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The Apeiron Argus; Issue 2 - With Special Report.
Topic Started: Nov 18 2007, 04:37 PM (640 Views)
Inevitable
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The Apeiron Argus (Because I'm too lazy to think of another name)

Massive embarrasment for newly elected PM

Newly re-elected government, the F&V=P Party, recently suffered the biggest crisis modern Ostentia has ever faced. After only just managing to win the election, the first call to business was the recovery of the Northern Isles pending the disaster a few weeks ago. It took three successive attempts for them to pass their proposed budget, only scraping through on the last try. Despite the fact the leader of the opposition, Inevitable, freely gave his advice, which would have ensured Boo Party support, the F&V=P party stubbornly refused to change their bill. Because of this, the Northern Isles were left without any government aid for a week. This action will almost certainly have disastrous effects on the rest of Ostentia in the coming local election, a fact that the F&V=P party seem to be blissfully ignorent of. It's estimated that the damage to the government would have been catastrophic had it not been for the glorious Boo Party, who had spent private funds in order to help in the restoration. It is without a doubt that the Boo Party have succeeded in staving off the certain riots which would have plagued Ostentia's smallest region. This is the second time in recent days that the Boo Party has helped to avert disaster in the Northern Isles, as well as the second time the F&V=P Party have treaded on such a dangerous ground. With this newest event they've lost even more supporters.




EXPOSED: Violations of Human Rights in Exilia

A special report courtesy of Cieran.

Our reporters Ivan Borstovsky and Elaine India today returned from their undercover journey to report on activities in the Outlandish Archipeligo. They have seen many things on their two week journey, here we offer a run down of the sites seen, day by day:

3/11/07:
We today arrived at Exa Airport, under the pretence of a recently married husband and wife, choosing Exa as our destination for our honeymoon. We were with a convoy of other tourists. It seemed odd, the Exilian Government had put on a show to impress us foreign visitors, a large display of Exilian culture in the Arrivals Hall, and our coach took a large detour through some rather affluent neighbourhoods. One gets the feeling that they are hiding something. There were many roadblocks about.

6/11/07:
We toured Exa today. The city is indeed a beautiful place, full of ancient Autocratian architecture. In a museum we found some history of Exilia. It was full of bias, attributing every great act in history to King Zog I, even events before he was born! And outside the hotel we saw a heartwrenching site. Hundreds of beggars clamouring to get in, they had seen our coach, assuming we were affluent tourists they had converged upon the museum. We were told to go back inside and waited in the gift shop. The sounds of screams could be heard coming from outside, barely muffled by the thick walls. When we left there were no beggars, just blood stains.

7/11/07:
Today we lazed around in the hotel. More noticable now were the large iron bars surrounding the hotel compound. Again, we chanced a closer look, but were promptly removed by guards. I can't help but shake the feeling of being watched. I have disconnected this laptop from the Internet and turned off any signals. The Exabyte ISP is state owned...I feel they could be spying on us now...

8/11/07:
We took a coach tour of the Exilian Vinyards today. Exilia is a well-known wine makong country, yet is currently suffering a poor grape harvest. The descriptions in the Echo are an understatement (due to State censorship). Barely any of the vinyards were open, and in the ones that were the wine was foul. Many are facing closure, it was truly dismal...

9/11/07:
We saw a killing today. It had been a lazy, uneventful morning, then, at around one PM, a man tried to get into the hotel as we were sitting in the courtyard. He was clearly a poor Exilian man, possibly one of the affected winyard owners. He screamed out in fractured Ostentian, "PLEASE! HELP ME! TAKE ME WITH YOU! THEY HAVE KILLED MY FAM-" he then slumped dead. A red patch on his chest telling all. All hotel guests were ordered back inside and not to talk about the incident. The poor man, killed for wanting to escape a tyrannical dictator.

10/11/07:
Today we saw another body. Yet this one was on the beach. We were paddling and wave jumping when Ivan saw something dark floating in the water. Assuming it to be a piece of driftwood, he went out to gather it in for work on a sandcastle later. It was a body. We called over a guard who promptly sealed off the beach, and all surrounding beaches. He said that all will be explained in the Echo tomorrow. But with the Echo's track record, how much is "all"?

11/11/07:
Today was our last official day of staying in Exilia. The Echo carried the story of the bodies washing up on the shore, apparently they are of Democratian Origin...wherever that is. Apparently Exilia nuked them. Millions of them. Killed. The island sank into the sea. We were close to tears at the thought of it, but did not let them show. We left the hotel late at night. As the coach stopped for a rest break, we made out getaway into the forest by the roadside. We are now fugitives.

12/11/07:
In the forest we found a most horrific thing. A prison camp. It was early morning, we had ben running all night, when we came upon the wire mesh fence. We wondered why it was there, when we saw them coming. The prisoners inside the compound, marching around the inside of the fence. Weak, malnourished, abused. This is one location the tourist guide did not tell us about. We dived behind bushed to avoid being spotted. Later in the day we managed to interview a prisoner through the fence, when his guard was on a break. He told us he was in there simply for querying the price of petrol at a state owned petrol station. His friend, an elderly man was in for "looking suspicious on government property". We couldn't face it any longer and left.

13/11/07:
We skirted the outskirts of Exa today. The "slums". And they were slums. People barely had houses, they were living in drains! On streets! up trees! We narrowly missed being seen by a police car, in our current unwashed state with suspicious bags there's every possibility we could be arrested and imprisoned. We then made our way into the Exilian highlands, to investigate the wine shortage.

14/11/07:
Today we saw the full extent of the wine shortage, and learned its cause. The Exilian Counter Terrorist forces, claiming that enemies of state were sheltering in vinyards as a pretence to increase wine prices, burned and destroyed over 80% of all Exilian vinyards. The highlands are dismal, grey and black scorched patches, closed farms, refugees migrating towards Exa. As we progressed further and higher it became colder. And still we continue...

15/11/07:
We found a missile silo. Well, LOTS of misslie silos. In a snow covered field near the centre of the island, adjacent to a military base. We saw them, and they saw us. we are now wanted by the law. This is being written in a burnt out shell of a house, near another prison camp. A patrol of guards passed us by not 10 minutes ago we were lucky to escape. We managed to capture a lone guard out on patrol. It turned out he wasn't a guard. He was an escapee from the camp. He had knocked out a guard and stolen his equipment. In the bag we noticed a distince absence of Calluna, the popular painkiller. He explained about the ban, and that anyone found in possesion of it was packed off to the prison camps. There are dozens all over the country. We must now carry on our journey without any sleep, the boat leaves the day after tomorrow.

16/11/07:
We made it back to Exa today with out fellow fugitive. Our faces were plastered on the walls of government buildings. We have been rumbled, they know we're journalists! And Boo journalists at that! All non-Echo journalists are banned in Exilia. It's a sad state of affairs. We were sheltered by a friendly family in the slums. Everyone here wishes for a truly democratic and republican society. We can hope one day they get it.

17/11/07:
Today was our last day. We are writing this on a covered cargo boat bound for Ostentia, carrying Zog II's supplies he needs. We have been smuggled aboard in a cargo container reserved for the Echo. A single copy gets its own cargo container, complete with furnishings better than found in the slums! We were smuggled in by a friendly dock hand. Now we are in international waters, free from Zog's tyrranical rule.

We cannot begin to list all the violations we have seen. These words were written briefly and in secrecy. We have risked our lives in the course of bringing just, uncensored news. We hope we have openes your eyes about the so called "Fair and Just" Nation of Exilia,

Ivan Borstovsky and Elaine India




Remarkable Discovery by Boo Labs

Boo Labs recently unveiled their latest breakthrough, a man-sized ad-hoc quantum tunnel through physical space with possible applications as a shower curtain. This phenomenon was discovered by a subsidiary of Boo Labs, Window Science, which has a ODoD contract and freedom from the Government Performance and Results Act. Window Science is also responsible for creating the main part of the GLaBOOS system. The Window Science Handheld Portal Device exploits this phenomenon, and this science could save millions of lives. Unfortunatly, government legislation, passed by the F&V=P Party in secret, prevents this perfectly safe device from being mass produced, and the avenue of research being studied.


The Apeiron Argus - Big Boo's watching you.

A Product of Boo Media ~ Unbiased views, with Boo Media News.
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Admin
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As usual, the administrator would like to remind all members that any information about Exilia and/or Democratia not from an official source should be discounted. The administrator would also like to remind members that the statute book will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. :)
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Inevitable
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Commoncold0
Nov 18 2007, 05:12 PM
As usual, the administrator would like to remind all members that any information about Exilia and/or Democratia not from an official source should be discounted. The administrator would also like to remind members that the statute book will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. :)

In the event that the Statute Book does speak, the Political Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
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Inevitable
Nov 18 2007, 05:14 PM
Commoncold0
Nov 18 2007, 05:12 PM
As usual, the administrator would like to remind all members that any information about Exilia and/or Democratia not from an official source should be discounted. The administrator would also like to remind members that the statute book will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. :)

In the event that the Statute Book does speak, the Political Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.

Heh, I'd make a great insane super computer thingy. :D

Although I'd never kill anyone just to get my latest rail privatisation bill through parliament. Probably.
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Inevitable
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Commoncold0
Nov 18 2007, 05:16 PM
Inevitable
Nov 18 2007, 05:14 PM
Commoncold0
Nov 18 2007, 05:12 PM
As usual, the administrator would like to remind all members that any information about Exilia and/or Democratia not from an official source should be discounted. The administrator would also like to remind members that the statute book will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. :)

In the event that the Statute Book does speak, the Political Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.

Heh, I'd make a great insane super computer thingy. :D

Although I'd never kill anyone just to get my latest rail privatisation bill through parliament. Probably.

CC0 on Pokemaniac John's demands for a dictatorship: "This next bill is impossible. Make no attempt to pass it."
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Cieran
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I'm pretty sure there was some kind of BOOK left behind in Democratia, which CC0 used to throw at people...
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Inevitable
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Cieran
Nov 18 2007, 05:26 PM
I'm pretty sure there was some kind of BOOK left behind in Democratia, which CC0 used to throw at people...

Boo Labs found it. It's currently being copied and placed in the Statute Core of GLaBOOS computers.
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HRH King Zog II
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An investigation by an independant source actually revealed that Ivan and Elaine actually caught the wrong flight and ended up in Nellapaland
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Cieran
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Then explain why the people spoke Exilian, the capital city was Exa and the coach they were on said Exilian Deluxe Holiday Tours?...
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Inevitable
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HRH King Zog II
Nov 18 2007, 05:42 PM
An investigation by an independant source actually revealed that Ivan and Elaine actually caught the wrong flight and ended up in Nellapaland

It's CC0's job to make up places, not yours.
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HRH King Zog II
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Inevitable
Nov 18 2007, 05:43 PM
HRH King Zog II
Nov 18 2007, 05:42 PM
An investigation by an independant source actually revealed that Ivan and Elaine actually caught the wrong flight and ended up in Nellapaland

It's CC0's job to make up places, not yours.

And I thank CC0 for the suitably silly name
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Inevitable
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Carefully avoiding Cieran's accurate statement I see.
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HRH King Zog II
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Cieran
Nov 18 2007, 05:43 PM
Then explain why the people spoke Exilian, the capital city was Exa and the coach they were on said Exilian Deluxe Holiday Tours?...

Calluna induced hallucination. The Calluna naturally caused the Loyal Boo journalists to see what they wanted to see.
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Cieran
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We don't even have a Boo Labs distribution centre in Nellapaland, and Calluna can't be taken through customs...
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Inevitable
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HRH King Zog II
Nov 18 2007, 05:45 PM
Cieran
Nov 18 2007, 05:43 PM
Then explain why the people spoke Exilian, the capital city was Exa and the coach they were on said Exilian Deluxe Holiday Tours?...

Calluna induced hallucination

Calluna does not induce hallucinations. It destroys them.
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