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We Interrupt This Tag Team Tournament Match; For A Message From Far Beyond Better
Topic Started: Jan 29 2012, 07:09 PM (99 Views)
Razor Sharp
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The Prodigy Of The Valley
As the second incarnation of the British Invasion and Eddie Cool and Daniel Bryan reach the ring, and begin to square off, they are kindly interrupted by “Whiskey and Ritalin” by Fair To Midland, which just so happened to belong to Razor Sharp and Max Krimson, Far Beyond Better, who would face the winners of this matchup. Razor walks out with an acoustic guitar dangling off his body, via a guitar strap, and a microphone in his hand, and Krimson is walking out with a basketball and a football under his arms. As they soak in the crowd cheers, Razor waits for them to calm down some, and begins to speak to the four annoyed wrestlers in the ring.

Now just hold on a second. Before you guys tear each other from limb to limb, just for the honor of eventually losing to us, we just wanted to address the fine folks here, in San Francisco, California!… Razor pauses for the classic Foley cheap pop, then continues. …and you four in the ring. First off, it’s nice to see the British Invasion actually get booked for a show. No really, it is! Give these guys a hand.

As the crowd half-heartedly applauds for the British Invasion, Razor and Krimson try to applaud the duo, but are unable to, due to the props they are carrying. Razor continues.

Yeah, yeah! We would clap too, if we didn’t have all this stuff in our hands. No, don’t worry guys, I’ll get to this in a bit. But after seeing you two struggle to beat two clowns at the PPV, I can kind of see why that might be the case. But, that’s ok. You guys won, and now you’ll probably lose to Bry-Cool. You see kids, you got a lot to learn in here. For example, I want you all, especially you Connor Spaulding, to direct your eyes to the balls in Krimson’s hands. Now these…

Razor is cut off by a half drunk fan in a Raiders hat, who spits out a gay joke at Krimson, something about holding balls and the such, and how he can hold them better than 49ers receiver Kyle Williams can. Razor then interjects.

Oh look, a Raiders fan. You sure do know a lot about holding balls. Did you’re daddy teach you how?… The crowd lets out a huge “ohhhh!” at Razor’s burn towards the fan, who tries to ignore it, but is then smothered by “FBB”, and “Raiders Suck!” chants, especially by the fans sitting in his section. Razor hops off the ramp and into the fan’s face. …Here’s what I want you to do, ok? Next time you try to insult my tag team partner, and my fucking team, here’s what’s gonna happen. The Niner Faithful will kick your ass, throw you over the bridge, back to that shithole they call Oakland, sit you down at the Coliseum and laugh at you while your team gets beat twice by Tebow, chokes more than you sucking dick, and lose yet again while the Niners win another division title and goes to the Super Bowl! Comprende, amigo? Good, now sit down and shut the fuck up during my time!

The crowd goes crazy during this tirade and starts cheering Razor like crazy. He hops back up the ramp and gets back into position to pick up where he left off during the FBB promo.

Where, were we Max? Oh, right. Connor Spaulding. These balls in Krimson’s hands are not any ordinary balls, but they are made by a specific company. That’s right the Spaulding company. What does this have to do with you? Well I’m surprised, actually. Surprised that you wouldn’t recognize the only set of balls present in the Spaulding name!

The crowd lets out another huge “ohhhh!” and start cheering for FBB some more, even throwing in the chant “You Got No Balls!” *clap clap clapclapclap*. Connor is livid as Jack Johnson tries to calm him down some. Krimson throws the football into the crowd and punts the basketball into the opposite crowd. Razor plucks a couple of strings on his guitar and hands it over to Krimson, who puts it on and impressively plays a few chords. Razor continues.

Now onto you. Jack Johnson. You know, there is a much more successful and much more talented man out there, who’s name you’re soiling, and that of course is singer/songwriter/surfer Jack Johnson. So I took a little inspiration from one of his hit songs and rewrote it just for you. Here we go. Ready, Max?

Max nods his head and begins to play “Upside Down” by Jack Johnson, as Razor sings his own lyrics.

Upside Down
The fucks we give for you just can’t be found
As we whoop your ass in front of everyone
Max puts you in the Meat Grinder and slams your face into the ground
When I put you in the Michinoku Driver, you’ll be upside down
We’re here to stay, we won’t go away!


The crowds cheers some more as FBB finishes their song for the British Invasion. Razor speaks some more as the crowd dies down again.

One more time for the British Invasion!

The crowd gives them a mixture of cheers, boos, and laughs directed at them.

Now over to Daniel Bryan and Eddie Cool. Sorry boys, we don’t have anything cute for you, although that song was written for any tag team who thinks they can beat us, you guys included. But lets get real for a second. First off, Eddie Cool. You used to be the biggest star out here. Definitely the most recognizable with your trademark green hair, but now you look like the default CAW on our video game, in stores now. You just don’t care anymore. Once you finally won your first world title, by the way, you want to talk about choking during the big matches, Daniel Bryan, you got the expert standing right next to you. Anyways, after you won your first world title, a title Max Krimson destroyed you for, you just stopped caring. About the fans, about the business, hell about yourself. You nearly walked out on the company!

And now your content, teaming up with Daniel Bryan, who’s only in the company because Thaddius wants to see him suffer at the hands of his own stars. Now we sure as hell aren’t even close to being his number one fans, but if that’s what we have to do, then so be it. I can’t speak for Max, but I used to be a big fan of yours, but once you hit the “big time” your ego consumed you and you just think your flat out better than everyone else and too good for everyone else. So if we get the “honor” of meeting you two in the ring, Max will have no problem beating you, Eddie, once again, and Daniel, or should I say Bryan Danielson, you walk around talking about kicking people’s heads in and tapping or snapping? I have yet to see that under your new ring name with those amateurs you wrestle with up north. But in this territory, there is none of that. It’s we’re going to fucking beat the shit out of you two, you will suffer in the ring, and we will become the new RCWF World Tag Team Champions because he is the MK Ultra and I am the Prodigy of the Valley and we are Far Beyond Better than all of you!


Razor throws the mic aside and starts posing for the crowd with Krimson doing the same, soaking in all the cheers for them. British Invasion, and Bry-Cool still stand there, annoyed, and wait for them to leave the ringside area, for the beginning of their match.

(Open to Bry-Cool, British Invasion, Voodoo, and why not, Grand Hustle too)

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2x World Tag Team Champion (w/ Max Krimson)
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1x Dungeon Tag Team Champion (w/ Devil Pierrot #2)
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thuggish_ruggish_tone
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The Special One
Now razor niners really......Niners REALLY!!!!!!!!!!! <_< , aside from that good promo buddy but you know with me the mere site n talk of the choke job whiners deserve the dislike button B)

Oh forgot to mention FUCK YO NINERS!!!!! B)
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Past Titles / Achievements:
1x RCWF World Heavyweight Champion
1x RCWF Federation Champion (184 days)
1x RCWF Television Champion (98 days)
1x Undisputed Champion (Fed & TV)
1x KDF Lightheavyweight Champion (1st ever)
2x Golden Rope nominee and runner up for (Theme of the year and Rookie of the Year)
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