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For Fuck sake
Topic Started: Apr 22 2006, 03:48 PM (266 Views)
Olly Jackson
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Caught two burglars in my house today, well i saw them bolting out of my window. Fucking chased them in just my boxer shorts and have sliced my feet to pieces.

Why does this shit always follow me?

these fuckers, and my legal career are lucky i didnt catch the cunts, cos right now I could fucking kill someone.
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MaxPower
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Follower of Branigann's Law
That fucking sucks, and they just got you not that long ago to, right?


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Caber McJock
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I agree
What have you got for weapons in your house, dude? Sounds like you should have some "help" handy.
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Olly Jackson
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About 6 months Trev. The police arent going to be able to do much, although after i stopped chasing some little 12 year old girl told me one of their names.

Quite funny actually, someone has alraedy knocked on my door saying that theyll sort it if i want. Im just not sure that i can let that happen cos i know it wouldnt be pretty.
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d320kg
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Time for you to invest into some "hammers," ;)

:guns

Or ADT sercurity if they have that where you live.
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GRAFTER
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yeah, get some sledge hammers, and when the cops come around asking why you got sledge hammers in the house, say you do levering as part of your strongman training.
you just happend to be training with them as burgalurs enterd your home with baseball bats ( keep some baseball bats handy, just in case they dont bring their own :lol ) :is
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Jamie
First Moderator on the SDF; first to have moderator title revoked.
That sucks, Olly. Really sorry to hear that. I hope it clears up soon.

What was taken, if you don't mind me asking?
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Frozenkilt
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Online douche. GOLD! I need more Gold
Fuck Olly, but you are popular with the crooks. Personally, I'd be tempted to let that other guy settle it up for you. Always good to have friends in low places.

- Sean
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jonathan
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Sorry to hear that man, Manchester is just about the worst place to get robbed/burgled. I lived there for a year and don't miss it a bit (even though we lived in Old Trafford which was OK).

Has Vegan kept you up to date with the adventures of the local scallies in his neck of the woods? The last attempt didn't go so well and the little bugger sliced himself on the window and lost a shit load of blood......it's hard not to laugh! :lol:

Jonathan
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d320kg
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GRAFTER
Apr 22 2006, 06:48 PM
yeah, get some sledge hammers, and when the cops come around asking why you got sledge hammers in the house, say you do levering as part of your strongman training.
you just happend to be training with them as burgalurs enterd your home with baseball bats ( keep some baseball bats handy, just in case they dont bring their own :lol ) :is

Umm, I wasn't refering to sledge hammers(Ha)..I was refering to artillery. But either way is still good though! :P :peace
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Olly Jackson
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I've been super paranoid about it happening again since Saturday, checking any and every noise that I hear outside.


And then, today at around 2pm, 5 fucking days after it happened, My neighbours catch someone on my roof, whilst Im in the house. Didnt get a look at the little shits this time as they were gone before I managed to get within eyesite.

These cunts better hope I never catch them. I can see it now, 'how did he break his skull sir?' 'Ive no idea officer, i think he must have fallen'

Cheeky fucking vermin infested street rat cunts. :bang
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Frozenkilt
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Online douche. GOLD! I need more Gold
Time to either:

a) Move
B) Step up the pace for home defense

I think one of these guys may have to have a terrible, terrible accident Olly.

- Sean
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Jesse Snadden
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Pakistan's Strongest Man
Cover your roof in some kind of oil. Watching them slip and break something could be amusing.

And get one big ass dog. An English Mastiff or Great Dane could do.
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Welshdragon
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ARMAGEDDON
Unlike most place`s the Uk is shit when it comes to protecting your home - you cause damage to some one that breaks into your home you get arrested for it the same thing applys if you place razor wire up or anything similar- they get hurt you get done!

Fuck sledge hammers claw hammers are the way forward!

One of my mates caught a known car thief breaking into his car a couple of years back - he beat fuck out of him then rolled him up in a old rug and kicked lumps out of him everytime he walked past him in his house for 2 days - he then drove him to the local wood tied him to a tree coverd him in petrol and threatened to burn him alive if he found out that he ever stole another car again - the car thief was well known at the time and apparently he took up a change in proffesion soon after :P
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TAT 70
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i`ll try the vaseline in the sock tonight
Always nice to see you know someone who is so public
spirited Dale.
Fancy taking time out to explain the errors of his ways
& helping with his transition on to the path of rightousness
not many would bother ;)
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Jesse Snadden
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Pakistan's Strongest Man
Ha Nice story Dale. They waste so much fucking money in Canada trying to rehabilitate criminals into good hard working citizens. That's probably a more effective tactic.
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d320kg
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Welshdragon
Apr 27 2006, 08:25 PM

One of my mates caught a known car thief breaking into his car a couple of years back - he beat fuck out of him then rolled him up in a old rug and kicked lumps out of him everytime he walked past him in his house for 2 days - he then drove him to the local wood tied him to a tree coverd him in petrol and threatened to burn him alive if he found out that he ever stole another car again - the car thief was well known at the time and apparently he took up a change in proffesion soon after :P

LMAO! I bet he did change his profession,lol. :lol

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Caber McJock
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I agree
Great story Dale.

You Brits have a real flair for violence. Very artistic.

not sarcasm, BTW. I honestly like it.
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Olly Jackson
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Sean, unfortunately I can't move, tbh, I dont really want to, I like my house, I just dont like scallie cunts.

Jesse, I cant get a dog neither, the house is rented and so thats a no-no. Funny, my mum lives in a shit shit area and we didnt get robbed the entire time I lived there, about 14 years. Of course we had a german shepherd who'd happily chew your balls off just for looking at her in a funny way.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that I cant touch these shits. One wrong move and my career is over. I pushed the line too much when I worked the door, I just cant take any more chances.

Dale, man thats awesome, is he for hire?
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