Viewing Single Post From: Closeted Or Repressed Behaviors

Viewing Single Post From: Closeted Or Repressed Behaviors
puppet	Oct 7 2008, 12:41 AM
Advanced Member Posts: 30 Group: Members Member #221 Joined: October 4, 2008	Guest Oct 6 2008, 07:05 PM I have a quick question... Prior to "coming out", if you were attracted to a woman, did you ever treat her rudely or refuse to see her, etc? It's kind of like if I push HER away, the "problem", i.e., my true orientation, will go away with her... I know you're probably not asking me, but I'm going to answer anyways. I had these like intense friendships with girls... like very into them, high ups and downs, very weird, like in several of my friendships sometimes people told us to get a room, or would say we were "married" but at this time i had absolutely no sexual interest in them (or I don't believe I did) In hindsight there were like 3 girls who I had such relationships with before the 4th of the same kind eventually involved into a sexual relationship (so my first girfriend was at the beginning of grade 12, so these prior ones occured in grade 10/11), and with these three girls, I kind of feel that if any of them were gay and had said something to me about being with them, I probably would've gone for it. For my first one of these I definitely avoided her at all costs, and it stopped developing, the second I don't know, I was kind of her bitch, and the third, we were extremely rude to each other and fought all the time. Honestly though it wasn't conscious, and I don't know if I acted that way because I was being repressive and hated subconsciously feeling that way, or I just had this instinct that was like of fear. But what is really weird about it is all these girls really indulged me, actually not even indulged, they were right there with me in the craziness that was our friendship, so it's weird and there was tension, so yea... I don't think I've said anything, I'm kind of just rambling, but I'm so interested in your question because sometimes I think about what would've happened if I knew I was gay when I was friends with any of these earlier girls.


Closeted Or Repressed Behaviors · L Anonymous