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| Adultery is a sin; And I'm going to Hell | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 31 2006, 02:33 AM (259 Views) | |
| Syphon Knight | Jul 31 2006, 02:33 AM Post #1 |
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Alright, most of you know that Wednesday was birthday, ya? Well...I will never forget my 20th birthday now. As the title implies, I got into a load of trouble and sincerly regret it. I've lost two of my best friends and nearly lost myself... Anyways, my friend Steve's father has a summer house up on Lake George so he came up with the idea that we could have my party up at his place. Sounded cool to me so I took off yesterday and today from work so we could head up there. The week rolled by and finally it was the weekend so we packed yesterday morning and drove up there in Steve's SUV. I invited a few other friends as well as Steve's girlfriend, Lindy. We call her Lin or Lindy because she hates her real name, Linda. And she has an even worse middle name; Louisana. Anyways, the six of us make it up there and immediately buy alcohol (Steve's 23 so we had no problems getting it). We chilled for awhile, got bored, and decided to play beer pong (look it up on wiki if you don't know what that is; I don't feel like explaining it). I get stuck on Lin's team and she absolutely sucks. We got hammered by Steve and my other friend Rich, but we had fun. So we're playing that for awhile and suddenly we're out of beer. Steve offers to take a walk down to the bait and tackle shop down the road which, incidently, sells beer as well. Gogo hicks. Now, I go into the bedroom and sit in front of the air conditioner to cool off and get ready for the next round. So I'm sitting there, in my drunken stupor, when Lindy walks in. She starts apologizing about making us lose and she's really giggly about it. I agree and tease her bit about her crappy skills. She laughs and punches in my shoulder. We get talking for a bit and I start to notice how close she is sitting next to me and how she laughs at just about everthing I say. All of a sudden, we're like 3 inches away from each other's face. She says "Well, I never did give you your birthday kisses" and she grabs the back of my head and starts plastering large sloppy kisses right on my lips! At first, I wanted to protest, but Hell, it's my birthday, I'm drunk, and she was looking pretty good right there. So, we make out for a bit and just when I start to notice how many time as gone by, the door swings open. The stupid lady dawg forgot to lock the door when she came in! And guess who is standing in the doorway? Yep, it's Steve with a six pack in his hand and a grin on his face. His grin and the six pack drop to the floor in a loud shatter. He didn't see us kissing, but he knew that we were. Before I can push Lindy off of me and stutter out an excuse, he opens the nearest closet and pulls out his father's .44 caliber handgun! He had shown me the gun a few years earlier, but now that he was pointing at me, it looked alot more intimidating. I nearly crapped my pants and Lindy clung on to me like white on rice. As Steve leveled the gun at my head he said, "Hey there, fellow with the hair colored yellow! What you tryin' to prove?! 'Cause that's a-my woman there and I'm a man who cares and this might be all for you". I said, "Excuse me". I was scared and fearing for my life. I was shaking like a leaf on a tree. 'Cause he was lean and mean and big and bad, Lord, pointin' that gun at me. I said, "Wait a minute, mister, I didn't even kiss her! Don't want no trouble with you! And I know you don't owe me, but I wish you would let me ask one favor from you, say, won't you..." "Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister, Gimme three steps toward the door. Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister and you'll never see me no more." Well, the crowd cleared away and I began to pray and the water fell on the floor. And I'm telling you, son, well it ain't no fun staring straight down a forty-four. Well, he turned and screamed at Linda Lou and that's the break I was looking for. And you could hear me screaming a mile away as I was headed out toward the door. "Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister, Gimme three steps toward the door. Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister and you'll never see me no more." True story although I really don't have yellow hair. And I guess the real moral of the story (because it needs a point or else Flare will close it) is to buy the Lynard Skynard greatest hits album. As I did with my birthday money. |
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| Kinkajou | Jul 31 2006, 02:38 AM Post #2 |
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I make iron women out of iron maidens
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*CTRL+F Bel-Air* *not found* *reads* ... *Googles for good measure* ...Bastard. |
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"Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice." Robert Frost, "Fire and Ice" | |
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| Mr. Dansen | Jul 31 2006, 02:39 AM Post #3 |
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Air guitarist for the ages
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... Interesting. |
THE FEABL SAVED MY LIFE. I WILL NOT ABANDON IT. EVER.![]() 2/10/06: The Day of the Oath 5/23/06: The Turning Point 11/07/06: The Three Brother's Story, a real book?! 11/21/06: Honor Roll. HELLZ YEAH. 2/3/07: I turned 18? Really?! 6/1/07: Will the Wonder graduates *has been labeled as the Sanger Zonvolt of the FEABL by Crimson Archer* I AM WILL THE WONDER, THE GUITARIST THAT SMITES BOREDOM! | |
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| Syphon Knight | Jul 31 2006, 02:41 AM Post #4 |
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The "true story" bit is meant to be sarcastic. I don't even have a friend named Steve and I barely drink anymore. ;>_> |
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| Vicas | Jul 31 2006, 02:45 AM Post #5 |
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Ok, hop aboard then. Adventure awaits.
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... I'm not quite sure what just happened there... |
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| LuteFanBoyNick | Jul 31 2006, 02:46 AM Post #6 |
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>_>
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....Damn you.... But your twenty? And it isn't considered adultery unless you have sex with her...I think.... |
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| Heroman | Jul 31 2006, 02:49 AM Post #7 |
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be wary of amazing chest
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Me: After the first uneeded exclamation point, I got fairl certain it was a joke. >_> |
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| Syphon Knight | Jul 31 2006, 02:50 AM Post #8 |
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Thank you Adder. And it's spoof off of the Bel-Air essays subsituted with Lynard Skynard's "Gimme Three Steps". Apparently, you young 'uns haven't heard it. >_< |
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| Knarf | Jul 31 2006, 02:52 AM Post #9 |
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The one and only
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*is still laughing, and has been since "gogo hick"* |
![]() Fish R teh PS pwnzorz... Challenges are always open, normally accepted. Active: Logan, Level 1 Nomad (Bow) Retired: Francis, Level 20/20 Hero (Sword/Axe) Early Retirement: Minerva, Level 15/20 Swordmaster (Sword) Erosthane, Level 20/4 Berserker (Axe) Francis, Level 20/3 Sage (Anima) Lucha, Level 18 Vestal (Light) Conor, Level 4 Shaman (Elder) RP-Only Moses, Axe Fighter Alyssa, Soldier | |
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| Vicas | Jul 31 2006, 02:56 AM Post #10 |
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Ok, hop aboard then. Adventure awaits.
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No, I knew it was a joke. I laughed at the gogo hicks thing. |
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| Fallen Morning Flare | Jul 31 2006, 03:04 AM Post #11 |
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HiMAT Laharl!
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Don't want to stat? Web statuator, effort-free version. Still in testing. OC:____|Firiel 12 Vestal|Ithryn 19 Knight|Ivrin 20/4 Sage|Hathall 15/1 Barbarian| Retired: |Mark 20/20 SM|Elenwë 20/20 FK|Isfin 20/20 WL| ▂▅▇█▓▒░¬__¬░▒▓█▇▅▂
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| Knarf | Jul 31 2006, 03:07 AM Post #12 |
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The one and only
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![]() Fish R teh PS pwnzorz... Challenges are always open, normally accepted. Active: Logan, Level 1 Nomad (Bow) Retired: Francis, Level 20/20 Hero (Sword/Axe) Early Retirement: Minerva, Level 15/20 Swordmaster (Sword) Erosthane, Level 20/4 Berserker (Axe) Francis, Level 20/3 Sage (Anima) Lucha, Level 18 Vestal (Light) Conor, Level 4 Shaman (Elder) RP-Only Moses, Axe Fighter Alyssa, Soldier | |
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| Vicas | Jul 31 2006, 03:09 AM Post #13 |
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Ok, hop aboard then. Adventure awaits.
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| Crimmy | Jul 31 2006, 03:19 AM Post #14 |
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sausages, nanako
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HOLY THREE-TOED SLOTH OF THE ICE-PLANET HOTH! Yeah, Obviously fake. |
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Matthias, Level 17 Nomad Fina, Level 9 Soldier Ulrich, Level 1 Knight | |
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| Floopipoo | Jul 31 2006, 03:19 AM Post #15 |
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Painting the world the way you want it [:
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| Kochipahk | Jul 31 2006, 04:36 AM Post #16 |
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The heart, it beats for blood.
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Actually, I believe that until you randomly started typing in italics. Then I realized it had to be a song due to repetition of phrases. Give me my two minutes back, dammit. |
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The heart, it beats for blood. http://www.myspace.com/colonelkremlin925 http://www.facebook.com/rileyne http://www.twitter.com/kochipahk | |
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| Seth | Jul 31 2006, 05:00 AM Post #17 |
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I'm...HUNGRY!
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D00d, nice. |
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Battling characters Retired characters RP-onlies
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| Iron Shaman | Jul 31 2006, 07:12 AM Post #18 |
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ha ha ha
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Yarr. See above. |
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FE: Herald of Faith Take a look! IS has got event hacking skillz! Characters ![]() Gooooo Fish <3 | |
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| Tookie | Jul 31 2006, 08:22 AM Post #19 |
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Pretend I put something witty here.
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I believed it, since I hadn't heard of the song. Dammit, I want my gullible side out of my body. *emos* |
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| Ursper | Jul 31 2006, 09:00 AM Post #20 |
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FFFF
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GAH, DAMN YOU! and Lynard Skynard (or however it be spelt) does own. I got a live album. |
| RIP MICHAEL JACKSON. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T TOUCH LITTLE BOYS. </3 | |
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| Silly Tee | Jul 31 2006, 12:39 PM Post #21 |
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It's his eyebrows. They're hypnotic, I swear.
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I believed it till AZn told me it was fake...*shoots self* |
![]() all hail to the Fishy one :D | |
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| Iron Shaman | Jul 31 2006, 01:13 PM Post #22 |
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ha ha ha
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SM, Even I, who is oblivious to 90% of the musical world can tell this is a song and not real. Still, I believed it all until then >_< |
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FE: Herald of Faith Take a look! IS has got event hacking skillz! Characters ![]() Gooooo Fish <3 | |
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| Zap | Jul 31 2006, 02:07 PM Post #23 |
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yeah
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^Yeah, that's what got me, as well. |
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"I'm sorry, I had to skip English to attend a Sammich class" -Shade Zapper (Sage | Myrm) Arleta Leanna Elena Lexi Sick Darren NOT THAT ANYONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THESE ANYMORE :D | |
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| Tookie | Jul 31 2006, 02:09 PM Post #24 |
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Pretend I put something witty here.
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I'm oblivious to 99.9% of the musical world. |
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| Gigs | Jul 31 2006, 03:20 PM Post #25 |
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HELLO EVERYBODY
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So, besides Urspy, I'm the only one who's heard that song? God, now I want to get a Skynyrd album. Anyway, thanks for that laugh, SK. Haven't laughed that hard at a surprise topic inawhile. |
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| Tookie | Jul 31 2006, 03:22 PM Post #26 |
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Pretend I put something witty here.
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Yeah. It's the Prince of Bel Air most of the tome. |
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| Gigs | Jul 31 2006, 03:23 PM Post #27 |
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HELLO EVERYBODY
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That's what made it sound unexpected and awesome. And the fact that there isn't enough Skynyrd in the world. |
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| Knarf | Jul 31 2006, 03:29 PM Post #28 |
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The one and only
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I was expecting Prince of Bel Air too... Probably why I was laughing the whole time instead of being all O_O;; |
![]() Fish R teh PS pwnzorz... Challenges are always open, normally accepted. Active: Logan, Level 1 Nomad (Bow) Retired: Francis, Level 20/20 Hero (Sword/Axe) Early Retirement: Minerva, Level 15/20 Swordmaster (Sword) Erosthane, Level 20/4 Berserker (Axe) Francis, Level 20/3 Sage (Anima) Lucha, Level 18 Vestal (Light) Conor, Level 4 Shaman (Elder) RP-Only Moses, Axe Fighter Alyssa, Soldier | |
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| Gigs | Jul 31 2006, 03:30 PM Post #29 |
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HELLO EVERYBODY
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You were expecting a joke topic from SK? And one from such a large wall of text, too? |
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| Knarf | Jul 31 2006, 03:32 PM Post #30 |
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The one and only
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Well, just the way it started off... Yeah, I didn't really think it was serious from the start. Once the lines began to rhyme I knew it. |
![]() Fish R teh PS pwnzorz... Challenges are always open, normally accepted. Active: Logan, Level 1 Nomad (Bow) Retired: Francis, Level 20/20 Hero (Sword/Axe) Early Retirement: Minerva, Level 15/20 Swordmaster (Sword) Erosthane, Level 20/4 Berserker (Axe) Francis, Level 20/3 Sage (Anima) Lucha, Level 18 Vestal (Light) Conor, Level 4 Shaman (Elder) RP-Only Moses, Axe Fighter Alyssa, Soldier | |
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| Gigs | Jul 31 2006, 03:35 PM Post #31 |
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HELLO EVERYBODY
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That's what you get for not knowing your Skynyrd. Jesus, this song just won't get out of my head. |
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| SabreCut | Jul 31 2006, 03:38 PM Post #32 |
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Don't worry guys, I got a good price for selling you out
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Figured it out as soon as my eyes moved over to the italic bits whilst skimming over it (before I actually started reading it). Actually, I was going to buy Lynard Skynard's greatest hits album recently but didn't due to lack of money >_< |
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My theme, picked by Bugmeat Stuff about me? Well, if you really want to know... Unpromoted Characters Promoted Characters Retired Characters ![]() ![]() ![]() (Avatar picture was not drawn by me. obviously) | |
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| Gigs | Jul 31 2006, 03:40 PM Post #33 |
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HELLO EVERYBODY
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Get it 'another' way? Like I'm probably gonna be doing in 5 minutes? |
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| Serene Steelzard | Jul 31 2006, 03:40 PM Post #34 |
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... uh-huh.
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See first part of quote. <_<;; |
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| Syphon Knight | Jul 31 2006, 03:42 PM Post #35 |
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I didn't have italics originally. I put them in because people didn't know they were song lyrics. <_<; |
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| Gigs | Jul 31 2006, 03:43 PM Post #36 |
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HELLO EVERYBODY
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*fistshakes at said people* |
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| Lewa | Jul 31 2006, 03:45 PM Post #37 |
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Me: Nobody talks about nearly dying in DF. Thus, I knew it was a joke. Plus I got bored and skipped to the bottom. |
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| Floopipoo | Jul 31 2006, 03:46 PM Post #38 |
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Painting the world the way you want it [:
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Gogo boredom. I didn't bother reading, just skipping down to the bottom << |
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| Moonlight | Aug 1 2006, 01:14 PM Post #39 |
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help me im become weeaboo
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I wish I were what I was when I was trying to become what I am now. Men tire themselves in pursuit of rest.
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| Iron Shaman | Aug 1 2006, 01:17 PM Post #40 |
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ha ha ha
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COUGHZEROCOUGH |
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FE: Herald of Faith Take a look! IS has got event hacking skillz! Characters ![]() Gooooo Fish <3 | |
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| Lewa | Aug 1 2006, 01:30 PM Post #41 |
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Me: That was in DF? |
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| Moonlight | Aug 1 2006, 01:31 PM Post #42 |
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help me im become weeaboo
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Yes. |
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I wish I were what I was when I was trying to become what I am now. Men tire themselves in pursuit of rest.
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