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Moulder Monthly XXXIII; Turn 33 Arrives! Winter Break Pause Begins!
Topic Started: Sat 16 Dec 2017 04:23:34 (327 Views)
Moulder Monthly

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Ikkilit Recaptured
Joy Unto Hell Pit! Just in time for the Ratzmas holidays, the HellCouncil has announced the capture of Ikkilit once more. While official information is scarce, it has become clear that Ikkilit was actually freed by a small and well-armed group of dirty socialists, who had been plotting to force him to use his bombing know-how to launch a bloody revolution. The details of Ikkilit's recapturing remain largely secret as well, as operations to capture more socialists are still underway, but what Hell Pit can know is that the new Master of the Hunt, Malkior the Silent, played a large role in organizing a man-hunt, alongside arcanist Enginseers and members of the Holy Inquisition of Mutae, that eventually led to the terrorist's capture.

A very public and brutal execution has been scheduled for Turn 34, with Victor's beast Reginald claiming the glory of execution! Every denizen of Hell Pit is compelled to watch the execution, either in person or via Farsqueaker.

Socialists Plotting Revolution!
Che Krizera, the current leader of the Freedom Fighters - a filthy socialist group plotting to overturn Hell Pit's Mutae-ordained hierarchy - has had his bounty raised to 2500 Tokens following his recent surge in activity, and any information leading to the capture of any Freedom Fighter organizer will be rewarded with a sum of at least 200 Tokens, and maybe more. Socialist activity has escalated dramatically in the past few days, with a record-breaking number of robberies across the city. Investigators have determined that these stolen funds have been used to bribe weapons-makers and weak-willed Moulders into creating an army and armoury. The location of these two collections remains unknown, but Inquisirats have been sniffing around the lower levels of Hell Pit.

More worrisome, of course, was the Ikkilit kidnapping plot, wherein Ikkilit was kidnapped by several Freedom Fighters and turned to making more bombs for the socialists. Ikkilit was captured, of course, but it looks like he may have taught some of the socialists how to make his deadly bombs before he was caught.

Perhaps most worrisome has been =][=REDACTED=][=, as well as the recent call for revolution that has been circling. Pamphlets have been distributed across the city, and speakers have been speaking in public fora, and even briefly a farsqueaker frequency was taken over, letting the people know that the Freedom Fighters will be preparing for a Revolution on Turn 4=][=REDACTED=][=, and are calling for everyone to =][=REDACTED=][= when they do!

The HellCouncil has, naturally, in response been cracking down on socialists, but every Moulder, Servitor, Hunter, and Enginseer in Hell Pit needs to do their part to stop the sharing menace! After all, remember, in the pursuit of Mutae's greatest glory, sharing is not caring!

Ratzmas Cometh!
The holidays are rapidly approaching, with Ratzmas nearly upon us! Remember that this turn, Turn 33, is the last turn to enter the Ratzmas Pageant and Ratzmas Tournaments, for special prizes only available during Ratzmas! The Ratzmas Tournament will also have a team of healers nearby, so no injuries will be suffered by any beasts entered into it!

Remember also to hang up and check your stockings with care, for Saint Ratolas has been sighted about, and he'll likely leave presents for all of the naughty Moulders around Hell Pit!

Rapscallions Kill Moulders
The lower levels of Hell Pit have been full of moral decay of late, so it should come as no surprise that a gang calling themselves, with a heavy tinge of self-mockery, "the Rapscallions," have been gaining power exponentially in the last few days. Led by two former pitfighting beasts - a man-thing named Colin and a yet-unnamed many-limbed dwarf - these "Rapscallions" have made it their mission to free the beasts - especially sentient ones - held "captive" by Moulders for =][=REDACTED=][=.

These Rapscallions may be working with socialists, as they have similar goals. Most disturbingly, two Moulders have been killed by this errant gang - Gorgoth the Vile and Vekerovitch Three-Snout - and all of their beasts freed by Colin and the unnamed Dwarf, adding to their numbers. Likely they plan on striking again soon, so lock up your labs!

Victor von Hohenfeld and the Goblin Seductress
Exclusive to the Moulder Monthly is a letter our office received from an infamous goblin prostitute by the name of "Grinnin' Green!" She has penned a letter to the Monthly's intrepid reporters, and sent it to us through an anonymous source, detailing the many lascivious and lewd encounters that she has had with the rising Moulder star, Victor von Hohenfeld. The Moulder in question, a man-thing who has made surprising friendships among the ranks of the Inqusition, has yet to be reached for comment.

The letter we received is included below:

As you can see, the Goblin alleges that she has been in a long-term, well-paying relationship with Victor for many years now, and that he uses her to indulge in his =][=REDACTED=][=. For many on the man-thing community, Victor has become something of a folk hero, and already the revelations that he has been carrying on a sordid relationship with a member of a hated, green-skinned species has created a backlash. Authorities have made no comment on the matter, but it seems likely that the Inquisition will distance itself from the man-thing if these allegations prove to be true.

Grinnin' Green also wants you to know you can contact her pimp, or else Shifty Goldgrabb, for a good time.

Tyranid Attack
And as a final blow against the good character of the lower levels of the city, it seems that there have been some Tyranid stowaways! The lab of one Moulder Dumbrayne the Foule was attacked by a small force of the Tyranid breed known as "Genestealers," and while the Moulder managed to escape, his beasts were all stolen away. How the Tyranids snuck on to the Isle remains a mystery, but be wary of traveling alone, lest the Genestealers snatch you away!

Korr's Equipment Stolen
In a shocking turn of events, it seems that Korr Ventariis' prime stash of Hunting Gear has been stolen! The now-deceased Master of the Hunt was infamous for his incredibly effective Hunting equipment, including specialized nets, traps, and guns for taking down beasts with minimal damage to the goods. His largest treasury of equipment, hidden away from his jealous rivals within the Hunter Caste, was located by Malkior the Silent, who found the entire thing to be completely empty of both tokens and Hunting tools! Malkior has condemned this act of thievery, calling for the thief to come forward and return the tools to its rightful owner - himself - but the rest of the HellCouncil has neglected to speak out on the matter.

Lizard-things in the Underworld
There has been a seismic shift in the underworld of Hell Pit, as the Blackhand Network and other Skaven organizations working there have been slowly driven out by, of all things, lizard-things. Of particular note is the Shadowscale Network, led by the enigmatic Shadowscale, and a new player in the underworld scene: Tex'Hallik the tainted. While Skaven groups are becoming increasingly hostile towards lizard-things encroaching on their territory, there are rumours of goblin kingpins - such as Shifty Goldgrabb - reaching out to the rising lizard crimelords to take on the Skaven together.

Editorial: Bah Humbug! To the Warp with Ratzmas!
by Skrooj McRat

Ratzmas is a plague upon Hell Pit! It was once celebrated by those primitive, earlier Skaven who were slaves to Skavenblight and a god that they did not even create, and Saint Ratolas is a symbol of this return to darker times. Ratzmas is not of Mutae, and should be expunged from Skavendom! Besides, the exchange of gifts is un-Skavenlike, and goes against all that Hell Pit stands for: it rewards everyone, not just the competent! Hell Pit must be made strong through competition and strife, not through cooperation and gift-giving! Bah Humbug!

Have any counterpoints? Send them to 169 Screaming Bell Way, Palace Outskirts!

Want anything? Want to sell something? Look no further than the new Moulder Monthly Classifieds! To post an ad in the Monthly, please PM Moulder Monthly with your desired ad wording.
  • The Beastgrinder - Got old beasts using up space in your lab? Sell them to the Beastgrinder, where we'll break your beast down into its component parts for a sum of tokens! For less tokens, we're also happy to try and salvage valuable parts of a beast for you, and get them back. PM Moulder Monthly with the name of the beast and any parts you want to salvage, and we'll give you a quote!

  • Bodyguard Wanted - Wanted: Small, discrete, yet powerful beast capable of defending important business-rat in public spaces. Up to four beasts wanted. Up to 150250 tokens per bodyguard, if acceptable. PM Moulder Monthly to negotiate.

  • Thief Deterrent Wanted - Vendor in the Bloodyface Market having goods stolen on a regular basis. Seeking beast able to detect, spot, and kill thieves. Willing to pay up to 200350 Tokens for a good beast; PM Moulder Monthly with beasts or proposals.
  • Kriz II/Che Krizera: 2500 Tokens
  • Morskittar the Mechamind: 2000 Tokens.
  • Rab Alramadi: 1500 Tokens

Rumour Mill
  • Sir Bacon is becoming a Were-tyranid!
  • Franck is an loyal and honorable lad. Disgusting!
  • The socialists will rise on Turn 40!
  • Tyranid infiltrators are forming a Tyranid Cult in Hell Pit!
  • Small-time Moulder is using necromancy to rebuild lost homeland!
  • Tex'Hallik and Shifty Goldgrabb are in a secret war to take control of a chunk of Hell Pit's underworld!
  • The socialists will rise on Turn 42!
  • Do you remember the flames? The flames remember you.
Got any sweet, juicy rumours to spread? Fear not, we have an outlet for you! Send any rumours you may have happened to stumble upon to the Moulder Monthly, at this address: 169 Screaming Bell Way, Palace Outskirts. Make sure to label your submission "Rumour Mill Submission, Turn #".

Ratzmas Tournament!
Ho ho ho! Saint Ratolas is coming, and with, the famed Ratzmas Tournament! Enter any beast at all here, in this tournament with beasts guaranteed to emerge uninjured, and with Ratzmas-themed prizes distributed upon your elimination from the tournament (or winning the top spot). Entries close at the end of this turn, Turn 33, so enter as soon as possible! There are no risks; the tournament will be fought during the winter semi-hiatus, beginning on the week of Christmas/Ratzmas itself! Final entries are due by Christmas Day (though please enter before Christmas so you can enjoy it if you float that way :P), so you have one last turn of orders to modify beasts before then.
Make sure that all Mutation/Training orders pertaining to the Ratzmas Tournament are marked by "RATZMAS" in the title, otherwise they will not be done until the end of the Winter Break session. No Sabotage will be permitted in this tournament; any Special Actions sent to affect the tournament will result in the Grinch stealing all of your gifts. :)
Enter here!

Rosko's Ratzmas Pageant
Sign-ups are now open for the Ratzmas pageant! Though Ratzmas itself is far away, Rosko's wanted to give every Moulder a head-start. For this pageant, enter any beast - made specifically for this pageant - that demonstrates the true spirit of Ratzmas! Sign-ups end at the end of Turn 33! So, like with the above, this is your last chance to enter, and please mark all Mutation Orders with a RATZMAS so they get done! Entries for this are also due by Christmas Day. A large prize pot - including tokens and a special, rare, Ratzmas-only beast and item, are prizes! Go here to sign up!
Bonus: Rosko's Showroom staff have announced that they will permit beasts entered into the general Ratzmas Tournament to also enter this pageant, making them exceptions to the "new beast only" rule, and if you had already created separate beasts for this pageant and the Ratzmas Tournament already, both may be entered! Enter publicly at the Showroom!

The Squiggening
The second round of the tournament has finished, with a good showing by all beasts! Going on to the final bracket of the tournament are three Moulders, one from WyrdTech, one from Corpus Mutae, and one from the Shattered Knights! Notable here is both of Franck's beast earning themselves spots on the final bracket, giving him a very good chance to win!
Tekris Zimkus - Gnibble vs. Franck - The Gifted
Guldan - Bubbles vs. Franck – Nhub-Squiggurath

Feast of Mutae
The tournament has begun, with currently still standing:
  • Franck Feldscherr - Daisy!
  • Sho-Yin - Nightmare
  • Guldan - Beltcher
  • Neesha - şobolan
  • Victor - Bisc
  • Savannah - Grando
  • Sinclaw Darklurker - Pumpkin
The next round will be fought over the Winter Break, at which point tokens for all beasts killed will be added!

Challenge of Champions
Sign-ups for this unique tournament have ended, and challenges have been issued! Send in your tournament-specific orders this turn, because the first round of this tournament begins Turn 33, at the end of the Winter Break! The bracket is as follows:
Sir Bacon - Tuber Aestivum vs. Sinclaw - Gitty Smash Face
Kretchitt - Mangler vs. Savannah - Gerald
Franck - Muthael vs. H. P. Morkraft - Shoggoth
Lacunae - Samyaza vs. Victor - Veetu
Gragg'Dvorak - Spooky Herechik vs. Guldan - Morax

The way that this bracket will work is that following the first round of fights, another round of challenges will immediately begin. When there is only one person left over, that person may choose a still living beast from the defeated challengers (and also not the one they just defeated) to challenge once again, giving them a second chance! This will create three matches, and three winners, after which the exact same process will repeat itself, yielding two matches, and two winners; and then the championship will be as normal!

The Cloak and Dagger Tournament
Can you create the ultimate assassin? Find out in this unique tournament! Sign ups have ended; those entered are:
  • Sinclaw Darklurker - Kirtlak
  • Sho-Yin - Thalasso
  • Franck - The Redeemed
  • Victor - Rackish
  • Neesha - Caracatiță Lipitoare
If you intended to enter and are not listed here, contact Tournaments or a Packlord ASAP! This tournament will begin next turn over the Winter Break, with each beast attempting to infiltrate and assassinate an old-world "Skaven Chieftain" in his lair! Stay tuned!

To celebrate the successful conclusion of the Hunt, the HellCouncil is organizing the Tyrannofest! Enter any beast that uses a creature captured from the Hunt as a base creature; additionally, any creature made entirely from Hunt loot will get a bonus! Sign-ups have been extended, and now end Turn 34; head over here to sign up!

Keep an Eye Out For:
-The Hellbowl: Blood Bowl and Rat Ogres in Hell Pit! Teams of beasts playing Mutae's favorite non-pitfighting bloodsport!
-Round Rat-bin: Haven't you always wanted to lead an opponent's beast into battle? Maybe make a few modifications to it? Look for sign-ups for this popular tournament as the Challenge of Champions winds down!


Mutae! Mutae! Mutae!

Sorry for the delay, as always, but here's the Monthly!

Turn 33's Orders Phase begins now. This is the last set of orders to be submitted before the New Year! This set of orders will be used to test the waters for new rules changes, and will be returned to you at the end of the rules change period. You will have until the end of Christmas Day to submit these orders, but for the love of Mutae please don't spend Christmas day writing them, and if you need a little more time just let us know and we're happy to accept late orders this turn, as most orders won't be resolved until the end.

The Ratzmas Tournament will be fought in its entirety over Winterbreak. Sign-ups for it close at the end of the Orders Phase of Turn 33. Any Training or Mutation Orders related to it must be marked as "RATZMAS" in the subject title in order to be completed before the tournament starts.

The Winterbreak Rules Update has also now begun! On your end, you won't see too much (aside from teasers, or occasionally us asking your input if you're good :P ), aside from the Ratzmas RP and Tourneys.

Then we will have (roughly and subject to change):
Week of Dec 18th: Light Rules Updating.
Week of December 25: Packlords will be on break, and so should you; occasional Ratzmas updates.
Week of January 1: Heavy Packlord Rules Updating Begins.
Week of January 8: Heavy Packlord Rules Update Continues!
Week of January 15: Rules Update wraps Up and new (Turn 34) Orders are Processed.
Week of January 22: New Turn (Turn 35) Begins. If need be, Packlords might take another week to work out rules, but hopefully not. :)

Hopefully the chronology is clear (now, after much confusion :P ), but please feel free to ask here if it is not!
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Well, I guess I can stop my search for Ikkilit :P
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s'neek'eep @ Jun 19 2007
07:42 PM
kinda went outside the box a little...
The Lord Glod
It's the Ratzmas Fluff Challenge again!!! :D

Come enter in the fluff section. Prizes to be won!
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The Broken Blade

Just a quick thing, i think my mutation from last turn got missed out.. i was going to include a note in this turns mutation action.

You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, 'cause you can never predict if they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
Jorry Potsie
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I also just noticed that I didn't get any of my loot from the hunt yet :(

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Marquis de

That moment when you're bsing around and your buddy drops a nostalgia bomb which makes you laugh (and feel a little guilty) :

In these exciting times I don't think enough people are meeting their religiously mandated sleep quotas.
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Looks like the beasts got mine in the hive ship and the commies looted my lab. I'll just lurk here...
Brother skaven, consider this. Until the coming of Vermek Skab, the Council of Thirteen placed me in command of this army. Since Vermek Skab is sadly no longer with us, the leader's place in the rear must still fall to me by edict of the council. Of course, if any of you wishes to challenge the council's ruling I will notify them of this at once.
—Thanquol, Skaven Grey Seer
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[ *  *  * ]
If you message a Packlord I’m sure they’ll pull your lab out of the freezer just as you left it! Although things are a bit subdued at the moment, being a Holiday and all.

Oh, and welcome back! :)
Tournament Victories:
Grand Opening Bout! (Quadra)
Warpfest (Iggy the Fool)

Event Victories:
Ratzmas 2017 Fluff Competition
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Marquis de

Welcome back Lil.

Things player-side have been pretty quite as the packlords update the rules. There's a little in character RP thread going on, which you can join by PMing Mork, over in Fiction and Fluff.

looking at:
Week of December 25: Packlords will be on break, and so should you; occasional Ratzmas updates.
Week of January 1: Heavy Packlord Rules Updating Begins.
Week of January 8: Heavy Packlord Rules Update Continues!
Week of January 15: Rules Update wraps Up and new (Turn 34) Orders are Processed.

and i dotn see anythign of ratmaz tournament. if i read timeline ie xpecte dit:Week of December 25: occasional Ratzmas updates.

when we see it?:)
long live shattered knights, long live the superiour guild
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The Broken Blade

Soon... I predict things happening Sunday night

You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, 'cause you can never predict if they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
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Marquis de

I haven't recovered yet from our last meme-agedon. Think we're just going to have to wait it out unless someone else wants to carry that dubious torch. :P
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Yay! My Rat Ogre! ^_^
Sorry, December and early January has a tendency to sucker-punch me. :p And every year, I think it won't. :P One of these days I'll learn. :)

I'm working on Ratzmas right now; I've been focusing more on streamlining rules, so Ratzmas fell off my radar a bit... that and the Feast of Mutae should be coming in the near future; I'm aiming for early next week, but let's see how things go. :)
Novels Written and For Sale: List
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UE Pub Fight Deaths: 334. Pillz and Pyllz are © by Morkskittar
Dark Lord Nihilus Regarding Me: "You're the love child of Vishnu and Pegasus."

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