representing... me?” From opposite end of the table Eishun cut in, grinning widely as he was speaking to the equally confused Setsuna. “So, Setsuna-kun, didn’t I promise that the young lady would be a beauty?” The two girls stared at one another as if the other would provide some clue as to what was going on. Then, as if on cue, both sets of dark brown eyes widened in comprehension. “Me!” Konoka’s hands flew to her face in excitement. “Oh daddy, are you saying that you want me to marry Secchan?” When Eishun chuckled softly and nodded at his practically squealing daughter, Konoka immediately turned towards the cheerfully grinning old man that unbeknownst to her had orchestrated the whole event. “May I, grandpa? May I really?” “Setsuna-kun would make an excellent partner for you, and you have my blessing.” Konoemon said in an attempt at sounding at least somewhat dignified in the face of his precious granddaughter’s overwhelming happiness. Internally he was already patting himself on the back for a job well done. Big brown eyes watered up as Konoka turned to face Secchan again, biting her lip and subtly beginning to bounce in place. Finally with a shriek of joy Konoka could no longer hold back and bolted to her feet, rounded the end of the table, and launched herself at the seated Secchan. Suddenly flattened against the floor the black-haired girl still managed to instinctively catch her precious ojousama in her arms as they went down. “YES! Oh YES!” And then Konoka enthusiastically pressed her lips to those of her beloved Secchan, eagerly demonstrating her love and her joy in a prolonged kiss. Eventually the world filtered back in, and it was accompanied by giggling and several people clearing their throats. The two flew apart, or rather Setsuna flew upright and away from Konoka, whom happily scooted after her and attached herself to the violently blushing girl’s arm. “Alright then, like I said before... let’s get this started.” Evangeline said, smirking slightly at her classmates before focusing on the people facing her. Konoemon began laying out the usual type of thing, and so the cumbersome process of planning Konoka and Setsuna’s future began. Except of course that neither girl heard a single word. Konoka was leaning heavily on the other girl, looking up at her beloved Secchan with such utter adoration in her eyes it completely stole Secchan’s breath away. Which was alright since when Secchan’s eyes followed the path one of her hands were lightly tracing down Konoka’s face until it reached her lips, it was as if a magnet had been turned on, irresistibly pulling them together... and Secchan breathed in a puff of hot air slipping directly from Konoka’s lips... “EXCUSE me!” Evangeline rapped her hand against the table loudly in order to get Konoka and Setsuna’s attention. “Are we boring you terribly with planning how to get the two of you married?” The small blonde sounded somewhat sickly sweet and she was rolling her eyes at them. Blushing and apologizing the young couple straightened out and faced the table. It seemed they had missed quite a lot while being engrossed in each other, as somehow the usual details already seemed to have been hammered out – neither girl knew that those details had in fact been decided upon beforehand, in a lengthy discussion between Konoemon and Eishun in which Evangeline had butted in and taken it upon herself to represent Setsuna’s interests – leaving a curious kind of negotiation procedure performed by Evangeline and Minamoto Shizuna that left even the instigator of the omiai watching silently in awe. “Evangeline-san, I believe we can agree that a wedding, should one occur, will be held in Kyoto unless somehow arrangements cannot be made for all involved to be transported there, in which case it will take place in Mahora.” Shizuna stated, apparently finishing a conversation Evangeline had stopped to bring Setsuna and Konoka to attention. “If you can assure me that this arrangement will include a vampire and a robot, I’ll concede.” Noticing the surprised glances from her two classmates Evangeline added gruffly in an aside “Don’t get me wrong, I’m just trying to make sure I get a vacation to Kyoto again in a couple of years.” When the two girls nodded obediently at her words Evangeline gave them a long, somewhat mischievous look before addressing Shizuna again. “What about living arrangements? If they get engaged I think the least they can ask is to get to share a dorm-room.” “I’m sure that is a reasonable request, however we must have Konoka-chan’s reputation in mind. Living with her fiancé years before the marriage is quite... unorthodox. Should word come out...” Evangeline snorted. “How will anyone know if they just live in the same corridor or if they live in the same room? Besides, there will be rumours regardless...” Konoka gasped and interrupted the bargaining process. “I can get to share a room with Secchan?” She immediately turned shimmering large brown eyes on her grandfather. “Grandpa, I want to live with Secchan! Can I, please?” Shizuna tried to hide her chuckle behind a hand, while Evangeline just shook her head and smirked. “You’re ruining our fun, you know?” “Hmm... unless my son-in-law wants to protests it I suppose that can be arranged, although it will take a while.” Konoemon couldn’t help grant his precious granddaughter’s wish, and besides, he knew her well enough to know that now that the idea had been planted Konoka would be living with Setsuna no matter what Konoemon allowed or not. When nothing was heard from Eishun but an approving and amused mumble, Evangeline volunteered to help Konoemon arrange the living situation later on. Shizuna picked up the next item on the agenda. “Now that the living situation has been seen to I believe you could concede the name issue. It would be preferable if Setsuna-kun had her last name changed to Konoe at least before the engagement becomes official.” Whatever Evangeline was to have countered with was interrupted by Konoka. “Secchan, are you ok with changing your name?” She turned to take a closer look at her beloved. “Se-Secchan!” The black-haired girl had turned a shade of deep burgundy which just could not be healthy, especially not for someone whose natural complexion was so fair. On top of that her eyes, which shone a sickly surreal white against the redness of her face, were unfocused and swivelling as if the she had already fainted in her seat and just forgotten to fall over. Setsuna and Konoka were quickly excused and helped out on the balcony where Konoka could keep Setsuna company as the fresh air might help her recover. The rest of the group would continue the conversations just fine without them, and it was clear that young Setsuna would not be able to take much more. Ten minutes later, conversation inside the room came to a halt once more. “Konoka!” Eishun called to his daughter, the open door to the balcony letting his voice reach her quite easily. “You realize that you and Setsuna-kun are standing in front of a wall-wide window, don’t you?” “Then don’t watch us, daddy!” --- |
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Thank you.
*grins* 
7:21 PM Jul 10