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| what is playground ettiquette?; in reference to toys you bring... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 1 2007, 09:10 AM (220 Views) | |
| ykmommy | May 1 2007, 09:10 AM Post #1 |
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aishes chayil
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My ds brought his toys to the park and was playing with them and then went to the swings to play. Other kids came over and took over his toys (without asking). One kid took his soccer ball and took it over to a group of boys who were playing with it. What is the ettiquette for toys you bring to the park? Is it a free-for-all and they don't require permission to play with them? How does it work? A lot of these rules are basically 'unwritten' but known by all mothers (except for me, apparantly!!) |
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| yaffasmom | May 1 2007, 09:29 AM Post #2 |
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princess
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I would expect someone to ask me and my child. If someone came over and took it without asking, I would call them on it. I would say..."Oh that belongs to us, would you like to play with it? Let me ask my child if that is OK." and I would call over my child and say "he wants to play with your ball are you done for now?, yes? great, thanks for sharing" and to the taker "please return it to us when you are done, we do not want to lose it." I also make sure that anything my children take to the playground are shareable, in other words they are willing, it is not a favorite toy and not attached. That is what I do. More importantly than teaching the other child something, you are teaching your own child about asking and being polite, and giving them tools to deal with situations where kids take what does not belong to them. Amy just my thoughts... |
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| realeez | May 1 2007, 09:29 AM Post #3 |
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Brain Freeze
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I think if you bring toys and leave them somewhere like in the sand, you can expect that kids will probably touch them (even though it's not right). If you put them in the stroller, no one should touch them or even notice them. |
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| 0613 | May 1 2007, 09:50 AM Post #4 |
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:)
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The correct ettiquette is to ask permission! I would NEVER let my kids use someone else's toys w/o asking first. But I think other kids see the toys lying there and somehow assume that the toys belong to the park, pool, etc and anyone can use them. When other kids take our toys, I don't always say something, but I keep a close eye on them to make sure they don't walk away with them. |
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| hallie_ari_mom | May 1 2007, 03:06 PM Post #5 |
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Rebbetzin
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I deal with this all the time! ARGH! I went out and bought a Sharpie pen and plan on labeling all my toys. Etiqutte would be that a child should ask permission if he can borrow a toy, however (the gray area), it is a free for all and children will share and trade. If it is in the sandbox, it's open for grabs. If you say No, that mom will remember you. Last week a kid took my shovel and as I was packing up I asked for it back and she said no! The mom was there and didn't do anything. Ari, however, had one of her shovels so I figured fine, we'll just exchange. Well.. that mom came running over to me and practically grabbed it out of Ari's hands! I stood there and said, great, now I can have mine back. She mumbled something.. she was hoping I'd give up my shovel to her kid! Lots of moms go to the park unprepared and figure the kids share. I think it's great for the kids to learn to share. But.. label, label, label if you want it back. |
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| Karapooz | May 1 2007, 03:57 PM Post #6 |
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aishes chayil
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HM, that is nuts! I am basically with e/o on this. If you leave it, kids will take it. No, it's not right to take other kids' toys without asking. I'd react the same as yaffa'smom. Except that if a kid wants to bring a non-sharable toy, I wouldn't say no. It's their prerogative. They don't have to share with total strangers just because they are in the same vicinity. |
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| buba-luba | May 3 2007, 07:06 AM Post #7 |
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aishes chayil
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If it's sand toys lying around in the sand box, I wouldn't say anything. It happened more than once, ds1 was playing on the slides and came to tell me someone was touching his sand toys, and I told him "why not, you're not playing with them right now". But I wouldn't let kids take things to another place without asking for permission! And then I would probably say no, since packing everything back is annoying enough without having to run to the other side of the park to get the ball back... |
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| ykmommy | May 3 2007, 07:56 AM Post #8 |
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aishes chayil
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that is totally what I think - if the toys are there then the kids can play together with them - but take a ball away and play??? The thing was, the mothers were standing right there, talking amongst themselves, and said nothing. I'm sure ds didn't mind sharing, but I thought it was the principle of the entire thing. Why can't these other mothers teach proper manners? When ds takes a toy - I make him ask if he can play with it first before playing. And, we don't have a stroller - we just walk to the park. Or, ds rides his bike and I walk. |
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| realeez | May 3 2007, 08:26 AM Post #9 |
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Brain Freeze
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maybe bring a big bag for the toys and keep it shut when not in use? |
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| FlowerGirl | May 3 2007, 04:02 PM Post #10 |
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Rebbetzin
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something like a back pack? we had a family in our neighbourhood whose kids would take toys, snacks & other items even from carriages & bags - it was sooooo annoying!!!!! |
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| hallie_ari_mom | May 3 2007, 06:56 PM Post #11 |
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Rebbetzin
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I sat down today and put our surname on all our beach toys. :) |
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| ykmommy | May 4 2007, 06:24 AM Post #12 |
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aishes chayil
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Great idea!! I tried to do that with a permanent marker on the soccer ball but it rubbed off. I think I should put on duct tape and then write on that (Canadian humour!!) |
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| buba-luba | May 4 2007, 06:47 AM Post #13 |
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aishes chayil
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Labeling wouldn't make any difference around here...
:rolleyes: And 3 year olds don't read! It might make it easier to be sure you're packing your own stuff. |
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| hallie_ari_mom | May 4 2007, 08:55 AM Post #14 |
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Rebbetzin
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That's what I was most concerned with.. packing up with my own stuff that I came with. I usually go to the beach at off hours when no one is there to share, but I don't mind sharing our stuff as long as I get it back. Also, if a kid wants to use my stuff I usually ask them to hang around near me. (can you play with that here?) Usually the parents are ok with that bc they like to play with my kids. |
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| Zeesachaya | May 4 2007, 09:13 AM Post #15 |
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Rebbetzin
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I just label it all and inevitably yes, we might lose a few things here or there but this world is so filled with jealousy, rage, and greed that I am not about to throw a fit if a kid takes a soccer ball away to play with it. These are children and some honestly do not know any better. They do not do it out of malice. Obviously if they come over and rip it out of my child's hands that is one thing but to become angry and upset or freak out at another child because they come from a sad situation where their parents haven't taught them any discipline or how to be polite doesn't seem to work for the betterment of our human race. However, just as yaffasmom suggested, there are ways to do this so that we can encourage a teaching moment and model positive behavior to our own children while at the same time hopefully giving another child the tools they need to not be "THAT KID" at the playground. Good luck! It's a jungle out there and at every turn our patience is challenged. |
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