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| Tweet Topic Started: May 18 2007, 03:39 AM (101 Views) | |
| MaxPower | May 18 2007, 03:39 AM Post #1 |
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Follower of Branigann's Law
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Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days.. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that called when 2 people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?" She was a little taken, but she decided to just tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling". Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called "Bunk Beds". And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you." Dogs and Cats Diarys Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary 8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40am Walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing! 11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary Day 683 of my captivity : My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape... In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......for now. |
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| Jamie | May 18 2007, 06:46 AM Post #2 |
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First Moderator on the SDF; first to have moderator title revoked.
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I hate the idea of cats being smarter than dogs. You know that girl in your high school who was stupid, ugly, AND stuck up? That's what a cat is, although some cats actually cute. The idea that they're clean pisses me off too. The bloody things role around in dirt, kills rodents, birds, etc., and clean themselves with their mouths. |
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| Paul_Amor | May 18 2007, 09:22 AM Post #3 |
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Well thay say the truth hurts :P Cats are far superior to Dog. Throw a ball, and your dog bring it back. Throw a ball with a cat and the cat looks at you and thinks "I ain't getting it, if you wanted it so much why the fuck did you throw it away in the first place" Dr Dave had slept with 1 of his patients & felt really guilty. No matter how much he tried, his sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal reassuring voice say 'Dave don't worry about it. U aren't the 1st Doctor 2 sleep with 1 of ur patients & u won't b the last and ur single, just let it go'. But invariably the other voice would bring him back 2 reality whispering 'Dave you're a fuckin vet" |
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| shawn | May 18 2007, 09:44 AM Post #4 |
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Random tagline
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![]() Is this the Pussy ?
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| ballsofstone | May 18 2007, 01:31 PM Post #5 |
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Yeah a cat may clean itself with its mouth but hey, your dog licks it's own nut sack and dirt hole for 15 minutes and then comes over and licks your face- mmmmmm good |
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| MaxPower | May 18 2007, 01:40 PM Post #6 |
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Follower of Branigann's Law
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If its a female dog thats licking itself then licks your face then your face will smell like pussy all day. |
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