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| some obscure sexual terms; that i've never heard off. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 11 2006, 02:21 PM (526 Views) | |
| Tom Jones | Jun 11 2006, 02:21 PM Post #1 |
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Administrator and don't you bastards forget it
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Ok some of these are pretty fucked up . The Landshark The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass. Angry Dragon Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon. The Zombie Mask While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good week's worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead. Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the back of the girl's throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle of your most favorite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends. Dog In A BathtubThis is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath. Pattycake While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load. Donkey Punch Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate. Flaming Amazon This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz! |
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| MaxPower | Jun 11 2006, 02:49 PM Post #2 |
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Follower of Branigann's Law
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Amazing, some of the shit people come up with. The Landshark sounds like a good way to hurt your cock. |
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| Tom Jones | Jun 11 2006, 02:55 PM Post #3 |
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Administrator and don't you bastards forget it
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Yea but if you video and sent it to the tv you get £250 |
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| Raptor | Jun 11 2006, 06:10 PM Post #4 |
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Who's Your Daddy
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donkey punch...
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| MaxPower | Jun 11 2006, 09:18 PM Post #5 |
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Follower of Branigann's Law
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I've read this about 20 times now and it still makes me laugh everytime. |
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| Matt Frost | Jun 12 2006, 01:57 PM Post #6 |
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Fuckin' SLAYER!!
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The Toboggan- Nail your woman doggystyle at the top of the stairs. When you're about to shoot off, reach forward and clip her arms out from underneath her and ride her down the steps. |
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| Frozenkilt | Jun 12 2006, 04:39 PM Post #7 |
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Online douche. GOLD! I need more Gold
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Most of these are definitely one-shot deals. - Sean |
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| MaxPower | Jun 12 2006, 04:59 PM Post #8 |
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Follower of Branigann's Law
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Yup, after you try one of those you'll need a new GF. |
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| Frozenkilt | Jun 12 2006, 06:29 PM Post #9 |
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Online douche. GOLD! I need more Gold
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Makes a nice goodbye to one you're trying to ditch, though. - Sean |
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| Tom Jones | Jun 12 2006, 07:25 PM Post #10 |
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Administrator and don't you bastards forget it
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If you just want to get rid of them then heres a few more: The Bronco You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off. The Carpet Cleaner While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women. The Rose Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming. The Compton Gangbang You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help you out.) Coyote This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful. Dirty Swirly While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one filled with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it. Dutch Oven Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing). The Hindenburg When some slut who is so bad at oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool. The Lorena Bobbit Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard core booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out the window.) Pasadena Mudslide This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin to the Cleveland Steamer.) The Ram When attacking from behind, you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity. |
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| MaxPower | Jun 12 2006, 07:42 PM Post #11 |
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Follower of Branigann's Law
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| Raptor | Jun 12 2006, 07:43 PM Post #12 |
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Who's Your Daddy
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****ing hell viking some pretty decent ways to dump girls there!
;)
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| Tom Jones | Jun 12 2006, 07:46 PM Post #13 |
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Administrator and don't you bastards forget it
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Nothing to do with me mate, And whats with the **** you can get banned for that sort of stuff round here. |
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| Raptor | Jun 12 2006, 07:52 PM Post #14 |
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Who's Your Daddy
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lol, i'm so used to automatic word filter on BB.com that i now type in **** instead Where did you find all this from? A website? |
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| Tom Jones | Jun 12 2006, 07:55 PM Post #15 |
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Administrator and don't you bastards forget it
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Look for once I'm ahead of the game so I'm not saying nothing |
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| Raptor | Jun 12 2006, 07:57 PM Post #16 |
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Who's Your Daddy
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ok that's fair any other bizzare sexual terms? this thread is the best ever!! |
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| MaxPower | Jun 12 2006, 08:43 PM Post #17 |
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Follower of Branigann's Law
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I've had more then my fair share of these. As the saying goes, "No head is better then bad head" |
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| Caber McJock | Jun 12 2006, 09:10 PM Post #18 |
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I agree
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W3RD. |
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| Frozenkilt | Jun 12 2006, 09:23 PM Post #19 |
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Online douche. GOLD! I need more Gold
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The worst part is that the whole experience is usually prefaced with some kind of almost bragging about the skill she possesses at the sport. The disappointment is palpable. - Sean |
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| Caber McJock | Jun 12 2006, 09:49 PM Post #20 |
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I agree
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Ever had one bite your testicles? Is there anyone who likes this? |
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| MaxPower | Jun 12 2006, 09:58 PM Post #21 |
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Follower of Branigann's Law
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Glad its never gone that far. Yeesh |
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| Tom Jones | Jun 12 2006, 10:06 PM Post #22 |
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Administrator and don't you bastards forget it
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The Max power Your girl is kneeling in front of you telling you she's going to do something wonderful for you. She bites on your nuts whilst gazing up into your face. Hands on top of her head you bring up your knee sharp under her chin knocking the bitch out cold, Then, before she recovers, take the opportunity to get those pictures you always wanted - just in case you need them one day. |
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| sqeezemasterflash | Jun 13 2006, 01:08 AM Post #23 |
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Now you're boring us
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These are good, but this is the most extreme one I've ever heard The Louisville Plugger A person, the pluggee, takes a lot of Vicodin or Percocet over the course of a few days. Both of these painkillers induce severe constipation. Once the pluggee has a huge plug of shit lodged in his or her gut, the plugger greases up the skinny end of a baseball bat and inserts it into the pluggee's ass. Using the knob at the end of the baseball bat, the plugger locates the plug of shit in the pluggee's ass and commences pushing and prodding the plug of shit, massaging the prostate gland all the while, and gradually works the skinny end of the bat into the plug of shit. Once the baseball bat end is firmly lodged in the pluggee's plug of shit (thus anchoring the bat in the pluggee's ass), the plugger takes a second baseball bat and starts whacking the first baseball bat as hard as he or she can (whack sideways to vibrate the bat, don't push the bat in deeper). This will, if done right, "sting" the pluggee's ass in the same way that your palms sometimes sting when you smack a baseball bat hard against something. The whacking continues until the pluggee comes. |
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| WildGorillaMan | Jun 13 2006, 01:29 AM Post #24 |
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P&B Ambassador to the SDF
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I imagine not.
![]() I'm fuckin' dying here. |
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| dougmahnke | Jun 13 2006, 02:07 PM Post #25 |
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regarding the MAX POWER: make sure the testicles have been removed before the sharp blow is delivered by the knee. this could have very regretable consequences otherwise. |
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7:28 PM Jul 11
