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| Cray's Plays; An anthology | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 20 2017, 09:56 AM (51 Views) | |
| TheNewImprovedCray | Jan 20 2017, 09:56 AM Post #1 |
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Here are some of the plays that were performed around the country and the world by me. Starting with my favorite. I'll post them here. I'll post my favorite, unpublished/ unproduced plays. Feel free to discuss them. 1. War is a Picnic Performed by Thespian Productions, NYC, NY A battlefield. Throughout the scene, there are flashes. ANTHONY and ANNE are sitting down, having a picnic. ANTHONY What a lovely day! Gunshot. ANNE Yes, what a lovely day! Explosion. ANTHONY Oh, dear. I think his head blew off. Gunshot. ANNE Look at all that blood! Scream. ANTHONY Maybe we should have gone somewhere quieter? ANNE No, this is an arousing environment. Remember the last war? This is where we had Zip. ANTHONY Oh, yes. That was a lovely war. Total of 42,000 casualties. Many others, innocents, killed. ANNE And where were we? Sitting right here watching it. The two of us. ANTHONY Oh, do you remember our first date? ANNE Yes! We went to that mass execution! ANTHONY So many heads decapitated! ANNE Oh, just thinking about it... ANTHONY What is it, my Anne? ANNE Oh, Anthony! They kiss passionately. Gunfire. Explosion. Enter PETRA and PETER. PETRA Well, well. Look who was too cheap to get a room. PETER Figures. Not of our class, love. PETRA Oh, look at that! It is so horrid! PETER Terribly horrid. Yes, I do think I will wet my pants. ANNE and ANTHONY laugh and squeal. PETER Hey! Will you control yourselves? We’re trying to eat. ANTHONY Eat shit! ANNE What he said! PETER I do beg your pardon? ANNE I’m Anne. And this is my husband Anthony. We’re on a date. PETER Yes, well if you could kindly leave us alone...we’re on a date, too. We’re observing tragedy. ANNE Observing tragedy? PETER The misfortune of these boys getting shot. We are here to grieve. PETRA Mourn. ANTHONY Oh. PETRA My little boy is fighting in the army. ANNE Mine too. PETRA His name is Zep. That one right there. The spastic one. ANNE Mine is named Zip. The tall, handsome one. PETRA How perfect. Do you have a coffin picked out for him? ANNE A what? Enter ZIP. ZIP Mom, what are you doing here? ANTHONY Sit down, we’re having a picnic! ZIP Get out of here. ANTHONY We have your favorite. Apple pie. ANNE I made the Apple pie. ZIP This is a war! Not a picnic! ANNE Wars are picnics! PETER Yes, except everyone dies. PETRA You know, as a child every year at my birthday, I wish on a candle...I do hope I die. You must be Zip. ZIP I am. PETRA Zip, huh? How old are you? ZIP Eighteen. PETRA Eighteen, huh? Well, sit right down here! Explosion. ZIP All of you, get out of here. Enter ZEP. ZEP Mommy! Daddy! ZIP Are these your parents?! ZEP This is my mom! This is my dad! PETRA You two know each other? ZIP We sleep in the same tent. ZEP I wake up in the middle of the night and often mistake him for an enemy and shoot at him. PETER That’s my boy! PETRA Peter! Zep, you are too fragile for this war! You still wear child’s underwear. ZEP Yes, but I’ve cum into them. PETRA That dirty talk! ZIP There is no time! They are advancing! Zep, we must get back to fighting. ZEP This is a picnic? PETER Yes. I have ham. ZEP I have not had ham since- PETER Eat, boy. ANNE Look how they spoil that child. ANTHONY Tsk, tsk. PETER As if you don’t? Apple pie? ANNE Sit down, Zip. ZIP I don’t want to. ANNE I said sit down. Tell me about the war. Is it really as wonderful as they say it is? ZIP It’s... Explosion. Scream. Rapid Gunfire. ZIP Well, what do you think? ANNE I think it’s delightful! Look at you, all dressed up! ZIP What do you stand for, mother? ANNE I... ZIP Father? And you, Zep? ZEP I stand for a lot of things. ZIP Does anyone understand why this war is being fought? ANNE More land!!! ANTHONY More land! ANNE And when our side wins, we will have a lot more land. ANTHONY And we will build a giant amusement park! ANNE With roller coasters and Ferris wheels! PETER I would imagine from a war, we would build graveyards. PETRA With lots and lots of tombstones. PETER To bury the dead. PETRA Monuments. ZEP There is a war being fought?! ZIP Listen to me! I will tell you the reason! There is no reason! All of this is an excuse to fight! An absurd reason for us to invade territories and- Enter CAPTAIN, of the opposing side. CAPTAIN I can tell you what happened the last time I heard that. ZIP I apologize. CAPTAIN No, go on. ANNE Would you like to join us for the picnic? PETER Two picnics. Ours is better. ANNE We have sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs, potatoes, and apple pie! PETRA Yes and we have sausage, ham, bacon, and strudel! CAPTAIN This is a war! ANNE Captain gets hungry! CAPTAIN I’ll shoot you all! ZIP No! CAPTAIN These are your parents? ZIP No... ANTHONY Of course we are. I’m Anthony. ANNE And I am Anne. Now have a potato! CAPTAIN sits. Explosion. ANNE We were thinking of having an orgy here. CAPTAIN An orgy? ANNE Yes. Anthony and I, and these two... CAPTAIN An orgy on the battlefield? ZEP Can I join? ANTHONY Sure! PETRA No! There will be no orgy! CAPTAIN Of course there will be an orgy. Or everyone here will die. ZIP Then there better be an orgy. ZEP What is an orgy? ANTHONY Let’s eat first. Can’t fuck on an empty stomach. ANNE Yes, but everyone knows you have to wait thirty minutes after you eat to have sex or you get cramps. CAPTAIN I would like some sausage! ANTHONY Mine? CAPTAIN No...(to PETER) you, sir. Hand me that sausage. PETER hands him sausage. CAPTAIN What do we have to drink? ANNE I brought lemonade! PETRA Lemonade? Oh, you have no class at all. PETRA pours PETER wine. CAPTAIN What kind of wine is that? PETRA The kind of wine we’re not sharing with you! Explosion. CAPTAIN I love that sound! ANNE I do, too. CAPTAIN Do you, really? ANTHONY Yes and I do, too. PETRA It’s horrid and tragic. PETER And tragic and horrid. CAPTAIN Did you bring any cucumbers? ANTHONY I’m confused. Mine? ANNE No. No cucumbers, I’m afraid. But. Well, since Zip has been such a naughty boy and neglected his parents, Captain...how would you like his apple pie? Maybe that will show him! ZIP Mother, I don’t care about apple pie! ANNE Maybe our next child will! CAPTAIN begins eating the apple pie. CAPTAIN I don’t like you people. But you make good food. You sure know how to treat a Captain. ZIP Yes, the enemy, too... CAPTAIN Now, is your picnic quite done? ANNE Oh, no. We plan to stay here as the soldiers march through! ANTHONY Yes, you see...she is ovulating. PETRA And we only cry every ten years, so we are long over due. PETER Yes, yes, yes! CAPTAIN This is a battlefield! We’re going to be storming through! You’re in the way! ANNE Such a fussy man. ANTHONY Don’t worry. He’ll go away once he sees that mole on your ass. ZIP This is so embarrassing. CAPTAIN Looks like you’re well-prepared for war, aren’t you? ZIP I do not talk to the enemy. CAPTAIN You just did. I bet Zep does. I bet Zep wants to be my friend. ZIP Zep? CAPTAIN Zep, my boy...how would you like to be a hero? ZEP Yes, sir. I would love to be a hero. CAPTAIN See this grenade? All you have to do is count to ten and light it. ZEP You got it, Admiral. CAPTAIN That’s Captain. CAPTAIN runs off. ZEP lights grenade. ZIP You’re all going to die! Get out of here! ZEP One, two, buckle my shoe! ANNE This has been a lovely afternoon. Simply lovely. ZEP Three, four, open the door! ZIP You’re all going to blow up! Run! Run! ANTHONY I ate much too much. I even ate some of their food. ZEP Five, six, pick up sticks! ZIP Are you people stupid or something? PETRA Tragedy is erotic, isn’t? ZEP Seven, eight, lay them straight! ZIP Please come with me! PETER When I was a boy, I had a red bicycle. Beautiful. ZEP Nine, ten... Grenade blows up. Explosion. There is a flash onstage. All the actors are shown laying on the ground, dead. |
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| TheNewImprovedCray | Jan 20 2017, 02:40 PM Post #2 |
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As I watch the protests and reflect on the role of the Captain (who has come to symbolize Trump), (mind you, I wrote this play a couple of years ago), I am frightened at its reality at how it's become a reality. for example, I live in an apartment, and there's a crazy woman upstairs just vacuuming while we're watching the protests, while people are out there putting there lives on the life, and throwing bricks at houses, and fighting for their beliefs, yet not displaying peace, and fighting with officers. If our country falls into this state of division, between "mindless" people like Anne, Anthony, Petra, and Peter, and people like Zep and Zip, and their dualities, and the Captain trying to take everyone's rights, I'm frightened for the country. War is a Picnic got extremely got reviews, and is popular with all audiences, because is a bitter political-war satire. Protest through art. Not through war. |
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| Melvin | Jan 30 2017, 06:44 PM Post #3 |
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Sophisticated Poster
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Man this is long, and I aint gonna act like I read the whole thing, but I'll get around to it though. Did you ever read anything by Orson Scott Card, though? The Ender's Game series? Reading your post just made me realize that there are two characters, Peter and Petra, and you're talking about duality and that, and I'm just realizing how related those names are, and how I need to go back and re-read a bunch of that series to examine the intentionality behind that, and yeah. |
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| Math | Jan 31 2017, 06:41 AM Post #4 |
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great play, timely relevant ender's game is like the #1 book all the high schoolers read. i wish i had another GUARANTEED classic to give the kids as good as that. |
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eastcoast153 (10:25:43 PM): hey man do you know how to glow mushrooms? im in class eastcoast153 (10:25:55 PM): *grow | |
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| Melvin | Jan 31 2017, 02:00 PM Post #5 |
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Sophisticated Poster
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Buncha good books in that series, like Xenocide, and every book in the Ender's Shadow series where Peter and Petra become really close Never read Ender's Game in HS and I'm kinda glad about that because I think a typical high school English class analysis would have killed it for me |
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| Math | Feb 1 2017, 11:01 AM Post #6 |
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im trying to find free choice books for kids tho |
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eastcoast153 (10:25:43 PM): hey man do you know how to glow mushrooms? im in class eastcoast153 (10:25:55 PM): *grow | |
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| key grip flip dip trip | Feb 1 2017, 02:07 PM Post #7 |
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Any Ol' Skank Ho
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what are "free choice books"? books about how you are free to choose in life? war is a picnic, great title. agreed that it's timely. cray, i find myself worried about all the division as well (trump's win made me feel like i didn't know america) and i worry that our responses to him are just doing more to divide... but also wonder what else to do when someone does the *BEEEEP* he does. tightrope walk. |
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| Math | Feb 6 2017, 11:03 AM Post #8 |
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free choice like the kids get to decide what they want to read. they pick ENDERS GAME all the time. |
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eastcoast153 (10:25:43 PM): hey man do you know how to glow mushrooms? im in class eastcoast153 (10:25:55 PM): *grow | |
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