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Good News Is No News
Topic Started: Sep 21 2007, 06:36 PM (258 Views)
eriatarka1
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Home Secretary
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Welcome to the Ostentian (*spit*) version of the Daily Mail.

Before beginning with any articles, I would like to outline our true stance on the events portrayed.

1/ If we discover anything we print leaves people without a frown on their face, not grumbling about the good old days before unification or generally even vaguely satisfied, then we will send out an immediate apology.

2/ If anything we publish is true or resembles truth, then feel free to complain.

3/ If our headlines do not include the terms "house price", "monarchy" or "pre-unification" in conjunction with any pejorative term, then we shall call for the return of the death penalty in order to kill the hapless write of the article.

The news beginneth here:

The twenty-first day of the ninth month in the yera two-thousand-and-seven Anno Domini.

Pre-unification house price monarchy crash plummet disaster

Due to the recent unification of member states into one whole and wholly inappropriate non-monarchy, house prices have crashed. It is thought that not even children can now afford to buy a simple mansion in the countryside with 2 acres of ground, its own swimming pool and self-contained river, having instead to opt for a truly atrocious inhospitable 5-bedroom house near to some urban conurbation. We personally think this to be a disgrace and the recent plummet in crashing house prices post-unification and -monarchy is truly a true disaster of true proportions.

Continued on page 94.

In other news, some celeb somewhere's been seen with some other celeb who they may or may not be associated with but it doesn't really matter because they are clearly being unfaithful because they're HOLDING HANDS WITH THEM AND THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.

In more other news, look at the clouds currently forming countries...look at the Northern Isles up there...doesn't it make you MAD TO THINK THAT THIS POOR STATE'S NATIONAL IDENTITY IS BEING RIPPED FROM IT!!!!!

In yet more other news, we are outraged to discover that highly pornographic magazines such as FHM are being sold in this country, which once prided itself on absolute morality.

In some more yet more other news, turn to the centre spread to discover how you too can look good naked.

In sport, the shameful antics of the football players who have the nerve to actually commit the abhorrent acts they perpetrate day upon immoral day, week upon intangibly godforsaken week, that is, the playing of the loutish game of football.
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Admin
Admin
Admin
Woo! Right-wing ranting! :lol:
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HRH King Zog II
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Waffler of the House of Boreds
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WHO WROTE THIS RUBBISH?

How does a house price crash make a house harder to afford????
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Inevitable
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WOBBUFFET!
Moderator
This is not a product of Boo Media.

Long live Boo.
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Pokemaniac John
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Mister Speaker
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Inevitable
Sep 22 2007, 12:11 PM
This is not a product of Boo Media.

Long live Boo.

You do realise that by saying that you'll just make people suspicious...?
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Inevitable
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WOBBUFFET!
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No. Plus, I'm not. Simply because, as seen by the recent passing of the BHS bill, the Boo Party never lies.
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Cieran
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Should-like-totally-be-the Prime Minister
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And we'll pass a rail nationalization bill as soon as CC0's is defeated :)...
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HRH King Zog II
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Waffler of the House of Boreds
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Cieran
Sep 22 2007, 01:28 PM
And we'll pass a rail nationalization bill as soon as CC0's is defeated :)...

Or you could pass one before CC0's making his irrelevant.

After all government bills have priority
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eriatarka1
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Home Secretary
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HRH King Zog II
Sep 21 2007, 07:10 PM
WHO WROTE THIS RUBBISH?

How does a house price crash make a house harder to afford????

That's.

The.

Point.
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