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| Dan Shoryu doesn't like anyone? Can't take a joke?; Blasts Jake Rogers, can he back it up? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 2 2012, 12:36 AM (297 Views) | |
| danshoryu | Apr 2 2012, 12:36 AM Post #1 |
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::In between matches, Shoryu appeared on the ThadTron and on the screen for the millions of RCWF fans watching at home. The backdrop was an old rusty gate with a "RCWF PainKiller" logo similar to the background on old "Raw is War" promos. The expression of his eyes was shielded by his Ray Ban wayfarers. His black tights w/neon green stripes were cut off at the hip by the camera. He held a microphone to his face with his right hand as he began his shit-talking tirade with a furrowed brow.:: "I heard it through the grapevine that someone, in the usual circle of gossip hounds they've always had backstage in this wrestling business, said 'Dan Shoryu doesn't like anyone.'" "Dan Shoryu doesn't like anyone? That's not entirely true. For one, I'm on Team Thad. I like Thaddius. I like Nate Moore." "Even though we've got beef with him right now, I like what Mr. Troupe is all about." "I like what the Snowman's doing. He's building something special." "And uhhhhh...DJ Craft is alright." "At least PainKiller isn't a complete sideshow circus like Demolition and Main Event Superstars, right?" "You think I don't like anyone because you're all butthurt that I wasn't nice to YOU? Well I've got news for you pal, I didn't make hall of fame by being Mister FRIENDLY! I made hall of fame for talking a gang of shit, and backing it up by hurting people!" "It's not a secret. If I don't get my way, I'm angry. And right now, things aren't going my way." "Because somewhere along the way, someone mixed too much kool-aid with the fine mixture of blood, sweat, and tears that RCWF once was!" "If I would of been here this whole time, I NEVER would of let...THIS..happen!" "I look at the monitor backstage, and I think I'm watching a god damn Halloween costume party." "See...I heard it through a little birdie, that someone in the usual circle of gossip hounds that 'Dan Shoryu can't take a joke'." "There's nothing FUNNY about Dan Shoryu. I am and always was a threat to be taken seriously. Dan Shoryu...ain't no joke." "A joke...is some jobber coming out here trying to look like something like from Mortal Kombat." "A joke...is some dumb bastard that LOOKS like a bastard...love child of Gene Simmons and LOD 2000." "A joke...is some drunken idiot, walking down the ramp dressed all like Captain Hook, thinking he's Captain Jack Sparrow. " "Back in the golden days, if you wanted comic relief, you had lowcarders like Justin Rom and Shamu to give your fix." "Now Justin Rom, is somehow winning Royal Rumbles. Winning world titles." "And even Jon Kaos...came out here last week wearing a RIDICULOUS orange mask. I mean Jon Kaos isn't looking too good is he? Taking two L's in a row to..." ::he covers his mouth and shakes his head left to right, obnoxiously forcing himself to laugh condescendingly in the middle of his sentence:: "..Brian Hunt?!?!! Another man..using his government name but wearing a..." ::he made the quotation mark gesture with his right hand, and adds a sarcastic emphasis to the two following words.:: "...mysterious mask." ::his brow furrowed, his facial expression was once again angry as he scolded the camera.:: "IS IT JUST ME or does THAT....NOT make ANY FUCKING SENSE?!" "When you have 'wrestlers', getting in touch with their feminine side, using Coldplay as theme music, it's official, the level of softcore faggotry is out of control." ::he puts his free hand to his chest and, nods his head up and down to the rhythm of the following sentence.:: "That's why I'm linked up with Thaddius right now." "The BOSS...is just tired of the damn shenanigans the PG era has produced!" "He needed a potent athlete with an attitude, and legendary respect to come back and keep the ratings HIGH as he weeds out and uproots theses assclowns that have been allowed to roam freely for so long. So he called Dan Shoryu." "Because The FANS...they're tired of having their intelligence insulted..and whether or not they approve of me, they approve of the new bold direction PainKiller has taken over the past couple of weeks." "And whether or not they know what they like...they liked to see me get real, with a stupid whore that thinks she's a buccaneer vixen, and knock the fuck out of a retarded fairy tale character like Jake Rogers." "You see Team THAD...We're on a mission to the destroy the careers of ::makes the quotation marks with his hand again:: "...'talent' that's damaging to the image of RCWF." "And...Jake Rogers...we're going to start with you." "Last Tuesday, before I knocked you out cold, I pondered to myself...Where...did we find this psychopath....that takes this deep sea pirate stuff SOOOOO seriously that his old lady REEKS of salt water fish?" "Why...instead of letting you two live as hobos, WHY were you given the chance to be human pollution on RCWF television? I'll never know." "Thank god Thaddius has finally come to his senses and finally called the exterminator to get rid of these dirty pests." "People have come up to me..'Oh Dan. You should watch Jake Rogers! Jake Rogers has really accomplished a lot in the RCWF! He might be in the hall of fame sometime soon!" "And to that I say...Over my dead body! I'm not going to let this drunken buffoon disgrace the hall of fame! You think I'm going to let man in a pirate costume stand next to the REAL warriors that kept the lights on?" "Jake, you might of had a little career with a few vanity accomplishments. But you better brace yourself for the imminent fact that you will NEVER get to make it out of Night Of Immortals with your body intact enough to accomplish anything else." "It's nothing to me to destroy a man's future. You won't win another title. You won't make it to hall of fame. You won't be successful. Your career...in the RCWF will end. And ultimately, you'll be remembered..but only...as a mere embarrassment from a dark time in RCWF's history." "You're lucky to have made it this far, Jake. But your career as a wrestler...has reached it's cap. You might want to bow out gracefully and consider a career change." "You might want to fade into obscurity and waste away the rest of your life drinking rum runner daiquiris as a homeless alcoholic." "You might want to move to Somalia and get real with your little pirate persona." "Hell...you might even be a good part of the Pirates of The Carribean exhibit at Tokyo Disney." "But you'll NEVER...be a good part of RCWF." "Any conflict between you and I in the future is just going to end up like PainKiller last week. It's going to end with YOU on the ground." "..If you do, for some reason, decide to be a mortal that shows up at Night of The Immortals, It's going to be the worst night of your life. Because not only am I going to destroy you physically, I'm going to destroy Faith mentally. I'm going to tie your wife up backstage, give her some treatment for the crabs and barnicles in her vagina. And force HER...to watch ME...make YOU...walk the PLANK. For the last time.... ::He stuck his face into the camera, and strongly titled his head downwards causing his sunglasses to sink beneath his eyes, revealing them for the first time as he peered into the lends with an arched eyebrow similar to The Rock.:: "MATIE!" ::Shoryu maintained the stare into the camera, with the arched eyebrow facial pose as it fades into black.:: |
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2:49 AM Jul 11