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red clothing; when would you stop?
Topic Started: Jan 28 2007, 09:49 AM (324 Views)
ykmommy
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aishes chayil
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I have a question...someone commented on the fact that my ds shouldn't be wearing any red (to attract attention). This isn't the first time I've heard this. We are not 100% Kollel type people, but we are not adverse to their beliefs either. It is just my opinion that he could wear nice colours until Bar Mitzvah age - where he will go into his 'penguin' attire.

Then - there is also the varying colours of red such as wine, plum, etc. What should I do??
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zuncompany
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Shabbos after the upshern we do white shirt, black pants, and vest. Every day I don't think my boys own any red or such but we do colored shirts... dh wears colored shirts to work. All the boys at cheder were in colored shirts and not white shirts/black pants. I avoid red for myself and we have pretty much have avoided it as well for Frei.
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rikal
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Rebbetzin
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I never saw any good reason to start w/it in the 1st place. There is no prob w/plum or burgundy even for adults. I don't think in Lubavitch circles 3 yr old are in white shirts anywhere. Some start at 8-9 and some at BM. The whole prob is some do only button and some do polo and other similar styles. The one thing most chedarim I know don't allow is t-shirts w/writing.
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Reverse Karma
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summer is diff for kids, remember . . . what dres code does your school have?
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rikal
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Rebbetzin
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Are you talking what is proper in general or just vis a vis school rules?
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ykmommy
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aishes chayil
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More 'proper' not school rules.

I have some sweaters for ds that have red stripes, but he has no 'red' polos or sweaters or jackets. Most of his pants are navy cords/plain navy cotton. He wears a lot of dark coloured clothing - but now he wears beige kakhi pants, which I heard a mother complain to me about being too 'modern' or not 'yeshivahish'.
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rikal
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Rebbetzin
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Except for things like jeans, really wild colors or street look it really depends on you and your community. I am more conservative by nature. Like I prefer dh not wear colored shirts. I davka like the dos look. You can't make your kids look different than their friend too much w/o good reason because they will just suffer socially. Not worth it. Is this just the spitz of the community or consensus?
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U Tarzan Me Jane
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I have heard of this. Personally, my kids wear whatever colors I like, while I don't have all red shirts for them, I do have red plaids and maroon for them. I myself have a fantastic red shabbos outfit and a burgendy satin wrap top. I think any color is inherently not tznious.
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ykmommy
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tbh, I thought that this wouldn't be such a problem until he entered Pre1A. In the school handbook - there is nothing preventing them from wearing a thing. I guess if the other parents are complaining (not all, obviously) then their kids will pick up on this and also pick on him. He is pretty sensitive to outside teasing - as I am. Hearing this from another mother just wasn't great for me and did not make my week!! :blink:
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Reverse Karma
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Some times other parents or other kids are the worst!
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Karapooz
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First of all, what business is it of other mothers to complain to you?!?!? I don't really get it.
Truth is, I've been wondering myself what the standards are for what age. Just today, I passed a Bobover Cheider where the boys were playing outside. The group seemed to be about 8-9 years old. They were wearing all kinds of clothes. Plaids, stripes, polos, button downs, sweaters, turtlenecks... Pants too- all different colors. I even saw one kid in beige/ off white pants. It's pretty much up to the parents all the way up to Bar Mitz over here. (We're talking about chasidish, not M.O. over here.)
My son has 1 red polo shirt which I usually put under a sweater or vest. Sometimes he wears it alone. I plan on dressing him in nice, put-together outfits for a good while. For Shabbos he usually wears a white shirt just because any other color would have to be extra pretty to be fit for Shabbos and we don't have such $ to spend on fancy shabbos outfits. So he wears a white shirt with a knit vest with a cutesey design and pants to match.
I never put things with words on him, (unless it's a small emblem off to the side) but I will put shirts with pictures until I don't feel comfortable doing so.
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realeez
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Plenty of boys in their school wear red - I do carpool 5x a week and I see it! My boys have red in their coats that I bought from Reiner and their hats are red and navy!!! I think for girls it's more of a thing not to wear red than for boys...

As for pants, they only wear dark pants b/c it's much easier!
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U Tarzan Me Jane
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Rebbetzin
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My kids go to a school where the dress code is pretty relaxed in comarison to the other schools. Being that it is a sefardic school trying to bring the community to the Ashkenaz yeshivish mentality, They cannot right off demand only black and white, even in the older boys, I see lots of red, pink and sometimes lavender in school. They do require polo's with button collars or button downs from Pre1a and up. But colors are still whatever you want.
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rikal
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What is usually meant by red is a solid fire engine red. I don't know anybody who has prob w/plaid shirts on little boys.

On real little boys, Maon and gan many can but don't. Around 5-6 things get a little more grownup. In many places from 9-10 to BM the boys start to be even more orderly and eidel and at BM dress like men in the community. Each community has its things. I notice other chassidim have boys wearing a gartle after BM and we in Lubavitch only after marriage. Somethings have nothing to do w/halacha or even minhag. Like I would never buy a suit for a child under BM, but I see some Lub in chu"l doing as the Romans do. I would never buy a tie for anyone. I took a box of them to the dumpster a week after our wedding.
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Estie
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AFAIK we wear red here. To Yeshiva my bigger son (13) wears a white button down shirt and dark pants/black hat. The school does allow blue or grey and pinstripe shirts but most of the boys only wear white. My little son wears polo shirts with 3 buttons and a collar to school (that is the dress code). He has some red shirts. His winter coat is red because I bought it for his sister and that is the only color you can use for both. I have another one in the next size.
As for suits it is much easier and cheaper to buy him a $40 suit in Burlington or Syms than to buy a $100 vest outfit in the jewish stores. And they look so cute with a tie!
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