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Hey folks,

It is with a very broken heart that I send this update today. And I sincerely apologize for not updating you sooner. I have not been with the computer or even home much at all.

On Halloween night, Steve entered into a coma-like state due to heart failure. He really suffered this week even with the doctor placing him on morphine to help ease the pain and the other things he was going through due to the heart failure. Last night a little before midnight, his breathing calmed and he seemed to have a peace we had not seen since Saturday. This morning around 4 a.m. he passed away very quietly. His 3 children, myself, and his sister were with him.

It was hard to deal with this week knowing we were going to lose him but when he went this morning it was comforting in a way due to the suffering he had gone through this week. He literally drowned very slowly in his own fluids. We each took turns sunctioning the fluid at times during the week, but it would build back up almost as soon as we did.

I will miss Steve so much. He was the best friend I ever had and taught me so much about life. I don't know why we don't realize what we have until it's nearly gone or gone.

Steve loved so many of you so much. You each brightened his day in so many ways. He would talk about so many of you so often that it was as if I knew all of you too. I will always be grateful to each one of you for the friendship you gave Steve. I worked so many hours these past few months when his health got worse that he spent a lot of time alone. I know that he said so many of you helped him in so many ways. I appreciate that and Steve did too. He thought of you as friends and not just as people on the Internet.

I printed out every e-mail that came in these past few weeks and all the postings, and even this week when he went into the coma I read each and every one of them to him. He loved them and they made him smile and gave him comfort I know.

He gave me a note about a month ago when we went and redid his living will and stuff. He told me to post this on his Facebook page when he was gone:

"To each of my friends out there in the world. Each day you came into my life. We laughed together. We talked. We communed. We talked soaps, movies, TV, sex.............you name it and we probably discussed it at some point. Some of us have even cried together. We shared our lives. I am thankful that in some way I got to know each and every one of you. You helped me so much. And I hope in some way I might have even helped you. I just want you each to know how much you were appreciated and how much you were loved. Thanks so much for all you did for me and all you shared with me and all you gave to me.

Love, Steve"

Steve also asked me to share the following to quotes from poems that he loved:

Remember me with smiles,
Because your smiles helped get me through.
They gave me peace and comfort,
And hope to hold on to.

Remember me with laughter,
It was precious for me to hear.
It took away the pain I suffered,
It took away my fear.

And then this one:

Remember me with smiles and laughter,
For that's the way I'll remember you all.
If you can only remember me with tears,
Then don't remember me at all.

Steve requested to his family that there be no traditional memorial service. He hated them. He requested to be cremated and then have his ashes spread in a place very special to me and him. The place is in Southern Middle Tennessee and Steve and I often hiked there among other things. It is called Stillhouse Hollow Falls and we often drove down there and hiked in and around the area.

In a few days or next week, his sister, 3 children, his ex-wife and I (his choices) will have a very private service there and scatter his ashes there at his request.

I am going to close now and post this at Facebook too. Right now I have no plans to do anything with Steve's Facebook page, but his blogs and stuff like SoapsWEB I will probably disban in a few weeks. I'll continue to check this e-mail for awhile and then just close it too.

Again thanks to each of you for the prayers, the well wishes, the thoughts, and esp. for your friendship. It meant so much to me and it really meant a lot to Steve.

Love to each of you,

Gil