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Suggestions for yeshiva?
Topic Started: Oct 17 2006, 07:31 PM (407 Views)
chavamom
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I really don't have a long time to type out a long post but here is the short story...

Anyone have any suggestions for a small, out-of-town yeshiva high school for my ds? A boy who is long on brains but whose skills aren't up to par? As a former rebbe put it "he has the most 'lomdish kup' in the class" but he needs some work on skills. He does really well when someone nutures his love of learning. He does NOT need a place for 'problem boys' (b'H!!!!)

No, he has not been kicked out of the place he is in, but we are not impressed with what is going on there and I had a run-in with the principal today that was the final straw.

So -

Open to any suggestions.
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zuncompany
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chassidic, litvishe, etc?
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chavamom
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Yeshivish.
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zuncompany
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hrm... philly?
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chavamom
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We are planning to speak with R. Shmuel tomorrow (if we can get ahold of him) and see what he recommends. I don't know if it is the best place for someone who isn't up to par with their skills, but it would have the advantage of having family in town.
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zuncompany
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do you know the greenbergs in bala? they would be a wealth of info for you.
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chavamom
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No, I don't know them. Or at least don't remember them!
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zuncompany
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hrm... i can ask carol if I could pass on her number to you to talk with her. If your comfortable of course. R. Shmuel knows them.
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U Tarzan Me Jane
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from my brothers experiences, I have come to the conclusion, that small yeshiva tends to mean problem boys. My brother had a lot of reading/learning issues. and each small yeshiva that so called specialized in these things, seemed to have worse and worse boys....
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chavamom
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I don't know if that is true now that there are yeshivas that truly specialize in 'problem boys'. I spoke to a mechanech this evening and that was one of the things that we spoke about. There are yeshivas for boys with REAL problems and then there are yeshivas that deal with boys that might get lost in the shuffle in a big, well-known place.
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rikal
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I don't have a suggestion, being full of boys but being in Israel and a different circle. I thought I'd share though what happened w/my nephew.

He was being very badly influenced by the boys in his class, chutzpah, skipping school, stopped wearing tzitzis, hiding his tefilin, not doing anything in class and even stealing and violence. This was in the best class in the school but most of the good boys were pulled by their parents. Younger brothers were also pulled because this was THE best class in the school.

At the time I removed him he was in bad shape. We turned to an ofc that recommends yeshivas for kids not in a mosad. To my horror they recommended the worst place for problem kids, Russian immigrants, broken homes, etc. in the entire Chabad velt.. I said surely you don't know him, he's always been a good kid with LD. Thats not the sitch today, sorry. He'll get individual attention and warmth, learning in groups of 6-7, counseling. I asked but what about the stigma and the influence of all those frei prob kids.

At the same time another yeshiva opened up that truly put the emphasis on good kids who have learning issues. They also wanted to see him. The prob was it is on the Lebanese border and the war hit, hashgacha pratit. We went to visit the "awful school". My older boys begged me not to put him there. A the last minute something ticked him off and he brutally chopped his peyos in a weird way. No sense taking him to a yeshiva for good boys like that.

With heavy heart we went to the suggested mosad. The words pnimia shikumit blared at me from the logo and I wondered whether he noticed, I shoved the paper in my bag. Only the sw warned me that kids from charedi families were in the definite minority here. I slouched as I walked away leaving him there for his trial visit. He was surprised. A school where the whole staff is frum and the kids aren't. He loved it. I was scared that he was so happy because of fewer demands. They do have a professional gym, playstation room and movies that probably wouldn't be allowed in my house though screened somewhat. I don't know whats going on but he wears his tzitzis, goes to shul, carries proudly both pairs of tefilin and talks about what he learns. He is very secretive about the social life but my other younger boys tell me what he says. He tells them about what the other boys do wrong. I think he may be afraid if I know tI will take him out. I am still nervous and keep my eyes open. He is in 7th grade even though he is 13 1/2. They have a yeshiva of their own or if he improves may move to the place up north. When he had a 2 wk vacation he started to get bad again.

I am not saying this type a place is what you need or even that we made the right decision. We only had one alternative. I am saying be creative, get advice, go see and think out of the box. Believe me I am not yet calm.
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0613
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Yeshiva of Greater Washington?
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ScrappingMom
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chavamom
Oct 18 2006, 04:41 AM
There are yeshivas for boys with REAL problems and then there are yeshivas that deal with boys that might get lost in the shuffle in a big, well-known place.

That's what we're dealing with concerning my older son. He's not a problem child, but was lost in a big school. The school he goes to now has 50 students (up from 30 students last year) and 10 boys per class. So far, he seems happy, b"h.

Good luck in finding a school for your son.
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I am Vo
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Ohr Yisroel in Atlanta? It's Yeshivish, but small (only been open for a few years), and gets a lot of boys from other cities who aren't "problem boys" but who would get lost in bigger yeshivos.

For specifics, PM me.
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