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| Kindergarten means Boyfriend??? VENT | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 21 2007, 08:09 PM (402 Views) | |
| rikal | Jun 26 2007, 12:21 AM Post #16 |
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Rebbetzin
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In our yishuv we have wide ranging hashkafas on this. One day a girl came over 'to play with Rachmiel' and I told her nicely that he doesn't play with girls. This was gan age. I was annoyed at the mother because she chose to hook her dd up with one close friend she approved of and then sent her to us because the friend wasn't home and her dd was making her crazy. She set her own kid up as we are good friends and she knows the rules in our house. I believe that most things that will become inappropriate should not be started in the first place unless truly necessary. I justified putting pants on dd under 2 because the cold weather is more dangerous for a baby than an adult. But to start other kinds of less than tzius for a slightly older child or other things that are habit forming are plain unnecessary. I am not so sure parents can tell today when it switches from innocent to sexual. The age varies widely. Some older kids are clueless and some in the 8-12 group can make you blush. When my Rachmiel was 11 he came in laughing at a 13 yr old boy talking to them in the yard. He had to tell me something funny. He said that this kid told him that when you get married you have to sleep in the same room as a girl. Hilarious! So I asked him, don't I share a room w/Abba? He thought about it and then said something about having to be real care about tznius. I can tell you he understands a lot more today and is not even comparable what I knew at 11. |
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| Mandy | Jun 26 2007, 08:21 AM Post #17 |
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aishes chayil
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That is so funny. I am surprised that boys don't know more at that age. It is usually the girls that are innocent in the preteen/teen years.
Again, it is probably a language usage issue. My 8 year old daughter saw the word sexy somewhere this year and asked me if it means "pretty". I said that yes it does, but in an adult way and it is not used for kids. We left it at that. I let her play with bratz if someone buys them as gifts, but I would not buy them myself. |
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| ScrappingMom | Jun 26 2007, 06:21 PM Post #18 |
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Jewish Housewife
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After my daughter's shoulder surgery, the hospital stuck both of us with Bratz stickers because she had behaved. :) |
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| rikal | Jun 27 2007, 12:35 AM Post #19 |
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Rebbetzin
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In Israeli Charedi communities this ignorance is cherished. For years all of the kids on the yishuv (mix of Charedi and strong DL) were innocent. Two or three families broke unwritten consensus and allowed films that are questionable to all. We also have this older bachelor who seems to becoming spiritually and emotionally unhinged and he likes to shock people. He invites men and shows them movies that are these sick psychological dramas and such. Most of them about how awful women and marriage are and how women trap men and destroy them. This guy burns disks and gives them to kids. We have seen a tremendous drop in yirat shamayim and even mentchlikeit from the days when the yishuv had 2 tvs and one of them belonged to an old man with a terminal illness and the mothers would argue over whether an old Disney film could be shown or not. He gave dh a sick movie called but to he came to start up with me when I sent it back. You see I am the master of the computer and no movie goes on it that I haven't passed. Everyone knows the alternative is a return to passwords and removable hard disks. I am quite disgusted by what has happened to our kids. It only took 2 parents who can't say no to cause a massive problem. This guy, BTW, also gives disks he knows parents don't allow to kids who are 9-10 yrs old. Girls who are 18 blush when married women mention shidduchim and boys usually are aware earlier but not in a how it affects me way. In the city it is different, but in many communities in Y-m it is still nice. |
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| ebpeuka | Jun 27 2007, 03:16 AM Post #20 |
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aishes chayil
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Why doesn't the yishuv have a talk with this bachelor? I thought yishuvim are places where the inhabitants have some control over who their neighbors are. |
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| Akvir | Jun 30 2007, 10:14 PM Post #21 |
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aishes chayil
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I don't have a problem with co-ed for primary school, but i prefer sending my kids to a single sex schools for high school. I hate Bratz dolls...they look bitchy. I shall see what my daughter will want to start playing with before i can say what i have to buy her. Right now all i need to get are cars, puzzles, trains and trucks. I remember as a kid there was a song on the radio "I'm too sexy for my shirt...." me and my bro sang it round the house and got yelled at by my father...so obviously knew there was something up with that word. So I asked my mum what was wrong and asked what the word sex meant. She said it meant gender. So off we sang the song "I'm too gendery for my shirt..." but decided it sounded rubbish so carried on with the usual...we got yelled at again and so i wasn't happy with my mother's explanation as it made no sense if that was all it meant. So making a big broohaha about things to innocent kids only makes their innocence dissapear. Kids are not dumb and do realise when they are not told the whole truth and will go search for it themselves if you fail to tell them properly. |
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| Ima2Netanel | Jun 30 2007, 11:46 PM Post #22 |
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princess
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When Dh and I were engaged, I was at his house for a Shabbos. We were in the basement with his brother, sister and his brother's friend playing a board game. His brothers friend by the way is a nice little 13 year old 'Chassidic' (but not associated with any group) boy. So all of the sudden, as we are in the room, the light, which is on a wacky never-works-right timer- turns on. And this 13 year old boy all the sudden pipes up and says "What will you do if it is Shabbos and the light goes on while you are having sex" :eek Just goes to show you, some kids know WAY more they they ought to! (p.s., abt a year later, another one of BIL's friends IMed me while I was on his SN and when he knew it was me, asked me about my bra size...I never really approved of his friends!) |
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| Zeesachaya | Jun 30 2007, 11:52 PM Post #23 |
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Rebbetzin
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Oh ew - I would have immediately closed down my im or blocked him, that is just so incredibly innapropriate I have no words. Not to mention very immature! |
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| Ima2Netanel | Jul 1 2007, 12:23 AM Post #24 |
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princess
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but I didnt have power over IM or email for BIL. His parent hosue, his computer, unfortunatly not my rules :huh: But I did tell MIL and FIL ASAP |
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| Zeesachaya | Jul 1 2007, 12:27 AM Post #25 |
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Rebbetzin
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Oh, I see what you mean. Good for you telling the mil and fil right away. |
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| Akvir | Jul 1 2007, 07:20 AM Post #26 |
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aishes chayil
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eew, i hope u told the kid to watch it, what a perve. He'll never get a girl with a one liner like that. |
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| Ima2Netanel | Jul 1 2007, 08:15 AM Post #27 |
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princess
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Akvir, Well I was floored..I sort of spuutered for a few minutes and came up with some lame response. Now this kid is serving in the IDF...no longer Chassidic but still frum...and still best friends w/ BIL (who is in the same unit) |
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3:32 AM Jul 11