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LITW Thunderstruck
Topic Started: May 12 2005, 09:27 PM (31 Views)
Cody Miller
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Spider-Man
I have decided to make one event only because my fed sucks on EWR this show got a 44% rating...but here it is!

[ A roaring crowd could be heard as everyone who was tuning in's television sets went from the commercials to the feature presentation of the very first LITW Thunderstruck! The cameras ban in and around the ring, and then to the roaring wrestling fans. That's when you hear the voice of Thunderstruck's own Maddox coming through the television speakers]

Maddox: Welcome, welcome, welcome to the first event in LITW History. Folks, if you have no idea what LITW is, you're a dumbass!
George Carling: That's right, Maddox; if those of you tuning into your precious little television sets have no idea who the fuck we are, then who people are really fucking stupid!
Maddox: Well put, my man! Tonight we will see the crowning of champions, classic battles--

[Just as Maddox was about to finish, he was cut off by a heavenly sound. This sound could only mean one this, God is speaking and he's got something important to say, and you never see God, just hear his awesome voice.]

God: Welcome, my children to the biggest wrestling federation around! I am bringing you sports entertainment beyond your wildest dreams! How do I do it, you ask? [A hearty laugh came bellowing through the speaker] I am God! I can do whatever I wish, and I'm doing all of this for you! So now, my children, get ready for what's going to blow your minds away! Get...ready..to...be...THUNDERSTRUCKED

Maddox: Powerful words, from a powerful man!
George: The bastard's probably a fat slob in a suit.



[ First Match! ]

[Bell rings]

RA> Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the LITW Tag Team Titles. Introducting first, weighing in at a combination of 445lbs, I give you the team of Jack the Ripper and Ed Gein, they are...THE KILLAS!

[ The duo of notorious serial killer's theme's hit, which was "Dead Skin Mask" by Slayer, and the came waltzing out and to the ring, but instead of waiting for their opponents, Jack the Ripper grabbed a mic and he spoke.]

Jack: Me and my partner here are going to show our opponents why we're so dangerous and why we're so notorious! We'll make mince-meat out of our opponents, they don't stand a chance.

[He hands the mic over to Gein.]

Gein: We're taking on the duo of Ron Jeremy and Samuel L. Jackson...what the hell? A porn star and a bad-mouthed nigger? They're fucking dead, I'LL EAT THEIR FLESH IF I HAVE TO!

Maddox: You know, George, Ed isn't lying...he really will consume human flesh!
George: Yikes, Maddox. Just yikes. But, this is the perfect place for a sicko/psyho to be, in a ring full of violence! I've always said they should put crazys, convicts, killers, etc all in one place and let 'em go at it!
Maddox: And let's not forget to give them all chainsaws, George. Fuck yeah, let's get this match underway!

[ The duo on Jackson/Jeremy rush to the ring after those harsh words from their opponents and the match begins!]

[This match went back and forth for the first few minutes, but after that, The Killas totally dominated until Jack the Ripper hit the Surgical Strike dead-on against Jackson. Thus, this crowns the first LITW Tag Team Champions.]

Maddox: That was a pretty good match, George! I'm just sorry to say there wasn't enough violence in that, now put a Pirtate like myself in that match, I'd headbutt them all like I did my girlfriend last week!

George: Yes, Maddox, you sure are a fucking pirate...well...we got the Coach standin' buy with Vladimir Lenin and I got to say Maddox, the main event tonight is going to be fuckin' awesome. You won't get better entertainment if you put a big electric fence around Colorado and let all the crazy son of a bitches in the world go at it.

[Backstage]

The Coach: Yo, yo, wassup? Da Coach here wit' Vladimir Lenin, and Vlad, I have tpo say that you're in a big match tonight, and your chances at comin' out the winner just aren't lookin' good. What do you say about that?\

Lenin: My chances aren't looking good? My chances have never looked good, Coach..but have I always overcame adversity and conquered my goals? Yes, I have. I'm not going to let anybody stand in my way of reaching the top of this business, not even Jesus came take me out, Coach. You watch, I'll take them out. I'll stand tall.

[Back to Maddox and George]

Maddox: That is one confident man, George.
George: And he should be, he's a great man.
Maddox: We're about ready for our next match-up that will be for the LITW World title (Not the big title) pitting 3 talented men against eachother.
George: My favorite is Bruce Lee, Maddox. He's one bad motherfucker

[Bell rings]

RA> Ladies and gentlemen, this match is set for one fall and it is for the LITW World Championship, introducing first: He is the King of Pop....MICHAEL JACKSON!

[The arena would be suddenly filled with the sounds of a creaky door shutting and the famous sounds of Thriller would start to blast. Michael Jackson would moonwalk out to the ring and await his opponents.]

RA>ANd his opponent, this is The Baddest White Dude Around...CHUCK NOOORRRIISSS

[Walker Texas Ranger's theme hit and out came Norris]

RA>And finally, this is The Dragon, BRUCE FUCKIN' LEE!

[Bruce Lee was in the ring already somehow and thus began the match]

[This match was tied between Norris and Bruce the whole match until Michael Jackson low blow both Norris and Lee from behind and somehow managed to hit the Moonwalk on Norris for the pin]

Maddox: Not the ending I was expecting, George..
George: How did that faggot fuckin' pedophile win, Maddox? How the fuck did that happen?
Maddox: Beats me, but--

[Maddox was again interrupted for the second time tonight as The Faction of Action's theme song hit over the speakers as Malcom X and The King came down the ramp to the ring in all their blackness]

The King: Now, me and X was in the mindin' our own business, just talkin' with the fellow roster when, my brother Tupac was goin' for a drink of water and he was stopped by two nigga-hatin' men. I can't believe they had the audacity to stop my fellow black men from quenchin' his thirst. That's fucked up, really fucked up.

[Hand the mic to X]

X: Now, me and The King just couldn't let this happen so we stepped in and showed them White Boys that there's a couple of niggas that won't tolerate racism or any sorts of prejudice. We challenged Nathan Bedford Forrest and John WIlkes Booth to a match tonight, and those nigga-hatin' Conderates betta' recognize. PRAISE BE ALLAH

George: Wow, they be drinkin' some hatarade, Maddox

[That's when the Confederacy's music hit and they rushed to the ring]

[True to their word, The King and X beat those racist bastards down and defended their Honor in Brotherhood when Tupac came runnin' out and hit the Tupacalypse on Bedford. And afterwards, there as a big brawl.]

Maddox: As promised, the "nigga-hatin'" white boys sure did get fucked up. And what a beatdown followed!
George: Yes, that's what prejudice and racism really leads to, Maddox...violence.

[Bell rings]

RA> The following contest is set for one fall and it is for the LITW Galactic CHampionship, introducing first, this is JULIUS CEASAR!

[Ceasar came out, blew kisses to the fans and went into the ring]

Maddox: I hope Brutus isn't around.

RA> ANd his opponent, the Man who found this great nation, this is Christopher Colombus!

[Colombus came out to John Cena's "BAD, BAD MAN" and rushed to the ring]

MAddox: He looks ready to kick some ass.
George: Good, I hope he kicks that dictator fucks ass.

RA> ANd finally, the True Doctor of Thuganomics...TUUUUPAAAAC

[ALL EYEZ ON ME NIGGA! Out comes 2pac]

[Well, this match was all Tupac. He came on strong against Colombus and Caesar to finally hit a quick Tupacalypse for the win]

RA>THe final match of the night is set for one fall and it is for the LITW Universal Championship, introducing first...This is the man who commited genocide against the Jews...He is...ADOLF HITLER!

[ The sound of marching could be heard as A speak by Hitler could be heard as Rammstein's Link 2 3 4 started up and out came Hitler.]

RA> And his opponent....The Son of God....JESUS CHRIST!!

[Out comes Jesus!]

RA> Next up is....THE CURRENT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES..GEORGE W. BUSH....DUBYA B

[Out comes Bush!]

RA> ANd Finally, the last man in this contest...THE GREAT VLADIMIR LENIN!

[Out comes Lenin!]

[This match was a great match, it was all four men putting there hearts and souls into it, but overcoming adversity was Vladimir Lenin taking the LITW Universal CHampionship]

Maddox; WOW! What a match..
George; Yep..see you next time!

[End]








This is my signature. :)
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tadpeters
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You have quite an imagination LOL
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Click for the RCWF Website.
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Nate
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I actually found it pretty funny :lol:
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Nero Kross
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Cody...I fucking love you dude..ROFL..I'm choking on that...Funny Shit.
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