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| Jokes!; Everyone needs a laugh... | |
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| Topic Started: Jun 20 2008, 01:43 PM (521 Views) | |
| Saidilophosaurus | Jun 24 2008, 01:51 PM Post #31 |
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Chief of Medicine
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More famous last words Guy in Scampi exhibit My, my those king prawns were good Guy in Killshark tank I don't think this cut on my leg matters much. Guy in Lurkiller exhibit This doesn't look like a plant. |
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I am the King of Putrescine and Sulphur. Creatures (paid for) Gurath Mawworm Cheetah Beetle Scampi Lurkiller Weevion Saidilophosaurus Pyrotitan Credits 10450 Pipeline Aerotitan - Flying Skewer/Manta Ray/Elasmosaur omnivore that body checks things, electrical current Hydrotitan - Great big ragworm with electric field, can suck in smaller things with bladderwort traps, bio-luminescence bursts, makes whirlpools Chomatitan - Great big starfish thing. Ridiculously heavy, can spray out clouds of dust and salt. Lots of armour and thick blubber, slams arms to shark the earth. Laser-eye insects Skarsgar Redux: Sharguana, Hellhound Update: Mawworm, Scampi, Cheetah Beetle, Lurkiller, Weevion, Saidilophosaurus to current standards CURRENT STANDARDS OP NERF CURRENT STANDARDS BLIZZ | |
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| albinoraptor | Sep 26 2009, 10:00 AM Post #32 |
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5CHAR
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more last words: guy in ferret cage:aww,i think its cute! guy in pheonix cage:good thing i have this ice cold water in my lunchbox,it`s like 900 degrees in here! guy in burrier cage:OH MY GOD A GIANT MOLE!!! guy in walrus`s office:i could use some cofee.... |
Creatures: Valen Rex , Rabbat, Burrier, Secretary Griffin, Virusaurs, Demonis, Genohunter, Lizarians, Cetus, Snow Snakes, Ouroboros, Yggdrasil, Pyro Wasps, Wraith, Lagervo, Wolfworm, Iridesca, Stagroach, Aspidasaurus, Fulgetus, Mathogo, NoepeCredits: 7096
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| Deathstroke | Oct 19 2009, 02:11 PM Post #33 |
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Kraken
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PWND!!! How are a plum and a rabbit alike? They're both purple, except for the rabbit. |
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My monsters Ammit Credits 1200 Wins: 1 Ties: 0 Losses: 1 You better watch out. You better run now. 'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW! Ammit is coming to town! She'll rip your arms & legs off She'll have your heart for dessert She'll slurp your blood up like a drink But hey, it couldn't hurt! You better watch out You better run now. 'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW! Ammit is coming to town! She sees you when you're walking She sees you when you're in pain She looms over your carcass Whether in sunshine or in rain! You better watch out You better run now. 'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW! Ammit is coming to town! My site. it could really use some members http://z3.invisionfree.com/Genetic_Game_Corner/index.php Come to this one too. http://z6.invisionfree.com/Beast_Wars_Ultr...dex.php?act=idx It's also mine. 98% of all teenagers have statistics in their signatures. If you`re one of the 2% who don`t, copy and paste this into you signature so you don`t look like such a freak. | |
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| Kingpin | Oct 19 2009, 04:43 PM Post #34 |
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Kronos
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FAIL. Man 1: You should think about joining the army. Man 2: Not for me, man. Man 1: Why not? It's just like an first person shooter, but without the respawn points. |
![]() Creatures Hermagler, Triceramole, Pyrog swarm Mammoboar, Mantine , Marrow Rigabamboo, Bastia and Angelwing, Nerospitter Fiery Harvestblax, Megatooth, Shadowcat Solkor, Triloferous, Shade Pararaptor, Condorian, Hippiddler Chargerfish, Tentaculas, Azoth Pullusmors, Shroomshi and Sporpli, Derops Kraken, Zeus/Thunderbird, Biocell Piscis, Taurus, Leo Gemini, Aries, Cancer Halloween, Christmas, JFourth Fools Pack, Thanksgiving, Valentine Philhog, NewYear, Easter, Saint Chungo & Medrith, Abassi Credits 100640
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| Clockwork | Oct 19 2009, 05:02 PM Post #35 |
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DEUS VULT
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A blonde, a brunnete, & a red head walk into a bar. In the bar is a magic mirror. If you tell the mirror a lie, you'll get sucked in. The red head says "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." & got sucked in. The brunnete said "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." & got sucked in. The blonde says "I think..." & got sucked in. |
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Monsters: Platty Bomb-Blaster Swarm (100) Underworld (Blest, Elysium, & Tartarus) Minithulu Troop (6: Alfred, Abbs, J, Bob, Todd, & the Doctor) Bomber Acroman King Cobroth Badgewrath (Wrath) Prometheoyster (Sorrow) Monglut (Gluttony) Corpslumber (Sloth) Monitoxin & Serpoison (Famine & Pestilence) Carnalug (Lust) Lucifer (Pride) Battalion (War) Covetitan (Greed) Grieffon Pack (Death, Swords, Plague, Beasts, & the pups, collectively named Hell) Irewood (Envy) Formicaesar Legion (Conquest) Apollyon (Vainglory) Blitzlax (Discouragement) Babylon Rose (Fornication) The Mass (Khaos) Uranian Floating Octopus (Ouranos) Almater (Gaea) Nemean Antlion (Tartaros) Bleeding Hato (Eros) Hadalbender (Erebos) COMING "SOON": Juggernaut & Dreadnought Five doses of ??? Protogenoi Loves- 3/8 done Destrux, my origin story Credits: 5282 EEC: Gazenobra, Northern Kinhound, Fraternaraptor, Chocobornis, Vibrant Minami, Kakapwn Battle Ratio: 12/0/10 Team Ratio: 0/1/0 Mission Ratio: 3/1 Written: 23 3DS FC: 0061-0480-8311 690/693/721 Dex Completion
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| Deathstroke | Oct 19 2009, 07:18 PM Post #36 |
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Kraken
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It's an anti-joke. |
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My monsters Ammit Credits 1200 Wins: 1 Ties: 0 Losses: 1 You better watch out. You better run now. 'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW! Ammit is coming to town! She'll rip your arms & legs off She'll have your heart for dessert She'll slurp your blood up like a drink But hey, it couldn't hurt! You better watch out You better run now. 'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW! Ammit is coming to town! She sees you when you're walking She sees you when you're in pain She looms over your carcass Whether in sunshine or in rain! You better watch out You better run now. 'Cause here comes a girl with lots of POW! Ammit is coming to town! My site. it could really use some members http://z3.invisionfree.com/Genetic_Game_Corner/index.php Come to this one too. http://z6.invisionfree.com/Beast_Wars_Ultr...dex.php?act=idx It's also mine. 98% of all teenagers have statistics in their signatures. If you`re one of the 2% who don`t, copy and paste this into you signature so you don`t look like such a freak. | |
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| albinoraptor | Oct 20 2009, 03:22 PM Post #37 |
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5CHAR
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yet more last words: guy at my birthday party:yum,that cake looks good.i can`t wait to eat a piece. spinymus:hey looks,cakes!i think i`ll get fat and heavy eating those! |
Creatures: Valen Rex , Rabbat, Burrier, Secretary Griffin, Virusaurs, Demonis, Genohunter, Lizarians, Cetus, Snow Snakes, Ouroboros, Yggdrasil, Pyro Wasps, Wraith, Lagervo, Wolfworm, Iridesca, Stagroach, Aspidasaurus, Fulgetus, Mathogo, NoepeCredits: 7096
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| Kingpin | Oct 20 2009, 05:40 PM Post #38 |
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Kronos
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Still... |
![]() Creatures Hermagler, Triceramole, Pyrog swarm Mammoboar, Mantine , Marrow Rigabamboo, Bastia and Angelwing, Nerospitter Fiery Harvestblax, Megatooth, Shadowcat Solkor, Triloferous, Shade Pararaptor, Condorian, Hippiddler Chargerfish, Tentaculas, Azoth Pullusmors, Shroomshi and Sporpli, Derops Kraken, Zeus/Thunderbird, Biocell Piscis, Taurus, Leo Gemini, Aries, Cancer Halloween, Christmas, JFourth Fools Pack, Thanksgiving, Valentine Philhog, NewYear, Easter, Saint Chungo & Medrith, Abassi Credits 100640
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| Clockwork | Oct 22 2009, 07:15 PM Post #39 |
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DEUS VULT
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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin & toss it right back. |
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Monsters: Platty Bomb-Blaster Swarm (100) Underworld (Blest, Elysium, & Tartarus) Minithulu Troop (6: Alfred, Abbs, J, Bob, Todd, & the Doctor) Bomber Acroman King Cobroth Badgewrath (Wrath) Prometheoyster (Sorrow) Monglut (Gluttony) Corpslumber (Sloth) Monitoxin & Serpoison (Famine & Pestilence) Carnalug (Lust) Lucifer (Pride) Battalion (War) Covetitan (Greed) Grieffon Pack (Death, Swords, Plague, Beasts, & the pups, collectively named Hell) Irewood (Envy) Formicaesar Legion (Conquest) Apollyon (Vainglory) Blitzlax (Discouragement) Babylon Rose (Fornication) The Mass (Khaos) Uranian Floating Octopus (Ouranos) Almater (Gaea) Nemean Antlion (Tartaros) Bleeding Hato (Eros) Hadalbender (Erebos) COMING "SOON": Juggernaut & Dreadnought Five doses of ??? Protogenoi Loves- 3/8 done Destrux, my origin story Credits: 5282 EEC: Gazenobra, Northern Kinhound, Fraternaraptor, Chocobornis, Vibrant Minami, Kakapwn Battle Ratio: 12/0/10 Team Ratio: 0/1/0 Mission Ratio: 3/1 Written: 23 3DS FC: 0061-0480-8311 690/693/721 Dex Completion
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| albinoraptor | Oct 22 2009, 07:23 PM Post #40 |
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5CHAR
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? more jokes: what do you get when you give MS a gun that shoots out chuck norris?TOTAL WORLD ANIALATION. guy in bangor cage:i can`t wait to go home and see my good OH MAH GAWD WTF IS THAT THING DOING WITH A MACHET-(man dies) shark:just go backwards,just go backwards,just go backwards... and some classic-ishes: man:hey,lot`s go tell saidi how awesome chuck norris is! goldfish:blub. |
Creatures: Valen Rex , Rabbat, Burrier, Secretary Griffin, Virusaurs, Demonis, Genohunter, Lizarians, Cetus, Snow Snakes, Ouroboros, Yggdrasil, Pyro Wasps, Wraith, Lagervo, Wolfworm, Iridesca, Stagroach, Aspidasaurus, Fulgetus, Mathogo, NoepeCredits: 7096
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| Clockwork | Oct 22 2009, 07:29 PM Post #41 |
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DEUS VULT
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Wow. Just.... Wow. |
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Monsters: Platty Bomb-Blaster Swarm (100) Underworld (Blest, Elysium, & Tartarus) Minithulu Troop (6: Alfred, Abbs, J, Bob, Todd, & the Doctor) Bomber Acroman King Cobroth Badgewrath (Wrath) Prometheoyster (Sorrow) Monglut (Gluttony) Corpslumber (Sloth) Monitoxin & Serpoison (Famine & Pestilence) Carnalug (Lust) Lucifer (Pride) Battalion (War) Covetitan (Greed) Grieffon Pack (Death, Swords, Plague, Beasts, & the pups, collectively named Hell) Irewood (Envy) Formicaesar Legion (Conquest) Apollyon (Vainglory) Blitzlax (Discouragement) Babylon Rose (Fornication) The Mass (Khaos) Uranian Floating Octopus (Ouranos) Almater (Gaea) Nemean Antlion (Tartaros) Bleeding Hato (Eros) Hadalbender (Erebos) COMING "SOON": Juggernaut & Dreadnought Five doses of ??? Protogenoi Loves- 3/8 done Destrux, my origin story Credits: 5282 EEC: Gazenobra, Northern Kinhound, Fraternaraptor, Chocobornis, Vibrant Minami, Kakapwn Battle Ratio: 12/0/10 Team Ratio: 0/1/0 Mission Ratio: 3/1 Written: 23 3DS FC: 0061-0480-8311 690/693/721 Dex Completion
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| albinoraptor | Oct 23 2009, 06:57 AM Post #42 |
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5CHAR
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what?
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Creatures: Valen Rex , Rabbat, Burrier, Secretary Griffin, Virusaurs, Demonis, Genohunter, Lizarians, Cetus, Snow Snakes, Ouroboros, Yggdrasil, Pyro Wasps, Wraith, Lagervo, Wolfworm, Iridesca, Stagroach, Aspidasaurus, Fulgetus, Mathogo, NoepeCredits: 7096
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| Kingpin | Oct 24 2009, 12:23 AM Post #43 |
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Kronos
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Gotta love Deadpool: Deadpool: Uhm... a little help? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? [to an inert Cable] Deadpool: So... what's new? [Cable doesn't respond] Deadpool: Yeah, not much by me either. [Cable doesn't respond] Deadpool: Been thinking about starting up a super hero porn site, whaddyou think? [Cable doesn't respond] Deadpool: Nothin' too rude, I mean. Tasteful naked shots of Sue Richards - when she's visable, right? 'Cos otherwise, duh... [Cable doesn't respond] Deadpool: You know, once the larynx goes, the scintillating conversation goes with it... [Deadpool completely liquifies.] [Deadpool is completely oblivous to the fact that everyone else's skin colour has turned pink] Civilian: Mister-- why hasn't you skin changed color? Deadpool: Somebody call Geraldo! I was just a victim of racial profiling! The Cat: [While fighting Deadpool] You make for a very formidable opponent, Mr. Wilson. Though for some reason, I seem to be the only one doing the talking. Ah, yes, of course, I ruptured your trachea. How rude of me. Wolverine: We're having a debriefing. C'mon. Deadpool: That ain't like we're gonna swap underwear, is is? I mean, no thanks... Unless... Where's Emma Frost...? Cyclops: We commissioned Deadpool to... obtain... eight components that had survived the destruction of Cable's original orbital base, Graymalkin. These components, though not created to work together, hold the key to stopping Cable's plans. Deadpool, do you have anything to add? Deadpool: Yeah, where's the telepathic thong chick? Cyclops: Emma Frost is keeping our conversation shielded from Cable's telepathy. Deadpool: We can have a conversation in my head. That would have taken care of that. [Everyone is silent] Deadpool: Exactly what part did you feebs not understand? Cyclops: The part after "We." [Deadpool is going to fight Cable wearing a Marvel Girl costume] Deadpool: Let's go kick some mutant megalomaniac tushy! Once an X-Man, always an X-Man! Beast: You're not an X-Man. Deadpool: Us muties gotta stick together, right? Sometimes literally. I ever tell you 'bout the time I ran into Tar Baby in the sewer system? Beast: You're not a mutant, either. Deadpool: What're you looking at? It's not just a fashion statement, it's a strategic advantage. Nate'll be so busy checking out my legs-- and don't think I don't see you over there, Iceman-- that POW! He won't know what hit him! Cyclops: He'll change his mind, right? Beast: Give it six seconds, Scott. Cyclops: That's an eternity right now. And one of Cable: Cable: If you try anything like this again, I'll throw you all into the ocean. Hammer: And what would Jesus say about that? Cable: He'd suggest inflatable swimmies |
![]() Creatures Hermagler, Triceramole, Pyrog swarm Mammoboar, Mantine , Marrow Rigabamboo, Bastia and Angelwing, Nerospitter Fiery Harvestblax, Megatooth, Shadowcat Solkor, Triloferous, Shade Pararaptor, Condorian, Hippiddler Chargerfish, Tentaculas, Azoth Pullusmors, Shroomshi and Sporpli, Derops Kraken, Zeus/Thunderbird, Biocell Piscis, Taurus, Leo Gemini, Aries, Cancer Halloween, Christmas, JFourth Fools Pack, Thanksgiving, Valentine Philhog, NewYear, Easter, Saint Chungo & Medrith, Abassi Credits 100640
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| Saidilophosaurus | Oct 24 2009, 12:34 PM Post #44 |
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Chief of Medicine
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An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walk into a bar. Barman says "Hey! We don't do jokes here!" And some Winston Churchill A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison" Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it" Bessie Braddock to Churchill "Winston, your drunk!" Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober" And finally, some John Cleese "Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited." "I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel, and incompetent comes naturally to me." "If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking Do you want fries with that?" "If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" "When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play, as well." (on the differences between Americans and the English) "I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires." "Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies." "The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip." "The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack." "Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers - which is why almost no technology ever works." |
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I am the King of Putrescine and Sulphur. Creatures (paid for) Gurath Mawworm Cheetah Beetle Scampi Lurkiller Weevion Saidilophosaurus Pyrotitan Credits 10450 Pipeline Aerotitan - Flying Skewer/Manta Ray/Elasmosaur omnivore that body checks things, electrical current Hydrotitan - Great big ragworm with electric field, can suck in smaller things with bladderwort traps, bio-luminescence bursts, makes whirlpools Chomatitan - Great big starfish thing. Ridiculously heavy, can spray out clouds of dust and salt. Lots of armour and thick blubber, slams arms to shark the earth. Laser-eye insects Skarsgar Redux: Sharguana, Hellhound Update: Mawworm, Scampi, Cheetah Beetle, Lurkiller, Weevion, Saidilophosaurus to current standards CURRENT STANDARDS OP NERF CURRENT STANDARDS BLIZZ | |
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| madscientist | Oct 24 2009, 01:33 PM Post #45 |
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The few, the proud, the Marines
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ok this is a little dark so if you dont like funny jokes dont read this. Little Johnny is told to ask his parents about the government. So he goes up to his dad and asks him about it. "Well, im like the president, mommy is the congress, the maid is the workforce, you're the people and your baby brother is the future." Johnny is confused but his dad tells him to sleep on it. So he goes to bed but smells something, he finds his little brother with a diaper full of crap. He goes to his parents bedroom and sees his mom snoring and his dad not there. He goes to the maids room and his dad is making love to the maid. Then he says, "Oh i get it, the President is screwing the workforce, congress is asleep, no one cares about the people and the future is full of sh**." |
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I follow Cool. (-(-(-(--)-)-)-) they are watching you. On CW calling me a monster-
my animals- T-Rexodactalconda (TRDC) Pirankey Giganto Galleon and LOTA credits-6250 wins-5 losses-11 my website-Robo Wars What TRDC was supposed to look like.
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, Rabbat, Burrier, Secretary Griffin, Virusaurs, Demonis, Genohunter, Lizarians, Cetus, Snow Snakes, Ouroboros, Yggdrasil, Pyro Wasps, Wraith, Lagervo, Wolfworm, Iridesca, Stagroach, Aspidasaurus, Fulgetus, Mathogo, Noepe


1:56 PM Jul 11