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| Kez's Rants: Buses | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 8 2009, 03:02 PM (45 Views) | |
| Kez | Mar 8 2009, 03:02 PM Post #1 |
Iacon's Critic
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You know what's gay? Buses. Buses are faggots. There's 2 ways to pay for a bus. You can either let them suck you dry each day at a slow rate, or you can give in now and buy a pass for fucking hundreds of quids. Either way, they suck dick. But the prices aren't even the main problem. There's so many little things that are annoying about buses that aren't even FIRST's fault. Girl comes into Maths on Friday, tells us that her iPod has either been robbed or fallen onto a seat on the bus. So she gets off and then realises she can't find her iPod. She knocks on the door to get back on, but what does the bastard bus driver do? Drives off. Cunt. And they do that shit all the time. If you're not exactly by the bus stop when he drives past, he fucking carries on. I was waiting for a bus a few weeks back, and as i got on this lad came out of his house opposite the stop and ran to the bus. He was literally knocking on the door for, i'd say, about 5 seconds..and then the bus driver just drove off! I've said it before, i reckon they just do it to make their job have at least some entertainment in it. Then there's the old people. I'm not ageist but really, they're too fucking annoying when it comes to buses. Dom told us a story of a guy not long ago who kept pressing the stop button every stop before standing up and announcing "i'm not getting off here, carry on". A girl fell over off a seat on the bus the other day. Her mate was laughing, obviously, but that isn't the point. There's 2 old people sitting opposite, a man and a woman. The man has this fucking vacant stare that would terrify even the most hardcore horror fan, and the woman's just the typical old lady. So, as they always do, she takes this as her indication to join in their conversation, beginning with "ooh are y'alright duck". She then spent the next like 10 minutes talking to this girl and chastising her mate for laughing, but to be honest who wouldn't laugh if your mate fell off the fucking bus seat? Also, why can't they seem to read? I accept you may not have your readers on you, but i think the huge "22 - BLURTON" should be enough indication of where the fucking bus goes. Instead they feel the need to hold up the bus as he's about to pull out, totter on, ask where it's going and then decide "oh no duck, wrong one" and walk back off. Then there's the ones who fucking whistle. Oh my God. Seriously, we need to e-mail Apple to get them to send out free iPods to old people, so that they won't feel the need to work as a pair of speakers and whistle all the fucking way to their stop. Maybe if you load it up with Tiny Tim they'll shut the fuck up, although i doubt it as when old people stop whistling i'll be looking for the four horsemen. And then of course you have all the chavs that get buses, and their seemingly compulsive desire to dominate the back seats. I was once walking through Hanley and i saw the bus stop, and then suddenly the emergency exit opens and five or 6 chavs jump off the bus and run off. Now that's just fuckin stupid. It's their money they're wasting. Besides, i saw them get on another bus like 5 minutes later, and i doubt these upstanding citizens have bus passes. Like old people, i think chavs also need to learn what an iPod is, or at least what earphones are. I'm sick of hearing tinny renditions of "Day N Nite" from the back of the bus blasting from their mobiles every time i need to go home. Not to mention all the beggers by the bus station, asking if you have 40p to spare for the bus. Mate, the illusion might work better if you weren't clutching a can of cheap lager in your hand while you were talking to me. This is all without mentioning the weird people that get on buses. Me, Lucy and Dom once got on and this guy was sat at the back. He asked me to hold his coffee and then, to our surprise, pulls out a bag of white powder. He then proceeded to probe us the whole way home, asking where we lived etc. Dom actually told him exactly where he lived, but i gave him a fake address. His phone went ringing halfway through and he picked it up, and said "hiya darling" as though talking to a child (he said it was his daughter). Sorry, but after i've just seen you sniff cocaine, i don't care if you have 200 daughters, i still don't fancy telling you where i live. |
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| King Crimson | Mar 8 2009, 03:16 PM Post #2 |
Advanced Member
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 Creepy....My mum ahd a right go at this bus driver once and he was a bastard. Actually that happened various times. My personal favourite was almost being trapped in Chester overnight... |
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| Kez | Mar 8 2009, 03:19 PM Post #3 |
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Iacon's Critic
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Lol a woman got on once cause the buses were late and she was like "why are you late", then when she bought the ticket she walked to the back of the bus shouting "you're wank!" I was pissin myself |
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| King Crimson | Mar 8 2009, 03:37 PM Post #4 |
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Advanced Member
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 Haahahaha!If you want weird people on buses, Hanford is like a safari! From old ladies with bright read hair colouring to fat guys that pant like bulldogs, they got it! |
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| Barky | Mar 9 2009, 08:25 PM Post #5 |
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Advanced Member
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When you said that buses suck dick, i actually imagined a bus sucking a dick. I need help, don't I? Edited by Barky, Mar 9 2009, 08:25 PM.
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| Kez | Mar 9 2009, 10:29 PM Post #6 |
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Iacon's Critic
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Yeah, you really do |
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| Loz | Mar 10 2009, 06:30 PM Post #7 |
Advanced Member
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Not just for that comment. |
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| King Crimson | Mar 11 2009, 03:23 PM Post #8 |
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Advanced Member
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Maybe it was just a horny Autobot? |
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