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| To all my internet friends | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 14 2007, 09:49 PM (89 Views) | |
| Minxy | Sep 14 2007, 09:49 PM Post #1 |
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Administrator
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To all in my address book My thanks go to all those who have sent me emails this past year........? I send thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. I also have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I now have no money at all, but that will all change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split £7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks again to you all, I have now learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mails to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy petrol without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up. I no longer go shopping because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,Singapore and Uzbekistan. Thanks to you all, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum. And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. Hey I wish you all the best and have a wonderful summer...! By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late....... |
| www.themazegroup.org | |
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| :Elvira | Sep 15 2007, 07:29 PM Post #2 |
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Next door neighbour
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:lol: I'm off to send that now
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![]() ![]() http://www.postpals.co.uk 'When you want to give up and your heart's about to break Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes' | |
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| :Rustic | Sep 15 2007, 08:35 PM Post #3 |
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Bestest friend
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Now I'm depressed :lol: |
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| :Testarossa | Sep 15 2007, 09:13 PM Post #4 |
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Testarossa
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I'm so glad my mouse wasn't plugged in!!!!
:lol: Just sent it round! :rolleyes: |
| If you stay ready, you won't need to get ready! | |
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I'm off to send that now




7:36 PM Jul 11