Closeted Or Repressed Behaviors

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Closeted Or Repressed Behaviors; As Requested
Topic Started: Oct 6 2008, 04:01 PM (5,044 Views)
Guest	Jan 20 2009, 04:54 AM Post #121
Unregistered	Guest Jan 20 2009, 01:43 AM Hmmm. If someone says "partner" to me, I automatically think they are gay. Otherwise, they'd say "boyfriend" if they're a woman or "girlfriend" if they're a guy. i agree I don't think a closeted person would want to risk saying "partner". It's extremely obvious imo.
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Guest	Jan 20 2009, 05:38 AM Post #122
Unregistered	It's a dead giveaway to me. They may be have an opposite sex partner but I still think it's a hint to a same sex liking. And if someone is deeply closeted they most likely wont have the conversation at all, but someone who is just closeted lingering on coming out they use those words (not saying all do).
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Guest	Jan 20 2009, 07:22 AM Post #123
Unregistered	Guest Jan 20 2009, 04:54 AM Guest Jan 20 2009, 01:43 AM Hmmm. If someone says "partner" to me, I automatically think they are gay. Otherwise, they'd say "boyfriend" if they're a woman or "girlfriend" if they're a guy. i agree I don't think a closeted person would want to risk saying "partner". It's extremely obvious imo. My sister refers to the guy she's with as her partner. They live together now (having dated for 4/5 years) and I figure, for her, partner is kind of inbetween boyfriend and fiance. He's not just her boyfriend, but not quite ready for fiance. I think person is more revealing than partner. Or using an awkward singular they in place of a gender-specific pronoun.
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Guest	Jan 20 2009, 08:03 AM Post #124
Unregistered	I know someone who I am convinced is gay and horridly repressed. She doesn't really have any attractive female friends -- her closest friend is homely and overweight and married. She "courts" attractive females to be her BFF ...showers them with gifts, wants to spend tons of time with them, sends cutesy cards and emails, then in a couple of months, drops them like a hot potato. I was that friend, twice! She gives off a very dykey vibe, and while she is pretty, she leans more towards the masculine side in her attire, the car she drives (big ole truck) and her profession, which is in construction. I realize that sounds like I'm stereotyping, but I want to give an accurate picture of her, both in actions and appearance. She has been married been married before but won't talk much about what happened other to say the ex criticized her too much. She also lives in a constant state of self-imposed drama. So, I haven't figured out if this is repressed behavior or if she has a personality disorder. (sorry if this is slightly off topic, but I would really like to hear some opinions)
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Guest	Jan 20 2009, 08:09 AM Post #125
Unregistered	^All that, just to let the board know that you're hot. Quote: She "courts" attractive females to be her BFF ...showers them with gifts, wants to spend tons of time with them, sends cutesy cards and emails, then in a couple of months, drops them like a hot potato. I was that friend, twice!
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Guest	Jan 20 2009, 08:11 AM Post #126
Unregistered	^ Nooooo, that's not the reason! Geez!
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Guest	Jan 20 2009, 02:39 PM Post #127
Unregistered	Guest Jan 20 2009, 08:03 AM I know someone who I am convinced is gay and horridly repressed. She doesn't really have any attractive female friends -- her closest friend is homely and overweight and married. She "courts" attractive females to be her BFF ...showers them with gifts, wants to spend tons of time with them, sends cutesy cards and emails, then in a couple of months, drops them like a hot potato. I was that friend, twice! She gives off a very dykey vibe, and while she is pretty, she leans more towards the masculine side in her attire, the car she drives (big ole truck) and her profession, which is in construction. I realize that sounds like I'm stereotyping, but I want to give an accurate picture of her, both in actions and appearance. She has been married been married before but won't talk much about what happened other to say the ex criticized her too much. She also lives in a constant state of self-imposed drama. So, I haven't figured out if this is repressed behavior or if she has a personality disorder. (sorry if this is slightly off topic, but I would really like to hear some opinions) Could be both, repressed behavior PLUS personality disorder (serial BFFs? very unusual for a sane person). I don't think you would have mentioned the latter, if you didn't have the sneaking suspicion that this could be the case. But maybe I'm projecting, because I had a "friend" like that.
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Guest	Jan 21 2009, 01:16 AM Post #128
Unregistered	^ Thanks for your reply. I do suspect the latter for many reasons, but since she likes constant self-imposed drama, it sounds like that s a strong possibility. I thought it was just me who was a BFF the first time around but then when I got "invited" back, I saw the pattern emerge again. She is also on-again off-again friends with a swinger couple. Something is very strange, yet intrigung about her and I guess I'm looking for validation on my suspicions. I hope to never go down that road again, though. Twice was enough. What happened w/your friend?
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Guest	Jan 21 2009, 12:12 PM Post #129
Unregistered	Guest Jan 21 2009, 01:16 AM ^ Thanks for your reply. I do suspect the latter for many reasons, but since she likes constant self-imposed drama, it sounds like that s a strong possibility. I thought it was just me who was a BFF the first time around but then when I got "invited" back, I saw the pattern emerge again. She is also on-again off-again friends with a swinger couple. Something is very strange, yet intrigung about her and I guess I'm looking for validation on my suspicions. I hope to never go down that road again, though. Twice was enough. What happened w/your friend? Ugh, let's not get into that in too much detail... One of the things she liked to do was hitting on me and when I caved in she accused me of trying to destroy her relationship with her boyfriend. We were in our late teens/early twenties when we knew each other and, unlike her, I'd always been a relatively good girl. It was all very intriguing and exciting at the time, but also very damaging to my self-esteem. It got to the point where she had me convinced there was something seriously wrong with me. Ultimately, my girlfriend stepped in and the rest is history :) Bottom line: step away from that mess. It's for your own good.
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Guest	Jan 21 2009, 01:36 PM Post #130
Unregistered	Partner is actually becoming more common, particularly in the upper classes. Ironically, the ultimate result of the Christian Reich's cultural war is that people are referring to their spouses as their partners more (husband and wife less) and becoming more gay friendly and supportive.
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Guest	Jan 21 2009, 06:25 PM Post #131
Unregistered	Guest Jan 20 2009, 07:22 AM Guest Jan 20 2009, 04:54 AM Guest Jan 20 2009, 01:43 AM Hmmm. If someone says "partner" to me, I automatically think they are gay. Otherwise, they'd say "boyfriend" if they're a woman or "girlfriend" if they're a guy. i agree I don't think a closeted person would want to risk saying "partner". It's extremely obvious imo. My sister refers to the guy she's with as her partner. They live together now (having dated for 4/5 years) and I figure, for her, partner is kind of inbetween boyfriend and fiance. He's not just her boyfriend, but not quite ready for fiance. I think person is more revealing than partner. Or using an awkward singular they in place of a gender-specific pronoun. I'm bi and I sometimes avoid pronouns when talking about men. I get this weirdness because I'm not really out about being bisexual. I don't see how it's anyone's business, unless I meet that special one. What I mean when I'm with the gays, I've caught myself saying this person or they when I should just say he. I'm probably on the list of women they think are closeted lesbians. And the strange part is when I'm with the straights I avoid saying he too. It's weird for me because I haven't always been a practicing bisexual. I just started dating woman a few years back and thought okay this is me now. Then I started to not be closeted but not out. I mean I never went out of my way to prove I was straight, and if asked decided I wouldn't lie or cover, so the door was slightly ajar and I welcomed any speculation- but no one ever asked. But then I realized that men weren't a part of history and back, for some reason I don't want to slam the door, shut so to speak. It took me a long time to be at an okay place with my sexuality but now everything is pretty messy. Help, analyze me please, criticism is welcome.
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Guest	Jan 21 2009, 07:22 PM Post #132
Unregistered	Guest Jan 21 2009, 06:25 PM . But then I realized that men weren't a part of history and back, for some reason I don't want to slam the door, shut so to speak. It took me a long time to be at an okay place with my sexuality but now everything is pretty messy. Help, analyze me please, criticism is welcome. please just stick with men, you sound annoying and dirty
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Guest	Jan 21 2009, 08:11 PM Post #133
Unregistered	I'm 95% that my mom knows that I'm gay but I haven't said a word about that, coz she hates gays and I think that she prefers to have a slut as a daughter than a lesbian daughter. My sisters know that I'm gay but I'm sure they think that I'm not gay anymore and that when I came out (18 y.o.) I wasn't sure about it and things like that. I have several friends that are constantly joking and saying things about gays and about things about me like: Hey when are you coming out? etc... They know that I support gays and that I have some gay (male) friends. I'm still having doubts about my sexuality but I've always known that I feel attraction to women. However, I try to avoid talking about women, relationships, sex, and it's stupid, but I'm always saying, Oh my God, that guy is so hot (yeah, I know). I really hate when my mom talks shit about gay people and I just say: It's not my problem...I don't give a fuck about them. When I'm hanging/walking/drinking with my friends I try to avoid looking at pretty girls, but I always find a way to do it. (I don't look at boobs or butts, it's rude...and clearly that's sth that guys do and I'm not a guy). I'm just gay with my gay friends, I feel like in a comfort zone, and I try to be straight with my other friends...I hate that shit.
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Guest	Jan 21 2009, 11:20 PM Post #134
Unregistered	Guest Jan 21 2009, 08:11 PM I'm still having doubts about my sexuality but I've always known that I feel attraction to women. However, I try to avoid talking about women, relationships, sex, and it's stupid, but I'm always saying, Oh my God, that guy is so hot (yeah, I know). Do closeted people really do this? That's pathetic. WHy do people feel the need to appear straight in this day and age. I understand that some people feel uncomftorble broadcasting their gayness but to actually go so far as pretending their obsessed with men? Although i do know a couple of girls who seem totally gay but always, constantly talk about hot guys, every second guy they come across is like omg so hot. I've realised with straight girls they like to comment about how ugly and annoying guys are too, girls who whine about how much they hate guys and they're so annoying are usually straight with their whole little lives revolving around any tiny thing that a guy does
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Guest	Jan 22 2009, 12:39 AM Post #135
Unregistered	Guest Jan 21 2009, 07:22 PM Guest Jan 21 2009, 06:25 PM . please just stick with men, you sound annoying and dirty Oh, if only I could.
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Guest	Jan 22 2009, 12:57 AM Post #136
Unregistered	Guest Jan 21 2009, 11:20 PM Guest Jan 21 2009, 08:11 PM I'm still having doubts about my sexuality but I've always known that I feel attraction to women. However, I try to avoid talking about women, relationships, sex, and it's stupid, but I'm always saying, Oh my God, that guy is so hot (yeah, I know). Do closeted people really do this? That's pathetic. WHy do people feel the need to appear straight in this day and age. I understand that some people feel uncomftorble broadcasting their gayness but to actually go so far as pretending their obsessed with men? Although i do know a couple of girls who seem totally gay but always, constantly talk about hot guys, every second guy they come across is like omg so hot. I've realised with straight girls they like to comment about how ugly and annoying guys are too, girls who whine about how much they hate guys and they're so annoying are usually straight with their whole little lives revolving around any tiny thing that a guy does First of all, I agree with you when you say that it's pathetic. In my defense, I've to behave and be like a straight girl coz in the society of the country in which (unfortunately) live, you are punished and people aren't open-minded, specially with lesbians. I live with my parents and they don't know that I like women and they are conservatives, so i have to lie, sometimes you have to lie to live, that's my case. My lovely mother told me once that if she knew sth about me (sth gay I think) she' going to kill me<--I guess she refered to kick me out of her house. Also, I'm not obsessed with men, not at all. The comments of oh that guy's hot aren't all the time, you misunderstood what I said.
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Guest	Jan 22 2009, 09:33 AM Post #137
Unregistered	Jesus, what's with some of you jumping on people - young people, it seems - for being closeted? Do you seriously think that because it's 2009 now, everything is peachy everywhere? I'm glad you live in a place where you can be out and honest, but life is a hell of a lot more complicated for some people. I've seen this sentiment expressed so many times on this board, and it's mind-boggling. Are you guys all posting from the same gay bar on the remote island Dykelandica or something?
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Guest	Jan 22 2009, 07:54 PM Post #138
Unregistered	I agree no one should be looked down upon for keeping their personal life securely private. It doesn't make them a terrible person. This world is SO obsessed with things that aren't important. Character is much more important than who somebody is f_cking... I say do whatever makes you happy and f_ck everybody else.
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