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A Ratzmas Carol; RP Thread
Topic Started: Sat 23 Dec 2017 04:31:02 (1,204 Views)
Morkskittar
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Yay! My Rat Ogre! ^_^
Packlord
A RATZMAS CAROL
A Ratzmas Roleplaying Thread

Missed the Sign-Ups? Here's how you can still participate!
'Twas the night before Ratzmas, when all through the Pub,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a grub;
The rat-sacks were hung by the beast-pits with care,
In hopes that Saint Ratolas soon would be there;

The Skaven were sprawled in a drunken stupor,
While visions of pitfights played through their torpor;
And Oksor at the bar, and lemons on the floor,
All settling down for a long winter's snore.

When out on the streets there arose such a clatter,
Oksor sprang from the bar to see what was the matter.
Away to the doorway he ran; very rude,
Tore off the doorknobs and splintered the wood.

The glow of the warp on the new-fallen snow
Showed the horror of death to objects below,
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight dying Rat Ogres,

With a little old Skaven, so nasty and mean,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Ratolas.
More rapid than harpies his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, CRUSHER! now, LANCER! now, BRAWLER and SLITHER!
On, VOMIT! on STUPID! on, BITER and BLITZER!
To the top of the pub! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As bloodsprays that before the Inqusirats fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the Rat Ogres they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, Oksor heard on the roof
The slashing and clawing of each little... hoof.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Ratolas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with bloodstains and soot;
A bundle of gifts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they raged! they were all a-gazing!
His claws were like swordblades, his fangs like a razor!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the fur on his face was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a bloody face and a sliced-open belly,
That shook, when he collapsed, like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right nasty old rat,
And Oksor laughed when he saw him, and picked up his hat...


"Sir, you seem to have dropped this when you fell down our chimney," Oksor the XX said, annoyance creeping into his voice, and tossed Saint Ratolas' hat on the wheezing body lying on the floor. The rat looked up pleadingly at Oksor, and on the bar and the tables all around, sentient lemons crowded around, eyeing the downed rat. Five-second rule...

The bar was empty; Ratzmas had once been a big night at the pub, but with socialists and cultists and tyranids galore, it seemed no one wanted to go out anymore ((OOC: still in rhyming mode!)). Sitting around a trio of tables near the bar were Tirr, Lacunae, Victor, Franck, and Sinclaw. They eyed the downed rat as Oksor went back to the bar, and the lemons nudged themselves closer.

"Please," the Skaven on the floor said, softly. "I... am Saint Ratolas. Someone... attacked me, and my sleigh... and now I have gifts that I can't give away..." ((OOC: Make the rhyming stop!))

"Will you all help me up, if you please? I am afraid I can't get to my knees. Then maybe you can help me to find, the bastard that did this, and I'll whoop his behind! My Rat Ogres are wounded, and I was included, so maybe we can find a way to bring Ratzmas to all, so I can give gifts to... Horned One save me, I'm sick of these rhymes! Someone just help me up already! Ever since that blasted Raznarth took control here, everyone shoots at me whenever I go past! I'll tell you know, the other Skaven civilizations welcome me with open arms and the free stuff I bring, but Hell Pit? No! Ungrateful swine, but I'm here anyway, though I think my Rat Ogres are going to die without proper attention! And now I'm running behind on my gifts! Lend an old rat a hand, perhaps? Maybe I find some extra gifts for you, eh?"

The lemons were poised to attack...

OOC: RP start. ^_^ Just RP like you do; post actions, Mork responds, post more actions, ad nauseam. This should last until mid-January, with Morky doing his best to pop in here every other day at least, hopefully more now that he is on winter break. :P
Novels Written and For Sale: List
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UE Pub Fight Deaths: 334. Pillz and Pyllz are © by Morkskittar
Dark Lord Nihilus Regarding Me: "You're the love child of Vishnu and Pegasus."

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Stop Geen Toegang! / Complete Works of Morkskittar / Ask a Skaven! 'zodi
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Twitch
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The Broken Blade

Seeing that St Ratolus was on the move with Victor, Sinclaw stood, tossed a coin on the table for the drink, drew his second gun sword and followed Victor to the door all the time muttering quietly to himself under his breath.


You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, 'cause you can never predict if they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
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Morkskittar
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Yay! My Rat Ogre! ^_^
Packlord
A tug-of-war - virtual and somewhat material as well - ensued over Saint Ratolas, as Tirr, Franck, and Lacunae tried, at the very least, to heal his wounds before dragging him somewhere, while Sinclaw and Victor attempted to drag him immediately to the Inquisition. Sinclaw's gun-sword caused Lacunae to pause, while Franck continued to work on Ratolas' wounds even as Victor dragged him forward.

Tirr, with first aid in hand, hovered near the Saint while he replied to the elf. "Every year they attack, and every year they miss...
but not this year. It was a horrible weapon that hit me; every bullet that struck my sleigh became alive, morphing into horrible beasts that attacked me and my Rat Ogres... they became like beasts from my worst nightmares, those bullets..."

At that moment, the door that Sinclaw and Victor were dragging Saint Ratolas towards was flung open, and standing out in the cold were a female Skaven and a small fleshy mass. "It's cold," Brrx said simply, while the fleshy mass on her shoulder simply said "Gribble."

Gribble and Brrx stood in front of Victor and Sinclaw. Victor told Brrx and Gribble to move, so that they could turn the heretic in to the Inquisition.

OOC: Just so everyone knows, you are more than welcome to attack another player in this RP. There will be no permanent damage to a character or their status as a result of this RP, but combat actions are also not guaranteed to succeed; every player has about the same level of combat ability in this situation. :)
Novels Written and For Sale: List
Posted Image
UE Pub Fight Deaths: 334. Pillz and Pyllz are © by Morkskittar
Dark Lord Nihilus Regarding Me: "You're the love child of Vishnu and Pegasus."

Posted Image
Stop Geen Toegang! / Complete Works of Morkskittar / Ask a Skaven! 'zodi
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Ratty Gnawtail
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Gribble...grib...Gribble!

"Heretic? I see a poor old-rat who is dress-dressed like Saint Ratolas bleeding out, prob-probably the work of you crazed heretic hunters who have to kill-slay everything that you do not-not understand. Furthermore, I do not-not like being told to move out of the way. It's colder than steel out there and I need-want some oil for my inner gears."

"Gribble grib."

"Still don't understand you, Gribble. Something about eyeballs and eating?"

"Gribble."

"...You want to eat that old rat's eyeballs?"

Gribble nodded his body sagely.

"...I scent-knew it was a mistake bringing you..."
The (mostly) Complete Works of Ratty
Green Seer Gnawtail portrait by ShuNian)

Warlock Matik on Ratty's ideas on time manipulation
 
Red Dwarf is not a good basis for temporal mechanics :7
Sod
 
I secretly suspect that Gribble is the master moulder and Ratty is its beast. :P
Morkskittar
 
Evildorfs love you :3
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AshenEshin
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MK ULTRA - Skaven style

Tirr almost dropped the steak knife and bottle of Warpsynth he had acquired.
Worst Nightmares... Tirr's mind raced, unable to avoid the memories of helplessness and horror he had acquired at the hands of a group who dealt with nightmares. The urgency and fear he felt bled into his voice.

"Hold for a moment... We don't know the nature of those who downed the so-called Saint! This rat is making his attackers sound rather powerful and... heretical." He said this avoiding eye contact with the elf to his side.
"I'm telling you all we should keep the Saint here and send a runner or two to the authorities. We don't want to be caught in the open by a hostile group. They will be hostile if they see us with their target, heretical or not!"

Tirr's statement faded into a series of mumbled prayers to Mutae. It couldn't be who he thought it was. He had been sure he had killed them all. Now he wasn't.
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blader4411
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Lacunae
[ *  *  * ]
"I see..." Lacunae's eyes hardened, as the suspicions she had harboured seemed to be confirmed.

In the next moment her robes seemed to melt away; revealing the sleek black armor beneath, shining with the divine aura of Khaine. A coiling crown of thorns wound themselves about her, creating an array of serrated spikes. Reaching into her pocket, Lacunae opened a black vial, pouring the liquid contents over her armour - the thorns trembled as they drank. Lacunae smirked, tossing the empty bottle aside as she placed a hand on her sword-hilt, and another one a writhing metallic orb at her waist.

"Indeed, the one who came after you is very powerful, Sir Ratolas. Perhaps it would be best if you stay beside me; I am the most suited to close combat in this cohort, and you may need that protection in the trials to come."
Tournament Victories:
Grand Opening Bout! (Quadra)
Warpfest (Iggy the Fool)

Event Victories:
Ratzmas 2017 Fluff Competition
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AshenEshin
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MK ULTRA - Skaven style

"That doesn't look like a Mutaen rune... What have you done elf-thing? This is heresy! If I had suspected you would have done this I would have tried to kill-murder you myself back in the illusion-place... I should have suspected... You gave into the fear!"
Tirr recoiled as he denounced the Heretic, raising the knife to defend himself
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Sod
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Marquis de

The redolent smell of cooking bacon wafted in through the open door, bringing with it the promise of peace, pleasure and pork...
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Eom


Victor surveyed the escalating situation quickly and estimated his odds. For now Victors intentions seemed to coincide with those of Sinclaw, a powerful yet unpredictable ally. There seemed to be a momentary majority for keeping Ratolas in the pub. Tirr was right, they probably shouldn’t go out with Ratolas struggling and that freak Lacunae on their tails, and whatever had attacked Ratolas still out there. They would be slow and busy supporting Ratolas and therefore easy prey. Best to get the situation here under control first.

He quickly guided Ratolas to a corner of the pub, tying him down as securely as he could and making sure his hands and feet could still not move. He double checked to make sure no sharp objects were nearby with which Ratolas could cut his ropes.

Confident that Ratolas wouldn’t be going anywhere soon, he drew his blade and turned to face Lacunae. “In the name of Mutae and the Holy Inquisition, I condemn you for heresy!” He bellowed at the top of his lungs, the Inquisitorial =][= seemed to brighten up on his chest as he said this.
Victor von Hohenfeld
Losses: 7
Wins: 11

Tournament wins:
Execution of Ikkilit
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Ratty Gnawtail
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Gribble...grib...Gribble!

"Grib."

"Something about being confused?"

"Gribble."

"Me and you," muttered Brrx as 'Ratolas' was dragged back again and the elf-thing was called out as being a heretic for having thorn armour. "I just don't-don't 'get' these people..."

"Gribble grri gribble."

"Yes, I would like a drink, Gribble. Oksor!? A pint-thing of the house and a pint-thing of that Nuvoyan Oil. Also can some-rat explain what-what is even going on?"
The (mostly) Complete Works of Ratty
Green Seer Gnawtail portrait by ShuNian)

Warlock Matik on Ratty's ideas on time manipulation
 
Red Dwarf is not a good basis for temporal mechanics :7
Sod
 
I secretly suspect that Gribble is the master moulder and Ratty is its beast. :P
Morkskittar
 
Evildorfs love you :3
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Twitch
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The Broken Blade

Sinclaw stopped muttering and time around him seemed to slow. It took a conscious effort to slow his movements to a natural speed to avoid drawing attention to his now magically augmented reactions and body. He wasn't going to strike first but he would be the first to react if anything kicked off. Sinclaw silently moved over the the corner Victor had now deposited St Ratalous in and stood guard. He was tense and wary, but quietly confident.


You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, 'cause you can never predict if they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
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Sod
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Marquis de

One of the lemons paused, its citrine face smoothed into a slack mask of befuddled distraction.
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Tapirus
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Franck Feldscher

Franck looked around in bewilderment, as he found old allies turn on each other over such a simple and cheerful tradition. Then he took notice of the tension in the air, as every man and rat had their weapons ready. They were mere second away from an all-out brawl, he thought, worriedly noting his lack of a weapon. Without hesitation, the dwarf jumped on a table and cleared his throat.

‘What an explosive situation we find ourselves in. At this rate, nobody is going to get what they want. Not for a moment do I believe that the Saint does not have magic tricks up his sleeve, to disappear far before we take him to the Inquisition. On the other hand, many of us are zealous followers of Mutae who still value Ratolas. We risk being branded ‘heretic’ for helping a honored old rat, who symbolizes our valuable tradition. To make the situation more complicated, it appears that the Saint was attacked by the worst heretics of them all, followers of the Nightmare. All of Hell Pit wants them gone.

To resolve this situation I have the following proposal: We agree to help Saint Ratolas take revenge on his attackers and help him with his gift, on the condition that he will allow us to take him to the Inquisition. This way the Inquisition kills two birds with one stone: both the ‘big fish’ Nightmare Menagerie and the ‘heretic’ Saint Ratolas. The festive people amongst us still get to ensure a Merry Ratzmas for all and the Saint Himself gets to complete his round with some dignity.

What do you all have to say about this?
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Twitch
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The Broken Blade

Sinclaw listened without taking his eyes from the armour clad elf. What Franck said had merit though Sinclaw raised a sceptical eyebrow in response as he stepped carefully around a small wooden chair placing it between himself and the elf. To Sinclaw the atmosphere felt tangibly tense.


You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, 'cause you can never predict if they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
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Eom


"Clearly, if Ratolas could just disappear and recover his health elsewhere, as you say, he would have done so by now. Since he hasn't, I will assume that he can't. And therefore there is nothing to gain from your proposal, valued friend.

We can and will fight the Menagerie without the help of this heretic. Any intelligence of interest that he has will be tortured out of him. If he dies before we can torture him, as he himself just implied, then there is nothing lost as compared to our situation only a couple of hours ago.

Lastly, as for these 'zealous followers of Mutae who still value Ratolas' that you mention.. I am sure they will stop valuing him when they learn of the heretical words we just heard him utter. There can be no continued debate over whether or not the celebration is heretical in nature or not."


Victor positions himself so that he can address Franck while keeping an eye on both Lacunae and Ratolas. Meanwhile he surveys the pub in order to find someone who might be willing to run his message to the Inquisition in return for a bag of tokens.
Victor von Hohenfeld
Losses: 7
Wins: 11

Tournament wins:
Execution of Ikkilit
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blader4411
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Lacunae
[ *  *  * ]
Lacunae laughed, but made no other move.

"Do what you will; I still find you all wildly optimistic if you believe this night will end with a simple trip to the local Inquisition office. Or do you really believe such a massive manhunt would be launched purely to bring down a gift-giving remnant of a departed faith? There are more powers at play than anyone here understands; even you, Inquisitor Victor."
Tournament Victories:
Grand Opening Bout! (Quadra)
Warpfest (Iggy the Fool)

Event Victories:
Ratzmas 2017 Fluff Competition
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