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The Sheepling's weekly(ish) news bulletin!
Topic Started: Aug 26 2006, 06:43 PM (315 Views)
Sheepling
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CC0 made me put it here...

It's a weekly news bulletin, written by me, and based loosely on what would happen if any of the weeks events were to happen in real life!

Breaking news!

There has been an accident on the railway lines. Thomas the Tank Engine caused his carriages to de-rail while racing a waffle iron. They tumbled down a hill, smashed into a cliff face, bounced through a river and careered into a local park where they finally stopped after crushing a children's swing. Luckily nobody was hurt, but Thomas was said to be dizzy after he spun his eyes around really fast. The Fat Controller released the following statement:

The Fat Controller's statement
 
Thomas has been a very naughty engine. Not only has he endagered the lives of many people, and cost the railway thousands of whatever currency this country uses retrieving the carriages using an extra long crane from the exact place where they fell off, he also lost the race. He has been punished by being told to return to the sheds and he will have to do frieght work for the next two weeks.


Thomas is quoted to have said, 'Sorry sir,' and has slinked off to the sheds.

This is not the first time one of Thomas' races has got him in trouble. He once had a race with a 'talking bus' (yeah right) which he managed to win.

'We were all very happy for him winning,' said one of the passengers, 'but quite frankly it was a bit cheeky of him to do it while on duty. He missed every single stop along the way, and he wasn't even punished in the slightest! Indeed, he was congratulated!'

Coming up, we discuss the obesity crisis in Democratia, but do it very quietly due to noise pollution laws.
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Admin
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Lol, nice. :lol:

Keep these up, and I'll give you a sub forum. ;)
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Sheepling
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Hello, and welcome to part 2 of my weekly news bulletin. Now, this segment will not be as funny, as there is nothing funny about being obese.

That's right, Democratia's leading scientists have declared Democratia's obesity rate is rising at a staggering rate. In a reprt published today they concluded that, if this continues, that Democratia will sink below the ocean and the past two weeks will have been a bigger waste of time. Home Secretary, Aquatic Evil, has come up with a plan.

"Ban all junk food. All of it. In fact, we must force a diet of lentils, reduced calorie water and dust upon everyone. I've been on this diet for 15 years and, not only am I in peak physical condition, but it's done WONDERS for my skin."

In other news, new noise pollution laws have been enforced upon the nation, but many see this as a bad move. We spoke to one such person in a sound proof botth.

"It's rediculous. The other day I was broken into and the burglar complained about the amount of noise he had to put up with when he broke the window. I was fined 5000 whatever our currency is!"

Others, however, see an advantage to the situation.

"Before I had to put up with the risk of damaging my eardrums with the nosie of breaking glass in my line of work, but this new law has shown these inconsiderate people what for! Just the other day I managed to win a decision against one such person who was fined 5000 whatever our money is! That'll teach him!"

However, the law has had huge effects on the mime industry. Due to noiselessness being common place nowadays, thir acts are less entertaining and thus they make less money, as this mime tells us. For his own privacy, his voice has been altered in the following film.

Anonomous mime
 
"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      "


That's the end of the news for today, join us some time during the week when I feel there's enough to talk about. From all of us here, shhhhhhhhhh!
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Boohistory
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I thought I was doing this :cry:
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Boohistory
Sep 12 2006, 12:39 PM
I thought I was doing this  :cry:

I think he started his before you. ;)

Anyways, there's room for more than one paper in the media. :)

EDIT: Actually, it's been a while since he posted...

*unpins*

Actually, while I'm at it, I'll move it to General Politics.
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Boohistory
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*rejoices*
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Sheepling
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1. I started this ages ago.
2. There's been very little to actually make fin of lately that boo hasn't said... let her do it :)
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Pokemaniac John
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Sheepling
Aug 26 2006, 06:43 PM
He missed every single stop along the way

:o I just noticed this! :o If you actually read the book, you will find he DID stop! :o

:o :o
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Admin
Admin
Admin
...

Bumping a topic after nine months? :huh:
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Pokemaniac John
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Commoncold0
Jun 26 2007, 08:07 PM
...

Bumping a topic after nine months? :huh:

:o And why not!? This is an important matter, you know! :o
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