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So Damn Normal looking!!
Topic Started: Jun 20 2006, 07:26 AM (168 Views)
Minxy
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At the carnival we had no choice but to take Mark along with us and to introduce as much structure as we could I gave him the task of collecting money for the guess the bears birthday we were doing to raise funds. He sat there looking handsome (He really is!) and as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. I defy anyone who didn't have children on the spectrum to even know that he had autism and I noticed more than a few girls giving him the eye. Anyway it was clear to me that he was working damned hard to stay there and his eyes 'emptied' more than a few times so I knew there was trouble ahead.
Well he blew at school the next day, the worst he's ever done. He pulled the phones out of the walls and tried attacking the teachers. It took 4 to restrain him and still he managed to bite one of them. We had to fetch him home in the end.

You know I saw people looking at me at the carnival wondering what I had to worry about and thinking I was making my boys seem worse than they were. They had no idea that Mark was capable of this, or that James had kicked off in a similar way that morning and called me all sorts.

It really hurts you know, it's like living in this weird world where outwardly all looks well and inwardly things are manic. I was grateful that I had friends with me at the carnival who also had kids on the spectrum who could see that behind the smiles Mark was having a tough time, that meant a lot to me.

Sometimes I wish they had a tatoo on their heads stating what to me is obvious!
www.themazegroup.org
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caldcot01
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i agree with everything you have said and can totally relate it is hard very hard and you wish people wouldnt look at you as if you are making the whole thing up my thoughts are with you
sending hugs your way
take care
sarah xx ghug ghug xx
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:Rustic
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Minxy
Jun 20 2006, 07:26 AM
He sat there looking handsome (He really is!) and as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. I defy anyone who didn't have children on the spectrum to even know that he had autism and I noticed more than a few girls giving him the eye. Anyway it was clear to me that he was working damned hard to stay there and his eyes 'emptied' more than a few times so I knew there was trouble ahead.

It really hurts you know, it's like living in this weird world where outwardly all looks well and inwardly things are manic. I was grateful that I had friends with me at the carnival who also had kids on the spectrum who could see that behind the smiles Mark was having a tough time, that meant a lot to me.


I was thinking as I read that Mand that Mark had done really well managing the day. OK things have gone wrong since, but on the day he was helping you, looking gorgeus, getting the eye from the girls, and yes he struggled, but he did it, he held it together. You must be sooooo proud of him for that, and getting the attention from the girls could do wonders for his self esteem. :)

Although the kickback since is a setback, looking at the wider picture, maybe next time he goes through that sort of intense day, perhaps a day off school immediately afterwards? Its not often, and the chance to recover his balance after a difficult day perhaps might help occasionally.

I hope Mark doesn't let the setback spoil the achievement clap-ping

:hug: to you all.

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Minxy
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I know you are right. It was a huge achievement. I know that and I Do realise that. He did really well and although he struggled he really wanted to be there which for Mark is not often (although the responsiblity of having the money etc and the control we gave him helped a lot) Thanks Sue, sometimes when things go belly up we forget to celebrate and a swift kick up the bum does wonders!

www.themazegroup.org
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:acorns47
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hi Mand, I can understand what you feel like...its the same for me with Jen. School in particular (even though its a special school) either play down all the things that concern me most about Jens behaviour, or else they insinuate that it must be caused by something happening at home. What you must keep in mind is that you don't need to justify anything to anyone, you know your son....but its hard to take the stares and comments, I agree. Take care, Kim xx
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
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:Testarossa
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If you stay ready, you won't need to get ready!
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:Adamsaunt
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ghug Big big hugs. Karen. xx
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