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Adultery is a sin; And I'm going to Hell
Topic Started: Jul 31 2006, 02:33 AM (259 Views)
Syphon Knight
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Alright, most of you know that Wednesday was birthday, ya? Well...I will never forget my 20th birthday now. As the title implies, I got into a load of trouble and sincerly regret it. I've lost two of my best friends and nearly lost myself...

Anyways, my friend Steve's father has a summer house up on Lake George so he came up with the idea that we could have my party up at his place. Sounded cool to me so I took off yesterday and today from work so we could head up there. The week rolled by and finally it was the weekend so we packed yesterday morning and drove up there in Steve's SUV. I invited a few other friends as well as Steve's girlfriend, Lindy. We call her Lin or Lindy because she hates her real name, Linda. And she has an even worse middle name; Louisana. Anyways, the six of us make it up there and immediately buy alcohol (Steve's 23 so we had no problems getting it). We chilled for awhile, got bored, and decided to play beer pong (look it up on wiki if you don't know what that is; I don't feel like explaining it). I get stuck on Lin's team and she absolutely sucks. We got hammered by Steve and my other friend Rich, but we had fun. So we're playing that for awhile and suddenly we're out of beer. Steve offers to take a walk down to the bait and tackle shop down the road which, incidently, sells beer as well. Gogo hicks.

Now, I go into the bedroom and sit in front of the air conditioner to cool off and get ready for the next round. So I'm sitting there, in my drunken stupor, when Lindy walks in. She starts apologizing about making us lose and she's really giggly about it. I agree and tease her bit about her crappy skills. She laughs and punches in my shoulder. We get talking for a bit and I start to notice how close she is sitting next to me and how she laughs at just about everthing I say. All of a sudden, we're like 3 inches away from each other's face. She says "Well, I never did give you your birthday kisses" and she grabs the back of my head and starts plastering large sloppy kisses right on my lips! At first, I wanted to protest, but Hell, it's my birthday, I'm drunk, and she was looking pretty good right there. So, we make out for a bit and just when I start to notice how many time as gone by, the door swings open. The stupid lady dawg forgot to lock the door when she came in! And guess who is standing in the doorway? Yep, it's Steve with a six pack in his hand and a grin on his face. His grin and the six pack drop to the floor in a loud shatter. He didn't see us kissing, but he knew that we were. Before I can push Lindy off of me and stutter out an excuse, he opens the nearest closet and pulls out his father's .44 caliber handgun! He had shown me the gun a few years earlier, but now that he was pointing at me, it looked alot more intimidating. I nearly crapped my pants and Lindy clung on to me like white on rice. As Steve leveled the gun at my head he said, "Hey there, fellow with the hair colored yellow! What you tryin' to prove?! 'Cause that's a-my woman there and I'm a man who cares and this might be all for you". I said, "Excuse me". I was scared and fearing for my life. I was shaking like a leaf on a tree. 'Cause he was lean and mean and big and bad, Lord, pointin' that gun at me. I said, "Wait a minute, mister, I didn't even kiss her! Don't want no trouble with you! And I know you don't owe me, but I wish you would let me ask one favor from you, say, won't you..."

"Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister, Gimme three steps toward the door. Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister and you'll never see me no more." Well, the crowd cleared away and I began to pray and the water fell on the floor. And I'm telling you, son, well it ain't no fun staring straight down a forty-four. Well, he turned and screamed at Linda Lou and that's the break I was looking for. And you could hear me screaming a mile away as I was headed out toward the door. "Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister, Gimme three steps toward the door. Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister and you'll never see me no more."


True story although I really don't have yellow hair. And I guess the real moral of the story (because it needs a point or else Flare will close it) is to buy the Lynard Skynard greatest hits album. As I did with my birthday money.
Quote:
 
HK-47: Query: Can I break his neck now master? It's been a long time fantasy of mine...
Player: Maybe later...
HK-47: Query: Did you hear that meatbag? "I'LL BE BACK!"
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Kinkajou
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I make iron women out of iron maidens

*CTRL+F Bel-Air*

*not found*

*reads*

... *Googles for good measure*

...Bastard.
"Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice."

Robert Frost, "Fire and Ice"
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Mr. Dansen
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Air guitarist for the ages

... Interesting.
THE FEABL SAVED MY LIFE. I WILL NOT ABANDON IT. EVER.

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2/10/06: The Day of the Oath
5/23/06: The Turning Point
11/07/06: The Three Brother's Story, a real book?!
11/21/06: Honor Roll. HELLZ YEAH.
2/3/07: I turned 18? Really?!
6/1/07: Will the Wonder graduates


*has been labeled as the Sanger Zonvolt of the FEABL by Crimson Archer*

I AM WILL THE WONDER, THE GUITARIST THAT SMITES BOREDOM!
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Syphon Knight
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The "true story" bit is meant to be sarcastic. I don't even have a friend named Steve and I barely drink anymore. ;>_>
Quote:
 
HK-47: Query: Can I break his neck now master? It's been a long time fantasy of mine...
Player: Maybe later...
HK-47: Query: Did you hear that meatbag? "I'LL BE BACK!"
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Vicas
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Ok, hop aboard then. Adventure awaits.

... I'm not quite sure what just happened there...
Quote:
 
[00:09:11] Magus of the Purge: You and Kim's anniversary is the original Great Purge?
[00:09:15] Captain Vicas: Yep
[00:09:28] Magus of the Purge: No wonder your relationshup has lasted this long.
[00:09:32] Captain Vicas: Of course
[00:09:36] Magus of the Purge: it was blessed by Gheb himself
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LuteFanBoyNick
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>_>

....Damn you....

But your twenty?

And it isn't considered adultery unless you have sex with her...I think....
:D
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Heroman
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be wary of amazing chest

Me: After the first uneeded exclamation point, I got fairl certain it was a joke. >_>
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Syphon Knight
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Thank you Adder. And it's spoof off of the Bel-Air essays subsituted with Lynard Skynard's "Gimme Three Steps". Apparently, you young 'uns haven't heard it. >_<
Quote:
 
HK-47: Query: Can I break his neck now master? It's been a long time fantasy of mine...
Player: Maybe later...
HK-47: Query: Did you hear that meatbag? "I'LL BE BACK!"
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Knarf
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The one and only

*is still laughing, and has been since "gogo hick"*
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Fish R teh PS pwnzorz...

Challenges are always open, normally accepted.

Active:
Logan, Level 1 Nomad (Bow)

Retired:
Francis, Level 20/20 Hero (Sword/Axe)

Early Retirement:

Minerva, Level 15/20 Swordmaster (Sword)
Erosthane, Level 20/4 Berserker (Axe)
Francis, Level 20/3 Sage (Anima)
Lucha, Level 18 Vestal (Light)
Conor, Level 4 Shaman (Elder)

RP-Only

Moses, Axe Fighter
Alyssa, Soldier
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Vicas
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Ok, hop aboard then. Adventure awaits.

No, I knew it was a joke. I laughed at the gogo hicks thing.
Quote:
 
[00:09:11] Magus of the Purge: You and Kim's anniversary is the original Great Purge?
[00:09:15] Captain Vicas: Yep
[00:09:28] Magus of the Purge: No wonder your relationshup has lasted this long.
[00:09:32] Captain Vicas: Of course
[00:09:36] Magus of the Purge: it was blessed by Gheb himself
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Fallen Morning Flare
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HiMAT Laharl!

*closes topic*

Don't want to stat? Web statuator, effort-free version. Still in testing.
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Retired: |Mark 20/20 SM|Elenwë 20/20 FK|Isfin 20/20 WL|

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"That is neither alive nor dead which may be eternally superposed. And with strange observations even death may die."
~ Erwin Schrödinger, last known journal entry.
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Knarf
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The one and only

*opens topic*
Posted Image
Fish R teh PS pwnzorz...

Challenges are always open, normally accepted.

Active:
Logan, Level 1 Nomad (Bow)

Retired:
Francis, Level 20/20 Hero (Sword/Axe)

Early Retirement:

Minerva, Level 15/20 Swordmaster (Sword)
Erosthane, Level 20/4 Berserker (Axe)
Francis, Level 20/3 Sage (Anima)
Lucha, Level 18 Vestal (Light)
Conor, Level 4 Shaman (Elder)

RP-Only

Moses, Axe Fighter
Alyssa, Soldier
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Vicas
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Ok, hop aboard then. Adventure awaits.

*talks in strikethroughs*
Quote:
 
[00:09:11] Magus of the Purge: You and Kim's anniversary is the original Great Purge?
[00:09:15] Captain Vicas: Yep
[00:09:28] Magus of the Purge: No wonder your relationshup has lasted this long.
[00:09:32] Captain Vicas: Of course
[00:09:36] Magus of the Purge: it was blessed by Gheb himself
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Crimmy
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sausages, nanako

HOLY THREE-TOED SLOTH OF THE ICE-PLANET HOTH!



Yeah, Obviously fake.

Only way you could get a girl that fast if your damn James Bond!

Ever watched The Man with the Golden Gun?!

Hehehe...Third Niple...
Matthias, Level 17 Nomad
Fina, Level 9 Soldier
Ulrich, Level 1 Knight
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Floopipoo
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Painting the world the way you want it [:

*laughs*
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Kochipahk
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The heart, it beats for blood.

Actually, I believe that until you randomly started typing in italics. Then I realized it had to be a song due to repetition of phrases.

Give me my two minutes back, dammit.
The heart, it beats for blood.
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Seth
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I'm...HUNGRY!

C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!

D00d, nice.
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Beastiality is no joking matter.

Addar
 
stop seth you're getting me excited.
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Iron Shaman
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ha ha ha

Kochipahk
Jul 31 2006, 07:36 AM
Actually, I believe that until you randomly started typing in italics. Then I realized it had to be a song due to repetition of phrases.

Give me my two minutes back, dammit.

Yarr. See above.
FE: Herald of Faith
Take a look! IS has got event hacking skillz!

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Gooooo Fish <3
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Tookie
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Pretend I put something witty here.

I believed it, since I hadn't heard of the song.

Dammit, I want my gullible side out of my body. *emos*
Flare
 
Okay.

You have been dressed down by Tookie for trolling.

This topic is now over. It can be mathematically proved that there is no adequate comeback to that simple fact.


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Ursper
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FFFF

GAH, DAMN YOU!


and Lynard Skynard (or however it be spelt) does own. I got a live album.
RIP MICHAEL JACKSON. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T TOUCH LITTLE BOYS. </3
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Silly Tee
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It's his eyebrows. They're hypnotic, I swear.

Crimson Archer
Jul 31 2006, 07:19 AM
HOLY THREE-TOED SLOTH OF THE ICE-PLANET HOTH!



Yeah, Obviously fake.

Only way you could get a girl that fast if your damn James Bond!

Ever watched The Man with the Golden Gun?!

Hehehe...Third Niple...

LAIS! YOu CAN get a girl easy if you make her drunk, trust me...er...*runs*
I believed it till AZn told me it was fake...*shoots self*
LTC
Feb 7 2008, 11:12 PM
Last night I had a dream that my children would not be judged by the color of their usernames, but by the content of their posts.


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all hail to the Fishy one :D
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Iron Shaman
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ha ha ha

Quote:
 
"Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister, Gimme three steps toward the door. Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister and you'll never see me no more."


SM, Even I, who is oblivious to 90% of the musical world can tell this is a song and not real.

Still, I believed it all until then >_<
FE: Herald of Faith
Take a look! IS has got event hacking skillz!

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Gooooo Fish <3
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Zap
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yeah

^Yeah, that's what got me, as well.
"I'm sorry, I had to skip English to attend a Sammich class" -Shade

Zapper (Sage | Myrm)
Arleta
Leanna
Elena
Lexi
Sick
Darren

NOT THAT ANYONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THESE ANYMORE :D
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Tookie
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Pretend I put something witty here.

Iron_Shaman
Jul 31 2006, 04:13 PM
Quote:
 
"Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister, Gimme three steps toward the door. Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister and you'll never see me no more."


SM, Even I, who is oblivious to 90% of the musical world can tell this is a song and not real.

Still, I believed it all until then >_<

I'm oblivious to 99.9% of the musical world.
Flare
 
Okay.

You have been dressed down by Tookie for trolling.

This topic is now over. It can be mathematically proved that there is no adequate comeback to that simple fact.


Posted Image
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Gigs
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HELLO EVERYBODY

So, besides Urspy, I'm the only one who's heard that song? God, now I want to get a Skynyrd album.

Anyway, thanks for that laugh, SK. Haven't laughed that hard at a surprise topic inawhile.
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Tookie
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Pretend I put something witty here.

Yeah. It's the Prince of Bel Air most of the tome.
Flare
 
Okay.

You have been dressed down by Tookie for trolling.

This topic is now over. It can be mathematically proved that there is no adequate comeback to that simple fact.


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Gigs
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HELLO EVERYBODY

That's what made it sound unexpected and awesome.

And the fact that there isn't enough Skynyrd in the world.
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Knarf
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The one and only

I was expecting Prince of Bel Air too... Probably why I was laughing the whole time instead of being all O_O;;
Posted Image
Fish R teh PS pwnzorz...

Challenges are always open, normally accepted.

Active:
Logan, Level 1 Nomad (Bow)

Retired:
Francis, Level 20/20 Hero (Sword/Axe)

Early Retirement:

Minerva, Level 15/20 Swordmaster (Sword)
Erosthane, Level 20/4 Berserker (Axe)
Francis, Level 20/3 Sage (Anima)
Lucha, Level 18 Vestal (Light)
Conor, Level 4 Shaman (Elder)

RP-Only

Moses, Axe Fighter
Alyssa, Soldier
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Gigs
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HELLO EVERYBODY

You were expecting a joke topic from SK? And one from such a large wall of text, too?
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Knarf
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The one and only

Well, just the way it started off... Yeah, I didn't really think it was serious from the start. Once the lines began to rhyme I knew it.
Posted Image
Fish R teh PS pwnzorz...

Challenges are always open, normally accepted.

Active:
Logan, Level 1 Nomad (Bow)

Retired:
Francis, Level 20/20 Hero (Sword/Axe)

Early Retirement:

Minerva, Level 15/20 Swordmaster (Sword)
Erosthane, Level 20/4 Berserker (Axe)
Francis, Level 20/3 Sage (Anima)
Lucha, Level 18 Vestal (Light)
Conor, Level 4 Shaman (Elder)

RP-Only

Moses, Axe Fighter
Alyssa, Soldier
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Gigs
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HELLO EVERYBODY

That's what you get for not knowing your Skynyrd.

Jesus, this song just won't get out of my head.
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SabreCut
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Don't worry guys, I got a good price for selling you out

Figured it out as soon as my eyes moved over to the italic bits whilst skimming over it (before I actually started reading it).

Actually, I was going to buy Lynard Skynard's greatest hits album recently but didn't due to lack of money >_<
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Stuff about me? Well, if you really want to know...

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Gigs
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HELLO EVERYBODY

Get it 'another' way? Like I'm probably gonna be doing in 5 minutes?
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Serene Steelzard
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... uh-huh.

SabreCut
Jul 31 2006, 06:38 PM
Figured it out as soon as my eyes moved over to the italic bits whilst skimming over it (before I actually started reading it).

Actually, I was going to buy Lynard Skynard's greatest hits album recently but didn't due to lack of money >_<

See first part of quote. <_<;;
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Syphon Knight
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I didn't have italics originally. I put them in because people didn't know they were song lyrics. <_<;
Quote:
 
HK-47: Query: Can I break his neck now master? It's been a long time fantasy of mine...
Player: Maybe later...
HK-47: Query: Did you hear that meatbag? "I'LL BE BACK!"
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Gigs
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HELLO EVERYBODY

*fistshakes at said people*
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Lewa


Me: Nobody talks about nearly dying in DF. Thus, I knew it was a joke. Plus I got bored and skipped to the bottom.
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Floopipoo
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Painting the world the way you want it [:

Lewa
Jul 31 2006, 10:45 AM
Me: Nobody talks about nearly dying in DF. Thus, I knew it was a joke. Plus I got bored and skipped to the bottom.

Gogo boredom. I didn't bother reading, just skipping down to the bottom <<
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Moonlight
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help me im become weeaboo

I'd prefer to believe that this is true. :: Runs like the wind ::
I wish I were what I was when I was trying to become what I am now.
Men tire themselves in pursuit of rest.

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Iron Shaman
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ha ha ha

Lewa
Jul 31 2006, 06:45 PM
Me: Nobody talks about nearly dying in DF. Thus, I knew it was a joke. Plus I got bored and skipped to the bottom.

COUGHZEROCOUGH
FE: Herald of Faith
Take a look! IS has got event hacking skillz!

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Gooooo Fish <3
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Lewa


Me: That was in DF?
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Moonlight
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help me im become weeaboo

Yes.
I wish I were what I was when I was trying to become what I am now.
Men tire themselves in pursuit of rest.

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