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| funny emails | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 28 2007, 10:59 AM (40 Views) | |
| Rhonda | Jan 28 2007, 10:59 AM Post #1 |
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Bo is my daddy-now spank me!!
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Here are a couple of funny emails I received so I thought I'd share :rolleyes WHY MEN AREN'T SECRETARIES... Husband's note on refrigerator for wife: Someone from the Gyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst beer is normal. I didn't know you liked beer Guts vs. Balls > > We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know > the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the > definition for each is listed below... > > GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by > your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, > or are you flying somewhere?" > > BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of > perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt > and having the balls to say: "You're next." > > I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, > there is no difference since the outcome of both result in sudden death. Try to picture this as you read it! Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor Of the slopes as written by a New Orleans paper: A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the Kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart. Conditions were perfect...12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic Numbness all over...the "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of day. One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a rest room. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away. If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a temperature of 12 below doesn't help matters. With time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods and no one would even notice. He assured her, "The white will provide more than adequate cam ouflage." So she headed for the tree line, began lowering her ski pants and proceeded to do her thing. If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right way and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move. Yup, you got it!!! She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not forgiving...even during the most embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing through the trees...somehow missing all of them and onto another slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while. She continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual vista for the other skiers. The woman skied back under the lift and finally collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to Pull up her ski pants. At long last her husband arrived, putting an end to her nudie show, then summoned the ski patrol. They transported her to a hospital. While in the emergency room, a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk. "It was the stupidest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly, I couldn't believe my eyes! There was this crazy woman skiing backward, out-of-control, down the mountain, with her bare bottom hanging out of her pants. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of the lift." ... "So, how'd you break your arm? |
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| Remedy4Luv | Jan 28 2007, 01:30 PM Post #2 |
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Neck (and Tummy) Nibbler
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I LOVE that first one, Rhonda!!! Too funny... I saw the following post dropped on Bo's MySpace page. I'm not usually one to pass on chain letters, so I'll delete the bottom part of it, but I just LOVED what this one says: PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON I am sending this to you to see how many actually read their comments.Your response will be interesting. Pay attention to what you read. After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was sent to you. Here goes: People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season . LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime. |
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