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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 19 2012, 08:10 PM (175 Views) | |
| Eddie Cool | Mar 19 2012, 08:10 PM Post #1 |
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What's up bitches?
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Eddie is pacing around the parking lot of the FedEx Forum, smacking himself across the face, trying to get hyped up for the World Heavyweight Title match. The match isn't for a few hours, so to stay comfortable he's wearing a gray hoodie and a pair of baggy Adidas sweats. He was slowly taking drags from a cigarette, letting it dangle from his mouth as he sputtered nonsense to no one in particular. He forgot that he had already turned the camera on. Seeing the red record light blinking, he flicks the cigarette onto the ground and crunches it up with his heel. Showtime. "So here we go again." "Just like I said all along, one way or another, I was making it to Night of the Immortals. I was about to win the Royal Rumble, but then that Eddie Cool-wannabe tossed me over the top rope. I'd make a big deal out of it, but I honestly don't even remember your name. Also, side bar: the all green rocker gimmick is played out. I did it bigger and better than all of you, combined. If you guys want to keep competing for second place, be my guest, but just remember that I've already won." Eddie smirks. "Speaking of winning, why not move on to the past two weeks of Painkiller. I stepped into the ring with five other men with an opportunity to face Domino at Bloodshed. The moment I heard that I was in this match, I knew. I knew that this was it. It was time to carve out the final niche of my legendary career. And then just like that, at the end of the match, who was standing tall? John Kaos, my kryptonite, was eliminated first by Thaddius. I don't think anything needs to be said about that ... John now knows where he stands in Thaddius' eyes. But after that, one by one they fell, until I was on top of Jake Rogers for the three count. I'm sorry old friend, it was nothing personal. But as they say, the cream will rise to the top, the better man will win! And once again I went out there and left it all in the ring, proving to each and everyone of you why I am the BEST. Why I'm the most gifted athlete on the entire RCWF roster. Why I deserve to be in this World Heavyweight Title match. And then, in case you forgot, Donovan Pain and I reminded you again with a victory over Domino and Nathan Moore." "But then Thaddius had to get all cute and reveal himself as the GM of Painkiller. I won't lie, my head was spinning. Why did the man that's been down my throat every step of my career draft me first onto his show? There was no sense in it. But then I sat down and collected my thoughts, reminding me that ... it's just all part of the Coolspiracy. Every match I've ever lost has not been my fault. When you're the best in the world at what you do, you will always have people with a gun to your back. Every step of my career, there has been a phantom hand guiding me through false trails and passages. Leading me in the wrong direction to a pit of despair, a pit where men of lesser character fall prey to their innermost, bestial desires. Except I'm greater than most men. I clawed my way out of the pit, and now stand face to face with my phantom. Tonight ... tonight I cut the hand off. " "Domino, we all know that the last time we faced each other for the World Heavyweight Title I had you tapping out in the middle of the ring. That I had you pinned multiple times. Everyone knows that the only reason you won was because Thaddius has the referees and the announcers and the camera crew and the whole damn federation deep in his pockets. Well tonight is going to be different. I'm going to beat you down so wildly that the crooked referee has no choice but the hand me that championship belt. I will leave you a bloody, helpless mass of flesh and bones. Tonight, come hell or high water, I will win this match, and I'll finally show the entire RCWF roster why I deserve to headline Night of the Immortals. The times, they are a changin'." Fade to black . . . |
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| danshoryu | Mar 19 2012, 09:26 PM Post #2 |
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Barely Active
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The camera cut to Dan Shoryu, who was shirtless, with his black/green tights, staring intently at the monitor through his Ray Ban wayfarers. With an iPhone to his ear, he watched Eddie Cool as he wrapped up his promo, shaking his head left to right in disapproval. "And then you got this idiot on TV right now, Eddie Cool. Another one of these punk ass jobbers." "He's talking about getting eliminated in the rumble, and he's too pussy to even say my name." "Disrespectful of the pioneers. In denial that he worshipped me, and grew up watching me on TV in the golden days of RCWF" "He's out here talking shit, totally biting my style, and he has the AUDACITY to give MY segment a thumbs down?" "Can you believe the nerve of this prick?" "Looks like he ate too many sour apple Warhead candies, because he looks like the man on the wrapper." ![]() ![]() "And he's just an extreme sour puss, mad because I eliminated him at Nowhere to Hide." "Mad because he'll never be in the hall of fame." "Mad because he'll never be good on the mic or in the ring as...Dan Shoryu." "And most of all probably, he's probably just really mad that I'm the originator of the black and green color scheme." "I mean when you think of black and green, you think of Dan Shoryu. I made it famous, I'm in the hall of fame. Everyone knows he's just totally jocking my style" "I mean I've seen dudes better than him left off one of those top 100 lists Thad puts out every year." "Boy I tell you, one day I'd love the chance to turn that green hair purple, and break the skin on his scalp and piledrive his head on top of Justin Rom's thumbtack keyboard or something...." "Or maybe I'll just get Giul Thunderstrike to handle him for me." Shoryu sighs and shakes his head left to right, listen to whoever's talking on the other end of the phone conversation. The words are unintelligible and barely audible to audience as mere buzzing coming. The screen fades to black. |
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2:49 AM Jul 11