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How desperate do we have to be???
Topic Started: Apr 17 2006, 03:09 PM (177 Views)
Minxy
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Quote:
 
LONDON (Reuters) - Police searching for a 12-year-old autistic boy and his mother said on Monday they had found the boy's body in the River Humber.

Ryan Davies and his 40-year-old mother Alison, who suffers from depression, were reported missing from their Greater Manchester home last week.

Police said they were very concerned for Davies' mother, who is still missing and is not thought to have her medication with her.

The boy's body was spotted in the Humber near Goole on Sunday morning by the captain of a pleasure boat and was recovered by the coastguard.

A formal identification of the body has yet to take place, but Humberside police said they believed it was that of the missing boy.

The boy and his mother were last seen leaving his grandmother's house in Marple, near Stockport, at 6 p.m. on April 11. Police urged the boy's mother to get in touch.





Just how desperate do you have to be before someone sits up and takes notice? I know people who have said that they have felt so desperate they've desperately needed a way out, god I've thought about it myself when things were really bad a few years ago. How bad must things have got for this poor mother if she feels that this is the only way out?

How many times people have assumed that I get loads of help because I have kids with special needs? You all know that that is not true, the help just isn't there and what is is so limited that most of us don't qualify.

This poor woman, her poor child, how desperate it gets.

www.themazegroup.org
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kenny
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A special friend
I know it makes you want to cry, i use to have days when i just did'nt want to get up, or when i heard movement in the morning i would think oh no just five more minutes.Your right where is our help and support, its a good job we have each other ghug
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Minxy
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Yeah I know Shell, Marks had some really good days but today has been a blinder and as usual it's me he's been hitting out at and threatening. I can imagine many people who don't know what it's like to live with this on a daily basis saying how on earth could this poor woman ever feel that desperate, how could she feel that this would be her only way out? (assuming all the speculation is right of course)

I've been in the system for many years now and there have been times when I have got down on my knees and begged for help only to be reminded what a great job I do and how wonderful I am to give up everything for my kids. That's not help and that sort of pat on the back lasts seconds. What parents need is support and help so that they have a few minutes to address their own needs now and then, lets face it we already carry around with us the guilt that we can't give as much as we would like to the rest of our family. Our self esteem is often none existant and often we feel that there is no light at the end of the tunnel to give us hope. I am lucky in that I have my husband by my side to help me, I know that if I were on my own I would never manage the boys and my marriage is as close as it can be, despite the fact that the only time we ever spend alone is between 9.00am and 3.15pm.

I have said and I mean it when I say that I love my boys with all my heart and I would do anything in my power to help them and keep them safe but it's hard and sometimes things that most people would cringe with shock over or run away from like the hitting and the anger, I can walk away from and rise above, other times I find myself so tired that the slightest knock or abusing sentence cuts to the bone and I feel I have no more to give to anyone.
People will judge this woman, people who have never walked a mile in our shoes. I hope I never get to that state and I for one will be making no such judgements


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:Elvira
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I felt so sad when I read this, that poor woman and little boy. I saw her sister on the television earlier and she was absolutely distraught, I can't begin to imagine the terrible guilt she must be feeling.
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'When you want to give up and your heart's about to break
Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes'
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caldcot01
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i totally agree with everything you have said mandy i couldnt put it any better
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:Testarossa
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Testarossa
I heard that they had found a boys body, but didn't know he was Autistic. This is really sad. Poor child, and God knows what his mum must be going through if she hasn't done anything to herself.
If you stay ready, you won't need to get ready!
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Lisablue
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My prayers are with the poor boy whose life was took away from him. I know life gets hard at times but I feel sad that his right to life was taken through no choice of his own.
No matter what her thoughts or reasons were she had no right to make that decision.
There have been awful stories of parents taking their childrens lifes before and when we hear it we are mortified...just because the lad was autistic dosent make it right or...to me...any more understandable.

Sorry...just the way I think about it!
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caren34
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heard about this from janet , poor woman and boy
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Minxy
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Don't get me wrong Lisa I'm not saying that she was right to do this, of course nothing can justify the taking of a life, I was just trying to highlight that maybe had the right support been there then this tragedy might not have happened. Maybe if this woman thought she had somewhere to turn to offer her some practical support this may not have been what she may well have seen as her only way out
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:Testarossa
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Testarossa
I agree that more support should be readily available, but nothing should ever get that bad that you end up killing your own child. She could have walked into Social Services and left him there - at least he would have lived, and they could either have put the support in place, or found him somewhere else to live.

To have done this, she must have been mentally unstable to start with, and I do agree that it is a failing of the system.

For whatever reasons this has happened, it could have been avoided.
If you stay ready, you won't need to get ready!
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jules
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:help: The poor woman,It isnt the first time a distraught mum of an autistic child has done this and no doubt wont be the last.Has some one else said what help only a few are fortunate to get support.I too have been patted on the bvack for the great job Im doing,this after I sat crying saying I couldnt cope he was going through a bad patch.Has some one once said he or she is your whole life you live with it ,to a consultant your just a five minute slot in there diary to be filed away till next time.My thoughts go out to her and the family she has left behind and to all other mums of disabled children who struggle to cope.
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