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The Apeiron Argus; Issue 5
Topic Started: Dec 16 2007, 09:30 PM (233 Views)
Inevitable
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WOBBUFFET!
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The Apeiron Argus (Help us help you help us all by alerting the Boo Replicators to any overtly capitalist behaviour)

Media Haitus over Aspar Affair

Following the revelation of an overtly aggressive move by Aspar into Nellapaland, the world wide media has apparently taken a break. Though some sources claim it is due to other reasons, the Argus is certainly one of the afflicted newspapers, hence belated issue 5.

Though the government has not, officially, commented on the affair, inside sources claim the government is taking pursuing as neutral as possible role.




Aspar, a conversation with our new friends

Once our leaders released the first information about Aspar, Boo Media began to express extreme interest in this communist nation. The Apieron Argus was therefore given funding to produce a unique report on our fellow country. What follows is the report compiled by the award winning journalists, Ivan Borstovsky and Elaine India.

09/12/07
Today we arrived at our the capital. We were greeted by a group from the Asparan Media Board, who immediately began our insightful tour of the capital. They informed us that Boo Media representatives were always welcome and they the Chairman himself had agreed to an interview. Emboldened by this, we asked about accessibility to areas of the city, having been fooled before in our previous report. They told us we could go anywhere we wished and ask anything. Thing were looking up in Aspar.

10/12/07
This morning we awoke in the 5 star hotel the Asparan government had forced upon us. Though we suspected bribery, once we left the building we were allowed to go anywhere we wished and the Media Board guides assisted in our search for knowledge. While wandering the suburbs of the city, we saw much of what some would consider suffering. Despite this, the population seemed content, and in a carefully orchestrated interview, which the Board knew nothing about, we discovered this was because they were. The Asparan Government, whatever else it can be called, was fair. There was no exploitation and the justice system was so all-pervasive that crime was a virtual unknown.

11/12/07
Today was the day of our interview with Chairman Boris Rapachev. We were led into his office, where he greeted us heartily. Looking around the room, we saw something quite unexpected. Or to put it a more accurate way, we didn’t see. Having seen the poverty in the suburbs, we had anticipated the lush finery that often goes with being in office. None of this. His office was sparsely furnished at best. Portraits of previous leaders lined the walls and the chairs which had clearly been brought in specially were the only signs of richness. We immediately began the interview:

ELAINE: We were wondering what your opinions of Ostentia and her government were.

BORIS: Aspar is particularly glad that your country chose to open relations with us. When your party of explorers arrived in our capital, we were, at first slightly worried. Especially when we heard they were sent by a monarchist. However, once we were contacted by your establishment, we learnt of their replacement and soon saw the worth of our original contact. To hear the Boo Party was still going strong in other countries was great news to us.

IVAN: I’m sorry, what do you mean by that?

BORIS: The Communist Party, us, was, in many ways, derived from the Boo Party of Aspar. Around 60 years ago they were in power, but were blamed for a terrible disaster. An attack which they never fully recovered from. In the next election, they lost spectacularly and disbanded. Aspar’s seat of power was then taken by the foul Democrat Party, who destroyed all the hard work of the glorious Boo Party by privatising everything. In the face of this horror, many members of the Boo Party reunited under the Communist Party flag and began a campaign to reinstate communism. After two monstrous terms, the Democrat Party were removed from office, and we’ve been running this country ever since.

IVAN: Excellent! Perhaps Aspar can fill in some missing information from the Boo Party’s history then. We understand that several politicians are very interested in such things. A lost chapter found is most pleasing.

BORIS: Certainly, I will inform the appropriate people.

ELAINE: And what do the people of Aspar think about us?

BORIS: *shifts uneasily* Not all the populace share our enthusiasm. Though the majority do, some believe that getting in contact with a Boo Party run government may be disastrous. Furthermore, they wonder about whether you can assist with a problem concerning Nellapaland. We believe your government pursues a neutral stance to all countries it encounters, and by assisting us you would endanger you relations with Empthrinia and Eronam. We are saddened by these thoughts; though likely true, the Asparan government understands your position. The Nellapalese concerns have wide reaching effects and Aspar hopes to quell dangers to its borders and those of other countries. In addition, we have yet to see what you can offer us in terms of trade. But are hopeful that this relationship will prove beneficial.

IVAN: Thank you Chairman. You have proved most helpful.

After the interview, we were given the opportunity to stay for a few more days, however out funding from Boo Media was almost dry and did not wish to cause the Asparan government to pay for all our visit, so left the next day.




Boo Labs profits sky-rocket

Boo Labs broke numerous records this month by making millions. Figures now suggest that 1 household in 3 has at least 2 Boo Labs products. The success of the BooOS has spread far and wide, with it quickly having become the second most successful Operating System in the country, after the established Doorway OS. Other sales include an increase in Calluna purchases, though the Ostentia branch of Boo Labs cannot confirm where this is happening, however it is widely assumed to be a result of a lifting of a ban in Exilia. Meanwhile, Boo Cleaner recently sky-rocketed in opinion polls and remains a massive source of income for Boo Labs.

Regular customer of Boo Labs, the Boo Party, have also made a large purchase to contribute to this: The Boo Replicators. Already this communist force has proven to be highly effective at its tasks, apprehending 5 capitalist criminals in one day.

Boo Labs have already promised something special for the holiday season, but with that date fast approaching, sceptics wonder if Boo Labs can really pull of a spectacular ending to a spectacular year.




The Apeiron Argus - Too good for normal mottos.

A Product of Boo Media ~ Unbiased views, with Boo Media News.
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Hmmmm... I notice how your reporters conveniantly passed over the issue of the economy... although conditions in Aspar City are quite good.

A more accurate report than your one of Exilia. ;)


*looks forward to more*
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