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Schools; a vent....
Topic Started: May 2 2008, 06:25 AM (623 Views)
Jo :-)
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queen
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OK, here is the situation (sorry in advance for what what will probably be quite a long post!)

DS is 4, he is in a modern orthodox school due to start in reception (not sure what that is N America) in Sept. It is a private school - fees are about $6000 a year.
We also applied to another school which is 'state aided' where the fees are 1/2 the price. We got a letter offering him a place last week and then, before we had made the decision whether to accept it, we got another letter telling us that this offer was being withdrawn as there had been an administrative error...I spoke to the council who said that the school had given them a ranking list that they had then revised, so they had to withdraw the offer. If we wanted to, we could take our concerns directly to the school.

Now, they are legally allowed to withdraw the offer as it was made in error, and we do have the chance to appeal if we want to fight it.
We were seriously considering moving him. There are some issues with our son's behaviour in his current school that we feel are not being dealt with well. The other school is very well established with much better facilities, and financially, with 2 kids, it would save us around $40000 in total...and now we don't know what to do. Both schools seem pretty strong academically, but the state aided school is also known to have difficulties with the behaviour of the children and I don't know if it would in fact be the best place IF we do appeal and win.
Either way, I am annoyed. It is not fair and not professional and this is the second time we have been messed around. Last year, this same school claimed that we had cancelled our application for a nursery place when we had done nothing of the sort, so that also makes me think twice........and you can be sure that whatever we decide to do, I will be giving them a VERY hard time about this.
Anyway, vent over, thanks for listening!!!!!
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npl
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pm'ed you!
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Jo :-)
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queen
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So where do we go from here?
DS is NOT staying in his current school. They are not happy with him, we are not happy with them and basically, the relationship has completely broken down. In hindsight we made the wrong decision sending him there this year.
We are currently trying to decide between 2 other schools for next year (assuming we get places in both - which is a big assumption.....)
One is slightly more orthodox than his current school, still fairly new, not sure if it the best to deal with DS behavioural issues (which has got worse over the past couple of months) We are meeting with them later on this week
The other one has a high proportion of kids that are not religious, although it is an orthodox school. The Jewish studies is nowhere near as good and we would have to supplement outside of school. However they are a very well established school with excellent facilities and would probably be better at sorting out and managing his behaviour. He is on their waiting list.
Both are quite a way from where we live, though there are kids from around my area that go to both, and one has a school bus service which makes it easier...

I wish there was an orthodox near where I live that would be able to deal with my son, that had space!!!!!
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npl
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I'd start with talking to any parents you can about their experiences at both schools. No need to mention the problems you are having, as effective discipline is a universal concern and you can ask about general discipline and how they have handled any issues the parents have heard about. I'd also ask about how they handle kids who need more stretching, or more support, as these issues can indicate how well a school can think "outside the box" and address the needs of individual kids.
I'd be wary of adding more pressure - having to supplement the Jewish Studies, or deal with potential social issues such as peer pressure from wanting to do things the less religious kids are allowed to, that you don't agree with (I know it's just really little kids, but the infatuation with pop culture started very young here).
But, if the school that takes the broader cross-section of religious kids is clearly better at managing behaviour, that would trump it for me, and I would deal with the other issues.
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sauls_mom
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i agree with npl- at an early age you want to give them the tools for learning how to learn. If his major issue right now is behavior- once you help him with that- learning will be easier (and then a transition to a more religious school will be easier as well.) another potential issue- though not sure its real or not- could he be "blacklisted" if he doesnt do well in the more religious school now?
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npl
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Another point to consider is getting the right placement now for the rest of primary school (till age 11). IIRC, the Jewish Primary schools in England get full very quickly and it may be even harder to get him into the school of choice later on. Now is a better time to switch, logistically, because kids who went to the shul nursery school will now be changing to a regular school, and there is flux. But, there is almost no changing schools later on, except when families move home, as there just are no places available (although this may be changing with all the new schools starting up).
Also, changing schools is very disruptive for the kid (except when everyone is the new kid, like at the beginning of reception).
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Jo :-)
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queen
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I know that it would be very disruptive to move him later on, and it would be harder to get him in elsewhere after this year.
Even though, it is still very difficult for this year as most kids go up from the school nursery which feeds into reception.
There are kids in my area who do not yet have a place in a Jewish school for reception.
I am therefore even more aware of how important it is to try and get him into the right place for him.
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zuncompany
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Administrator
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Can you get a tour of both, talk with them and see how they would handle the issues at hand?
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npl
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Sorry, Jo. Didn't mean to sound condescending. I know that you know the limiting factors. I was trying to explain the system for the non-Uk members, so they would understand that it is different than, eg, the US and Canada where there is plenty of choice and space in classes to change into the school at a later grade. It was quite a surprise to me that you didn't have to register your kid for school years before, or that when I enquired about entering at a later grade there was definitely space. Very different setup than the over-subscribed schools in London.
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jellybean
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npl - it depends where you live. we lived in a place where my mother called to put my younger sibs in preschool and they asked when they are due. and for my brother's bar mitzvah my mother called places a few months in advance and they wanted to know what year. (we had just moved there, otherwise we would have gotten a place years before :).) not every place is "welcoming".
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npl
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Wow! And I thought it was just in London where they put their kids names down for a school place at birth - actually, when my first was born, my mom asked which school we were putting her name down for, and it hadn't even occurred to me, as none of my friends were talking about it (either they had older kids already in the school of choice, or they weren't concerned). But, I understand about the bar mitzvah issue - one of the shuls near us is a very large, multiple minyan place. They advertise when you can enter a lottery for holding the bar mitzvah in the shul (I think just the party - if there are many boys being bar mitzvah the same shabbos they share the leyning) and the dates listed were really far away (maybe 2 years?)
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Jo :-)
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queen
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UPDATE!!!!
We finally heard a couple of days ago that our son has a place in a Jewish school not too far from us - it is a state school which is good - but we will have to supplement his Jewish education if he stays there more than a year or two (it is an orthodox school with quite a high proportion of kids who are not so religious....)
He starts on Monday - YAY!!!!!! Now I need to buy a whole new school uniform :-)

20th Oct. ETA - he has been there 3 days and things seem to be going well (hope it isn't the calm before the storm...)
Today we got the school fees - they are about £1000 a year, which is a third of the price of his previous schools, so that is an added bonus :-)

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npl
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Mazal Tov!

Wonderful news! Supplementing the Jewish Studies isn't such a big deal, especially if he is happy and learning well in general at school.
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sauls_mom
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great news! that should be a good stressreliever for you
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ScrappingMom
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Jewish Housewife
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Great news!
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