Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Parenting a teen ain't for the faint of heart
Topic Started: Nov 8 2006, 02:44 PM (823 Views)
ScrappingMom
Member Avatar
Jewish Housewife
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
CravingRavioli
Nov 8 2006, 04:05 PM
Aren't we all just sort of bumbling along and trying to figure it out as we go along?

Parenting teens is a whole new situation for me, and I'm constantly second-guessing myself. Should I be stricter? More lenient? I have no idea what I'm doing, and I just hope I'm getting it right.

I feel the same way. Should my 2nd son be happier b/c I'm gaining my experience with ds#1? I've had to deal with alot of issues with him that I'm "learning on the job". He's at the stage (for awhile already) where you can't tell them anymore "b/c I said so". Everything is "how come" or "why" and I have to come up with a valid answer even though as a parent it's very hard. And I don't mean the childish "how come" that a 5 y.o. asks.

About the internet, I'm lucky that I'm tech-savvy. However, that doesn't mean our kids aren't. My son mentioned to me one day about a list of sites that his friend had spoken to him about. To say my mouth hit the floor is an understatement. I'm glad he came to me about it and I told him so.

It scares me about what's out there...so much more than when I was his age.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
chavamom
Member Avatar
Bala Buste
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Quote:
 
They started begging me to approve because "We're gonna do it anyway". I told them that it makes me sad but I don't allow. No scream, cool calm statement of fact.
That's exacty what is going on here. I told him that while I know he listens to this music, I can't "allow" it, which is what he wants me to do.

As for having a mashpia, I had to bribe him the first time, but I got him to go talk to a guy that actually had a big influence on me when I was in college (it's someone he normally would not have met in his 'seviva'). He used to work with post high-school boys. They actually had a good talk and my son tells me that he 'understands teen-agers'. This guy has made a point of speaking to my son in shul, and he has talked to him about some of his issues. But getting to the point where he would pickup a phone or go over to speak to him is another madrega.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
zuncompany
Member Avatar
Administrator
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
chava- its hard. I still have a hard time doing it!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
madison
princess
[ *  *  * ]
Quote:
 
He says
that he sees kids in 'frummer' schools as having a large number of
'hypocrits'. when I asked him what he meant, he said, "they will
freak out at you if you put a sefer down the wrong way, but then you
find out they have a girlfriend or worse - things I can't even talk
about! At least the kids I go to school with are kids who know where
they are holding and they are nice." OK then....


He does have a very valid point, the places I've seen Are like that.

He sounds like a really good kid, he talks to Rabbi's about these things, talks to you, not going behind your back, there is nothing wrong I dont think with just explaining your kids the reasons why, and at the same time making them feel understood. Look its real life, sometimes disagreements do not get resolved, and it just so happens that your the parent , doing your job raising kids, don't get faint of heart, sounds like youre handling teenhood pretty well.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rikal
Member Avatar
Rebbetzin
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
madison
Nov 10 2006, 12:57 AM
He does have a very valid point, the places I've seen Are like that.

He sounds like a really good kid, he talks to Rabbi's about these things, talks to you, not going behind your back, there is nothing wrong I dont think with just explaining your kids the reasons why, and at the same time making them feel understood. Look its real life, sometimes disagreements do not get resolved, and it just so happens that your the parent , doing your job raising kids, don't get faint of heart, sounds like youre handling teenhood pretty well.

Indeed.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
« Previous Topic · teens · Next Topic »
Add Reply