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Jokes!; Everyone needs a laugh...
Topic Started: Jun 20 2008, 01:43 PM (521 Views)
Saidilophosaurus
Member Avatar
Chief of Medicine
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
More famous last words

Guy in Scampi exhibit
My, my those king prawns were good

Guy in Killshark tank
I don't think this cut on my leg matters much.

Guy in Lurkiller exhibit
This doesn't look like a plant.
I am the King of Putrescine and Sulphur.

Creatures (paid for)
Gurath
Mawworm
Cheetah Beetle
Scampi
Lurkiller
Weevion
Saidilophosaurus
Pyrotitan

Credits
10450

Pipeline
Aerotitan - Flying Skewer/Manta Ray/Elasmosaur omnivore that body checks things, electrical current
Hydrotitan - Great big ragworm with electric field, can suck in smaller things with bladderwort traps, bio-luminescence bursts, makes whirlpools
Chomatitan - Great big starfish thing. Ridiculously heavy, can spray out clouds of dust and salt. Lots of armour and thick blubber, slams arms to shark the earth.
Laser-eye insects
Skarsgar
Redux: Sharguana, Hellhound
Update: Mawworm, Scampi, Cheetah Beetle, Lurkiller, Weevion, Saidilophosaurus to current standards CURRENT STANDARDS OP NERF CURRENT STANDARDS BLIZZ
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albinoraptor
Member Avatar
5CHAR
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
more last words:

guy in ferret cage:aww,i think its cute!

guy in pheonix cage:good thing i have this ice cold water in my lunchbox,it`s like 900 degrees in here!

guy in burrier cage:OH MY GOD A GIANT MOLE!!!

guy in walrus`s office:i could use some cofee....
Creatures: Valen Rex Posted Image, Rabbat, Burrier, Secretary Griffin, Virusaurs, Demonis, Genohunter, Lizarians, Cetus, Snow Snakes, Ouroboros, Yggdrasil, Pyro Wasps, Wraith, Lagervo, Wolfworm, Iridesca, Stagroach, Aspidasaurus, Fulgetus, Mathogo, Noepe

Credits: 7096

Mr.11
 
It's not an obsession if your mom's okay with it.
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Deathstroke
Kraken
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
albinoraptor,Sep 26 2009
10:00 AM
guy in walrus`s office:i could use some cofee....

PWND!!!

















How are a plum and a rabbit alike?










They're both purple, except for the rabbit.
My monsters

Ammit

Credits

1200

Wins: 1

Ties: 0

Losses: 1



You better watch out.
You better run now.
'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW!
Ammit is coming to town!

She'll rip your arms & legs off
She'll have your heart for dessert
She'll slurp your blood up like a drink
But hey, it couldn't hurt!

You better watch out
You better run now.
'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW!
Ammit is coming to town!

She sees you when you're walking
She sees you when you're in pain
She looms over your carcass
Whether in sunshine or in rain!

You better watch out
You better run now.
'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW!
Ammit is coming to town!



My site. it could really use some members http://z3.invisionfree.com/Genetic_Game_Corner/index.php Come to this one too. http://z6.invisionfree.com/Beast_Wars_Ultr...dex.php?act=idx It's also mine.


98% of all teenagers have statistics in their signatures. If you`re one of the 2% who don`t, copy and paste this into you signature so you don`t look like such a freak.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Kingpin
Member Avatar
Kronos
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
FAIL.



Man 1: You should think about joining the army.

Man 2: Not for me, man.

Man 1: Why not? It's just like an first person shooter, but without the respawn points.
Quote:
 
At the beginning there was nothing but Falcon
And he said the emptiness
"Show me your moves."
And so the universe exploded
He saw this and said YES!
He saw this and it was good.
                      -First Punch, Chapter IX
Posted Image

Creatures
Hermagler, Triceramole, Pyrog swarm
Mammoboar, Mantine , Marrow
Rigabamboo, Bastia and Angelwing, Nerospitter
Fiery Harvestblax, Megatooth, Shadowcat
Solkor, Triloferous, Shade
Pararaptor, Condorian, Hippiddler
Chargerfish, Tentaculas, Azoth
Pullusmors, Shroomshi and Sporpli, Derops
Kraken, Zeus/Thunderbird, Biocell
Piscis, Taurus, Leo
Gemini, Aries, Cancer

Halloween, Christmas, JFourth

Fools Pack, Thanksgiving, Valentine
Philhog, NewYear, Easter, Saint
Chungo & Medrith, Abassi
Credits
100640
Quote:
 
Although when Walrus said there was a madscientist within us all I kind of got freaked out. I don't really want a triggerhappy weapons genius living in my stomach...
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Clockwork
Member Avatar
DEUS VULT
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
A blonde, a brunnete, & a red head walk into a bar. In the bar is a magic mirror. If you tell the mirror a lie, you'll get sucked in. The red head says "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." & got sucked in. The brunnete said "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." & got sucked in. The blonde says "I think..." & got sucked in.
Monsters:
Platty
Bomb-Blaster Swarm (100)
Underworld (Blest, Elysium, & Tartarus)
Minithulu Troop (6: Alfred, Abbs, J, Bob, Todd, & the Doctor)
Bomber
Acroman
King Cobroth
Badgewrath (Wrath)
Prometheoyster (Sorrow)
Monglut (Gluttony)
Corpslumber (Sloth)
Monitoxin & Serpoison (Famine & Pestilence)
Carnalug (Lust)
Lucifer (Pride)
Battalion (War)
Covetitan (Greed)
Grieffon Pack (Death, Swords, Plague, Beasts, & the pups, collectively named Hell)
Irewood (Envy)
Formicaesar Legion (Conquest)
Apollyon (Vainglory)
Blitzlax (Discouragement)
Babylon Rose (Fornication)
The Mass (Khaos)
Uranian Floating Octopus (Ouranos)
Almater (Gaea)
Nemean Antlion (Tartaros)
Bleeding Hato (Eros)
Hadalbender (Erebos)

COMING "SOON":
Juggernaut & Dreadnought
Five doses of ???
Protogenoi
Loves- 3/8 done
Destrux, my origin story

Credits: 5282

EEC: Gazenobra, Northern Kinhound, Fraternaraptor, Chocobornis, Vibrant Minami, Kakapwn

Battle Ratio: 12/0/10
Team Ratio: 0/1/0
Mission Ratio: 3/1
Written: 23

3DS FC: 0061-0480-8311
690/693/721 Dex Completion

Posted Image
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Deathstroke
Kraken
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Kingpin,Oct 19 2009
04:43 PM
FAIL.

It's an anti-joke.
My monsters

Ammit

Credits

1200

Wins: 1

Ties: 0

Losses: 1



You better watch out.
You better run now.
'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW!
Ammit is coming to town!

She'll rip your arms & legs off
She'll have your heart for dessert
She'll slurp your blood up like a drink
But hey, it couldn't hurt!

You better watch out
You better run now.
'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW!
Ammit is coming to town!

She sees you when you're walking
She sees you when you're in pain
She looms over your carcass
Whether in sunshine or in rain!

You better watch out
You better run now.
'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW!
Ammit is coming to town!



My site. it could really use some members http://z3.invisionfree.com/Genetic_Game_Corner/index.php Come to this one too. http://z6.invisionfree.com/Beast_Wars_Ultr...dex.php?act=idx It's also mine.


98% of all teenagers have statistics in their signatures. If you`re one of the 2% who don`t, copy and paste this into you signature so you don`t look like such a freak.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
albinoraptor
Member Avatar
5CHAR
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
yet more last words:

guy at my birthday party:yum,that cake looks good.i can`t wait to eat a piece.

spinymus:hey looks,cakes!i think i`ll get fat and heavy eating those!
Creatures: Valen Rex Posted Image, Rabbat, Burrier, Secretary Griffin, Virusaurs, Demonis, Genohunter, Lizarians, Cetus, Snow Snakes, Ouroboros, Yggdrasil, Pyro Wasps, Wraith, Lagervo, Wolfworm, Iridesca, Stagroach, Aspidasaurus, Fulgetus, Mathogo, Noepe

Credits: 7096

Mr.11
 
It's not an obsession if your mom's okay with it.
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Kingpin
Member Avatar
Kronos
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Deathstroke,Oct 19 2009
06:18 PM
Kingpin,Oct 19 2009
04:43 PM
FAIL.

It's an anti-joke.

Still...
Quote:
 
At the beginning there was nothing but Falcon
And he said the emptiness
"Show me your moves."
And so the universe exploded
He saw this and said YES!
He saw this and it was good.
                      -First Punch, Chapter IX
Posted Image

Creatures
Hermagler, Triceramole, Pyrog swarm
Mammoboar, Mantine , Marrow
Rigabamboo, Bastia and Angelwing, Nerospitter
Fiery Harvestblax, Megatooth, Shadowcat
Solkor, Triloferous, Shade
Pararaptor, Condorian, Hippiddler
Chargerfish, Tentaculas, Azoth
Pullusmors, Shroomshi and Sporpli, Derops
Kraken, Zeus/Thunderbird, Biocell
Piscis, Taurus, Leo
Gemini, Aries, Cancer

Halloween, Christmas, JFourth

Fools Pack, Thanksgiving, Valentine
Philhog, NewYear, Easter, Saint
Chungo & Medrith, Abassi
Credits
100640
Quote:
 
Although when Walrus said there was a madscientist within us all I kind of got freaked out. I don't really want a triggerhappy weapons genius living in my stomach...
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Clockwork
Member Avatar
DEUS VULT
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin & toss it right back.
Monsters:
Platty
Bomb-Blaster Swarm (100)
Underworld (Blest, Elysium, & Tartarus)
Minithulu Troop (6: Alfred, Abbs, J, Bob, Todd, & the Doctor)
Bomber
Acroman
King Cobroth
Badgewrath (Wrath)
Prometheoyster (Sorrow)
Monglut (Gluttony)
Corpslumber (Sloth)
Monitoxin & Serpoison (Famine & Pestilence)
Carnalug (Lust)
Lucifer (Pride)
Battalion (War)
Covetitan (Greed)
Grieffon Pack (Death, Swords, Plague, Beasts, & the pups, collectively named Hell)
Irewood (Envy)
Formicaesar Legion (Conquest)
Apollyon (Vainglory)
Blitzlax (Discouragement)
Babylon Rose (Fornication)
The Mass (Khaos)
Uranian Floating Octopus (Ouranos)
Almater (Gaea)
Nemean Antlion (Tartaros)
Bleeding Hato (Eros)
Hadalbender (Erebos)

COMING "SOON":
Juggernaut & Dreadnought
Five doses of ???
Protogenoi
Loves- 3/8 done
Destrux, my origin story

Credits: 5282

EEC: Gazenobra, Northern Kinhound, Fraternaraptor, Chocobornis, Vibrant Minami, Kakapwn

Battle Ratio: 12/0/10
Team Ratio: 0/1/0
Mission Ratio: 3/1
Written: 23

3DS FC: 0061-0480-8311
690/693/721 Dex Completion

Posted Image
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albinoraptor
Member Avatar
5CHAR
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
?

more jokes:

what do you get when you give MS a gun that shoots out chuck norris?TOTAL WORLD ANIALATION.

guy in bangor cage:i can`t wait to go home and see my good OH MAH GAWD WTF IS THAT THING DOING WITH A MACHET-(man dies)

shark:just go backwards,just go backwards,just go backwards...

and some classic-ishes:

man:hey,lot`s go tell saidi how awesome chuck norris is!

goldfish:blub.
Creatures: Valen Rex Posted Image, Rabbat, Burrier, Secretary Griffin, Virusaurs, Demonis, Genohunter, Lizarians, Cetus, Snow Snakes, Ouroboros, Yggdrasil, Pyro Wasps, Wraith, Lagervo, Wolfworm, Iridesca, Stagroach, Aspidasaurus, Fulgetus, Mathogo, Noepe

Credits: 7096

Mr.11
 
It's not an obsession if your mom's okay with it.
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Clockwork
Member Avatar
DEUS VULT
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
albinoraptor,Oct 22 2009
05:23 PM
?

more jokes:

what do you get when you give MS a gun that shoots out chuck norris?TOTAL WORLD ANIALATION.

guy in bangor cage:i can`t wait to go home and see my good OH MAH GAWD WTF IS THAT THING DOING WITH A MACHET-(man dies)

shark:just go backwards,just go backwards,just go backwards...

and some classic-ishes:

man:hey,lot`s go tell saidi how awesome chuck norris is!

goldfish:blub.

Wow.
Just....
Wow.
Monsters:
Platty
Bomb-Blaster Swarm (100)
Underworld (Blest, Elysium, & Tartarus)
Minithulu Troop (6: Alfred, Abbs, J, Bob, Todd, & the Doctor)
Bomber
Acroman
King Cobroth
Badgewrath (Wrath)
Prometheoyster (Sorrow)
Monglut (Gluttony)
Corpslumber (Sloth)
Monitoxin & Serpoison (Famine & Pestilence)
Carnalug (Lust)
Lucifer (Pride)
Battalion (War)
Covetitan (Greed)
Grieffon Pack (Death, Swords, Plague, Beasts, & the pups, collectively named Hell)
Irewood (Envy)
Formicaesar Legion (Conquest)
Apollyon (Vainglory)
Blitzlax (Discouragement)
Babylon Rose (Fornication)
The Mass (Khaos)
Uranian Floating Octopus (Ouranos)
Almater (Gaea)
Nemean Antlion (Tartaros)
Bleeding Hato (Eros)
Hadalbender (Erebos)

COMING "SOON":
Juggernaut & Dreadnought
Five doses of ???
Protogenoi
Loves- 3/8 done
Destrux, my origin story

Credits: 5282

EEC: Gazenobra, Northern Kinhound, Fraternaraptor, Chocobornis, Vibrant Minami, Kakapwn

Battle Ratio: 12/0/10
Team Ratio: 0/1/0
Mission Ratio: 3/1
Written: 23

3DS FC: 0061-0480-8311
690/693/721 Dex Completion

Posted Image
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albinoraptor
Member Avatar
5CHAR
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Clockwork,Oct 22 2009
07:29 PM
albinoraptor,Oct 22 2009
05:23 PM
?

more jokes:

what do you get when you give MS a gun that shoots out chuck norris?TOTAL WORLD ANIALATION.

guy in bangor cage:i can`t wait to go home and see my good OH MAH GAWD WTF IS THAT THING DOING WITH A MACHET-(man dies)

shark:just go backwards,just go backwards,just go backwards...

and some classic-ishes:

man:hey,lot`s go tell saidi how awesome chuck norris is!

goldfish:blub.

Wow.
Just....
Wow.

what? :blink:
Creatures: Valen Rex Posted Image, Rabbat, Burrier, Secretary Griffin, Virusaurs, Demonis, Genohunter, Lizarians, Cetus, Snow Snakes, Ouroboros, Yggdrasil, Pyro Wasps, Wraith, Lagervo, Wolfworm, Iridesca, Stagroach, Aspidasaurus, Fulgetus, Mathogo, Noepe

Credits: 7096

Mr.11
 
It's not an obsession if your mom's okay with it.
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Kingpin
Member Avatar
Kronos
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Gotta love Deadpool:

Deadpool: Uhm... a little help? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
[to an inert Cable]
Deadpool: So... what's new?
[Cable doesn't respond]
Deadpool: Yeah, not much by me either.
[Cable doesn't respond]
Deadpool: Been thinking about starting up a super hero porn site, whaddyou think?
[Cable doesn't respond]
Deadpool: Nothin' too rude, I mean. Tasteful naked shots of Sue Richards - when she's visable, right? 'Cos otherwise, duh...
[Cable doesn't respond]
Deadpool: You know, once the larynx goes, the scintillating conversation goes with it...
[Deadpool completely liquifies.]

[Deadpool is completely oblivous to the fact that everyone else's skin colour has turned pink]
Civilian: Mister-- why hasn't you skin changed color?
Deadpool: Somebody call Geraldo! I was just a victim of racial profiling!

The Cat: [While fighting Deadpool] You make for a very formidable opponent, Mr. Wilson. Though for some reason, I seem to be the only one doing the talking. Ah, yes, of course, I ruptured your trachea. How rude of me.

Wolverine: We're having a debriefing. C'mon.
Deadpool: That ain't like we're gonna swap underwear, is is? I mean, no thanks... Unless... Where's Emma Frost...?

Cyclops: We commissioned Deadpool to... obtain... eight components that had survived the destruction of Cable's original orbital base, Graymalkin. These components, though not created to work together, hold the key to stopping Cable's plans. Deadpool, do you have anything to add?
Deadpool: Yeah, where's the telepathic thong chick?
Cyclops: Emma Frost is keeping our conversation shielded from Cable's telepathy.
Deadpool: We can have a conversation in my head. That would have taken care of that.
[Everyone is silent]
Deadpool: Exactly what part did you feebs not understand?
Cyclops: The part after "We."

[Deadpool is going to fight Cable wearing a Marvel Girl costume]
Deadpool: Let's go kick some mutant megalomaniac tushy! Once an X-Man, always an X-Man!
Beast: You're not an X-Man.
Deadpool: Us muties gotta stick together, right? Sometimes literally. I ever tell you 'bout the time I ran into Tar Baby in the sewer system?
Beast: You're not a mutant, either.
Deadpool: What're you looking at? It's not just a fashion statement, it's a strategic advantage. Nate'll be so busy checking out my legs-- and don't think I don't see you over there, Iceman-- that POW! He won't know what hit him!
Cyclops: He'll change his mind, right?
Beast: Give it six seconds, Scott.
Cyclops: That's an eternity right now.

And one of Cable:
Cable: If you try anything like this again, I'll throw you all into the ocean.
Hammer: And what would Jesus say about that?
Cable: He'd suggest inflatable swimmies
Quote:
 
At the beginning there was nothing but Falcon
And he said the emptiness
"Show me your moves."
And so the universe exploded
He saw this and said YES!
He saw this and it was good.
                      -First Punch, Chapter IX
Posted Image

Creatures
Hermagler, Triceramole, Pyrog swarm
Mammoboar, Mantine , Marrow
Rigabamboo, Bastia and Angelwing, Nerospitter
Fiery Harvestblax, Megatooth, Shadowcat
Solkor, Triloferous, Shade
Pararaptor, Condorian, Hippiddler
Chargerfish, Tentaculas, Azoth
Pullusmors, Shroomshi and Sporpli, Derops
Kraken, Zeus/Thunderbird, Biocell
Piscis, Taurus, Leo
Gemini, Aries, Cancer

Halloween, Christmas, JFourth

Fools Pack, Thanksgiving, Valentine
Philhog, NewYear, Easter, Saint
Chungo & Medrith, Abassi
Credits
100640
Quote:
 
Although when Walrus said there was a madscientist within us all I kind of got freaked out. I don't really want a triggerhappy weapons genius living in my stomach...
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Saidilophosaurus
Member Avatar
Chief of Medicine
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walk into a bar.

Barman says "Hey! We don't do jokes here!"

And some Winston Churchill

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison"
Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"

Bessie Braddock to Churchill "Winston, your drunk!"
Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"


And finally, some John Cleese

"Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited."

"I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel, and incompetent comes naturally to me."

"If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking Do you want fries with that?"

"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?"

"When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play, as well." (on the differences between Americans and the English)

"I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires."

"Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies."

"The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip."

"The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack."

"Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers - which is why almost no technology ever works."
I am the King of Putrescine and Sulphur.

Creatures (paid for)
Gurath
Mawworm
Cheetah Beetle
Scampi
Lurkiller
Weevion
Saidilophosaurus
Pyrotitan

Credits
10450

Pipeline
Aerotitan - Flying Skewer/Manta Ray/Elasmosaur omnivore that body checks things, electrical current
Hydrotitan - Great big ragworm with electric field, can suck in smaller things with bladderwort traps, bio-luminescence bursts, makes whirlpools
Chomatitan - Great big starfish thing. Ridiculously heavy, can spray out clouds of dust and salt. Lots of armour and thick blubber, slams arms to shark the earth.
Laser-eye insects
Skarsgar
Redux: Sharguana, Hellhound
Update: Mawworm, Scampi, Cheetah Beetle, Lurkiller, Weevion, Saidilophosaurus to current standards CURRENT STANDARDS OP NERF CURRENT STANDARDS BLIZZ
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
madscientist
Member Avatar
The few, the proud, the Marines
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
ok this is a little dark so if you dont like funny jokes dont read this.








Little Johnny is told to ask his parents about the government. So he goes up to his dad and asks him about it.

"Well, im like the president, mommy is the congress, the maid is the workforce, you're the people and your baby brother is the future."
Johnny is confused but his dad tells him to sleep on it.

So he goes to bed but smells something, he finds his little brother with a diaper full of crap. He goes to his parents bedroom and sees his mom snoring and his dad not there. He goes to the maids room and his dad is making love to the maid.

Then he says, "Oh i get it, the President is screwing the workforce, congress is asleep, no one cares about the people and the future is full of sh**."
I follow Cool.

(-(-(-(--)-)-)-)
they are watching you.

On CW calling me a monster-
Quote:
 
I'm not a monster I'm a BEAST!!!


my animals-
T-Rexodactalconda (TRDC) Pirankey Giganto Galleon and LOTA
credits-6250
wins-5
losses-11
my website-Robo Wars
What TRDC was supposed to look like.
Posted Image
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