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| The Weekly Lamp Post™; Of Ostentia, Issue 3 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 10 2007, 09:50 AM (181 Views) | |
| Pokemaniac John | Sep 10 2007, 09:50 AM Post #1 |
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Mister Speaker
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Headlines Today: Second Attack - Cheese Industry Collapses -Pokemaniac John At around 2:30 this morning, another cheese factory was bombed, this time killing ten people, and injuring many more. The cheese factory was manufacturing Blue Smythii, a cheese popular amoungst the farmers of Nashun. The police beleive they may have found the culprit, though they are having trouble tracking him down. They have a picture of him from when he was imprisoned a few years ago for starting a fire at a fire station: If you see him, call the police immediately. Do not approach him under any circumstances, as he is beleived to be both armed and dangerous. Ostentian Union: A Retrospect -Cieran Although unification talks have only been taking place for around fifteen years, the settlement of the Ostentian Peninsula goes back many thousands of years, due to its varying but mostly temperate climates. It is reckoned that the first settlers arrived around 4,000 years ago. The name of Ostentia was adopted in 527AD, when The Fiefdom of Ostentia was established as a province of the Continental Empire. Little was known about the Empire, they just liked to conquer land. Naturally this led to some problems when the entire economy was based on conquering and there wasn't any land left to conquer. By 1186 the Continental Empire was disintegrating, and Ostentia was far away from the capital. It was left to decay. Lacking a leader, the Fiefdom split into the countries of Fondrop, Oredia, Mearor, Nashun, and Boondoxia. In 1561 Falahn later declared independence of Mearor, and by 1612 Valaxia and the Northern Isles had of Boondoxia. And so the countries stayed for hundreds of years, divided. They were not poor countries, but were not rich either. The economies, although appearing to be strong, were highly fragile. Nearly all countries were single-export, mostly relying on farming goods. It was sheerly by luck that they lasted as long as they did. A series of dry summers and wet winters brought many economies to breaking point in the mid 1980s. Most leaders decided something had to be done, but nobody knew what. Only the Falahnians wanted Unification, being the smallest country and one of the smallest economies on the peninsula. The economy of the entire peninsula needed but one event to bring it crashing down. Although by the early 1990s it was appearing to recover, in 1997 disaster struck. Unexpectedly the world entered The Great Economic Slump. The reason for this is still unclear, although it appeared to originate somewhere to the North-West of the peninsula, as Nashun and Mearor were the first to collapse, and Fondrop the last With the entire peninsula on the verge of all-out war, and many citizens enforcing vigilante justice, the leaders of all the countries met at a summit in August 1997 in Epiphany, the capital of Mearor. Still though, no-one knew what to do. It was not until mid 1998 that plans for Unification were announced, although no timetable was given. By 2002 though, a timetable had emerged, and it was announced that the Unification would come into effect on the First of September 2007. The new country would be named Ostentia, after the peninsula. Mearor would also be split into two provinces, each with a local government, as part of the agreement, being the largest area. This led to a period of quiet from the leaders. By the time Unification finally came to be, last week, decisions on a currency and flag are still outstanding. These are expected to be tied up by the first government, Inevitable's Boo Party. So here's to many glorious years of The Republic of Ostentia! Police Catch Cat Burglar -Pokemaniac John The police of Falahn recently caught a notorious cat buglar known only as "Mad Dog". He was found in the kitchen of a home holding a flaming cat while the home owner slashed at him with a kitchen knife. There were reportedely several groans from police constables when the cheif inspector in charge of the investigation, C.I D. Tect, said "we've caught you red 'anded!", reffering to the burn marks on the theifs hands. The police have also found where the theif was keeping his stolen cats, and all of them have now been returned to their rightfull owners. We managed to get an interview with the officer who found them, Mr. F. Ind: Reporter: Mr. Ind, first of all, where did you find the cats? Mr. Ind: I found them in an old abandoned house, on the outskirts of Serenitatis. Reporter: How was it you managed to find them? Mr. Ind: We passed the house on the way to the police station, and I noticed him glance in it's direction quite a few times. Being quite thourough in matters like this, I later went and searched the house, and found all the cats in it's basement. Reporter: How many cats were there? Mr. Ind: At least fifty. Reporter: That's a lot of cats! Have you been able to find the owners of all these cats? Mr. Ind: Yes. Luckily, most of them still had their collars and tags. Those that didn't were all identified by their owners. Reporter: Thank you, Mr. Ind. Microwave Company Sued Because Of Cat! -Pokemaniac John Last Friday, a microwave company named Techwave were sued because one of their products had set fire to a cat. The cat's owner says he "put it in the microwave to dry out, 'cause it'd just fallen in the sink, innit!". The company had to pay for the cat's vet bill, and all their microwaves must now be clearly labled with a warning saying "WARNING: DO NOT MICROWAVE CATS ETC.". Weekly Lamp Post™ Of Ostentia, © Pokemaniac John Publishing ltd. All rights reserved. |
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2:55 PM Jul 11