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| Dead Duck; Joke | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 24 2005, 09:54 AM (98 Views) | |
| Lisablue | Aug 24 2005, 09:54 AM Post #1 |
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A special friend
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A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried. "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20. But what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up." :lol: |
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| :Testarossa | Aug 24 2005, 05:56 PM Post #2 |
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Testarossa
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:lol:
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| If you stay ready, you won't need to get ready! | |
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| bingirl | Aug 24 2005, 06:00 PM Post #3 |
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Confidante
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:judges:
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| <a href="http://www.glitterkiss.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/4895/d235dbd512444ef6cef920ebn3.gif" alt="Image hosted by ImageShack" border="0"></a> | |
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| Lisablue | Aug 25 2005, 06:38 PM Post #4 |
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A special friend
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:lol: Apologies in advance to any Irish site visitors!...had to be told this one! An Irishman goes to the Doctor .... "Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot". So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look. Incredible" he says, "there is a £20 note lodged up here." Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a 10 pound note appears. "This is amazing!" exclaims the Doctor. What do you want me to do?" "Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man!" shrieks the patient.The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and another and another, etc.... Finally the last note comes out and no more appear . "Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batt er . How moch was in dare den?" The Doctor counts the pile of cash. £1,990 exactly." "Ah, dat'd be roit, says the Irishman (Wait for it............) I knew I wasn't feeling two grand.." SMILEY |
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| :Elvira | Aug 25 2005, 10:48 PM Post #5 |
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Next door neighbour
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Groan! :lol: |
![]() ![]() http://www.postpals.co.uk 'When you want to give up and your heart's about to break Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes' | |
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7:12 PM Jul 11