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The Aurora Herald; National Edition - Issue 2
Topic Started: Dec 20 2007, 08:41 PM (64 Views)
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The Aurora Herald
By royal appointment to his majesty King Edward XI of Oredia.


F&V=P Party in Chaos as Shadow Foreign Secretary defies Opposition Leader
The Fruit&Veg=Perfection Party has been rocked by a series of high profile disputes over foriegn policy between its leader, Pokemaniac John, and its foriegn affairs spokesman, HRH King Zog II. While the party's official line on the Nellapaland crisis has been to condemn the occupation by Asparian troops, HRH King Zog II has taken the opposite stance, creating two motions in the house of Commons: the first condeming Nellapaland for its "stupidity" in allowing Aspar to invade, and the second condeming Aspar for withdrawing its forces. Not suprisingly, both motions were defeated. These very public disagreements have led to suggestions that all is not well within the party.

When asked to comment on the dispute, HRH King Zog II replied "Donkey Banana pizza. Extreme thermonuclera recession underneath adminstrative flibble. Zop.". Pokemaniac John, however, did release this statement: "The division over the Asparian invasion of Nellapaland probably comes of King Zog's eccentricity. As this event proves, he can sometimes be a bit.... a bit different in his thinking, let's say. Despite this though, the majority of his motions are perfectly sound, and he is a great politition. I'm most glad to have him in my party, and I really don't think the division over this issue will be at all damaging.".

The government, however, believe that the opposition cannot merely brush this dispute off. The Prime Minister, Inevitable, told the Herald that "It's always been clear how split the F&V=P party have been. The moment HRH King Zog II joined they split. Their policies are too radically different. The unity which the Boo Party has, had and always will have, I fear, be unique. The current Aspar crisis is a sign of this.".

Whether these disputes will lead to deeper divisions within the party remains to be seen.


Anicent Map "A Fake"
The academic world is uproar tonight as it emerged that Dr Jones, a professor at Aurora University and one of Ostentia's leading historians, faked several pieces of historical evidence, including the Ancient Map that this paper reported on in the previous issue. When asked why he did it, the faked historian replied "I just wanted attention... nah, who am I kidding? I did it all for the money!". In addition to the map, many of his previous findings are now being disputed: this includes the theory that Exilia is located in the seas north of Ostentia. Historical opinion is expected to return to the previous theory that it lies to the west.


Letters to the Editor
Quote:
 
Sir,
There would appear to be several inaccuracies in the "ancient map" your newspaper reported in your last issue. For one thing, the Empthrinian Empire that appears in the south of the map was known as the Golden Empire during the Imperial Age. If I were you, I would treat Dr Jone's findings with a healthy pinch of scepticism.
Yours,
Dr Smith

Quote:
 
Sir
In her letter (issue 1), Peggy Magpie claims that the Oredian monarchy puts us out of touch with the rest of Ostentia. Well considering that the rest of Ostentia has elected a government that refuses to condemn the invasion of Nellapaland despite strong public anger, I would say that it is a good thing that we are distinct from the rest of Ostentia! Our King was right to question the government's silence over the issue - if he was gone, who else would have spoken out? Not our governor, that's for certain.
Yours,
Andrew Grenmoore

If you wish to write into the Aurora Herald, simply contact the editor via postal messaging (PM).




The Aurora Herald: informing the nation since 1735.
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The Argus has better mottos.
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