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The Exilian Echo; International Edition Issue 11
Topic Started: Jan 12 2008, 08:09 PM (252 Views)
HRH King Zog II
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Waffler of the House of Boreds
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
THE EXILIAN ECHO

Due to legal proceedings by Boo Labs the publication of this issue was delayed by one week

BOO LABS! The Exclusive Inside Story!

Last week the Echo reported that it had an undercover reporter posing as a research subject in the R&D department. This week Bob Stalin reports on his experiences via his radio diary.

Monday

It was a simple poster on a wall with many other posters. But there was something about the Boo labs poster that just seemed to draw the eye... Perhaps the mysterious new Boo Labs logo on top, or maybe the promise of free cake...

Having read the poster a Boo Labs high security transport van appeared out of nowhere and I was bundled into the back of it along with 5 other innocent bystanders before being driven to the Boo Labs department of Research, Development and High Security Prison. The Welcome meeting was a bizarre and serene experience. Free food and drinks as well as hypnotic music masked the fact that all of us were to be held prisoner inside the compound for the 5 years of the contract that had been signed in our names. Mysteriously few complaints arose before we were assigned to out departments...

Tuesday

I have been assigned to the Boo Labs Biological weaponry division. The bed was hard and lumpy and there is still no sign of the free cake that was promised.
Simple medical exam today. I asked the scientists when I got my free cake but he just laughed and stuck some wierd needle in me...
Bob the guard is nice though. He played me at poker before it was time for our confinement. If only I'd brought my wallet...

Wednesday

A series of pointless exercises today on some of the most unusual sets of equipment I've ever seen. Ached all over afterward. Bob cleaned me out at poker today... the git. He must be cheating.

Thursday

Still ache all over and appear to have some sort of itchy rash... Rations are boring and I dont have any money for the vending machine...
There was a huge commotion in the other lab and my work was cancelled for the day.

Friday

Still itchy... Those infernal scientists must be using me for their own amusement... they'll pay for this... Although there are a lot less of them today. Took a look around and found a mysterious locked door marked "Cake Storage Depot". Plan to have a look inside as soon as I can force the lock

Today

Bob came round in some sort of wierd space suit to see how I was doing. Told him I was feeling a bit cold and whacked him round the head when he came into my cell. Stole his keys and headed for the Cake room. Mysterious noises are coming from inside... Arragh! Oh no! What evil is this! There is no cake! THE CAKE IS A LIE! NOTHING BUT MONSTERS! FLESH EATING ZOMBIFIED MONSTERS! IF ANYONE GETS THIs message... *Radio feed fades into static*

Boo Labs fined by advertising standards agency

Boo Labs was given at £300 million fine yesterday for its new posters advertising for test subjects in return for free cake. The Standards agency said that the posters contradicted employment law and various regulations on contracts as it did not allow readers any opt out method of recieving the free cake.

Privy Council approves military investigation of Boo Labs

Following reports of illegal, dangerous and immoral activities inside Boo Labs the Privy Council aproved full military investigation of Boo Labs Exilian Headquarters. The Speaker of the Council Denounced the Actions of Boo Labs as "Evil of the highest order which we must put every resource into stamping out". Although the Council lacks the authority to sieze Boo Labs outright without royal assent it has placed the entire complex area under martial law until Her Royal Highness returns from her tour of Fletland

The Exilian Echo and Regal News- Standing strong in tough times.
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Cieran
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Should-like-totally-be-the Prime Minister
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
What amazes me is how a written account can fade into static...
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Inevitable
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WOBBUFFET!
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I must have missed an issue. Who's "Her Royal Highness"?

Also, I'd imagine the guy was taken by another group trying to immitate the success of Boo Labs. The Boo Labs testing poster was for testing Portal technology, not biological weapons. And zombies aren't allowed in the main facilities.
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Admin
Admin
Admin
As a shareholder in Boo Labs, I can assure you that the cake is not a lie. It is served at every shareholder meeting. :)
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HRH King Zog II
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Waffler of the House of Boreds
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Inevitable
Jan 12 2008, 08:52 PM
I must have missed an issue. Who's "Her Royal Highness"?

Also, I'd imagine the guy was taken by another group trying to immitate the success of Boo Labs. The Boo Labs testing poster was for testing Portal technology, not biological weapons. And zombies aren't allowed in the main facilities.

Her Royal Highness is the current head of state of Exilia who CC0 refuses to tell me the name of
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Inevitable
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WOBBUFFET!
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HRH King Zog II
Jan 13 2008, 10:31 AM
Her Royal Highness is the current head of state of Exilia who CC0 refuses to tell me the name of

I see what you did there!
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HRH King Zog II
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Waffler of the House of Boreds
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Inevitable
Jan 13 2008, 01:35 PM
HRH King Zog II
Jan 13 2008, 10:31 AM
Her Royal Highness is the current head of state of Exilia who CC0 refuses to tell me the name of

I see what you did there!

You do? I don't...
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Inevitable
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WOBBUFFET!
Moderator
HRH King Zog II
Jan 13 2008, 05:40 PM
Inevitable
Jan 13 2008, 01:35 PM
HRH King Zog II
Jan 13 2008, 10:31 AM
Her Royal Highness is the current head of state of Exilia who CC0 refuses to tell me the name of

I see what you did there!

You do? I don't...

i c whut u did thar

I refer to your use of reference to someone you don't know.
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