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| Pessach Headaches; Humor from my friend Postman | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 3 2006, 09:39 AM (80 Views) | |
| happyduck1979 | Feb 3 2006, 09:39 AM Post #1 |
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Bala Buste
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Did you ever wonder why the thought of Pesach cleaning gives you a headache? Read more, for the real answer. The Egyptians had extensive medical knowledge for their time. Apparently all that knowledge led to a radical new treatment for those who suffered from a severe headache. Since Advil, Aspirin and Tylenol had not been trademarked yet the Egyptians devised a much more sophisticated cure for a headache: they would drill a hole in the head of the headache sufferer to release pressure from the cranium. Conspiracy theories abound as to why accurate information was being withheld from the public regarding the above-named pharmaceuticals. Conventional wisdom has it that the Bush administration lied about its existence in order to force a war with the Egyptians. Within three years, this war led to the breakout of democracy and free elections all over Ancient Mesopotamia, and the swearing in of a new leader in Egypt: President Lincoln, known by the nom-de-guerre al-Abbe. In a dream one night al-Abbe had a vision of seven skinny cows beating up seven fat cows. This vision caused him much consternation. There were also other causes of anxiety, such as unconfirmed but widespread reports of the appearance of large creatures, as well as frogs, pestilence, wild animals and lice, all over the country. Global cooling, heretofore thought of as just another crackpot theory of the lunatic left used to justify an increase in the size of government bureaucracy, was suddenly proven true after a bizarre seven days of absolute darkness engulfed the region, as well as the sudden change of the color of the Nile to a deep red. Learning his lesson from the captain on Yonah’s boat, al-Abbe determined that the solution to his country’s problem was to blame the Jews, and as retribution he chased them out at the stroke of midnight one fateful evening. Having no one left in the country to blame for its poor economic performance, al-Abbe then changed his mind and chased the Jews to the shores of the Dead Sea in order to bring them back. A freakish hurricane, Hurricane Katrinim, hit at that exact moment. The cause of the hurricane was later determined to be global warming, hastened in large part by the Bush Administration’s desire to drill in ANWAR and the fact that they pulled out of the Kyoto Accords some years prior. The levees surrounding the Nile, placed there to prevent overflow during extreme weather, were sabotaged, as was meticulously documented in a book by famous author and Nation of Egypt leader Loser Farkaktakan, which caused all the Egyptians to drown. The Jews were now free to roam the desert for forty years, to listen to a voice emanating from a small mountain, to consider as law some etchings on a small tablet of stone, and to watch a really hokey movie reenactment of all these events starring Charlton Heston. This, by the way, is also why, once a year, we clean our electric sockets with toothpicks, pay $15 for a single pound of a over-baked, tasteless, flat, round cracker made of flour and water, burn our innards eating raw horseradish, and for eight days we eschew all flavorful food and subsist on potatoes. And now you know the real connection between Pesach and the headache you now have. |
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| FlowerGirl | Feb 3 2006, 10:21 AM Post #2 |
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Rebbetzin
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:ha :<!--emo&LOL:-->Posted Image<!--endemo--> |
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| aaa | Feb 8 2006, 08:33 AM Post #3 |
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queen
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How many times must I tell you not to make me laugh when I am drinking my morning coffee? :<!--emo&LOL:-->Posted Image<!--endemo--> |
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2:37 PM Jul 11