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| The Apeiron Argus; Issue 6 - Extra long! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 30 2007, 09:08 PM (245 Views) | |
| Inevitable | Dec 30 2007, 09:08 PM Post #1 |
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WOBBUFFET!
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The Apeiron Argus (LETS save the country) Bankers in trouble A recently released internet documentary by noted communist supporter, Nom Ormony has brought many citizens of the nations to light concerning the money system currently used. The documentary highlighted the fact that banks are in fact creating money out of nothing by loaning out money they don’t have. This system essentially means that money is debt and can only survive on the principle that there is an infinite supply of natural resources capable of being consumed. As this is not the case, the system will eventually collapse, bringing Ostentia down with it. The Boo Party has already shown support for a change in this system but currently lacks the support and finance to do so. The Apeiron Argus urges everyone to support the Boo Party in their crusade to rid Ostentia of this suicidal practice. New Religion Sweeps Ostentia A new religion, apparently originating oversees has recently swept Ostentia. Orange Catholicism, as it’s called, involves the worship of a benign and well priced deity known simply as The Orange Box. Orange Catholics live in constant fear of the satanic Combine and the flying psychic slugs, and prey for intervention by the angels of The Orange Box, which include GLaDOS, who represents truth, The Weighted Companion Cube, who represents love and friendship and the Friendly Turrets, which represent kindness, among others. Furthermore, the forever seek the messiahs, Gordon, Alyx and Chell, who they hope will save them from Damnation. Among their principal commandments is the spurning of Cake, which they believe is a lie sent to tempt them. The religious text is The Orange Catholic Bible and they resent comments about plagiarism. This religion has already proved popular with many, particularly diabetics. The Apeiron Argus is reminded that The Orange Catholic religion has absolutly no connections whatsoever with the popular Dune series of science fiction books and the name is only a coincidence. Boohistory on Board of Directors Boo Labs recently announced that ex-leader of the Boo Party and politician, Boohistory, has been elected as a member of the Boo Labs Board of Directors. Boohistory had previously had many deep ties with the company, as well as being a personal friend of the CEO. It also rumoured that she originally came up with the idea for many Boo Labs products, including the “Product of the Year”, Boo Cleaner. Exclusive Interview with The Speaker Good Evening Mr. Speaker. Let's get on with the Interview. Q: Firstly, what's your opinion of the goverment's policy concerning the "Aspar Incident"? A: I can accept the argument that it was in the national interest not to condemn Aspar. However, as other allies of Aspar such as Empthrinia were prepared to condemn the actions, I think Ostentia looked weak by remaining silent. Q: What is your impression of Boohistory's recent acceptance onto the Boo Labs Board of Directors? A: Boohistory is a very capable politician and I'm sure she'll be able to transfer those skills to the world of business. As I am myself a shareholder in Boo Labs, I hope that she'll ensure the company's continued success. Q: We understand that you will be overseeing the creation of new national factfiles for Ostentia. The question on everybody's lips, however, is how much the public will be able to participate in this? Boo Media and several other organisations and political parties have already expressed wishes to have articles, but are unsure about your allownace of them due to a so-called "fictional" nature. A: Although accuracy is a cause for concern, the main reason that I have not yet permitted such articles is so as to maintain the neutrality of the factfiles. However, once our current projects have been completed, I will look into it. In the meantime I would advise political parties and other organisations to publish their histories in the media. Q: And finally, Mr. Speaker, Why did you choose to be the oppressor of the working classes? A: Let me tell you what I believe in. I believe in a world where people are free to suceed in life based on their own merits, a world where all people are born equal and are given equal chances in life, a world where people are never discriminated against on the grounds of gender, race or even outdated concepts of class. It is my hope that one day we will achieve a fair, free, classless society in which people are treated equally and are in control of their lives. Compare that scenario then with the brutal harsh regime that is communism, where the most vulnerable members of society are constantly reminded that they are "working class" and given no freedoms. I think you'll find that it is the communists who are the true oppressors of the people you descibe as the "working classes". Advertisements ![]() ![]() ![]() The Apeiron Argus - TO THE PRESS! *Batman music*. A Product of Boo Media ~ Unbiased views, with Boo Media News. |
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| Inevitable | Dec 30 2007, 11:15 PM Post #2 |
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WOBBUFFET!
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NEWS UPDATE! Boohistory sends us exclusive photo of her relaxing in her new office behind a custom made desk. A bottle of Boo Cleaner is also seen.
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| Admin | Dec 31 2007, 06:28 PM Post #3 |
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Admin
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The moustache-shaped desk looks like a giant slug... |
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| Inevitable | Dec 31 2007, 07:04 PM Post #4 |
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WOBBUFFET!
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![]() Wash your mouth out with Boo Cleaner immediatly! |
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| Boohistory | Dec 31 2007, 07:12 PM Post #5 |
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Minister for Awesome
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Hairy desks are ftw |
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| HRH King Zog II | Dec 31 2007, 08:29 PM Post #6 |
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Waffler of the House of Boreds
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Hard to clean though. Boo cleaner takes longer than usual due to communist chit-chat with the desk. |
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| Sheepling | Dec 31 2007, 10:39 PM Post #7 |
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SURVIVOR!
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It appears that Boo is also rawking out in her new office. I challenge her to see who is the greatest at Guitar Hero III on Easy mode! THE REASON I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOW THAT I AM STRICKEN AND CAN'T LET YOU GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO |
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