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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 22 2006, 06:26 PM (1,116 Views) | |
| zuncompany | Apr 26 2006, 08:43 PM Post #91 |
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I think it makes a heck of a difference how supportive your husband is! Just having him cheer me on or even bring the baby to me or a glass of water while nursing made such a difference. Heck, when I went on TED he insisted I make only one dinner. It can really make or break a person. |
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| FlowerGirl | Apr 26 2006, 08:50 PM Post #92 |
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Rebbetzin
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I must add that pumps never worked for me either. My body did not respond to them well. I also gave 'occasional' bottles (especially if I went away as I wasn't able to pump w/ dds at all - they emptied me out to the last drop every time!!) B'H, I nursed dd1 for over 2 yrs, and dd2 isn't planning to stop yet. However, everything Chavelamomela wrote applies untill the nursing relationship is established (latch, supply, etc). Also, imho, (depending on the baby, if the mother needs a break or get back to work) after 6 months it is fine to sub a feeding or two w/ formula if otherwise nursing is going well - if the mother needs to go out and can't pump. I also have to share with you something that happened to a friend. She was gradually loosing her milk supply b/c of pumping (w/ imporper pump) and didn't realise that the kid is hungry. 1st kid. She relied on the babysitter to tell her and the babysitter assumed that the mother knows what she does. Anither friend got thrush on one of her brests every time she nursed. After pumping through several thrushes she had enough and it was a bottle from then on. It's not so simple and straight forward. |
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| DesignMommy | Apr 27 2006, 06:06 AM Post #93 |
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princess
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Barbi, Absolutely everything you write seems to be consistent with severe reflux. My 9 month old has it, and the first 5 months of his life he screamed almost 24 hours a day, couldn't sleep on his back ever and wanted to nurse all day long, b/c his tummy hurt so badly. I thought it was just colic, but finally took him to a pediatric GI who put him on Prevacid, and it was literally night and day the difference it made. I also have a friend whose baby is the same age as my Yaakov and also has severe reflux, and he is enormous for his age (24 lbs at 9 months) and the Drs actually say that some babies with severe reflux tend to be the ones who grow super quickly, b/c the only thing that calms their tummies is to constantly eat. My friend can't nurse b/c it makes her postpartum depression worse, and has him on soy formula. I still have to nurse Yaakov through the night b/c lying down is difficult for him. Tell your friend to try him on Prevacid, and also ask the Ped aout giving him some maalox/mylanta when really in pain- it helps a lot. Also, there are bed incliners that help keep the babies head higher than their bodies, which is good for their digestion with reflux. I know how your friend feels, not wanting to get rid of things in her diet. It is really, really hard. If she wants to email me, then I can give you my email address. |
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| hallie_ari_mom | Apr 27 2006, 01:42 PM Post #94 |
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Rebbetzin
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They put the baby on zantac and we'll see what happens now. I gave my friend everyone's info and she said thank you! He started projectile throwing up yesterday and because he's gained so much since birth the flags were up. He was 7 lbs, 7 oz at birth, and my friend thinks he's over 11 lbs. He's 6 weeks old, and that's a pretty significant weight gain. Barbie |
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| DesignMommy | Apr 27 2006, 05:53 PM Post #95 |
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princess
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Please tell her that if the zantac seems to work, and then stops working (that's what happened with Yaakov) to ask to be switched to prevacid. I hope they find something that helps him. You are a very good friend. :) |
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| hallie_ari_mom | Apr 27 2006, 06:39 PM Post #96 |
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Rebbetzin
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thanks.. and thanks! I'll pass it on. I"m just glad at this point that the dr's are listening to her. It's so frustrating to be ignored by health professionals (or by anyone...) In the meantime, she isn't sure which formula she'll stick to. Probably alimentum if all goes well with it on the medication, but she may switch to soy after a while. Barbie |
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| Chavelamomela | Apr 28 2006, 09:34 AM Post #97 |
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aishes chayil
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I am glad to hear that you didn't have permanent supply issues. That's great for you. However, not every woman is so lucky. I have several friends who made this mistake with once child and (started with "just one bottle") to supplement once, and now they have had to keep increasing the formula, since their milk supply just doesn't cut it anymore. They didn't make this mistake with future children and had no supply problems. |
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| Chavelamomela | Apr 28 2006, 09:51 AM Post #98 |
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aishes chayil
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u Tarzan Me Jane, thanks for sharing your experience with us. It sounds like you really went through a lot. Kol Hakavod to you that you used a Supplemental Nursing System (I know that's a whole ordeal - I've seen them used and it takes a lot of commitment). And I don't think you "didn't stick with it" - you clearly went much more than the extra mile to make sure your babies breastfed, until you couldn't do it any more. That's hardly 'giving up' in my mind. I am not judging people who choose not to nurse in public. I totally understand the sentiment. (I have friends who are much more well-endowed than me, and will not NIP -they will find a quiet place to nurse). I am sorry that you felt like a cow. I sometimes feel the same way, especially when my son will not delatch for forever - When I try to nurse him to sleep(not an easy process!), if I delatch him too soon (he seems fully asleep...)he screams in protest and it can take ANOTHER 45 -60 minutes of him on my breast until he falls asleep. I know what it feels like. I think it's important to have a good attitude about BFing in general. I used to pump 3 times a day at work, and now, baby is 12 months and I still pump 2x. I try to remain lighthearted about the entire issue, and find that a sense of humor is crucial. Whenever I go pump, I will sometimes say to those collegues who know why I have to close my door that I have to "go Moo." So yes, there are challanges. Thrush is painful. Feeling like a constant cow is not good for your self esteem. So what makes or breaks it for some women? Why do some stick to it and others not? I think the answer is SUPPORT SYSTEM!!! that's what I meant. That if you have a good support system of other women who have in the past or currently are breastfeeding, it helps you. You need to be able to have a place or people to vent to about these difficulties, so you can hear that you are not alone. If women breastfeed without support, they are generally less likely to stick with it when challanges arise. |
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| jellybean | Apr 28 2006, 02:42 PM Post #99 |
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aishes chayil
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i haven't read all the posts, but i feel like i have to chime in. my daughter was born at 37 weeks and weighed 4 lbs 11 ozs. that is not a normal weight for that gestation. b'H, she was able to come home on time. but she was not gaining weight. she lost so much weight it was scary. one of my friends saw her pictures from when she was a week old and told me she looked like a holocaust survivor. we and the doctors were very concerned. almost right away i had to start supplementing. the fastest and easiest way to do it was to give her 2 ozs of formula right after nursing. i also had to nurse every 2 hours, 10 minutes on each side, around the clock. i was setting alarms to wake up every 2 hours, would wake up, nurse, give a bottle, set an alarm, change a diaper, and go to sleep. this meant i was getting maybe an hour of sleep in between feedings. this went on for a long time. i was going crazy - no sleep, no life, always feeding and going to the doctor. i even asked the pediatrician what the point of nursing was. he looked at me like i landed from mars. he said that dd should get the best of both worlds. b'H, dd started to gain, slowly but surely. this past mon she was 8 lbs 13 ozs (at 10 weeks). giving her bottles did not cause my supply to go down. dd is now on the charts (5th percentile), and she is finally growing into 0-3 month clothing. oh, pumping never worked for me either. it just made me sore. luckily i had and have a lot of support, otherwise i'd never be able to do it. for me, bottleing did not affect my supply. and now we are feeding on demand and supplementing occasionally. as for not nursing in public - i don't nurse in public, i bring bottles with me wherever i go and if dd gets hungry i find a private place to nurse her. usually if i'm going out, i nurse and then i bring a bottle to supplement to give her when we get to wherever we're going, like shul. and for not nursing in the home - i know someone who will not nurse in the house as a tznius issue. she feels uncomfortable leaving the room, table, etc since she has older kids (away in yeshiva) and she doesn't think it's right to leave everyone for extended periods of time while she hides away in her room. |
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| Chavelamomela | May 1 2006, 09:18 AM Post #100 |
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aishes chayil
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Here's where we disagree. I think it's important for children to know their mother's breastfeed their babies. No, the moms don't have to do it in front of the other kids, and yes, tsnius is important, but I think it's important for kids, especially older ones, to know that their mother nurses babies. Otherwise, when these children become parents themselves, they will not think breastfeeding is necessary or important. Chinuch is all-encompassing. We teach our children not only knowledge about Torah, how to be good people, etc, but we also teach our children habits and impart information about how to take care of themselves properly. We want to instill good habits, including eating healthy, hygene,etc, as we want our children to continue these habits when they grow up. If they know that their mothers breastfeed the babies (even if they don't see it), they see by example the commitment that the mom is making for the baby's health. We want our children to continue these commitments in their own adult lives. So yes, if you have older teenage children, I think she SHOULD leave the table to nurse the baby. The fact that she doesn't sends a message to the other children that breastfeeding is not so important to her. It's not important to her, so it won't be important to them. Yes, this sounds drastic, but there is a statistical link between mom and daughters of women who breastfeed. As I wrote before, this all adds to the aspect of support for nursing. By not leaving the table, she's showing the daughters (and sons) that BFing is not so important, this instills a lack of support for BFing in general. |
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| Karapooz | May 1 2006, 12:17 PM Post #101 |
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aishes chayil
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Chavelamommela, I totally agree. I just spent Pesach at the home of a TOTALLY frum CHASIDISH family that has a 3 month old baby. The mother nurses him all over the house. She covers up with a blanket and walks around nursing. She feeds the other kids, cleans up, prepares meals (not at the stove, of course) all while nursing. She has 9 children, KA"H. 1 married boy, who was there for Pesach, followed by 5 more boys, a 5 year old girl and a 3 year old boy (and the baby.) And she nurses in front of them all. Nobody could even tell. One time she was standing in the kitchen and spending time with some of her middle boys ages 7-11 while nursing. They were having a discussion abt something, and it warmed my heart to see this scene. How a mother can be so close to her boys and they are so open with her, and she is able to spend lots of time with them, instead of "hiding out for extended periods of time." |
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| guarana613 | May 1 2006, 01:25 PM Post #102 |
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queen
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I was an unsuccessful nurser with first three bc I wouldnīt nurse in public and whenever I went to hide out I couldnīt stand to miss the action. Well, with no 4 and on I decided that I would nurse Tzniusdikly WHEREVER I was. I definitely got a few raised eyebrows.....but I managed to nurse for close to two years. I one time was chatting to my brother who is a Rov (and we were seeing each other for the first time in 5 years), and asked if he would mind if I nursed. He said there is nothing wrong especially if youīre all covered up and told me that the Ben-Ish-Chai (a sfardic posek) holds that a woman can nurse in public even if she is exposed! But I know that emotions run high on this topic so I just respect everyones need to do what they are comfortable with.... |
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| Karapooz | May 1 2006, 01:58 PM Post #103 |
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aishes chayil
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Um, I heard that if a woman nurses in front of men and doesn't cover herself, it's grounds for divorce. |
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| Chavelamomela | May 1 2006, 02:11 PM Post #104 |
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aishes chayil
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Karapooz, thanks for writing about your experience. It's great to see moms nursing their babies successfully and showing by example (and tzniusly too!) how important it is. That's interesting about the Ben Ish Chai. I have heard (a very minority opinion that some people quote a little too indiscriminantly...) that a nursing mom's breast is not Erva. I don't know about that, because erva is erva, and a woman's breast will still be an attractive thing even if the mom herself only thinks of it as a nourishment tool (while she's feeding her baby). But it's nonetheless interesting. I think the other side of the coin, of not covering up being grounds for divorce...a little drastic. Again, it's "NOT covered" that is interpretted differently by dif't people. To some people, "covered" means in another room to others, it means covered with a blanket to others, it means covered (with baby, the shirt, etc Elu v'elu |
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| guarana613 | May 1 2006, 03:02 PM Post #105 |
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queen
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Karapooz, I didnīt ch"v mean that a woman should nurse uncovered. But as enouragement to nurse in public it was interesting to me to know that there is an opinion (not a psak) allowing for nursing even uncovered. I wouldnīt however actually nurse in public uncovered. |
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