| In Need of Advice | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 1 2005, 10:21 PM (87 Views) | |
| Nymphadora Tonks | Apr 1 2005, 10:21 PM Post #1 |
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2nd Year
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Alright, I wasn't sure where to post this if at all, so please forgive me if this is wrong or if it violates any of the rules set forth by the administrators. Just to give you a bit of background on my situation, I'm 14 and a high school freshman. My mother is sort of the dictator of the house and my father is rather passive. He'll usually disagree with my mother when it comes to punishing me, but in the end he'll give in to her original idea. My mother doesn't trust me at all, but I've sort of had free reign for the past few years. Now, my situation: Well, I was on the phone with this guy the other day because my cell battery was dead and apparently, my mom listened to a segment of the conversation, and not the best bit for her to hear. What she heard was along the lines of this: Guy: Alright, so I'll pick you up Saturday night at 8:00? Me: How're we going to get there? Guy: My parents are letting me take the car. Me: Alright! She then hung up, so she seems to have the idea that I'm sleeping with him. Just for the reference, the conversation was actually because he's giving me a ride to a service squad meet that both of us are supposed to go to since I'd rather not take the subway at night and, well, why bother with the bus and such if he can drive me? Anyway, now my mom is sort of interrogating me every time I walk into a room, thinks I'm also using drugs (I'm not) and a lot of other stuff. She's been spying on me since she heard the phone segment and won't believe me when I try to explain. Every time I walk out of the house, she starts embarressing me in front of my friends and asking exactly where I'm going and not even bothering to be discreet if I'm hanging out with some guys, just telling me flat out not to...well...you get the idea. Any advice on what I could do to rectify the situation? By the way, she's had issues trusting me for a while, just didn't have any grounds to accuse me. She's thought I'm a druggie for a while now because I'm "another one of those teenage punks" in her words. |
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| Samantha_Malfoy | Apr 1 2005, 11:11 PM Post #2 |
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Graduated
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Well, I think, uh-oh- never a good idea.....You could either let it blow over, which it will eventually, or like...leave clues around your house of where you'll be, and if you mom's the snoop-y type like mine, she might just follow you, let her see you guys doing whatever you usually do(if it isn't something she'll misinterpret)...Or you could write a note to her or something, i tend to write alot to my parents when they refuse ot listen to my side of a story, it works for me...However you end up solving this, good luck to ya'.I just turned 14 so I'm sure I'll be facing something similar to this soon with the way my parents are. |
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| Fang | Apr 1 2005, 11:40 PM Post #3 |
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5th Year
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Hey Tonks sorry to hear about that and I know that parents are sometimes able to over exaggerate. My mom does it all the time but I'm more surprised by the fact that your mom was on the phone because thats just an invasion of privacy, you should be bring that up with her first. As for the drugs thing you should really talk to your mom because you don't want to have to her thinking your doing something wrong when you're out. Well thats the best advice that I can give you so stay strong and I hope that you still get to go with your friend. :D |
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| Arithmancy Girl | Apr 2 2005, 11:58 AM Post #4 |
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DA/S.A.P.E.W.
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I have found that the more you talk to your parents and about issues and where you stand as well as listening to where they stand, develops a good line of trust. If they know how you feel about something and you are willing to tell them things, not everything just some of the important stuff, it helps out a lot. As far as them not talking to you I have no idea what to say, my parents always try to talk when something is wrong. I don't understand it when people go around saying " you punk teenagers " when they were there once too. Parents can give good advice, but they have to be willing to fix the situation just as you are or else it won't work. Maybe try sitting down and explaining how they make you feel and tell them you don't want a confrontation just a solution that you are all able to agree on. That's the best I can do for now, I hope all goes well. |
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| bookworm92 | Apr 2 2005, 02:47 PM Post #5 |
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S.A.P.E.W./RA
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Wow...I have no idea what to say, but that sounds real tough and I hope things start to work out better soon. |
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| Searsha | Aug 2 2005, 06:47 PM Post #6 |
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Unregistered
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Being older here..I'd like to help......I never had that problem with my mom....but I think that her listening to your phone call was wrong..and I think you should talk to your mom..heart to heart....tell her you need to talk things out about wanting her to trust you more.....tell her that you are not into drugs..tell her that you will tell her where she is going at all times and if she needs to get a hold of you ..you have a cell phone...ask her what she wants of you so that she can start to trust you more..and you know....just be upfront with her on everything....about boys..tell her about your dates how they went..you know..just keep her in touch and then maybe she'll see that you arent sneaking around and doing stuff....maybe draw up a list of what you expect and then have her do one and then you both look at them together and decide on somethingyou both agree to and stick to it.....I dont know..does that make any sense..but communication is the best thing...always works...keep them in touch with your life....makes them feel like they are still in your life....help any? |
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| Alastair | Aug 3 2005, 08:05 AM Post #7 |
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Unregistered
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yea i got that too you either run away (my option) or you talk it over when this happened to me i was stupid enouugh yo run away lol i came back home in the police and out of uni lol i would advise you not to do what i did! |
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8:54 AM Jul 11