| Welcome to Coalition for the Written Enhancement of Sam's Story. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Jokes | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: May 18 2008, 08:36 PM (1,538 Views) | |
| Alec/X5-494 | Aug 2 2008, 08:58 AM Post #31 |
|
My Daddy Shot Your Daddy in the Head
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I know what you mean. Our niece got married. It was a beautiful wedding and the dinner and reception were just amazing!!!
|
![]() |
|
| tammitam | Aug 2 2008, 06:27 PM Post #32 |
|
Out of the Fire and Back in the Frying Pan
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Well I am glad you're back, I missed you!!
|
![]() |
|
| Alec/X5-494 | Aug 3 2008, 03:32 PM Post #33 |
|
My Daddy Shot Your Daddy in the Head
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I missed you as well!!
|
![]() |
|
| Alec/X5-494 | Aug 11 2008, 02:56 PM Post #34 |
|
My Daddy Shot Your Daddy in the Head
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
The Top 12 Canadian Public Holiday Ideas rejected by Canadian Parliament. 12-> Lawyers Day 11-> Start of Christmas Season Day 10-> False Labour Day 9-> Make a Move on Your Secretary Day 8-> Hallmark Card Day 7-> Bring Your Handgun to Work Day 6-> Cretienmas or Gomery Inquiry Day 5-> Deadbeat Father's Day 4-> Bad Hair Day 3-> Doris Day 2-> St. Hooter's Day 1-> Hash Wednesday |
![]() |
|
| tammitam | Aug 21 2008, 06:30 AM Post #35 |
|
Out of the Fire and Back in the Frying Pan
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
This should be once a month ... in conjunction with Call in Sick to Work Day!! |
![]() |
|
| Alec/X5-494 | Aug 21 2008, 12:23 PM Post #36 |
|
My Daddy Shot Your Daddy in the Head
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I agree.
|
![]() |
|
| Alec/X5-494 | Sep 11 2008, 08:05 AM Post #37 |
|
My Daddy Shot Your Daddy in the Head
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?'' ''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.'' A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car. |
![]() |
|
| tammitam | Sep 14 2008, 08:57 PM Post #38 |
|
Out of the Fire and Back in the Frying Pan
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
|
![]() |
|
| Alec/X5-494 | Sep 14 2008, 09:02 PM Post #39 |
|
My Daddy Shot Your Daddy in the Head
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Glad you liked it!!
|
![]() |
|
| tammitam | Sep 23 2008, 05:30 AM Post #40 |
|
Out of the Fire and Back in the Frying Pan
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Again, I got this in email, and just thought I'd share since it cracked me up. Cancel your credit card before you die...........(hilarious!) Now some people are really stupid!!!! Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. (No wonder we outsource.) A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here is the exchange: Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.' Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.' Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.' Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been' Family Member: 'So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?' Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!' Family Member : 'Do you think God will be mad at her?' Citibank: 'Excuse me?' Family Member : 'Did you just get what I was telling you -- the part about her being dead?' Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.' Supervisor gets on the phone: Family Member : 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.' Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.' Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?' Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given) Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?' Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given) After they get the fax: Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.' Family Member : 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.' Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?) Family Member : 'Would you like her new billing address?' Citibank : 'That might help.' Family Member: ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.' Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!' Family Member : 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet??? |
![]() |
|
| Alec/X5-494 | Sep 23 2008, 06:37 AM Post #41 |
|
My Daddy Shot Your Daddy in the Head
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
|
![]() |
|
| tammitam | Sep 27 2008, 08:42 AM Post #42 |
|
Out of the Fire and Back in the Frying Pan
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I really liked this one, mainly because my husband was a Marine! Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat... Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a coke.' 'Don't get up,' said the Marine, 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.' As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine's shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good, I'd really like one, too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marine's other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors... 'Why does it have to be this way?' 'How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?' THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES. THE BEST! |
![]() |
|
| Alec/X5-494 | Sep 27 2008, 09:09 AM Post #43 |
|
My Daddy Shot Your Daddy in the Head
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
|
![]() |
|
| tammitam | Oct 4 2008, 08:32 AM Post #44 |
|
Out of the Fire and Back in the Frying Pan
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Another email one I got! Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a White Trash Biker are all walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie. The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada ' POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming. Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.' POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries. The Biker says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.' The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.' The Biker sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lites a cigar, smiles and says, 'Fill it with water.' |
![]() |
|
| tammitam | Oct 4 2008, 08:40 AM Post #45 |
|
Out of the Fire and Back in the Frying Pan
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
One more! FINALLY.. THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.' The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, 'OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.' |
![]() |
|
![]() Join the millions that use us for their forum communities. Create your own forum today. Learn More · Register for Free |
|
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · That's Not Funny. It's a Little Funny. No, it's Not. · Next Topic » |





![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)




9:34 AM Jul 11