- Nintendo 64 Forever
- →
- Everything Else!
- →
- Social Board
- →
- Battling depression
| Welcome to Nintendo 64 Forever. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Battling depression | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 30 2013, 08:52 PM (1,024 Views) | |
| Alice Lawless | Oct 30 2013, 08:52 PM Post #1 |
N64 collection completed 7/29/12
|
Hello friends and strangers, as most of you know, I have been relatively less active for the past year due to my constant battle with depression. I'm in some desperate need for advice since it's been getting bad again. Anyone who knows me on here probably remembers me losing my fiancé last year which caused the downward spiral of my life and all my goals. Since then I've been trying to focus on myself and seven months later I started dating again, which lead to more and more disasters. Eventually things calmed down but then I made the mistake of falling in love again. I met a girl at a concert (two to be specific). We met at a Pretty Reckless show and started talking after finding out that we both also saw Stone Temple Pilots at the same show just two days prior. Long story short, we fell in love, started dating, but now she's telling me she can't do it anymore. So the story goes like this: she was in a long distance relationship with a guy from NY for three and a half years. Seeing as how my ex and I were in a LDR, I was able to relate and kept my distance because my ex cheated on me with a local guy. Now I was living the flip side because she started cheating on her boyfriend with me for a week before breaking up with him to be with me. Everything was fine and all but now she's saying that she misses him and is torn between us, but I'm smart enough to catch on to how she talks- she favors him. Turns out I was right and she just wants to be friends. Guys, I'm sorry but being friends with your ex is like keeping your dead pets around. Sure you love them and miss the good times but after a while it starts to stink. We had a bit of a disagreement last night because I told her she needs to make a decision and she can't have both of us. What really kills me is that she has a medical condition and because of that I promised myself I would do anything to make her happy, no matter what. She's dying. She has cystic fibrosis in the lungs and doctors aren't giving her much longer. I would say 5-7 years tops. I want her to be happy, but I have my own problems to deal with. I've been suffering from my own chronic lung problems since mid-June. I have the symptoms of bronchitis and it's been messing with my sleep. On top of that I have about $4,560 in hospital bills. And if all of that wasn't enough to haunt me in my sleep, I still have nights where I think of Dawnie, my ex-fiancé, and I come close to offing myself. So my question is, what are some ways to battle depression? Video games make me feel worse, I'm no longer allowed overtime at work since I put in way too much that we had a meeting about it recently (at work is the only place I feel comfortable anymore). I go insane when I'm at home and I refuse to seek professional help. I can't afford it and I don't see the point in paying someone who doesn't know me to sit there and let me talk for an hour when I could stay at home and vent to my cat, who may not know **** all I'm saying but I find her responses to be much more therapeutic. I was happy for about a month or two when I was alone. Then I met Ashley and things were great. Even my supervisor said she noticed so many positive changes in my work performance and productivity. I was finally happy and now I'm back battling my depression. I have found that the only way to break a man is to take away everyone he loves. |
|
Facebook: STIK ROSS   297/296 NTSC N64 [100%] (Zelda GOLD) 7/7 PAL N64 [100%] | |
 |
 
|
| bluedogrulez | Oct 30 2013, 09:43 PM Post #2 |
Racing for Fulcon Capital
|
Stik, sorry for your troubles. Seems you've had more than your share. Let Ashley go. Be thankful for the times you had, but let her go. You don't need the drama, and the 5 year outlook is horrid. If you think you can't let her go now, how do you think you'd feel if you invested 5 years of love and memories, and she loses her battle. And get professional help. I know it seems like talking to a professional can seem like talkin to a wall. But it can lead to discovering or developing inner resolve. And you may some meds to help you smooth out the rough patches. I don't know, but they would. If you are able, pay down that debt before it festers, affects your credit and build crushing interest. A few years from now, you'll be glad you did. One more suggestion (and these are not meant to be preachy at all, just trying to help): talk to your folks. I recall they were there for you in your worst time; I'm guessing they love you a ton. Let them in. Okay, be safe A.L. You're a good dude; need you to stick around and make this world a better place. |
|
Switch Friend Code: SW-0786-9287-1202 (bluedogBDR) MK8Deluxe Tourney: N64Forever.com 2332-7277-8283 Nintendo Network ID: BDR2010 / Twitter: @bluedogrulez   
| |
|
|
|
| TNT737373 | Oct 30 2013, 09:48 PM Post #3 |
Veteran
|
True. My condolences Alice as this is an awful phase in your life. Honestly if I were in your shoes I'd slowly begin to work off the anger/sadness through spending time with my couple childhood best friends. Neither live in the same town as me anymore, however I often skype and talk to them on the phone especially in the $hitty low moments of our lives. In the past I tried to work off the pain through video games, movies, music, working out, and even alcohol in which ultimately I didn't find closure in any of those outlets. Like you mentioned, only more sadness. I just really needed somebody to talk to and luckily I had a two friends to gradually stand me back up. If you gotta a good friend locally chill with them one night or even call and plow through some $hit that's been bothering you. Always helps me, after a half dozen occasions or so I feel much much better. Now as you said by that last line, if you're implying this girl has taken all your friends from you, f$%& it man that's a million times worse. Can't imagine how lost of a feeling you'd get after a girl leads you that far down the rabbit hole. If this is the case you gotta reconnect to one of your past friends, incredibly hard but it's a path definitely worth taking. These girls you've been with in the past two years sound like poison, I think concert/workplace girls need to put on hiatus, because in those pools of women most of the water is poisoned. lol Some of the most truly psycho/evil chicks I've ever met have either been at work or some sort of party atmosphere. I'd hate to see you get hurt again so I'd recommend being more on guard when meeting girls. Anyway when talking through problems women only understand so much, no homo I'd say you need some dudes to BS with. ha. With therapists there's still a disconnect I feel, GOTTA GIT CHO BOYS TO BACK YOU UP! Hope you get through this as soon as possible. Wishing you luck. Peace. |
|
|
|
| DeeMoney | Oct 31 2013, 12:03 AM Post #4 |
Outback Adventurer
|
I really don't know what to say mate. You've certainly had a rough trot mate. I echo everything that BDR said. It's important to maybe access some kind of mentoring program where you can chat to someone one on one about what's going on and how you've been feeling. They'll be able to give you some options on how to cope with the depression. I would be starting a fresh, maybe concentrating on bettering myself for a while, away from the hassles. I sincerely hope things start getting better for you soon mate 
|
|
Nintendo Network ID - DeeMoney19 PSN Network ID - hallxx81xx Xbox Live Gamertag - DeeMoney 2K19  | |
|
|
|
| scooter77 | Oct 31 2013, 02:41 AM Post #5 |
New Zealand Member
|
Im sorry to hear about your problems mate, it sounds like you are in a downward spiral, it might sound impossible but there is a way out, as BDR, TNT and Dee have said, find someone to talk to, there is no shame in asking for help, i dont know about the states but there are groups here in NZ set up to help people fight their depression, and im sure there will be something similar over there, you might not like the idea but these people know how to deal with depression, they will be able to help you find your own way through it, keep your chin up and dont let it beat you. |
|
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein PAL Collection: 243/243 NTSC-U only Exclusives: 50/50 NTSC-U / NTSC-J Exclusives: 11/11 NTSC-J only Exclusives: 85/85 64dd 0/9 Only 9 to go. | |
|
|
|
| Grizzmeister | Oct 31 2013, 08:59 AM Post #6 |
Latter-day Nostradamus
|
Stik: If you can't afford professional help then join a church group. They're free and usually allow you to fellowship with others who may be sharing similar experiences. Don't allow yourself to become isolated and if you ever have any more ideas of harming yourself give me a call. I've sent you my home number via PM and I'm completely sincere when I say that I'm always available to lend a nonjudgmental sympathetic ear. You're going make it though this and you're gonna come out even stronger at the other end.
|
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." - Arthur Schopenhauer
| |
|
|
|
| Alice Lawless | Nov 2 2013, 10:40 AM Post #7 |
|
N64 collection completed 7/29/12
|
I really appreciate the support from everybody. I'll be sure to contact everyone for help if it starts to get even worse. I'm gonna be visiting Ashley after work today and make a $1,560 payment towards those horrid bills. I came back from the dentist on Thursday and get this: $1,100 minimum to get five teeth drilled since there's a cavity located between teeth and they have to drill downward to get to it since they can't go from the side. Ever hear the phrase "death comes in threes?" Well I'm coining a new one: "debt comes in threes" I'm sure things will get better once I'm no longer in a deep financial situation. The first payment of $1,560 is getting done today so that brings me down to $3,000 for the hospital and ~$1,100 for dental (I brush AT LEAST 2-3 times a day, I'm very proactive when it comes to hygiene of any kind, but when your dentist is 11 hours away [NJ], it's a little tough to make regular visits). Guys, I'm sorry to get preachy but the Affordable Healthcare Act is not very affordable. Obamacare can suck it. I ended up skipping a chance to meet the guys (and girl) from All That Remains last night because of this money thing. Anyone who has me on Facebook knows why that hits the worst for me. I'm basically taking my depression and splitting it up into multiple causes and trying to work through each one a little bit at a time. So far I think these are the causes: - The breakup with Dawnie from last year - The Ashley situation - Wanting to move up at work but feeling like I don't know as much as I should - Over $6k in debt for medical bills with no health insurance - I look like a walking corpse due to my weight and bone structure Those five seem like a good summary of what's been a burden on my mind. I'm obviously working on the money thing, and at the same time I'm trying to gain weight. |
|
Facebook: STIK ROSS 297/296 NTSC N64 [100%] (Zelda GOLD) 7/7 PAL N64 [100%] | |
|
|
|
| NintendoLuke99 | Apr 20 2014, 07:37 PM Post #8 |
Nintendo 64 Teen Enthusiast
|
Wow...even though I am 14,i definetley understand what your going through,i went through something similar,with depression anxiety,and suicidal thoughts,although i struggle with it daily,it was really rough,and at one point i was very close to killing myself(which i didn't do thank god)..even though i might not be much help,if you need someone to talk to,i will be around..hope your situation gets better 
|
Get  Or Get Out! slogan Forever!My Collection1 Black console34 Games3 Offical controllers | |
|
|
|
| i8ablueskittle | Apr 20 2014, 08:07 PM Post #9 |
|
and it tasted good...
|
Stik I don't know you very well but I just want to say keep on holding on man. I, along with the other members, truly love your passion and contribution here. You bring a TOTALLY unique aspect to these forums and always enjoy seeing what (or who) you bring next. I've never seen a man meet so many  bands! You're a seriously original person and I thank you for that. Hang in there, things ALWAYS get better. -Tyler |
|
Forever searching for 1080 Snowboarding and 1080 Avalanche items. Love N64 Prototypes and Unreleased games. PM me or email me at i8ablueskittle@gmail.com | |
|
|
|
| Alice Lawless | Apr 21 2014, 01:51 PM Post #10 |
|
N64 collection completed 7/29/12
|
It's funny that this topic got bumped right when I needed it. So I was living with my girlfriend Stephanie for a few months before I left her for my current girlfriend, Lindsay. Well, current until this past Friday because we broke up right after an LA Guns concert. I left Stephanie for her and I honestly feel like that was a huge mistake. Stephanie love me unconditionally and I betrayed her by focusing more on Lindsay, a girl who had every single thing in common with me. We're both offensive, she loves horror movies, she's a zombie enthusiast, listens to rock music, digs the Misfits, her favorite game is Tony Hawk's Underground, she even had an identical hospital story to mine. We broke up because she couldn't put up with my tone. When I talk I sound very negative and I tried everything I could to change this. I really don't feel like getting into details right now because I just finished hand writing a 19 page suicide note which is still a work in progress. I took her to meet Doyle and Dr Chud from the Misfits, some of the guys from Switchfoot, the original lineup for Blanco Diablo, several members from All That Remains, and two of the original members from LA Guns. These are some of the pics:      I'm supposed to be seeing her in about two hours to give her her guitar back. I'm really hoping we can talk and try to work things out. She put up a photo on Instagram that said, "I'll never know what happened to you but you are no longer welcome here." I'm not ready to talk about my depression right now, but I can promise you that I'm not going to off myself ought away. That's the beauty of losing the will to live is that once you finally let to of everything is when you're finally free to do anything. I'm going to treat this as a new life and take advantage of it. Travel out to see a band? What's stopping you now. Want to buy that thing you've had your eye on? Money's no good when you're dead. Afraid to talk to that girl live been crushing on? #yolo buddy. The world is your Cloyster. Suicide is only a considered option when the level of Pain outweighs the level of Coping. It doesn't mean you're weak. If you were forced to carry weight until you are overburdened, the will to continue will not make you strong enough to do so. You can either lessen the amount of weight (Pain) or get help (Coping method). It's really a euphoric feeling when you've finally let to of everything. Anyone who recognizes me on here knows that I have been battling this for over a year and a half. Anyone who knows me very we'll knows I've really been battling this for 22 years. Depression runs in my family. I'm afraid of being alone and everyone I love leaves me because of my tone and attitude. I don't notice it and I tried to change it, but it's no use. I am reliving the same struggle every time I meet someone new. I don't need people to convince me not to give up- giving up is the only thing that will set me free to finally enjoy my life alone. If I'm told to look forward to something, I can counter it easily with how that will end and how I am just looking forward to depression. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If I keep living and trying my hand with love again, is that not insanity? It's not selfish to want to end your life, it's selfish to force someone to continue to live in torment? Tell me something, what would you do if you felt as if every day was just the afterglow of your soul lying dormant while the hallucination of hope in your existence repeats itself making you relive your moments of heartbreak until all of your feelings of being alive slowly dissipate revealing to you the truth: you're already dead because you're living in hell. Being conscious is psychological torture and I don't expect anyone to understand. I'm not going to do anything so suddenly, I want to make sure there is absolutely no way out before anything happens. I figure it's fair not to give up and I'm allowed to plan for a worst case scenario. |
|
Facebook: STIK ROSS 297/296 NTSC N64 [100%] (Zelda GOLD) 7/7 PAL N64 [100%] | |
|
|
|
| Conker69 | Apr 21 2014, 03:34 PM Post #11 |
|
Senior Member
|
Bro in all honesty no girl is worth killing yourself over. I may not know you very well but you seem like a totally rad dude you have met some pretty awesome bands. Here what you need to do to get over this step one go out with some buddies and just have fun clear your mind so to speak. Step two find a job that you truly enjoy I'm not saying quit your job just take a second and think is this something you want to do for the rest of your life. Step and the most important step you need to learn to love yourself I mean truly love who you are once you have done this I assure you you will be fine. All the best to you I hope you feel better |
| Just a simple guy with an average collection. | |
|
|
|
| Alice Lawless | Apr 21 2014, 04:22 PM Post #12 |
|
N64 collection completed 7/29/12
|
It's not the girl, though she was perfect minus her own depression, mental instability, and emotional detriments. I just saw her for the last time and I can't even form the words right now. I love my job, I love my (ex) girl, but I don't love myself. And the things the people I love have said to me, including her, are what caused me to feel this way. |
|
Facebook: STIK ROSS 297/296 NTSC N64 [100%] (Zelda GOLD) 7/7 PAL N64 [100%] | |
|
|
|
| Xephyrian | Apr 21 2014, 05:04 PM Post #13 |
Master Chief of the Universe
|
Hey Stik, I'm sorry that things haven't improved too much and I know I haven't really talked to you directly a whole lot but I felt inclined to chime in here, and maybe give you some tough love. I just want you to know that suicide is never the answer, life gets tough sometimes but I think suicide is actually pretty selfish. I've dealt with depression before (albeit probably not to the same degree as you) but I know that it's something you can't see the other side of when you're in but once you get out of it you're like "hey, life goes on..." And I doubt you're gonna like this next part just because I assume you're not religious, but you're never gonna find true satisfaction in an earthly relationship. Only God's perfect love will satisfy and while it doesn't make life instantly better and things can still go wrong (I just found out the other day that my mother has cancer for the second time  ) I can always find comfort knowing that God loves me and is in control even when everything seems messed up. So just know that there are people on earth who still love you and most importantly the creator of the universe who loves YOU specifically!  I'm gonna leave you with two verses that I find really uplifting, and I'll pray that you let God help you out of this rough period in your life: "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." - Deuteronomy 31:8 "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD." - Psalm 40:1-3 |
| |
|
|
|
| action | Apr 22 2014, 03:33 AM Post #14 |
|
Senior Member
|
girls can make you utterly depressed. i can vividly recall the time i was just about to jump under a train. i was waiting for the train on a station and thought "well if i jump now its all over". i was recently rejected by this stunning beautiful girl, who up to that point i got along with really well. i figured it was one rejection too many. for some reason i cant remember i didnt jump. I have since had some random thoughts that made me evaluate my own existence and the value of my life and what i can do with it. I. the value of my person if i die, the world will keep spinning, no one will miss me. and in 4 billion years the sun will evaporate the earth and even earth itself will be gone. for the earth, or the universe, it makes absolutely no difference if i am here or not. the only difference it makes is for me, myself and I. so the fact that i am here running around. all that i ever experienced. everything that happens in the world. all the wars, all the environmental damage: it only has a meaning because I can see and experience it. if i wasnt here, i wouldnt have noticed, i wouldnt have cared. in 4 billion years all traces of the crimes of humanity are erased. no one (that is, some hypothetical spectator) will even know they happened basically, for me, the universe ends when i am dead. there is no before me, or after me. time is interwoven with my own self: in a sense, i AM time. II. the bad in life everyone that is born, will have their own scars and bumps along the way. unanswered love, loves lost,... it's part of our personality, it makes u who we are. we are not alone in suffering. III. the good in life we have an infinite amount of opportunities, things that we can experience. we can learn to play music, enjoy the countryfield, watch the clouds pass by on a sunny day, go to our favorite band, read some books, play our favorite games, join the army, join a church, roam the country from the east to the west. that too, shapes our personality. personally, i find an immense amount of satisfaction in playing my guitar: it offers and endless amount of possibilities to be creative. there is always something new to find. it gives great value to my life. i'm also making a giant wooden model of the HMS victory (1:84), it will offer me ways of messing around with various tools for years to come basically, you have to find things to keep you entertained, to always have something to come back to. IV. the value of the good in life point III is what is good about life. it's objectively fun to play goldeneye for example. it has value. it's worthwile. it makes your life worthwile V. the value of your life this is our only chance to do all those cool things. we may not realise, but before our birth, or after our death, we cant do these things. when we are dead time basically stops for us (see point I). we lose our golden ticket to the show. so now that we are given this one in a billion chance to experience something of the wonders of earth, why wouldnt we make the most of it. and if point II makes you think there is a lot of suffering, dont worry death comes to everyone of us eventually. seeing how much good there is in life and how unlikely it was for us to even get born, it's like been given the key to ali baba's gold trove. it would be a waste of cosmical proportions to end our life before it was meant to be. Edited by action, Apr 22 2014, 03:37 AM.
|
|
|
|
| bluedogrulez | Apr 22 2014, 04:54 AM Post #15 |
|
Racing for Fulcon Capital
|
"Life is but a DREAM for the dead." I didn't write it (wish I did), and action's post explains it perfectly. Be well, my friend, and please consider all the good advice and intentions of the many posts above. |
|
Switch Friend Code: SW-0786-9287-1202 (bluedogBDR) MK8Deluxe Tourney: N64Forever.com 2332-7277-8283 Nintendo Network ID: BDR2010 / Twitter: @bluedogrulez
| |
|
|
|
| Alice Lawless | Apr 22 2014, 07:06 AM Post #16 |
|
N64 collection completed 7/29/12
|
So we broke up at an LA Guns concert in Charlotte, NC on Friday night. The whole night she was beyond irritable. While standing at the show she kept frowning and looking miserable, so I tried asking her if something was wrong and she told me she was feeling sick. Now the first time we went to that venue to see Switchfoot, she started getting sick and we had to step outside so she could get some air. We missed the entire second half of the show but I didn't mind at all. This time I thought it was happening again so I asked her, "do you need some water? Do you want to lean on me? Do you need to get some air? Do you want to sit down somewhere? Do you want to go home?" She began getting extremely loud and started making a scene so I told her to calm down. The whole show she was very angry and I asked her to at least pretend like she wants to be around me. So after the show I wanted to take her to meet the band but she just stayed there at a table and started crying. I tried calling her but she picked up her phone and hung it up and went back to holding her head in her hands. I walked over to her and she immediately got up and started walking out. I asked her if she would talk to me and she said to just take her home. We got to the car and I asked her again to talk to me and she told me she doesn't want to talk to me and she wants me to take her home. During the drive she said she was done and I begged her to reconsider but she said it was over and started throwing insults. About thirty minutes down the road I have up and stopped defending myself. She told me she hated my voice and I told her I tried changing it for her. She said it was my tone and that I sound mean and angry, like I'm always talking down on her like a dog. I told her again that this was the thing about my voice I warned her about from day one and that we tried working on it before, that it was nothing new. I said that this was why everyone else left, because of my voice. She kept saying things like, "no wonder they left, you deserve to be alone." She started calling me an A-hole and a piece of S-, and I started getting VERY ticked off but I kept my cool because I knew it wasn't worth it. She kept going for another thirty minutes and said that she lost all feelings for me and there was no way we will ever work it out, then said she never wants to see me again. She called me a few more names and finally I made the conscious decision to do everything she accused me of. She said I always yell at her and I said very calmly, "I never raised my voice at you." She kept insisting and I said again, "I have never ever yelled at you before, but I'm really close to doing it." Again, she kept pushing, so I now screamed at her, "SHUT THE F- UP!!" and she screamed "DON'T YELL AT ME!!" So I now said in an agitated voice, "have you ever heard me yell like that before?!" I started hitting the stealing wheel, "have you ever seen me act abusive before?!" I slammed on the brakes and pulled over two lanes to the right and onto the side of the road, "have you ever seen me lose my temper before?! No! You haven't! Because I have never done the S- you accuse me of until now!!" She was curled up in the corner of the door begging, "just please take me home!" I started driving back. The speed limit was 70 but I was doing 50 to get to talk to her longer because I knew that would be the last time we ever got to talk. I kept going on about all the stuff she accused me of and how I was way better than her abusive exes because I have never before yelled at her, I never insulted her, never threatened her, never put her down, I always cared for her, loved her, respected her, and did everything I could for her. I told her how I should have stayed with Stephanie and that it was a mistake leaving her. See I was dating Stephanie and Lindsay came along and convinced me to break up so that we could start dating. I listened to her and now I lost them both. Since she kept throwing insults at me, I started pointing out her flaws and closed it by saying that those things don't matter to me because I don't make a big deal about our differences. I told her that I always accepted her for who she was and I said how I wished she was mature enough to do the same. She used to throw a huge fit if I ever wore socks to bed. She'd lose it if I pronounced "water" as "wah-dur" or "during" as "door-ing". In response I reminded her that she pronounced "toilet" as "toe-lit". My whole point was to show that she does things wrong but I never made a big deal over it like she has. I told her how she has a lot of growing up to do and reminded her that even though she's the most difficult person to deal with, I still love her and want to be with her. She told me that she never wants to see me ever again. I told her I was going to bring myself down to her level and tell her that she owes me $150 for her upcoming Carolina Rebellion ticket and $50 for her DragonCon costume I bought. I said that normally I don't care about money but I know she and her mom are struggling so I said I wanted to be a jerk right back to her so she knows how it feels. The next night I drove an hour out to see Stephanie and despite me breakingt her heart and leaving her to be with Lindsay, she still welcomed me in complete open arms and held onto me for what felt like an eternity. That night Lindsay texted me asking for me to give her back her stuffed llama and her guitar. The texts are all below as we'll as two old and two new photos on her Instagram with relevant captions. I treated her better than I did Stephanie, and she says I treated her like royalty. With Lindsay I would do the whole "open the car door" thing for her each and every time. If it was raining I would pull out an umbrella, walk around the car to her side and open it up for her and hold the umbrella over her. I would stop by every night to see her and I'd say goodbye in the morning before work. I would wrap her leg and foot in bandages and a brace when she hurt both her legs- I also helped carry her and if fetch stuff for her and make her food. Anytime I saw her I'd always be sure to give her a compliment. I was always there to rub her feet and scratch her back. Anything she wanted, I have it to her. Anything she wanted to do, we did it. One day in the middle of our relationship she told me that she didn't like the way I talked so I tried all sorts of different speech techniques or changing my words. Nothing was good enough for her. She said during that drive back that all of her past boyfriends who would hit her or talk down on her were better than me. I call BS. I told her to go back to Justin, the guy who cheated on her for a year and a half and would call her names, yell at her, tell her she was ugly and fat, tell her she was useless, her cooking sucked, and that she was going nowhere in life. I told her to to back to him so she can appreciate all I've done for her. She to me she was considering it.                  Moral of my story is to never fall in love with anyone but yourself, and if you can't love yourself, no one else will ever love you. |
|
Facebook: STIK ROSS 297/296 NTSC N64 [100%] (Zelda GOLD) 7/7 PAL N64 [100%] | |
|
|
|
| milkman | Apr 22 2014, 07:27 AM Post #17 |
|
Established Member
|
Its funny Stik, that you have touched people that you don't even know or that you wouldn't have thought you have reached. To me, it means you must be an awesome dude and me all those pictures you have shared have made me (and many others) jealous. I think a few of us have been in similar positions, knows I have and its something that I also deal with constantly. All I can say is that there are people that understand, you aren't alone. I know reading the 2 following things was an awakening for me, like woah.. that has summed it all up.. the best thing out of it, was I realised I'm not alone. I really hope you read these two because I know that they helped me an awful lot. Depression part one - Hyperbole and a half Depression part 2 - Hyperbole and a half and in saying that, I hope you find your piece of corn. If you ever want to unload some, can hit me up on Skype or PM or whatever. Edited by milkman, Apr 22 2014, 07:39 AM.
|
|
|
|
| action | Apr 22 2014, 07:32 AM Post #18 |
|
Senior Member
|
sound like your typical spoilt :cussfit:. probably thinks the sun shines from out of her :donkey:... she looks like one too, dont like the pretentious look in her eyes and i'm not sure the caption 'i was too good for you' can come from a sane person. *psychopath alert* lots of alarm lights go off to me when i read her responses and her cold behaviour. i have been through the exact same situation. the dialogue could be copy/pasted from some of my personal experiences. moral of the story: don't bother, dont put your energy in her. she's a vampire that feeds on your sorrow. the more you beg, the more you ask her to reconsider, the more she feeds off it. probably makes her feel important. i think, and this my complete personal opinion and in no way should be taken as the holy scripture, but woman in general seem to be put off from the whole "mister nice guy" character. my first ever girlfriend i treated like an angel sent to me right from heaven. i would kiss the ground she walked, you know the drill. it's no good, she used me and eventually didnt have any respect for me whatsoever. i was like the "nice guy" and it's totally not sexy. lots of drama followed, i felt desillusioned and went "but you promised me eternal love" yadda yadda. big load of BS. i decided to switch strategie and act like a real ":cussfit:" (but wait, see disclamier further on!!). so this girl, which i thought was a real stunning looking girl (i wouldnt even think of hit on her as she was really out of my league) for some reason liked me and was trying to take my attention. i rejected her two times and came back twice before i stuck with her. the effort came from her, not from me (though i'd given a leg to have her as my girlfriend). i really gave the poor girl a hard time conquering my heart. first time we had dinner she had to pay as i "forgot" my wallet. when she said "you can chose which movie we watch" i would in the past let her chose, this time i chose the movie; a real macho action movie which i have forgotten the name of, just to piss her off. basically i acted like a pig, even burping in her presence. if even the slightest thing was not entirely to my liking, i went whining and she let me have my desires. after that i decided i have put up enough of the act, i was sure she really liked me and was not fooling around with me. nowadays, i will do nice stuff to her like giving her an umbrella when it rains and stuff, but its done with a sort of carelessness. example. if i buy her a present i go "here i have this stupid present for you "drops it at the table" and then immediately talk about something else like a cool new game i want to buy or something. i wont: give her the present and make a lot of hoo-ha around it like i just gave her the bloody marie-antoinette jewels or something. its not cool, actually its weak, it's silly and not manly. other example. if your at a restaurent and something is wrong with the bill or food or whatever, be man enough to act up and tell the waiter that they screwed up. if your woman sees you are letting yourself be taken for a fool, she will think you dont have what it takes to protect HER. MAJOR DISCLAIMER: being a real man and an  is all good and well, but never....EVER hit a woman. that's sort of a code of honor of men. hitting a woman is NOT masculin. in fact it makes you a bloody psychopath and a complete waste of fresh oxigen. and it works, it makes you appear mysterious, dark. it magnetises. women like dark men. woman like some drame and action now and then. (i'm not talking from out of my :donkey:, my girl has confessed she likes a good fight now or then, it makes life exciting. she said she could never marry a bag of potatoes. women like men who are a bit of an :donkey:. it's baked in our genes. woman want strong men who are able to protect her and her children. a man who lets him get walked over by people is not good enough. nice guys finish last, its one of the true life lessons i learned the hard way. Edited by action, Apr 22 2014, 08:08 AM.
|
|
|
|
| stevenrumm | May 10 2014, 05:04 AM Post #19 |
Established Member
|
keep busy go and talk to someone new everyday try find that one thing that makes you laugh no matter how stupid it is and hold onto it |
|
|
|
| Alice Lawless | May 11 2014, 08:52 PM Post #20 |
|
N64 collection completed 7/29/12
|
A lot has happened concerning the Lindsay situation. If anyone cares enough to lend an ear, my skype is Stik.Ross and I can send you my Facebook via PM. It's been getting really bad |
|
Facebook: STIK ROSS 297/296 NTSC N64 [100%] (Zelda GOLD) 7/7 PAL N64 [100%] | |
|
|
|
|
|
| « Previous Topic · Social Board · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
 10:41 AM Jul 13
|
Hosted for free by ZetaBoards · Privacy Policy