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School hours
Topic Started: Sep 3 2008, 11:14 AM (317 Views)
npl
Bala Buste
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We decided our 3.5yo didn't need the extra 2 hr optional enrichment programme, and he would come home at 1pm.
Now it turns out he is the only kid in his class who isn't staying for the afternoon.
Is it wrong to take him out if all the other kids are staying (doesn't seem like such an "optional" programme if everyone else does it).
Does it matter if he isn't there to play with all the others - will he find it harder to make friends and will he be left out of social groups? (I consider this age to be mostly for socialization and learning to follow instructions in a group setting).
Is it a problem if I decide to keep him in for the afternoon, if he is saying he doesn't want to stay?
He's the kind of kid who isn't keen to try new things, even if he ends up enjoying them. He isn't so excited about school, and is still saying he doesn't want to go (last year, different school, he really resisted leaving me in the morning, although apparently he was fine the rest of the morning). Keeping him there longer might make that worse, or then again, he might get used to it more quickly and adjust better.
What do you think?
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daisy
princess
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I think that unless he really wants to go, you shouldn't feel you need to send him. When my dd was 4.5, I enrolled her in the 12:00-4:00 program. There was an (excellent) optional enrichment program in the mornings. Initially I did not send her, but she seemed sad she was missing it, so I eventually signed her up. I only did it because it was something she really wanted (and she was my oldest and only child in school at the time).

At that age, I think 1/2 day is plenty for kids. They are only just starting interactive play. Much of preschool play is parallel, and I don't see that my daughter developed any lasting friendships from her school when she was 3.5. I'm guessing most mothers have their kids in enrichment for babysitting purposes.
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zuncompany
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Administrator
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Zu has had no issues cause of it like I posted before.
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JRKmommy
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Bala Buste
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What would he be doing with his afternoons otherwise?

Napping, he can do at home.

However, if you'd be doing playdates or activities anyway, keeping him their for the afternoon just makes it more convenient for both of you.
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npl
Bala Buste
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Well, today he cried at snack time again - but just for a moment. Playdates probably won't happen, as he is the only kid in his class who isn't staying, but we may go to the park, the library, or other "out of the house" activities, instead. Today we baked banana bread. He seems very tired and quite cranky right now. I've a feeling staying till 3pm may be hard for him.
The teacher said there's no problem with him being the only one going home at 1pm, and she's had it other years when there's been only one kid who doesn't stay, and it hasn't been a problem socially, etc. And her feeling is that he needs a little more time to adjust and may be ready for the longer day in a month or so.
They don't nap at school, but I'd really rather he didn't nap at home either! I think we have to get over the "sometimes nap" phase and get to a regular routine, even if it means putting him to bed earlier than his brother (which, of course, he will resist). I know - this too shall pass.
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realeez
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Brain Freeze
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Just don't forget to put yourself into the equation - what you choose also has to be what's best for you!
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Zeesachaya
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Rebbetzin
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There is an "after school program" at my children's campus as well. Many of these children come from two parent income homes so the kids stay because it's basically child care. As a result, there are very few playdates to be had at a normal afternoon time because there are no children around! Thus far my dd really doesn't have any desire to stay later in it (from 2:30 when school gets out until 4:30 or 5:30 depending upon how late you want them to stay). As I mentioned, most of her friends are there so it would help her socially (i.e. possibly become more popular I guess) if she were to go. However, we don't really need her to go (my parents live close by and pick them up when I have to teach) and she's not too keen on it either. Thus, for us - it was her decision. She likes school, and has friends to play with while there, but honestly she'd much rather be cooking with me, playing outside, or reading a book on the couch than remain in a structured academic setting wherein the content isn't that challenging once the basic school day is over.

Now, with my son I have this to say: I absolutely love the special time the two of us have together. It has helped me to really see him as his own little person with specific needs and wants that I don't always clue into when older sister is always around. True, he missed her terribly for the first few days but now that he knows after preschool we get special mommy and son time - it's a wonderful blessing for us and I treasure the time we have together. Even if he is napping - he's napping on his bed and I can peek in on him. This is my last year until he starts kindergarten so I am really trying to soak in every last moment of it. He's definitely not a baby anymore and I feel like it's all flying on by so I don't want to miss out on the "little yummy years" any more than I have to!
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