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| Shoryu makes a scene at NOTI Press Conference; Rips Faith Rogers for "Poor Hygeine." | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 7 2012, 05:09 PM (232 Views) | |
| danshoryu | Apr 7 2012, 05:09 PM Post #1 |
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::And the room stood quiet, save for the sounds of camera flashes and whispering between sports journalists as Dan Shoryu, walked to the center seat, in a series of podiums in front of a wallpaper backdrop with a repetitive pattern of RCWF and Night Of The Immortals logos. He wasn't wearing his usual wrestling gear, he was wearing a full gray suit, with a black shirt and a neon green tie. He was still covering his eyes with his trademark Ray Ban wayfarers. Quiet commentary from The Dude was heard on the audio track for the programming at home.:: The Dude> "And scheduled next on the Night Of The Immortals panel is Hall of Famer Dan Shoryu, who's making his way out here now. He's expected to make some type of announcement related to his match at Night Of The Immortals. His blood feud with Jake Rogers is one of the most compelling angles we've seen being developed on the road to NOTI. With physical confrontations on the last two PainKillers. And Shoryu antagonizing both Jake and his wife Faith with mean-spirited words on promotional spots. We've seen harsh rebuttals from both Jake and Faith, and as well as back and forth insults, on Twitter between @DanShoryuRCWF and @PirateKingRCWF. We're all wondering what kind of formal announcement Shoryu has related to his match, which already has a rare stipulation of being 2 out of 3 falls. And we've gotten word that he's about to begin, so let's listen." ::Shoryu folded his arms on the table in front of him, and leaned into one of those podium mic stands to begin his planned speech for the event.:: "I'm here today to clean up my image." "It's come to my attention that I've developed a bad reputation of being cruel and misogynistic towards women, from several recent comments I've made related to Faith Rogers, the wife of my upcoming opponent Jake Rogers." "And I just wanted to be on the record as saying, I'm sorry." "I apologize to Faith Rogers, to any comments I've made that could be considered threatening, slanderous, sexually harassing, or anything prophesizing a future of poverty." "Dan Shoryu doesn't want to mentally hurt women. Dan Shoryu doesn't want to physically hurt women. Dan Shoryu doesn't want to see Faith Rogers 'live as a hobo.'" "And even though I still stand by my comments made toward your Husband. I'm concerned about your future in the world." "Because let's face it. After NOTI your husband is not going to be a viable, feasible source of income. And your career, is getting closer and closer to that ending conversation, where, it's inevitable, you're going to be released from your contract." "The reality is, you're only here as a packaged deal with your husband. Yeah, you had a good run as Women's champion. But we've all heard the rumors bubbling for months now, and it's at the point where it's undeniable. I mean...I've smelled you. There's no use hinting at it or 'beating around the bush.'" "You're like the female Vader. RCWF divas are refusing to work matches with you for your poor hygiene." "So out of the goodness of my heart, I'm here to today to make sure that you still have a way to survive and continue your current lifestyle after the inevitable downfall of your husband, Captain Hook." ::Shoryu stands up as the camera flashes intensify and muttering is hurt. He holds his right arm outward, towards two old men with suits and glasses coming out the back holding a giant check made out to "FAITH ROGERS" for $20,000.:: "I'm here with the CEOs of Gillette and Summer's Eve feminine hygiene products to announce a proposal for the first ever endorsement deal for an RCWF Diva. See these companies are interested in having a former RCWF Women's Champion as their official spokesman for the upcoming Before And After campaign!" "See Faith, let's be honest sweetheart. You have a problem, with the rare opportunity of getting PAID for solving your problem. The first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have a problem!" "And to be frank, your vagina is your problem! It smells like HOLY MACKERAL! It's infested with crabs, scabies, and you haven't shaved...probably...ever! I've never seen such a full blossomed muff of hair down there! But other than that, you're relatively easy on the eyes!" "So Gillette, Summer's Eve, they're interested in give you 20,000 dollars cash money to be the face of the Before and After Campaign! All you have to do is take some pictures, including some of your hairy and cleanly shaved vagina after shaving it with Gillete's new VENUS 5 razor! And agree to have chemical samples taken for the first before and after SMELL-O-Gram technology inserts to be included in various Women's Fashion and Sports magazines! After you douche it all out of course." "And by the way, sweetheart that statistic you said about me being a two time RCWF champion...." "YOU KNOW WHAT?!?!? FUCK THIS!" ::Shoryu snatched the check out of the two 'CEOs' who both took a step back with looks of unexpected shock on their faces. There was a collective 'gasp from the audience' as Shoryu firmly hoisted the sign in the air, and drove his right knee upwards into the center of it breaking the giant stiff 'check' in two , throwing both halves into the crowd of journalists. With a furrowed brow, he authoritatively point to the right, his body language demanding that the two CEO's scram out of the room. They follow his nonverbal instructions. Shoryu leaned over into the microphone, now speaking out of complete agitated anger.:: "Your little speech on that pirate ship pissed me off so much that I'm not giving you any lifeline for your future. If you did you real research, you stupid cunt, you'd realize that there's logs out there confirming me as more than just a '2 time world champion.' The records on the RCWF website are wrong. Those same records also have Roz and I 'one time tag team champions'. I don't have to dignify these false statistics with a response!" "As far as I'm concerned, bitch, you can live off of alimony and insurance money after I cripple your husband, from the waist down. And you divorce him for someone that can satisfy you physically." "2 weeks ago on PainKiller you told me where you husband was hiding. THANKS! The whole world saw me knock him out cold! And you weren't there to help him? Tell me about how you two are the only people that can trust each other again? That was a pretty poor showing, sweetheart!" "Then last week on PainKiller, I gave your husband the beating of his lifetime in the ring, 1 on 1, and pinned him for the 1-2-3! Don't give me that 'it wasn't fair' crap! I've already proven I can destroy your husband one on one, two weeks in a row! And strike three is about to come." "It won't be a challenge at all to do it again with your stanky ass prancing around ringside! Try to get involved, I dare you. I have no reservations of knocking your ass out either. Because you're a female, but you're not a lady, a woman, or a girl. You're not even not a human being. Jake is a pirate, and your his mermaid maiden! You look like a human being, but downstairs, you're a fish! You're whole bottom half smells disgusting, it's a dead giveaway." "Your husband, is lucky, to go out big. Maybe it's not as glorious as walking the plank. But he WILL..be one of the main subjects in one of the biggest spectacles of the year. The Legendary Dan Shoryu dismantling some punk ass "up and comer" with a lame PG-rated gimmick that the die hard wrestling fans truly hate in front of a record-breaking crowd! They'll relish watching Jake Rogers Ragnarocked to hell! And with the 2 out of 3 falls, they'll even get an encore performance!" "Jake Rogers is going down twice. And Faith, you are on the same boat with him, you're both going down sinking!" "I hope you two enjoyed your little stints as wrestlers. Because I'm going to send you both off on your voyage to unemployment line Neverland." "BON VOYAGE, Faith Rogers, BON VOYAGE!" ::Shoryu swung his right forearm into the microphone, knocking it off the podium, and stormed off the set backstage as the journalists began to talk amongst themselves loudly, amused by the bubbling controversy that Shoryu just enflamed with his mean-spirited publicity stunt.:: |
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2:48 AM Jul 11