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| Look... if you had... one shot... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 18 2006, 01:40 AM (116 Views) | |
| iammax | Jul 18 2006, 01:40 AM Post #1 |
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...To sit on your lazy butt And watch all the TV you ever wanted Until your brain turned to mush Would you go for it? Or just let it slip? Yo Remote is ready Eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flintstones on the TV already Wilma 'n' Betty No virgin to channel surfin' And I'm HD-ready So I flip Garbage is all I'm getting There's Simon Cowell Who folks wanna disembowel He opens his mouth Always says something foul They're dyin', wow Wannabes are crying now He votes them out Time to throw in the towel Shows based on reality Oh, the humanity! Oh, Ozzy's family Sho' loves profanity Whoa, the insanity Oh, dogs that crap and pee Home of depravity? No, they live happily Yo Plus "Da Ali G Show" And "Celebrity Mole" Oh, and there's Anna Nicole Well, she's scaring me "Look ma, no cavities" Oh, it's a station break Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something "You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show (show) My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo) "You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no) I'm gonna watch C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo) (You're gonna) My butt is aching As I watch NASCAR racing That show about undertaking Larry King To "24" to "Law And Order" The Weather Channel's boring like "60 Minutes"'s ancient reporters Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story" The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey Shows for next fall, they've already been namin' "CSI: Boise" and "Touched By An Uncle" both sound pretty lame 'n' So does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond" And "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter" Then I bet I watch "The Bachelorette" Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter" And "The Muppet Show" where they go 'Mahna Mahna' "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show (show) My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO The Disney Channel and A&E and Lifetime (yo) "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, cajoled me But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow) I'm looking at C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo) (You're Gonna) Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space" I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without A Trace" But I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour After that, felt like I needed a long shower Network execs with naked ambitions "Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians" Like to tie up those programming planners Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners" Leech-covered grub-eatin' fools on "Survivor" Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider And there's "Gilligan" and "SpongeBob", plus there's "MacGyver" And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a Special all Pig-Latin episode of "Drew Carey" Wanna turn on "E.T." 'cause I'm a gossip freak And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week A 30 second spot Then we come back to "Are You Hot?" I was planning on recording "The Sopranos" I forgot I love shows with or without a plot I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot Because I only have got One brain to rot I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show (show) My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo) "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show" (no) I got it on C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo) (You're gonna) You can watch anything you want to, man |
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| Mars Planet | Jul 18 2006, 01:43 AM Post #2 |
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now quite kosher!
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Stop it with the songs, Max. This isn't even spam. Just unwanted posts. Spam is when you have the intention of spamming the thing, or it's not even thought through. You're just posting these lyrics that bore people. Give us genuine spam posts. Not these... THINGS... |
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| Knarf | Jul 18 2006, 01:44 AM Post #3 |
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The one and only
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I couldn't disagree more. For this topic, Max, I wish you to have my children. |
![]() Fish R teh PS pwnzorz... Challenges are always open, normally accepted. Active: Logan, Level 1 Nomad (Bow) Retired: Francis, Level 20/20 Hero (Sword/Axe) Early Retirement: Minerva, Level 15/20 Swordmaster (Sword) Erosthane, Level 20/4 Berserker (Axe) Francis, Level 20/3 Sage (Anima) Lucha, Level 18 Vestal (Light) Conor, Level 4 Shaman (Elder) RP-Only Moses, Axe Fighter Alyssa, Soldier | |
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| Tyrone Buggums | Jul 18 2006, 01:45 AM Post #4 |
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I read the whole thing. >_> XD |
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| Knarf | Jul 18 2006, 01:47 AM Post #5 |
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The one and only
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Yes Buggy, yes! Simple genious! I'm enthralled by how well those lyrics were put together. |
![]() Fish R teh PS pwnzorz... Challenges are always open, normally accepted. Active: Logan, Level 1 Nomad (Bow) Retired: Francis, Level 20/20 Hero (Sword/Axe) Early Retirement: Minerva, Level 15/20 Swordmaster (Sword) Erosthane, Level 20/4 Berserker (Axe) Francis, Level 20/3 Sage (Anima) Lucha, Level 18 Vestal (Light) Conor, Level 4 Shaman (Elder) RP-Only Moses, Axe Fighter Alyssa, Soldier | |
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| Gigs | Jul 18 2006, 01:48 AM Post #6 |
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HELLO EVERYBODY
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Bore people? Weird Al ftw, dude. |
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| Tyrone Buggums | Jul 18 2006, 01:49 AM Post #7 |
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Yes old chum! The simplicity of the rhymes! The emotion! It just touches my soul! |
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| iammax | Jul 18 2006, 02:08 AM Post #8 |
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Amish Paradise is next, if I remember. |
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| iammax | Jul 18 2006, 02:08 AM Post #9 |
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Knarf, are they sitrus? |
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| Knarf | Jul 18 2006, 02:15 AM Post #10 |
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The one and only
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Name them whatever, Mom. |
![]() Fish R teh PS pwnzorz... Challenges are always open, normally accepted. Active: Logan, Level 1 Nomad (Bow) Retired: Francis, Level 20/20 Hero (Sword/Axe) Early Retirement: Minerva, Level 15/20 Swordmaster (Sword) Erosthane, Level 20/4 Berserker (Axe) Francis, Level 20/3 Sage (Anima) Lucha, Level 18 Vestal (Light) Conor, Level 4 Shaman (Elder) RP-Only Moses, Axe Fighter Alyssa, Soldier | |
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| Mr. Dansen | Jul 18 2006, 02:17 AM Post #11 |
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Air guitarist for the ages
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... This topic wins on so many different levels. *approval stamp* |
THE FEABL SAVED MY LIFE. I WILL NOT ABANDON IT. EVER.![]() 2/10/06: The Day of the Oath 5/23/06: The Turning Point 11/07/06: The Three Brother's Story, a real book?! 11/21/06: Honor Roll. HELLZ YEAH. 2/3/07: I turned 18? Really?! 6/1/07: Will the Wonder graduates *has been labeled as the Sanger Zonvolt of the FEABL by Crimson Archer* I AM WILL THE WONDER, THE GUITARIST THAT SMITES BOREDOM! | |
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| Kinkajou | Jul 18 2006, 01:26 PM Post #12 |
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I make iron women out of iron maidens
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XD |
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"Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice." Robert Frost, "Fire and Ice" | |
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| Clever | Jul 18 2006, 01:35 PM Post #13 |
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XD, post \"Your Pitiful\" Next lol |
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Billy Wyvern Rider Brittney Thief If I put apostrophes my computer screws up ![]() Bad Clever. % | |
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| Silver Dragon | Jul 18 2006, 02:12 PM Post #14 |
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~Ruining lives one post at a time~
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Ditto. That bit about J.Lo... when will the madness end!?
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Ghian Fey, A Knight of the People "A nation is made of people, not a single ruler." *inactive* <- Goddess of inactivity and surprise visits! | |
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| buu11235 | Jul 18 2006, 02:27 PM Post #15 |
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Boom.
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Great song. Although thats a little redundant, considering it's from Weird Al.... |
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Roland ~~lvl 20/10 Swordmaster~~ Alison~~lvl 15 Mage~~ Udo~~lvl 10 Brigand~~ Kaiser ~~lvl 5 Soldier~~ All PM challenges accepted!! If I don't respond in a day or two, go ahead and stat/rn the match, then pm me saying you did so. [CODE]<Dionysus> Intelligence is alcohol soluble.[/CODE] | |
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| Eliwood | Jul 18 2006, 02:46 PM Post #16 |
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samizdat
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Couch Potato, IIRC. Albuquerque next. |
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Here are your waters and your watering place. Drink and be whole again beyond confusion. | |
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12:14 PM Jul 11