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Grieving again?
Topic Started: May 25 2006, 10:37 AM (109 Views)
Minxy
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Administrator
Most of us know by now that when a child is diagnosed there is this period of grieving that we all experience, well I'm not sure if the holiday has had a lot to do with it, but also the boys growing so big lately but I seem to be touching this whole process again. I mean, I know I grieved when they were diagnosed, but I think in the back of my mind I had planted this dream of them breaking out of their chrysalisis and becoming completely different adults, perhaps almost leaving the autistic behaviours behind. I suppose it's dawned on me that this is never going to happen and I know I've really felt this lack of freedom or the ability to do the things I want when I want to do them.

Does anyone else feel like this?
www.themazegroup.org
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caldcot01
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Next door neighbour
yes i do mand alot of the time i also feel bad for feeling like this but it is a hard thing to deal with every parent has dreams for there children but when you have children with special needs these dreams often change ive been told darren wont be able to live independently that breaks my heart so yes mandy i do feel like im grieving alot of the time but on the plus side i wouldnt be without my boys for all the money in the world i hope that makes sense
take care
sarah xx
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:Druss
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Next door neighbour
I think as our kids get older we hit a second greiving if you like because we think of very different things then and we also come to a realisation that things are going to be very different for us in the future and perhaps in a way also we know that instead of the pressure subsiding kids going off to do things the pressure on us will also increase sometimes ten fold im not saying this is the case for all but in my case it will be so yes i feel the same sometimes i think of it all the time and sometimes i am able to stop thinking of it for a while ,im not very good at putting down how i feel but i hope you get the idea i know how you feel mate :hug: :hug: :hug: :unsure:
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:Testarossa
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Testarossa
I guess I still have all this to come.

Hugs coming your way Mandy

xx ghug xx
If you stay ready, you won't need to get ready!
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:acorns47
Bestest friend
I'm glad you touched on this subject, as I have been feeling the same way. Obviously I haven't been in Jen's life for all her life, but when I did get to know and love her I began to think I could really help her to mature, develop life skills, learn to talk and read and write. Initially she made great strides and even the teachers noticed, but after about six months the improvement tailed off, and now I am becoming more realistic about what the future holds for her. It makes me really sad. Sad for Jen cos accessing things that other people take for granted is going to be virtually impossilbe for her. And sad for John and I too, and I feel some guilt when I admit it, but recently I have realised that no amount of coaxing guidance routine and support is going to help Jen move on to whatever the next stage is. All the star charts in the world cannot make her increase in maturity or develop in other ways. Its ok while you keep the charts going but realistically you can only have one at a time, and as soon as you stop the charts she regresses. Yes, I have a sense of grieving, of acceptance that this is now it, and the future doesnt bear thinking about
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
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