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I told my kids today; that I'm expecting
Topic Started: Oct 17 2007, 12:51 AM (2,406 Views)
chavamom
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Bala Buste
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The younger ones are excited, the 13 year-old, non-committal, but boy he couldn't wait for 15 y.o. ds to get home and announce, "Mommy's pregnant!" My 15 y.o. flipped out.

"WHAT?!?! Are you SERIOUS?!?!? You just HAD a baby!!! [she's 2 folks] We already have TOO MANY CHILDREN!!!" Starts muttering about how he's not going to change any diapers. Stomps off to his room.

Gah. Teenagers.

The funniest part? He's crazy about the two youngest ones. Carries them around, shows them off, teaches them things, reads to them. Sometimes the way he interacts with the youngest two are his only redeeming qualities - and gives me hope for when he come out of "teenage-hood" that he really will be a mentch.
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zuncompany
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b'sha tova
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chavamom
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zuncompany
Oct 17 2007, 12:53 AM
b'sha tova

thanks. But what to do with the pouting teenager?
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Zeesachaya
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B'Sha Tovah :)

You know what, I bet that in a day or two his entire attitude will change. Adolescents are funny entities (known only through the challenges as a junior high English teacher although I swear my 6 year old can be a bit of a punky teen with me at times!) and given a bit of time I think his entire outlook on this will be more positive. Like you said, he has a blast with his younger siblings. I think teens are a lot like the elderly in the sense that they don't react to change very well but with time they adjust and take on new challenges as long as they are kindly guided through the process! I'd give him some space and he'll come to you.
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Its Me
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bshaah tova.

i think he will beH get out of it. Just a pointer, most ppl are so nervous how their youngest will react and jealousy, the oldest ones have those feelings also...!
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Kmelion
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As far as your teenagers are concerned, everything you do is embarrassing. He'll get over it, I wouldn't worry.
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hallie_ari_mom
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b'shaa tova! Can anyone truly figure out teenagers? He's probably embarrassed bc now he understands (not just knows) how you got pregnant. He'll come around. He needs some time to digest it.
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gayilc
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b'shaah tova! Give him a few days, eventually, he'll probably be ok with it. Good to give him the heads up and not let him figure it out for himself.
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chavamom
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I'm more concerned about the "we have too many kids already". I think he really feels this way. Only the "frumest" families here have families our size and it does put him a bit out of sync with his peers.
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shalhevet
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chavamom
Oct 17 2007, 03:25 PM
I'm more concerned about the "we have too many kids already". I think he really feels this way. Only the "frumest" families here have families our size and it does put him a bit out of sync with his peers.

I would ask him (privately) why he thinks that. Maybe he thinks he gets less material things because of family size, maybe less attention from you, maybe you can't do things as a family that some of his friends' families because you have to take the little ones into account. Maybe it's just that he feels an oddity at an age when he wants to conform with all his friends. Or maybe he has negative memories of when you had your last baby (and that's why he feels you 'just' had a baby).

Once you know what's bothering him then you can explain things to him. Or reassure him if he thinks he's going to miss out on something because of the baby.

After that I'm sure he'll soon get used to the idea.
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realgood
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First of all Besha Tovah.

I remeber whe i was thriteen and my mom told me she was pregannt with my now youngest brother ( he was number 6). I never said it outright but i wasnt thrilled abt it, i thought we had enough kids in the fam and other things.. i think its normal for teenagers..

my dh's aunt has 12 kids k"ah and she says whenever she has a baby..they all get jealous not just the youngest one..
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rikal
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chavamom
Oct 17 2007, 03:25 PM
I'm more concerned about the "we have too many kids already". I think he really feels this way. Only the "frumest" families here have families our size and it does put him a bit out of sync with his peers.

This is very true. My kids are embarrassed whenever I do things that make them feel too "dosi" compared to the rest of the yishuv. You have to turn it into a good different. If he was the only kid who had his own car he would not dislike being different, would he?

He will see the good in having a new sibling. If the baby doesn't take his room. B)
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buba-luba
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Besha'a tova!

No advice for you , sorry... (my oldest is just turning 4 and he asked when we were going to have the other babies... his little sis is 3 1/2 weeks!!!)
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U Tarzan Me Jane
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bshaa tovah--He's being a teen and he'll get over it! (I know I did)
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realeez
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B'shaah Tovah!
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