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A Ratzmas Carol; RP Thread
Topic Started: Sat 23 Dec 2017 04:31:02 (1,202 Views)
Morkskittar
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Yay! My Rat Ogre! ^_^
Packlord
A RATZMAS CAROL
A Ratzmas Roleplaying Thread

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'Twas the night before Ratzmas, when all through the Pub,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a grub;
The rat-sacks were hung by the beast-pits with care,
In hopes that Saint Ratolas soon would be there;

The Skaven were sprawled in a drunken stupor,
While visions of pitfights played through their torpor;
And Oksor at the bar, and lemons on the floor,
All settling down for a long winter's snore.

When out on the streets there arose such a clatter,
Oksor sprang from the bar to see what was the matter.
Away to the doorway he ran; very rude,
Tore off the doorknobs and splintered the wood.

The glow of the warp on the new-fallen snow
Showed the horror of death to objects below,
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight dying Rat Ogres,

With a little old Skaven, so nasty and mean,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Ratolas.
More rapid than harpies his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, CRUSHER! now, LANCER! now, BRAWLER and SLITHER!
On, VOMIT! on STUPID! on, BITER and BLITZER!
To the top of the pub! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As bloodsprays that before the Inqusirats fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the Rat Ogres they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, Oksor heard on the roof
The slashing and clawing of each little... hoof.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Ratolas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with bloodstains and soot;
A bundle of gifts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they raged! they were all a-gazing!
His claws were like swordblades, his fangs like a razor!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the fur on his face was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a bloody face and a sliced-open belly,
That shook, when he collapsed, like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right nasty old rat,
And Oksor laughed when he saw him, and picked up his hat...


"Sir, you seem to have dropped this when you fell down our chimney," Oksor the XX said, annoyance creeping into his voice, and tossed Saint Ratolas' hat on the wheezing body lying on the floor. The rat looked up pleadingly at Oksor, and on the bar and the tables all around, sentient lemons crowded around, eyeing the downed rat. Five-second rule...

The bar was empty; Ratzmas had once been a big night at the pub, but with socialists and cultists and tyranids galore, it seemed no one wanted to go out anymore ((OOC: still in rhyming mode!)). Sitting around a trio of tables near the bar were Tirr, Lacunae, Victor, Franck, and Sinclaw. They eyed the downed rat as Oksor went back to the bar, and the lemons nudged themselves closer.

"Please," the Skaven on the floor said, softly. "I... am Saint Ratolas. Someone... attacked me, and my sleigh... and now I have gifts that I can't give away..." ((OOC: Make the rhyming stop!))

"Will you all help me up, if you please? I am afraid I can't get to my knees. Then maybe you can help me to find, the bastard that did this, and I'll whoop his behind! My Rat Ogres are wounded, and I was included, so maybe we can find a way to bring Ratzmas to all, so I can give gifts to... Horned One save me, I'm sick of these rhymes! Someone just help me up already! Ever since that blasted Raznarth took control here, everyone shoots at me whenever I go past! I'll tell you know, the other Skaven civilizations welcome me with open arms and the free stuff I bring, but Hell Pit? No! Ungrateful swine, but I'm here anyway, though I think my Rat Ogres are going to die without proper attention! And now I'm running behind on my gifts! Lend an old rat a hand, perhaps? Maybe I find some extra gifts for you, eh?"

The lemons were poised to attack...

OOC: RP start. ^_^ Just RP like you do; post actions, Mork responds, post more actions, ad nauseam. This should last until mid-January, with Morky doing his best to pop in here every other day at least, hopefully more now that he is on winter break. :P
Novels Written and For Sale: List
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UE Pub Fight Deaths: 334. Pillz and Pyllz are © by Morkskittar
Dark Lord Nihilus Regarding Me: "You're the love child of Vishnu and Pegasus."

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Stop Geen Toegang! / Complete Works of Morkskittar / Ask a Skaven! 'zodi
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Replies:
Twitch
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The Broken Blade

Sinclaw slashed at the doppelganger's neck with both swords in a wild attempt to cleave the drooling head from its body, then rolled back, guard up, incase it wasn't dead. He could hear commotion on the other side of the bar but considered it best to try and dead with one issue at a time.


You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, 'cause you can never predict if they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
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Ratty Gnawtail
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Gribble...grib...Gribble!

"Grib..."

"Steal? What-what do you m...OH!"

"Gribble."

"There-there is a problem-thing with that, Gribble. Do either of us scent-know how to drive a sleigh? And-and if we were able to fly-fly then we'd only be a target-thing for whatever brought it down."

"Gri Gribble."

"Erm...well we might as well take a look-thing at it and decide. If only to see-scent what that pig-thing wants to do." Brrx sighed and ran a paw through her head fur as the sounds of battle echoed below.

"Idiots."

"Gribble."

Action: Continue climbing to the rooftop
The (mostly) Complete Works of Ratty
Green Seer Gnawtail portrait by ShuNian)

Warlock Matik on Ratty's ideas on time manipulation
 
Red Dwarf is not a good basis for temporal mechanics :7
Sod
 
I secretly suspect that Gribble is the master moulder and Ratty is its beast. :P
Morkskittar
 
Evildorfs love you :3
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Eom



As the brass orb sailed towards him, Victor finished casting his spell. He watched in satisfaction as Lacunae stumbled and crashed into the wall. This was the time to seize her! He intended to move, but before he could the orb had made place for an Inquisirat from the Holy Church of Mutae. He spoke of treason to Mutae, and of torture.

For the briefest of moments, fear gripped Victors heart. Its icy clutches immobilised his mind, and he couldn’t do anything but stummer in response. Lacunae had fully slipped his mind. What could possibly have gone wrong? What did he accidentaly do that could be deemed heretical? This can’t be happening!

Then it struck him. This actually can’t be happening. Inquisirats don’t tend to live in brass orbs. Never mind work at the whims of a confirmed heretic of the worst kind. He looked about himself. It seems like both his allies, Tirr and Sinclaw, were beset by what the Nightmare Menagerie thought to be their worst nightmares.

His resolve in Mutae gained the upper hand in the battle that had taken place for his heart. He knew his faith to be true, his mind to be pure. There is no way in Hell Pit that the Inquisition could hold anything against him. This was just another trick from the heretic, and faith in Mutae is the only correct answer – as always.

Speaking loudly, so all can hear him, he says:
“I fear you not, false Inquisirat. My heart is pure, and impervious to the false accusations you lay against me. Now let me pass.”

With that, Victor turns and walks casually past the bar, seemingly focussed on helping out Tirr. Upon passing the Snotling, he makes a sudden attempt to grab (and torture) it.
Victor von Hohenfeld
Losses: 7
Wins: 11

Tournament wins:
Execution of Ikkilit
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blader4411
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Lacunae
[ *  *  * ]
Finally free from the confines of the Pub, Lacunae took a moment to look around - although mainly focused on the scene atop the roof, she also kept her ears open for any signs of approaching individuals. Noticing the pig-man, she waved at him, trying to catch his attention. Or perhaps, failing that, it would be better to climb up and greet him herself?
Tournament Victories:
Grand Opening Bout! (Quadra)
Warpfest (Iggy the Fool)

Event Victories:
Ratzmas 2017 Fluff Competition
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Tapirus
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Franck Feldscher

While everyone is distracted, Franck moves to Saint Ratolas and continues to 'heal his wounds', while actually cutting the ropes holding him, so that they still look tied but can be undone by the Saint himself. He quietly whispers in his ear: 'Wait for the right moment and sneak out. I'll meet you outside.'

Then he'll leave the Pub discreetly, distancing himself from the fighting and chaos.
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AshenEshin
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MK ULTRA - Skaven style

Tirr was confused at the sudden appearance of the multi-ocular and appendaged monstrosity advancing on his position. This wasn't what he feared. Was this some sort of trick? He had seen worse abominations in the remains of the heretical bombing campaign. It was unsightly and intimidating but not a phobia made manifest.
He couldn't take the chance of having it reform into what he truly feared, not in a room full of competitors and heretics. So he did what all psychologists did when confronted with a problem to big to talk through.
He turned to drink for the answers.
Using the Warpsynth still in his claws (which had miraculously avoided damage in the oncoming barrage of fire, unlike Tirr. Tirr decided there would be a formal meeting with WyrdTech Health and Safety later)Tirr smashed the bottle of flammable liquid onto the physically incoherent beast, steak knife ready in his other hand to defend himself.
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Morkskittar
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Yay! My Rat Ogre! ^_^
Packlord
To Sinclaw's relief, his actions immediately killed the doppelganger, whose head rolled away as the body collapsed. To his horror, however, the body and head immediately began to dissolve into large maggots, with grotesquely oversized fangs. They began to writhe their way over to Sinclaw...

Victor, ignoring the army of maggots, walked past his nightmare and made a grab for the Snotling, who vanished, only to reappear on the nightmare Inquisirat's head. "Impressive resolve, human one," the snotling said.

Next to him, Tirr made short work of the monstrosity, surprising himself with the ease with which it was defeated. The snotling sighed. "You do not fear enough," the snotling told Tirr, his tone scoling. "It is not healthy."

The Snotling vanished again, and reappeared on Saint Ratolas' head. All tied up, the Saint was helpless as the Snotling unfolded a cartoonishly large cleaver from his pocket. "Any last words, avatar?" He raised the cleaver above the struggling Skaven's head.

***

Brrx and Gribble, meanwhile, continued to make their way to the roof, and popped up the chimney, only to find Sir Bacon there, talking to four disgruntled Rat Ogres - the other four looked to be asleep. As they popped up, Sir Bacon and the Rat Ogres turned to view their new guests with annoyance and surprise.

These feelings were doubled as Lacunae also rolled onto the roof, having used her armour to climb up the sheer face of the wall. She stood up nimbly and brushed the wood chips off, smiling unnervingly at the Moulders up there.

Novels Written and For Sale: List
Posted Image
UE Pub Fight Deaths: 334. Pillz and Pyllz are © by Morkskittar
Dark Lord Nihilus Regarding Me: "You're the love child of Vishnu and Pegasus."

Posted Image
Stop Geen Toegang! / Complete Works of Morkskittar / Ask a Skaven! 'zodi
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Sod
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Marquis de

"Yes, and what do you want?" Sir Bacon asked of the newcomers, his porcine forehead wrinkling into the equivalent of an arched eyebrow, "As you can see, the rat ogres and I are having a moment."
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Twitch
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The Broken Blade

Sinclaw grabbed a bottle of warpsynth from the back bar and threw it on the floor splashing the flammable liquor everywhere. Vaulting over the bar he then grabbed a lantern from the wall and chucked that over the bar for good measure grinning as he heard it smash. Then he ran across the bar, battered the cleaver wielding snotling across the room with the flat of his gun sword blade and started to drag st ratolous to the door. He grinned toothily. " time to go" he said to the injured rat as the first wafts of smoke drifted across the room. "Glad I'm not on the roof right now..."


You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, 'cause you can never predict if they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
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Sod
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Marquis de

Sir Bacon's nose wrinkled as he caught the faint scent of burning...and was that cinnamon?!?...

Out of the proverbial frying pan and into the fire, eh? he thought to himself, Well, this is one pig that is NOT going to end up on someone's egg sandwich.

The time for subtlety was over. If they would not succumb via hypnosis then they would be made to serve in other ways.

He turned his attention back to the rat ogres, the veins in his forehead throbbing as he brought his thoughts down on their simple minds in a vicious hammer blow of psychic domination.

"Get in the sleigh," Sir Bacon snarled at the three intruding moulders. "We're leaving now!"
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Ratty Gnawtail
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Gribble...grib...Gribble!

"Grib..." Gribble began before Brrx snatched him up and bundled him into the sleigh.

"Bacon sandwich here is right-right, we need to get on and do something! For science!"

"Gribble...grib."

"I'm taking that as a yes-yes."

"...Gri..."
The (mostly) Complete Works of Ratty
Green Seer Gnawtail portrait by ShuNian)

Warlock Matik on Ratty's ideas on time manipulation
 
Red Dwarf is not a good basis for temporal mechanics :7
Sod
 
I secretly suspect that Gribble is the master moulder and Ratty is its beast. :P
Morkskittar
 
Evildorfs love you :3
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AshenEshin
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MK ULTRA - Skaven style

Tirr's ears pricked upwards at the word avatar. It was suddenly of the utmost importance that Saint Ratolas not survive. Aethyrian theory demanded it. Could it be the old god wasn't dead? Praying that Sinclaw wouldn't lose sight of the task at hand, Tirr turned to the Snotling. Tirr didn't know what to make of it. It used Aethyrian tactics to make Mutae a god of terror, but seemed devoted to mutating flesh in an almost Corpus like manner. A manner disturbingly not too far from Tirr's own.As the smell of smoke took to the air Tirr sought to engage the Snotling as the bar burned
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Eom


Seeing the fire spread all around him, Victor decided that now was as good a time as any to head out. He follows Sinclaw and Ratolas outside, hoping to bring Inquisitorial justice to the living remnant of heretical festivities.
Victor von Hohenfeld
Losses: 7
Wins: 11

Tournament wins:
Execution of Ikkilit
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Tapirus
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Franck Feldscher

Franck climbed the roof and made his way to the sleigh, while yelling.

"Wait for me!"

Before climbing into the sleigh as well.
^_^ Posted Image
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blader4411
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Lacunae
[ *  *  * ]
“Interesting. Clearly Rat Ogres as a base, but with signs of improved intelligence. However, there don’t actually appear to be brain implants, judging by the lack of cranial scarring. Magical enhancement, or perhaps familiars?”

Deciding to investigate the creatures thoroughly later on, Lacunae climbed into the sleigh.
Tournament Victories:
Grand Opening Bout! (Quadra)
Warpfest (Iggy the Fool)

Event Victories:
Ratzmas 2017 Fluff Competition
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