Well, that sucked.... Doctor Who Sinks Even Lower...

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Well, that sucked.... Doctor Who Sinks Even Lower...
Topic Started: Apr 12 2009, 04:27 PM (25 Views)
King Crimson	Apr 12 2009, 04:27 PM Post #1
Advanced Member Posts: 317 Group: Admin Member #10 Joined: February 27, 2009	Doctor Who was so mind-blowingly shite I'm amazed even RTD would allow it to be broadcast. The cast was bad, the story was bad and anything remotely interesting had been ripped off fairly obvious sources. To start with, the companion. You kinow what, I'm going to have to reconsider my claim that that Martha person (or in the old series, Bonny Langford) was the worst one to date, because at least she was in some way original. Not the one this Easter though. Think of Eastenders. Think of Tomb Raider. Think of Doctor Who. Do they go together? No, they fucking don't, do they. So why, in the name of God why, have an "actress" from Eastenders, playing a poorly stolen Lara Croft, in Doctor Who? She was the most boring, static and to be honest retarded character ever to grace BBC 1's saturday slot (barring, perhaps, the abomination that is Robin Hood), and worst stil she, like the last three companions, ends up getting the hots for David Tennant. I mean, for fuck sake! This time the lines involved were even worse than before, ditching even the sacharine bull RTD normally writes for quotes straight out of Hollyoaks! Speaking of crappy lines, the things are plastered all over this like the gay sex phone number ads scrawled all over Russel T. Davies' local public toilets. Seriously, the amount of "I can feel it coming" kind of dialogue you'd think you were listening to a Phil Collins album! A psychic woman on board the bus? Very good, but maybe we could do without the quasi-cosmic tension builders (which, by the way, have as much tension as broken elastic) scattered around at every oppotunity! And can someone please shut Tennant up when he's about to start one of his "You'll all survive because you're good and have pork chops at home, blah, blah, etc." speaches, because they really are bloody godawful. Not to mention his shouting.... Next up, the monsters, touted by the BBC to be as "memorable as the Daleks"! Were they? The irony is I can barely remember them, let alone their name or origin. The fly things were just rip-offs of, well, The Fly, and had as much stage presence as a Bernard Matthews' Chicken Dipper thats been shat on by a damn chihaua. As for the stingray things, other than angering some few dozen Australians (around half of their population?), they were the crappiest things ever. If anyone has ever seen the Steven King film adaptation of The Langoliers, then well done, because so has Russell. They didn't frigging do anything! Three got through the portal thing and got arse-whomped in seconds! And hey, if you're ripping Steven King off, you may as well hit on a few more sci-fi classics whilst you're there! Either Frank Herbert's Dune or George Lucas' Star Wars got raped for the location (I mean why not scrap the stingrays and just nick off with the sand-worms?), and all sorts of crime, thriller and drama movies but fuggerized for the sake of a fat, camp plageriser. Not to mention, in fact, last yers Doctor Who episode in which the Doctor's travel holiday on some shuttle thing got took over by a possesive, unseen menace. That episode had moral discussion, clever shooting and an actual narrative. The Easter Special? And weren't the supporting cast lovely? We had Token Scared Middle Aged Mother, Token Young Guy With Nothing To Say, Token Young Black Guy With Nothing To Say, Token Old Married Couple (who, to make sure no one ever accused Russel of one-sided nationality like in Series One, were also black), and of course my personal favourite, Token Female Military Commander With A Gung-Ho Attitude Who Turns Out Alright In The End Who Has A Hurrah-We're-British Sort of Thing Going On (oh, and she's black)! Need I even go on.... Oh, I almost forgot, Lee Evans as a goofy scientist with as much depth and audience appeal as a jizz filled donut that got ran over by a 90's Skoda. Good god.... Last and quite possibly least is the sheer stupidity of the floating bus thing (Harry Potter, anyone? No, Russel, he's under age!) and the even stupider music accompanying it. The way Murray Gold's music, so banal and downright overused that it actually makes RTD's script seem worse and more childish, is just thrown in anywhere the edit-team thinks needs stuffing, is, lets be honest, just shoddy. I don't care if it's a "kid's show" or if the science is allowed to be bad, the point is that it normally over-rules that by getting the audience to put aside such useless things as everyday SATs level Physics and just enjoy the show. In a turgid, motionless situation like yesterday's I'm less tempted to suspend belief that to suspend myself. From a rope. From a tree. Dead.



Thyunda	Apr 12 2009, 10:51 PM Post #2
Administrator Posts: 711 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: April 20, 2008	Wow. Don't cry.



King Crimson	Apr 13 2009, 09:16 AM Post #3
Advanced Member Posts: 317 Group: Admin Member #10 Joined: February 27, 2009	You know, Con, I was only fucking joking. It wasn't so bad as to make me want to kill myself..... No, I'm reserving that for when that Matt Smith guy pops up....



Thyunda	Apr 13 2009, 09:47 AM Post #4
Administrator Posts: 711 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: April 20, 2008	You know, your sense of humour is going to kill me one day. I can't ever tell when you're joking. And I see you're not looking forward to him either. I don't like the look of him. Nobody seems to agree, but to me he looks like a cross between Sean Maher and Robert Pattinson. :/



King Crimson	Apr 13 2009, 05:05 PM Post #5
Advanced Member Posts: 317 Group: Admin Member #10 Joined: February 27, 2009	Matt Smith, the only emo who has to buy thirteen razors just to kill himself.... "I just want to die. Arghhhh! At last, an end to my misery! Shit! God damn my regenerative reflex!" I suppose he could always go over to that new hospital Davros has opened in Sweden....


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